I Don't Want to Be Friends

  “Correct,” David confirmed.

  “With such short notice, we only just turned on the heating in your cabin. It might take a while for the room to get to a decent temperature. But you’re free to wait here as long as you like, and there’s a fully functional fireplace in your bungalow already equipped with three days’ worth of firewood.”

  “Heat won’t be a problem,” David said with such a straight face that Haley wondered if she was so randy she was reading double entendres into every innocent phrase. But then David sent her a wicked smile that gave her no doubt what he really meant. A shiver of anticipation ran down her spine.

  “Very well,” the clerk said, and proceeded to show them on the map how to get to their cabin. “We don’t offer room service,” he concluded. “But there’s a convenience store two miles up the main road that’s open 24/7, and of course all the restaurants in town. Please let me know if you’d like any recommendations.”

  “Great,” David said, taking the map and keys.

  “Again, if you need anything at all, call me. You have my number.”

  Within minutes they were back in the truck, cruising along an even smaller road surrounded by thick forest on both sides. Along the way, they passed a few other bungalow-style guest lodges, until they finally reached number eight: a tiny log cabin in the middle of the woods.

  As the receptionist had predicted, the inside wasn’t much warmer than the outside, and Haley eyed the fireplace as her last hope. The rest of the cabin was simple and very earthy, but with a modern-chic vibe. Everything was made of wood: roof, walls, floor, furniture…

  The layout was pretty basic: an open space with a small kitchenette and dining area on one side, a large space in front of the fireplace covered by a giant white rug of several sheep skins joined together, a door to the side that must lead to the bathroom, and a giant king-sized bed at the back of the room. Haley’s eyes lingered on the bed longer than on everything else.

  Coming in, David didn’t seem concerned by the low temperature. He closed the door behind them, set their bags near the bed, rather business-like, and removed his coat so he could work on building up a fire. Haley watched, impressed, as he crumpled a few newspaper pages into paper balls, threw them into the fire pit, and started building an orderly pyramid of progressively thicker logs.

  She sat on the rug in front of the fire, not removing her coat or any of her cold weather accessories. Hat, scarf, gloves… she kept everything on. “I never knew you had such a handy side,” she teased.

  He peeked at her over his shoulder, a dangerous promise in his eyes. “There’s still much you don’t know about me.”

  I’m sure we’re going to close the gap tonight, Haley thought, swallowing.

  Once the fire was up and burning, David settled on the rug next to her. “Still cold?” he asked.

  “Not so much…”

  She made to remove her beanie, but David caught her wrist midair. “Let me.”

  He knelt in front of her and, moving tortuously slowly, pulled off her hat. Then he gently unwrapped the scarf from around her neck, and pulled off her gloves, one first, then the other, his eyes never leaving hers. The buttons of her coat were his next victim and, once he was done, he pushed it off her shoulders. The boots went next, followed by her socks. As he pulled her sweater over her head, he paused to look at her for a few long moments, as if he needed to etch every second into his mind. She used the pause to sneak her hands under his sweater and lift it up. Ever the collaborative, David tugged it off his back in one fluid motion and discarded it next to the mounting pile of her clothes.

  Then his lips were on hers, all restraint finally gone. He laid her backward on the rug and climbed on top of her, careful to keep his weight on his elbows. As they kissed, other useless clothes were shed. When they were down to only their underwear, he stopped again. David looked at her with such burning intensity that Haley was overwhelmed by the strength of her feelings; their feelings.

  “I love you.”

  Haley reached up to cup his face. “I think I do more than love you…”

  David smiled down at her. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “That I’ve never felt something so…” Strong, intense, overpowering… no word seemed big enough. “So…”

  “Shhh…” He pressed a finger to her lips. “I know…”

  He leaned down and kissed her again, and again, and again. And as they made love for the first time, there was no more need to talk… their eyes spoke for them. And their lips, and their hands, and their bodies…

  ***

  “I like that face,” Haley said, rolling over in bed to place her chin on David’s naked chest. After a long time spent on the rug the night before, they’d finally moved to the bed.

  “What face?” David asked.

  “Relaxed, unguarded… serene.”

  “I’m happy.”

  “And I’m starving,” Haley said, sliding out of bed and regaling David with a full view of her naked rear side. “How about breakfast?”

  “You can’t ask me about breakfast looking like that,” David protested.

  “Well, sorry, but I really am starving.”

  Haley moved next to the fireplace to put on yesterday’s clothes, and she was just pulling up the zipper of her jeans when David grabbed her from behind. Shifting the hair away from her neck, he started trailing kisses from right below her ear down to her collarbone. “Are you sure I can’t interest you in a rematch?”

  Haley laughed and wriggled away. She bent to get her sweater, and picked up David’s clothes, too, pushing them into his hands. “Clothes on. You’re treating me to breakfast.” She watched him obediently put his pants and shirt on, and then, with a coquettish smile, she added, “Also, we might want to stock up a little, just in case we don’t feel like going out much in the next few days.”

  David’s eyes darkened. He pulled her close and whispered, “You’re right, we need to stock up.”

  ***

  On the first day of the new year, Haley and David were all packed and ready to get back to the real world. They’d played house for six amazing days, cooking meals, making love, building a snowman, making love, going on cozy restaurant dates, making love… They’d even ventured out of the cabin to visit the frozen-over falls. But now it was time to return to Boston, and time for a big reality check. As much as Haley loved it, they couldn’t live in a bubble forever.

  “You got everything?” David asked, scanning the room for any forgotten items.

  “Yeah. Listen, David, before we go, we need to…”

  “No. No, no, no.” David pushed a finger on her lips. “Don’t…”

  Haley pulled his hand aside, interlocking their fingers. “You don’t even know what I want to say.”

  “No, but I’m assuming it starts with ‘What happens when we’re back in Boston?’ and ends with ‘We need to tell Scott.’”

  “He should know.”

  “Not right away.”

  “He already knows there’s something between us. I mean, it’s the reason he and I broke up. Didn’t you talk at all when you were at home?”

  “Yeah, he asked me if we were together.”

  “And what did you say?”

  “I said ‘no’ because at the time we weren’t together.”

  “All the more reason to come clean.”

  David took his phone out of his pocket. “So, what? You want me to call him now and tell him?”

  “Not over the phone. But as soon as we get back to Boston we’re going to tell him, okay?”

  David shrugged. “I hope you’ll still like me with a black eye or two.”

  Haley smiled and cupped his cheek. “Even with a broken nose.” She rose on tiptoes to kiss him.

  “I see you’ve mastered the carrot and stick thing,” David joked after the kiss.

  “Is it working?”

  “Like a charm.” David pressed his lips to her f
orehead. “Listen, the Crimson have an away game against Vermont tomorrow. We’ll tell him when he comes back… And tonight… we can have another selfish night all to ourselves…” He gave her a long kiss.

  Haley kept her arms wrapped around him after breaking the kiss. “And I’m supposed to be the expert on the carrot and stick thingy, huh?”

  David smirked. “Shall we?”

  Holding hands, they exited the cabin and got in the truck, ready for the long drive home.

  ***

  After being gone from her apartment for a good ten days, Haley needed a serious round of grocery shopping. She’d spent two nights at David’s place and hadn’t had any time to go to the supermarket until now. Plus, she needed to busy herself with something mundane, not to think about how tonight was the night David would tell Scott about their relationship. They’d debated for a long time if they should tell him together, but Haley had suggested David do it alone. They were brothers, and they needed to work out their issues.

  Haley was pushing her cart through the cereal aisle when she spotted a familiar figure a few feet ahead of her. She froze, undecided on what to do, just as Scott turned and their eyes met. The initial look of surprise on his face was quickly replaced by a mix of hurt and contempt. He held her gaze for a few impossibly long seconds. Then, without a single word or nod of acknowledgment, he walked away.

  Well, then.

  “Scott,” she called. “Wait.”

  Haley left her cart behind to run after him. “Are we at the point we can’t even say hello to each other?”

  Scott stopped and turned to face her. “You’re sleeping with my brother. Kind of puts a damper on things.”

  His words, cold with suppressed fury and lined with harsh resentment, were like a slap in her face. “Scott, I’m… how…?”

  “How do I know? Matt told me you spent the night at my old place. I assume it wasn’t to play Scrabble. How convenient for you… all you had to do was switch doors.”

  Matt! They’d crossed paths for ten seconds on New Year’s Day as he was leaving the house to go to Vermont, and neither Haley nor David had imagined he’d tell Scott.

  “Scott, I’m sorry you found out that way. David wanted to be the one to tell you.”

  “Oh! Is that what the ‘we need to talk’ text was about? Well, you can tell him he can save his speech.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Well, so am I.”

  After another withering look, Scott dropped his grocery basket on the floor and stormed out of the supermarket without buying anything.

  ***

  “He’ll come round,” David reassured her later that evening.

  They were in his apartment, cuddling on his bed.

  “I don’t know, David, you should’ve seen his face. I think we really hurt him.”

  “He can survive, believe me. I did it for a year.”

  “It’s different. I was never with you before.”

  “Didn’t change the way I felt about you.”

  “Now you’re just trying to sweet-talk me.”

  “What if I am?” He pushed a lock of hair away from her face. “Would it be so bad? Is it too selfish for me to want to enjoy this moment, just me and you, without worrying about anybody else’s hurt feelings?”

  “A little.”

  “Well, sorry to break it to you, but I’m selfish. I take what I want and do what I want… and right now the only thing I want is this…” He pressed his lips to hers, silencing any further protest she might’ve had.

  Twenty

  Scott

  If nothing else, the discovery of Haley and David’s relationship refocused Scott’s anger on the basketball court. Where his fury had been pointless before, now he channeled his aggressiveness into a single aim: winning. He launched himself into one physical confrontation after another, his fear from the first game long gone. Almost as if now Scott wanted to get hurt.

  The new style soon showed its consequences in an ever-growing number of faults being added to his box score, but also an outstanding tally of successful rebounds and blocked offensive actions. Coach Morrison didn’t appear to mind the change much. As long as Scott kept it under the per-game fault limit, Morrison seemed fine giving him more leeway than his teammates. After all, he was supposed to be the muscle of the team.

  So Scott poured all his efforts into basketball and training until winter recess was over and classes resumed, providing him with the added distraction of homework and his med school pre-application. Best way to keep his mind off things—off people.

  And eventually, day by day, game by game, his heart started to mend. The part of him that had loved Haley, and then hated her, finally leaned toward a non-emotion closer to indifference. If he saw her in a supermarket now, he was sure he’d at least be able to complete his shopping without running away.

  It was in this state of mind that Scott walked into his only literary class of the term, three whole weeks after finding out about Haley and David. He was early, so he took a seat at the almost empty table and waited for the other students and professor to show. He was busy staring into space, thinking about nothing, when someone said, “Hi” and took the chair on his right.

  Madison.

  Scott hadn’t thought about her or what David had hinted at since Christmas, but now that she’d magically appeared next to him, he couldn’t help but wonder…

  “Hey,” he said, looking her straight in the eyes.

  They were big and of the deepest ocean blue.

  She was beautiful, there was no denying it, and today she looked cute with her hair pinned in a messy bun by a yellow pencil, and with her librarian-style, extra-large glasses perched on her nose.

  Madison held his gaze for barely half a second before looking away to take a notepad out of her school bag. A faint blush spread on her cheeks.

  Mmm, interesting, Scott thought.

  “So, how were the holidays?” Madison asked, clearly trying to appear nonchalant but still coming off flustered.

  “My brother slept with my ex. Not my best Christmas.”

  “Oh.” Madison covered her mouth with her hand, then lowered it to say. “I’m so sorry, I wasn’t thinking…”

  “Nah, it doesn’t matter,” Scott reassured her. “I’ve moved on.”

  “Really? How? I mean, good for you.”

  “I realized Haley and I were never a good fit, you know? We had so little in common…”

  Madison stared at her blank notepad for a while, then asked, “So you’re over her?”

  Scott shrugged. “Getting there…”

  “Great.” Madison blushed again. “For you…”

  “Hello, class.” The professor walked in. “Welcome to the advanced fiction-writing workshop. I know we all probably had a long day, and a four-to-seven lecture time is never ideal, but we all have to work with what we’re given… so I’ll keep the introduction brief. I’m Professor Mitchell.” The instructor paused to write her name on the board. “And I’ll be your teacher for the spring term…”

  Everyone started jotting down notes—well, everyone except for Madison, who was frantically searching for something. First, under her notepad, then in her bag, and even on the floor.

  “This course will focus on the structure, execution, and revision of short fiction, with a longer project due for your final assignment…”

  As Professor Mitchell kept going with her introduction, Scott whispered, “What are you looking for?”

  “…throughout the whole term, we will read and discuss literary fiction from a craft perspective, concentrating on revision as well…”

  “My pencil,” Madison whispered back. “I can’t find it.”

  “…the teaching approach will be primarily the discussion of student work…”

  Scott leaned forward on his elbows. “You mean the one in your hair?”

  “…with the aim of improving both writer-ly skills and critical analysis?
??”

  Madison grasped at her messy bun, searching for the pencil. In one fluid motion, she freed it from its knot, sending a cascade of golden locks tumbling down her shoulders. Scott stared, mesmerized. At four in the afternoon, the sun was already setting and a warm orange glow was filtering through the window, hitting Madison’s face with just the right light. Scott took in the halo of blond curls, her big blue eyes, and he also noted new details… like the cute little freckles that dotted her nose and cheeks. He frowned. How had he never noticed how beautiful she was?

  “What’s with the Heathcliff scowl?” Madison asked.

  And she made literary quips, too.

  “…Needless to say, participation is a key element of your final grade,” the professor concluded, looking pointedly in their direction.

  Scott threw Madison a so-busted, let’s-be-model-students-from-now-on stare, and they spent the rest of the class in utter silence unless it was to say something course related.

  ***

  After class, Scott and Madison made their way out of Baker Center together. Even if he’d had a super long day, and practice with the team was scheduled for an ungodly hour the next morning, Scott didn’t feel like going home yet, so he went out on a limb and said, “Hey, you want to grab a bite?”

  He wasn’t sure what he was doing, and he didn’t have a hit-on-Madison agenda. He was going with the flow, following his instincts, which told him being around Madison felt good. Plus, she was so cute when she blushed, just as she was doing now at his invitation. Scott was sure he had dinner in the bag, when she surprised him.

  “Err… I would love to.” Madison looked away, even more uncomfortable. “But I really can’t.”

  “Oh, right,” Scott said. “No, I mean…”

  “It’s not what you think…”

  Scott tilted his head questioningly.

  “This is really embarrassing, but I’m totally broke at the moment.”

  Definitely not the answer Scott had expected.

  “Broke? How?”

  “Actually, it’s all your fault.” Madison smiled. “Remember last summer, when you told me to follow my dreams?”