Betrayed: Days of the Rogue
He nuzzled her neck and whispered in her ear. “Do you ever imagine yourself in those books?”
“Um…sometimes.” She swallowed suddenly finding it hard to string two words together.
“Is it me pressing you close? Holding you?” He cupped her breast, the heat of his hand burning through the layers of cloth. Her nipple hardened as he gently kneaded her flesh. A soft kiss pressed just below her ear caused her to catch her breath.
Flutters of excitement stirred in her stomach. She tilted her head to the side in a silent request, allowing him easier access to her neck. Rafe’s kisses affected her like no one else’s ever had, and with each encounter she found herself craving him even more.
Taking her up on her unspoken offer, he gently bit on the exposed cord, then lathed the area with his tongue. Eve whimpered as the flutters inside her became a warm pool of need. She tried to turn to face him, but he tightened his arm around her waist.
“Stay still.” There was a rough edge to his voice, almost a growl and the sound of it sent shivers down her spine. She contented herself with gripping the forearm that pinned her to him, feeling the tendons and muscles, the heat of his skin.
Releasing her breast, he rubbed his hand up and down the front of her thigh, coming ever closer to her centre. Eve felt her heartbeat quicken, anticipation making her squirm and clutch his restraining arm even tighter.
“Do you like that?” He murmured the question, his lips skimming her cheek bone and then her temple.
“Yes.” She hissed the answer, and tipped her head so she could see his face. His gaze was intent, his eyes almost black as they stared into hers. Once again there was a stirring sensation in the back of her mind, but she was too caught up in what she was feeling to really care.
Rafe twisted slightly and caught her mouth in a hard kiss. At the same time he cupped the apex of her thighs and the feel of his hand touching her so intimately, even through layers of clothing, almost had her legs giving way. He rocked his hand back and forth over her sensitive flesh and she moaned as the sweet aching inside her began to grow. Her hips flexed, brushing her butt against his now straining erection. It was as if she were sandwiched between two sources of pleasure.
Her focus narrowed. His hand rocking against her core, his hardness thrusting against her behind. He was holding her head now, his fingers threaded through her hair, lightly pulling as he invaded her mouth. Feeling built within her, sensation piling upon sensation. Needing something to hold on to, she reached back, grasping at his head, his shoulder. Her fingers curled, her nails seeking purchase, as the tower of desire he’d constructed within her began to quiver. She was almost there, if he’d just…
“No.” Abruptly, he let her go and stepped back.
She stumbled, clutching the table edge, disoriented from his sudden withdrawal, her body quivering with the need for release. “Rafe…?” Her brain was foggy, bereft from the sudden feeling of being alone, unable to process what was going on. It was as if someone had pulled the plug that allowed it to function properly and she was trying to access backup power.
Rafe stood a few feet away, his fists clenched at his side, his head bowed. She could see his muscles quivering as he breathed deeply. His face was contorted making her think he was experiencing some sort of anguish.
“What’s wrong?” Eve took a step towards him, reaching her hand out towards him. Her own sense of loss was forgotten in her concern for him.
“Don’t touch me.” He barked the words at her and she pulled her hand back, wondering what was going on. Had she done something wrong? Self-doubt curdled the desire within her and she wrapped her arms around her waist feeling cold and lost. Was this some form of payback for last night? But that hadn’t been her fault…
Seconds ticked by before Rafe finally turned towards her. His face was a study of hard angles and planes, lines bracketing his firmed lips. When he spoke his voice was rough, his words clipped.
“I’m sorry. That shouldn’t have happened.”
Eve blinked. Was he apologizing for starting or for stopping?
“I got carried away, and that’s unacceptable. At least not until we both know what we’re dealing with.”
“Dealing with?” She shook her head having no idea what he was referring to. “Does this have anything to do with last night? Because if it does, then—”
He interrupted abruptly. “You’re Fae, aren’t you?”
“Uh…” She was shocked at the question. It was the last thing she’d expected to hear. Did he suspect? Well, he must, but how had she given herself away? And how should she answer? She tried to stall for time. “I beg your pardon?”
“You heard me, though I’m not really asking. I’m stating a fact.” He stepped closer, his eyes fixed on hers, deep and all knowing. “You’re in the awakening phase. You’ve been having vague headaches, picking up on the emotions of others. Your mental wall is still shaky. The energy pulse of the earth is becoming clearer to you… Am I right?”
She tried to step back, unable to look away as he continued to advance, but could only take one step before bumping into the edge of table. Gripping the edge of the drawing surface, she braced herself. Lost in his gaze, she held her breath, somehow knowing what he was going to say.
He stopped barely an arm’s length away, an undefinable expression on his face. “I know what you’re going through, Eve. I’ve experienced at least some of it. You see, I’m Fae, too, or an empath, if you prefer that term.”
While she’d been expecting his admission, actually hearing the words had her mouth dropping open and she gaped at him.
A smile curled the corner of his mouth, and he reached out with one long digit and pushed up on her chin, closing her mouth. “I seem to have left you speechless.”
“Well…” She paused having no idea what she should say.
“No comment? No questions?” When she didn’t respond he gave a brief nod. “A novice, exactly as I suspected. I take it I’m the first of our kind you’ve encountered?”
She nodded, having some difficulty believing what he’d said. Rafe was Fae, like her!
He chuckled softly. “Come, I’ll explain.” Taking her by the hand, he led her to the sofa. Once she was seated, he sat in the chair opposite her and leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees.
“Fae have no way of identifying each other. We blend in perfectly with regular humans. Some might see it as a safety feature, but mostly it’s damned annoying.”
She frowned. “If there’s no way of knowing then how…?”
“Did I know you were one? I suppose I misspoke. There are a few ways to identify a Fae but they aren’t obvious. If a Fae has his or her mental block down, another Fae can identify them. And when two Fae become…close…a circuit of emotional feedback begins. It’s called a mental bridge. That’s what tipped me off about you.”
“Emotional feedback?” It sounded pretty weird to her.
“When we touch, or kiss, our emotional barriers can slip if we aren’t careful and we can feel what the other Fae is feeling. Our kiss the other day made me suspicious.”
She recalled that kiss, how she’d been almost senseless afterwards. How he’d pulled away and become so cold and detached. “Why didn’t you say something then?”
“Like you, I was surprised by the discovery. There aren’t that many of us left. The Fae gene is recessive and breeding with humans has diluted the blood line. Encountering another Fae is rare. I suppose I needed some time to process the information.”
“And you decided now was the time? Right in the middle of…” She faltered and waved her hand in a general way between the two of them.
“Making out?” He shook his head. “I hadn’t intended to touch you. My mental image of you drawing the two of us in a scene from the book, combined with some unreleased sexual tension from last night, got the better of me. When things seemed to be getting out of hand, I knew I had to pull back and explain. There can be no repeat of last night. It wouldn’t be
fair to either of us.”
“Fair?”
“Empaths can become almost addicted to each other. Emotional feedback heightens the effect of the brain chemicals, like dopamine and oxytocin, that are released during sex. And each subsequent encounter between that particular pair of Empaths increases the effect.
“Emotional feedback? Addicted?” She blinked. Okay, this was most definitely weird.
“I’m not making this up, Eve. Humans have a similar reaction to sex – research shows that the brain during an orgasm looks much like the brain of a person taking heroin. There’s about a ninety-five percent correlation. With Empaths, the effects don’t fade completely.”
She stared at him stunned.
“When Empaths begin to engage in sexual activity, their mental wall can slip. A bridge begins to form between their minds, a direct link if you will, that allows complete access to what the other person is feeling, to the effects of those brain chemicals. The emotions feed off each other, growing exponentially and, in essence, give the participants what might be considered the best sex they’ve ever experienced.”
Eve digested what he was saying. Kissing Rafe had been incredible and sex with him… Well, she had felt as if she were drugged.
“The short of it is that once Empaths have sex with each other, they crave the chemical rush—what some might call an endorphin high—and they want to repeat the experience. Each encounter forges a stronger bridge until they are essentially bound together.”
“Wow. That’s um…” Eve fumbled, not sure how to respond. When Rafe said he’d explain, she’d thought he’d tell her about forming a stronger mental wall, or how the Fae came about, or maybe even how one’s ‘powers’ developed and changed with age. This was not at all what she’d been expecting.
“It’s a bit hard to take in, I’m sure.” He was studying her, his face sporting its usual bland expression. How did he do that? Talk about something as intimate as having sex with the same nonchalance as ordering whole wheat toast?
“Yeah.” She cleared her throat. It felt scratchy and dry. “Hard to take in about sums it up.”
“Any questions?” He prompted.
She tucked her hair behind her ears and tried concentrate on what she’d just learned. Having sex with Rafe, or any other Fae, resulted in some sort of chemical rush that eventually resulted in a bond. Were she and Rafe already bonded? The idea gave her a funny quivery feeling in her stomach, not totally unpleasant at all. “How many times can a couple…um…have sex before that ‘bond’ forms?”
“It varies from person to person, how frequently they’re intimate, how strong their empathic abilities are, their ability to maintain a mental wall.” Rafe paused and for the first time a fleeting glimpse of emotion crossed his face. He stood up and walked to the window, flicking the curtain to the side. The light spilling in revealed the twitching muscle in the side of his jaw. “I don’t think we should chance it since neither of us are looking for a permanent relationship.”
“Right.” Eve nodded, understanding what he was saying. He didn’t want to be stuck with her for the rest of his life. It made perfect sense. She purposely ignored the ache in the region of her heart.
Rafe turned towards her and she tried not to show how shell-shocked she felt. Her emotions were running the gamut from anger to despair. Her head was spinning from the information dump she’d just been exposed to and—she sneezed twice in rapid succession—she wondered if she was catching a cold. No doubt rolling around in a puddle last night was to blame. She scowled noting that Rafe gave every indication of being as fit as the proverbial fiddle.
“Are you all right?” He cocked his head.
“Never better.” She’d be damned if she’d admit anything to him now. Getting to her feet, she looked around for the bag of items she’d been gathering. “Shouldn’t we be going? You said you had lots of work to do.” Most likely he saw right through her avoidance tactics but at this point she didn’t really care.
He nodded and glanced at his watch. “You’re right. I need to get going. Damien called earlier. He’s going to need the truck to get some more posts from the lumberyard. He’ll be waiting.”
Eve eyed Rafe, wondering if he was still angry with Damien. It couldn’t have been jealousy that set him off this morning; the man had basically just dumped her. She rubbed her forehead still unable to make any sense out of the strange relationship the two men had.
Chapter 23
The trees on either side of the private road were still mostly bare, though the promise of leaves could be seen in the swelling tips. Wild grasses and weeds weren’t quite so reticent to welcome spring and were already showing green. Rafe took all this in as he drove back to his place. He shifted in his seat and cast a glance at his companion, suppressing a sigh when he noted how she was still resolutely staring out the side window.
So far the ride had been conducted mostly in thick silence; his lame comment about the recent morning fog had garnered only a small grunt of acknowledgement. Eve seemed lost in thought and disinclined to talk. It wasn’t surprising, Rafe acknowledged; he’d dumped a lot of information on her, and she needed time to sort it out but he had a feeling there was more to it than that. Usually she was the one talking and he was the quiet one. It felt odd to have their roles reversed.
Sliding another look her way, he noted faint lines marring her brow and how her hands were tightly clasped in her lap. He wished he knew how she was feeling. Being empathic didn’t help him any when the other person put up a mental wall, and Eve’s was firmly in place.
Was she upset to learn that he was empathic? Did she now feel she’d need to be constantly on guard against him invading her privacy? It wouldn’t be the first time someone had reacted that way. He grimaced as the memory of a long ago day pushed its way forward…
He’d been eight years old and a classmate had caught his fancy. Trying to impress the young she wolf, he’d decided to share a secret with her, whispering to her the fact that he was one-quarter Fae. At the time she’d seemed impressed, but the next day it had been an entirely different story. She hadn’t even looked his way all morning, and he couldn’t figure out why.
“What’s wrong, Meghan?” He’d approached her in the coatroom trying to understand the abrupt change from the previous day when she’d sat with him at lunch and shared her oatmeal cookies.
“You’re Fae.” A look of distaste had accompanied the accusation.
“So?” He’d shoved his hands in his pocket and shrugged.
She’d tilted her chin and looked down her snub nose at him. “My mother told me all about your kind. You can see inside my head and know everything I’m thinking.”
“No, I can’t.” He’d rolled his eyes and shook his head at the absurd claim.
“Yes, you can. My mom said so and so did my dad.” She’d given her head an emphatic nod and then placed her hands on her hips and glared at him. “The Fae are sneaky and you can’t trust them. I don’t want you knowing everything I’m thinking so just stay away.” With that, she’d turned on her heel and stalked off with all the self-righteousness that an eight-year-old could muster.
He’d watched her leave, bewildered by her reaction. His mother had recently told him being Fae was a secret, that it made him special. The idea had filled him with delight and he’d been bursting with excitement to share the news with someone. Since moving to this new pack, Meghan had been his best friend but now…
Deflated that his first love had been so fickle, he’d headed back to his desk and tried to concentrate on his work. Her rejection had hurt and that in itself would have been enough to spoil his day, but it soon became apparent she’d shared his secret with the rest of the class.
Just minutes into the lesson an eraser hit him in the back of the head and he’d turned around to glare at the children behind him.
“Hey, mind reader.” One of the boys had hissed at him while keeping a watchful eye on the pack’s appointed teacher. “Can you figure out who did i
t?”
“I’m not a mind read. It’s only emotions I can sense and not even that yet.” He’d tried to explain the intricacies of being Fae even though he hadn’t really understood all of it himself. “It takes the Awakening—”
“Ha! You’re not even awake!” The boy had sniggered and then turned to the others. “Rafe’s just a dozy Fae! We’ll have to wake him up.”
Walking home from school, the others had followed him, heckling and shoving, yelling at him to ‘wake up.’ More than once he’d been knocked down, the knees of his pants tearing, abrasions on his palms from where he’d tried to catch himself. But he hadn’t complained or turned to look at his persecutors. His father had told him to stay out of trouble, not to cause problems in their new pack. So he’d held his head high and walked home, holding back the tears that had stung his eyes, keeping his lips firmly pressed together so no one could see them tremble. His throat had felt tight and his face burned hot with shame. Being part Fae was nothing to be proud of.
He’d gone straight to his room, not wanting to share his disgrace with anyone.
The taunts had continued at school for some time after that, and he became an expert at hiding what he was thinking and feeling. Eventually, the teacher had final caught wind of the situation, but by then he’d been firmly established as an outsider by the other pups.
It had taught him a valuable lesson; how it felt to be ostracized, to be on the receiving end of prejudice. He’d also learned to keep his heritage a secret, not sharing the truth until he felt he really knew a person. And even then, he could never be sure of how they’d react to the news. More than once a promising relationship had ended after he’d mentioned his background. Thankfully, it didn’t happen very often anymore, or perhaps it was the fact that, with his busy schedule, he seldom bothered with relationships…
He gave a sigh. The scars of the past were still there. Maybe that was why he’d been drawn to working with rogues; on some level, he knew how they felt.