The Red Badge of Courage: An Episode of the American Civil War

  CHAPTER IX.

  The youth fell back in the procession until the tattered soldier wasnot in sight. Then he started to walk on with the others.

  But he was amid wounds. The mob of men was bleeding. Because of thetattered soldier's question he now felt that his shame could be viewed.He was continually casting sidelong glances to see if the men werecontemplating the letters of guilt he felt burned into his brow.

  At times he regarded the wounded soldiers in an envious way. Heconceived persons with torn bodies to be peculiarly happy. He wishedthat he, too, had a wound, a red badge of courage.

  The spectral soldier was at his side like a stalking reproach. Theman's eyes were still fixed in a stare into the unknown. His gray,appalling face had attracted attention in the crowd, and men, slowingto his dreary pace, were walking with him. They were discussing hisplight, questioning him and giving him advice.

  In a dogged way he repelled them, signing to them to go on and leavehim alone. The shadows of his face were deepening and his tight lipsseemed holding in check the moan of great despair. There could be seena certain stiffness in the movements of his body, as if he were takinginfinite care not to arouse the passion of his wounds. As he went on,he seemed always looking for a place, like one who goes to choose agrave.

  Something in the gesture of the man as he waved the bloody and pityingsoldiers away made the youth start as if bitten. He yelled in horror.Tottering forward he laid a quivering hand upon the man's arm. As thelatter slowly turned his waxlike features toward him, the youthscreamed:

  "Gawd! Jim Conklin!"

  The tall soldier made a little commonplace smile. "Hello, Henry," hesaid.

  The youth swayed on his legs and glared strangely. He stuttered andstammered. "Oh, Jim--oh, Jim--oh, Jim--"

  The tall soldier held out his gory hand. There was a curious red andblack combination of new blood and old blood upon it. "Where yeh been,Henry?" he asked. He continued in a monotonous voice, "I thought mebbeyeh got keeled over. There 's been thunder t' pay t'-day. I wasworryin' about it a good deal."

  The youth still lamented. "Oh, Jim--oh, Jim--oh, Jim--"

  "Yeh know," said the tall soldier, "I was out there." He made acareful gesture. "An', Lord, what a circus! An', b'jiminey, I gotshot--I got shot. Yes, b'jiminey, I got shot." He reiterated thisfact in a bewildered way, as if he did not know how it came about.

  The youth put forth anxious arms to assist him, but the tall soldierwent firmly on as if propelled. Since the youth's arrival as aguardian for his friend, the other wounded men had ceased to displaymuch interest. They occupied themselves again in dragging their owntragedies toward the rear.

  Suddenly, as the two friends marched on, the tall soldier seemed to beovercome by a terror. His face turned to a semblance of gray paste. Heclutched the youth's arm and looked all about him, as if dreading to beoverheard. Then he began to speak in a shaking whisper:

  "I tell yeh what I'm 'fraid of, Henry--I 'll tell yeh what I 'm 'fraidof. I 'm 'fraid I 'll fall down--an' then yeh know--them damnedartillery wagons--they like as not 'll run over me. That 's what I 'm'fraid of--"

  The youth cried out to him hysterically: "I 'll take care of yeh, Jim!I'll take care of yeh! I swear t' Gawd I will!"

  "Sure--will yeh, Henry?" the tall soldier beseeched.

  "Yes--yes--I tell yeh--I'll take care of yeh, Jim!" protested theyouth. He could not speak accurately because of the gulpings in histhroat.

  But the tall soldier continued to beg in a lowly way. He now hungbabelike to the youth's arm. His eyes rolled in the wildness of histerror. "I was allus a good friend t' yeh, wa'n't I, Henry? I 'veallus been a pretty good feller, ain't I? An' it ain't much t' ask, isit? Jest t' pull me along outer th' road? I 'd do it fer you,Wouldn't I, Henry?"

  He paused in piteous anxiety to await his friend's reply.

  The youth had reached an anguish where the sobs scorched him. Hestrove to express his loyalty, but he could only make fantasticgestures.

  However, the tall soldier seemed suddenly to forget all those fears. Hebecame again the grim, stalking specter of a soldier. He went stonilyforward. The youth wished his friend to lean upon him, but the otheralways shook his head and strangely protested. "No--no--no--leave mebe--leave me be--"

  His look was fixed again upon the unknown. He moved with mysteriouspurpose, and all of the youth's offers he brushed aside. "No--no--leaveme be--leave me be--"

  The youth had to follow.

  Presently the latter heard a voice talking softly near his shoulders.Turning he saw that it belonged to the tattered soldier. "Ye 'd bettertake 'im outa th' road, pardner. There 's a batt'ry comin' helitywhoopdown th' road an' he 'll git runned over. He 's a goner anyhow inabout five minutes--yeh kin see that. Ye 'd better take 'im outa th'road. Where th' blazes does he git his stren'th from?"

  "Lord knows!" cried the youth. He was shaking his hands helplessly.

  He ran forward presently and grasped the tall soldier by the arm. "Jim!Jim!" he coaxed, "come with me."

  The tall soldier weakly tried to wrench himself free. "Huh," he saidvacantly. He stared at the youth for a moment. At last he spoke as ifdimly comprehending. "Oh! Inteh th' fields? Oh!"

  He started blindly through the grass.

  The youth turned once to look at the lashing riders and jouncing gunsof the battery. He was startled from this view by a shrill outcry fromthe tattered man.

  "Gawd! He's runnin'!"

  Turning his head swiftly, the youth saw his friend running in astaggering and stumbling way toward a little clump of bushes. Hisheart seemed to wrench itself almost free from his body at this sight.He made a noise of pain. He and the tattered man began a pursuit. Therewas a singular race.

  When he overtook the tall soldier he began to plead with all the wordshe could find. "Jim--Jim--what are you doing--what makes you do thisway--you 'll hurt yerself."

  The same purpose was in the tall soldier's face. He protested in adulled way, keeping his eyes fastened on the mystic place of hisintentions. "No--no--don't tech me--leave me be--leave me be--"

  The youth, aghast and filled with wonder at the tall soldier, beganquaveringly to question him. "Where yeh goin', Jim? What you thinkingabout? Where you going? Tell me, won't you, Jim?"

  The tall soldier faced about as upon relentless pursuers. In his eyesthere was a great appeal. "Leave me be, can't yeh? Leave me be fer aminnit."

  The youth recoiled. "Why, Jim," he said, in a dazed way, "what's thematter with you?"

  The tall soldier turned and, lurching dangerously, went on. The youthand the tattered soldier followed, sneaking as if whipped, feelingunable to face the stricken man if he should again confront them. Theybegan to have thoughts of a solemn ceremony. There was somethingrite-like in these movements of the doomed soldier. And there was aresemblance in him to a devotee of a mad religion, blood-sucking,muscle-wrenching, bone-crushing. They were awed and afraid. They hungback lest he have at command a dreadful weapon.

  At last, they saw him stop and stand motionless. Hastening up, theyperceived that his face wore an expression telling that he had at lastfound the place for which he had struggled. His spare figure waserect; his bloody hands were quietly at his side. He was waiting withpatience for something that he had come to meet. He was at therendezvous. They paused and stood, expectant.

  There was a silence.

  Finally, the chest of the doomed soldier began to heave with a strainedmotion. It increased in violence until it was as if an animal waswithin and was kicking and tumbling furiously to be free.

  This spectacle of gradual strangulation made the youth writhe, and onceas his friend rolled his eyes, he saw something in them that made himsink wailing to the ground. He raised his voice in a last supreme call.

  "Jim--Jim--Jim--"

  The tall soldier opened his lips and spoke. He made a gesture. "Leaveme be--don't tech me--leave me be--"

  There was another silence w
hile he waited.

  Suddenly, his form stiffened and straightened. Then it was shaken by aprolonged ague. He stared into space. To the two watchers there was acurious and profound dignity in the firm lines of his awful face.

  He was invaded by a creeping strangeness that slowly enveloped him. Fora moment the tremor of his legs caused him to dance a sort of hideoushornpipe. His arms beat wildly about his head in expression of implikeenthusiasm.

  His tall figure stretched itself to its full height. There was a slightrending sound. Then it began to swing forward, slow and straight, inthe manner of a falling tree. A swift muscular contortion made theleft shoulder strike the ground first.

  The body seemed to bounce a little way from the earth. "God!" said thetattered soldier.

  The youth had watched, spellbound, this ceremony at the place ofmeeting. His face had been twisted into an expression of every agonyhe had imagined for his friend.

  He now sprang to his feet and, going closer, gazed upon the pastelikeface. The mouth was open and the teeth showed in a laugh.

  As the flap of the blue jacket fell away from the body, he could seethat the side looked as if it had been chewed by wolves.

  The youth turned, with sudden, livid rage, toward the battlefield. Heshook his fist. He seemed about to deliver a philippic.

  "Hell--"

  The red sun was pasted in the sky like a wafer.