Reign or Shine

  My cheeks blazed. I was sure they had to be fire-engine red by now.

  Because I think you’re completely hot, I thought. But of course I didn’t say it out loud. I hadn’t gone that crazy—yet.

  “Never mind why,” I said, and then hesitated. “But are you?”

  He shook his head. “Definitely not.”

  I let out a long sigh. “Oh, good. I mean . . . whatever. Doesn’t really matter.”

  He eyed me curiously. “Okay.”

  My mind was churning. “Were those your thoughts I heard this morning in the hallway?”

  “Yes,” he said simply. “With a little effort we should be able to communicate that way when in close proximity . . .”

  ::Like now.::

  I took a step back from him. “Please don’t do that.”

  The corner of his mouth curved into a half smile, and then he glanced around the alleyway. “It’s not safe here. It’ll take me a minute to find a gateway. We can be in the Shadowlands and at your father’s side shortly.”

  I held up a hand. “Whoa, there. Wait a minute. I don’t remember agreeing to that.”

  The grin faded. “I don’t understand why you’re being so difficult. You want to understand what’s going on, I can see that. This is the only way, and we’re running out of time.”

  “Why are we running out of time? It’s been sixteen years. What’s a little more time for me to wrap my head around this whole thing?”

  “Do I have to remind you that somebody tried to kill you earlier?”

  I stiffened at his sudden change in demeanor. “But why can’t you give me a few days to get used to all of this? My head feels like it’s going to explode. I’m still trying to rationalize you telling me that my father’s a demon.”

  “He is.”

  “See, that doesn’t exactly make me want to see him. Demons are evil. They’re . . . well, demonic. And horrible. And they live in Hell.”

  I waited for him to correct me on that hopefully outdated notion.

  “Well . . . they’re not all like that,” he said finally.

  A shiver went down my spine. “That’s not exactly comforting.”

  “The Shadowlands are not connected to the hierarchy of Hell in any way. And most demons are not the kind you’re thinking about.”

  “But some of them are.”

  He shrugged. “I haven’t met any of them personally.”

  My heart was pounding very fast. “Are you a demon? Is that what the guy meant when he called you a Shadow?”

  “No, I’m not a demon. Princess, you don’t have to be afraid. I told you I’d protect you. And your father doesn’t mean you any harm, I promise. Besides, he lives in the Shadowlands, not deeper in the Underworld or Hell itself.”

  “Oh, that’s incredibly comforting,” I said, sarcasm and fear taking up equal residence in my voice.

  “So are you coming with me or not?”

  I crossed my arms. “Not.”

  He groaned with frustration. “I know I’m supposed to be patient and helpful with you, Princess, but it’s becoming very difficult.”

  “You don’t have to put up with me. If you go away and leave me alone, I won’t annoy you at all.”

  His chest expanded as he took a long, deep breath. “I can’t stay here more than two days without returning. It will damage me.”

  “Damage you? How?”

  “I’ll die.”

  I glanced at his amulet. Still not as green as it was when I first saw it. “You’ll die if you don’t go back? Are you serious?”

  “Yes.”

  I clenched my hands at my sides. “Then just go back without me.”

  “Not going to happen.”

  He thought I was stubborn? I was getting angrier—and more confused—the longer I talked to him. I felt like hitting him. Hard. Maybe he’d leave me alone, then.

  I glared up at him, breathing hard. If I was so mad at him, why did I want to grab him and kiss him? Right then. Right at that very moment.

  I was definitely going crazy.

  The fiery expression on his face extinguished as he seemed to realize that I wasn’t going to continue to argue with him. And when I reached up to touch his face his eyes widened.

  “Princess, what are you doing?”

  Something about the high emotions I felt swirling wildly through me compelled me to move even closer to him, surprised at my own boldness. I wasn’t like this. I didn’t make the first move with guys, like, ever.

  I pushed the dark hair off his forehead and tucked it behind his ear. Then I moved my hand down to place it against his chest to feel how fast his heart was beating. “Why am I not supposed to touch you again?”

  His throat worked as he swallowed. “Princess—”

  “It’s Nikki. My name is Nikki.”

  “Nikki . . .”

  I slipped my hand under the zippered edge of his sweatshirt so only the thin material of his T-shirt was between us. His hand moved to my shoulder and he gripped me tightly, but not to push me away.

  “I don’t know who you really are, Michael, but I think you’re driving me a little bit crazy.”

  He pressed his lips together. “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

  “Both, I think. Definitely both.”

  His hand moved to cover mine, pressing it against his heart, and our gazes met and locked together. He leaned over closer until I could feel the line of his tall frame against me, until our lips were almost touching. His harsh expression softened.

  “Nikki . . .”

  I felt the warmth of the name against my lips, and then—ZZAAPPPP!

  My fingers absently brushed against his amulet and white-hot pain burst through my vision and coursed down my body. I staggered back from him a few steps.

  I stood there trembling. What the hell?

  “That,” Michael said after a moment, his voice shaky, “that is why you can’t touch me, and it proves that I’m right. If you weren’t half demon, my amulet wouldn’t affect you this way.”

  “What is it?” I managed.

  “It keeps me alive, it gives me strength, and it protects me from anything it senses might hurt me.”

  I shook my head. “It thinks I’m going to hurt you? Me?”

  He looked at my mouth again. “It’s a definite possibility.”

  This was so messed up. The one guy I wanted to kiss more than anybody I’d ever met in my entire life—even more than Chris—and I couldn’t get close enough without getting electrocuted.

  Oddly enough, it didn’t make me want to kiss him any less. It made me want to kiss him even more.

  I still couldn’t accept everything he was saying. I wasn’t ready. It was too much. I needed time to let it all settle.

  But Michael had said he had to go back soon or he’d die. And he wasn’t going back without me.

  The guy was seriously melodramatic.

  “I need to think,” I said. “I’m going home.”

  “But, Princess—”

  “Please.” I turned to look at him. “Just give me a little time, okay?”

  He didn’t say anything for a moment. His jaw was clenched tightly. “As you wish, Princess.”

  He didn’t follow me when I left the alleyway.

  Which was good. I couldn’t deal with this right now. Any of it. All I wanted to do was get home and plug in my straight iron.

  Pretty sure my hair had gone all frizzy after that last jolt.

  6

  Demon.

  The word echoed in my head as I jogged the rest of the way home.

  Demons were horrible, ugly, evil, horned monsters who worked for Satan. They possessed people. I remembered watching The Exorcist a few years ago, sneaking it on the TV in my bedroom when my mom wasn’t watching. I hadn’t slept for a week afterward, it had scared me so much.

  It didn’t make any sense. It couldn’t be real. And if it was . . . if I was half demon, what did that mean? Was I evil? Would I suddenly go all dark side and want to
eat souls or something?

  I had to talk to my mom. I’d demand that she tell me everything she remembered about my real father. I’d always imagined that he was some kind of monster for abandoning us, but I never would have believed he was a literal monster.

  Then I could figure out what I was going to do next, because at that moment I had absolutely no idea.

  The first thing I heard when I entered the house was yelling. It was Robert’s voice, raised as loud as I’d ever heard it during his usual temper tantrums over the last couple of months. He was yelling at my mom. Nothing new there, but it immediately made me angry.

  Husband #4 was definitely in the running for the title of Biggest Jerk.

  “Dammit, Susan, don’t walk away from me when I’m talking to you!”

  I walked into the kitchen and his back was to me, his fists tight at his sides.

  “You need to calm down, Robert. Honestly, I can’t reason with you when you’re like this.” Mom’s face was flushed red, and her gaze darted over to me from where she stood by the fridge, holding a glass of water. “It’s okay, honey. Just give us a minute.”

  “What else is new?” I asked, refraining from rolling my eyes. “Another day, another fight. It’s like a really loud soap opera around here.”

  “Robert simply doesn’t understand that when we got married I didn’t sign up for having his dinner ready every night at six o’clock on the dot. When he’s hungry he gets cranky.”

  “Call Pizza Pizza,” I suggested. “Thirty minutes or it’s free.”

  Mom smiled. “An excellent idea.”

  Robert looked over his shoulder at me and then back at my mother. “Are you two mocking me? That’s just great.”

  “Robert.” Mom sighed. “Calm down, would you? You’re being ridiculous.”

  “I’m sick of this, Susan.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “That makes two of us. Now I suggest that you relax or you’re going to have to take your temper elsewhere.”

  “This is my house.”

  She smiled thinly at him. “Our marriage certificate makes it half mine. Don’t you forget that.”

  “Shut up!” He slapped her hard across the face and she gasped.

  The glass she held flew out of her hand and shattered on the floor. Without a word, but with her face reddening further with obvious anger, she crouched down and immediately started picking up the broken shards, focused on her task.

  My headache from hell shot through the rest of my body and pain exploded in my stomach. I closed my eyes and when I opened them, I had Robert by his arm, twisting him around to look at me.

  “Never hit my mother again,” I snarled at him, and then I felt something break.

  It was his arm.

  He yelped in pain and his expression quickly changed from rage to surprise at my unexpected strength. “Let go of me!”

  I did, letting him go as if he had just burst into flames. He held his injured arm to his chest and ran from the kitchen. I heard the front door slam shut and then his car start up, tires squealing as he left the driveway.

  I felt strange and out of control. My skin tingled and my eyes began to burn. I squeezed them shut. What was wrong with me?

  “Nikki, what just happened? Come back here—” I heard my mom say as I ran out of the room and up the stairs to my bedroom.

  I stood against the door and tried to breathe normally, tried to will the pain wracking my body to go away. I was so mad. So unbelievably furious that anyone would treat my mom like that. The yelling was one thing, but hitting? No way. Not going to happen. Out of all of her crappy marriages over the years, the men hadn’t been princes, but they hadn’t been abusive either. It wasn’t going to start now. I wouldn’t allow it.

  I breathed out. “Relax, Nikki. Relax.”

  I felt like if I didn’t calm down something really bad would happen. Something worse than snapping Robert’s arm like a twig. I moved to my vanity mirror and sat down heavily in front of it. My hair was a mess, a windblown and tangled blonde bird’s nest. My face was flushed with anger. But my eyes . . .

  Oh, my God. My eyes.

  They weren’t hazel anymore, they were red. Bright, glowing red, and the pupils weren’t round, they were slits, like a cat’s eyes. No wonder they were burning so much. Had Robert seen them change? I didn’t think so. He’d only looked shocked—not scared or freaked out. Red eyes like these would definitely freak somebody out.

  I squeezed my eyelids shut and forced myself to relax until the pain began to go away, until my heart stopped pounding like crazy, until my face cooled and the tightness in my body lessened.

  Slowly I opened my eyes again.

  They were back to normal. But it didn’t make me feel any better.

  It’s true, I thought, a sick feeling replacing the pain in my gut. Michael was right. He was right about everything! I’m part demon.

  I’d wanted to kill Robert, not just hurt him. And it would have been so easy. Too easy. It felt natural.

  That scared the hell out of me.

  There was a knock at my door.

  “Honey,” Mom said. “Can I come in?”

  “Y-yeah,” I managed. I cleared my throat. “Come in.”

  The door creaked open. She had her arms crossed, a look of worry on her face. Had she seen my eyes? Did she know what I’d done? What I’d almost done?

  “What on earth just happened in the kitchen with you and Robert?” she asked.

  “I . . . I think I hurt his arm when I grabbed him.” I sucked in a breath. “I didn’t mean to, but he deserved it.”

  “I’m so sorry you had to see that,” she said. “I’m sorry you had to get involved with something so unpleasant.”

  The fact that she wasn’t grilling me on being a super-strong, red-eyed demon girl was evidence that she hadn’t noticed anything too bizarre. I would have felt a sense of relief at that if I wasn’t so stressed out.

  “Was that the first time he hit you or is this a regular thing?” My voice was strained.

  She sighed. “He’s never done that before. Trust me, if he had we would have been out of here. I can forgive a lot of things, but I’m not a big fan of bruises, if you know what I mean.”

  “Good.”

  I stood up and gave her a hug. She stroked the hair back from my face and smiled. “Who knew my sixteen-year-old daughter would become my bodyguard? Have you been taking self-defense lessons?”

  “It’s not my fault you married somebody so fragile.”

  She shook her head. “So much for searching for the perfect man, huh? I don’t think he exists.”

  “I could have told you that.”

  Her smile widened. “So young and so cynical already. Just like your good old mom.”

  I was silent for a moment. “Is that why you’ve been married so many times? Because you’re trying to find somebody perfect? Maybe that’s why you write romance novels.”

  “Are you trying to be my shrink? Because my messed-up love life could use some analyzing.”

  “What about my father?” I asked. There was no time to beat around the bush. I had to learn everything I could about him as fast as possible before something even worse happened than breaking Robert’s arm.

  Her mouth dropped open. “Excuse me?”

  “Tell me about him. You always avoid the topic, but I really want to know. I need to know. Was he the perfect man?”

  She stiffened. “Your father left me.”

  “I know that part already. But who was he? What did he look like? Was he nice or was he a jerk like Robert? Was there anything . . . unusual about him?”

  Like, was he a demon from another dimension? I thought. That was unusual. Very unusual.

  She shook her head. “Your father was . . . I thought he was the love of my life. But I was wrong. I was young when I met him. I didn’t know any different.”

  That much I knew. My mother had been in her teens when she gave birth to me. She was only thirty-four years old now, which seemed old to
me, but I knew it wasn’t. Some people even mistook us for sisters.

  “Your father,” she continued, “took a few classes with me my first year at college. We hit it off. Went out a few times. Obviously we got a little too close too soon and I became pregnant with you. Then he left and I never saw him again. I’m sorry, Nikki, but the story isn’t terribly romantic. You’ll have to read one of my books if you want a happy ending.”

  I concentrated on everything she was saying, trying to pick out something that might help me understand. So far, nothing. “But his name was definitely Desmond.”

  She nodded, her face clouding over with emotion. “That’s right.”

  “Did you love him?”

  A single tear slipped down her cheek. “I did.”

  My heart clenched. “Where did he go?”

  “I don’t know.” She wiped a hand across her face and looked at me sternly. For a second she didn’t look beautiful, she looked tired and sad. “It was a long time ago. I’ve since learned that true love only exists in fiction. The sooner you accept that, Nikki, the happier you’ll be in your life. Love only brings pain and disappointment.”

  “And men like Robert,” I finished.

  Her expression hardened. “Seems like it, doesn’t it?”

  “Are you going to leave him? Are you going to move us across the country again?”

  “You’ll be the first one to know what I decide, okay? I promise.” She let out a long sigh. “Now, if you want dinner, there’s some pasta and sauce in the kitchen. I think I’m going to my office to work for a while.”

  Before I could say another word, she stood and left my room.

  She didn’t know that my father was a demon. She couldn’t possibly know.

  Robert didn’t come back. Not that I heard, anyway. I forced down some dinner even though I wasn’t hungry and then I watched TV even though I couldn’t concentrate and ended up just flipping channels. My mother’s bedroom light was out by ten o’clock.

  I waited until ten thirty before I quietly descended the stairs and slipped out the front door. I started walking down the street, not paying any attention to where I was going. It had started to snow again and I pulled my coat tighter around me.

  I figured it would only take a minute or—

  “Princess, what are you doing out? It’s not safe.”