I Don't Want to Be Friends

  Scott picked up after several rings, his voice sounding all groggy with sleep. “Morning.”

  “Morning?” Haley said jokingly. “It’s almost noon.”

  “Hey, I’m jet-lagged.”

  “You were in California, not Japan.”

  “Still, it’s only barely past breakfast time for me.”

  “Luckily for you, I love brunch. Want to grab a bite together?”

  “Sure.”

  “Should we go out or stay in? I mean… is everything okay over there? Is David okay?”

  “Mmm… I have no idea, I’m still in bed. Hold on. Let me check.”

  Rustling, scuffing noises cracked out of the speaker as he got out of bed. Then the sound of a door opening, footsteps, another door, footsteps again… and, finally, silence.

  “He’s gone,” Scott announced.

  “Gone? Where?”

  “To work? His internship shouldn’t be over yet.”

  Haley had no trouble believing that. From the way his boss had made David slave over work assignments every single weekend for the past two months, it made sense they wouldn’t let him off until the very last day of summer break.

  “Is he going to be okay?”

  “I suppose. He slept all of yesterday and I made him drink two bottles of Gatorade, so he should be fine. Except for that hand, maybe.”

  Haley hoped so. For now, physically “well enough to go to work” was all she wanted to hear about David; she still wasn’t ready to investigate his bruised ego, or worse, broken heart.

  “So what do you want to do for lunch?” she asked. “Should I come over?”

  Haley was already warming up to the idea of an empty house and Scott all to herself, when he said, “Why don’t we do something outside? I’ve spent the last two months locked in a hospital with artificial air and artificial lights. I could use a day outdoors.”

  “You want to go hiking or something?” Haley asked, unconvinced.

  The great outdoors weren’t exactly her thing.

  “How about the beach?”

  “The beach? You’ve turned surfer boy on me. Err… you do realize we’re in Boston, right? Not exactly famous for its beaches.”

  “Come on, who cares? Yesterday I looked up a few spots we can check out. I just want to spend a few hours with you, relaxing in the sun and doing nothing all day. No brothers, no roommates… only me and you.”

  “Well, when you put it like that.” A wide smile spread on Haley’s lips. “Give me half an hour.”

  “Okay, come here when you’re ready. My place is closer, and we have to take the Red Line at Central.”

  “I’ll buzz you when I get there.”

  ***

  The trip to the beach turned out to be longer and sweatier than Haley would’ve liked. It took them about forty-five minutes and one T line change to get to Revere Beach. But nothing could dampen her good mood. Scott was here, they were together, so who cared where they went or what they did?

  As expected, the beach was nothing special—a thin strip of sand just off the road, with nondescript concrete buildings in the background. But at least the ocean was blue, and the place brimmed full of people. The waterfront closer to the road had been fenced off to make space for a sand sculpting competition. Different teams of four to six people buzzed around with various tools, busy building impressive sand structures of sea monsters, buildings, ships, people, and many others. Food trucks lined the back of the fenced area, the smoke drifting up from their grills and permeating the air with the delicious aroma of smoked meat. And off in a corner, at the end of the sculpture display, a band was playing live on a stage.

  Haley and Scott walked by the various sculptures, admiring the works of art and marveling at the level of detail the artists were able to impress on the sand. When they reached the final sculpture, a mermaid sitting in an open shell, they bought a pair of Chicago-style hot dogs and found a spot at the edge of the crowd to settle down on the beach and eat with more privacy.

  “Mmm, so good,” Haley said after her first bite. She eyed the overflowing toppings and sauces incredulously. “I mean, it should be disgusting, but it’s delicious.”

  Scott laughed. “It really should be disgusting.”

  Haley licked her fingertips after finishing the last bite. She watched Scott shove the rest of the hot dog into his mouth and then wipe his hands with a napkin. The early afternoon sun made his hair shine blonder than ever; he’d let it grow over the summer, and now an unruly lock kept falling on his forehead. He pushed it behind his ear, only for it to fall back after a second. His sunglasses were too dark to see his eyes, but his sexy smile more than compensated. It made Haley wish they were alone.

  “What?” he asked, probably sensing her scrutiny.

  “It’s nice, you know? Being here and doing nothing with you. I missed that.”

  “I missed it, too. I’m sorry for the disappearing act. I know I haven’t been the most present boyfriend this summer, not even over the phone…”

  “Stop.” Haley leaned forward. “We already talked about it. Working with the best neurosurgeon in the country was too good an opportunity to pass. You don’t have to feel guilty for going. Plus, it’s all in the past now. Yeah, it’s been a tough two months, but we’re here now. Together. And we don’t need to worry about being apart. We only have to enjoy each other.”

  “I plan to do a lot of enjoying,” Scott joked.

  Haley smirked. “You can start by helping me with the sunscreen.” She fished a bottle of lotion out of her beach bag and handed it to him. “Or I might turn into a lobster.” The skin on her shoulders was already starting to burn.

  She hopped on Scott’s towel and sat in front of him, facing away toward the ocean. Haley pulled her hair up to give him better access, shivering when the lotion landed cold on her back. The shuddering passed as soon as Scott’s warm hands started kneading it into her skin, leaving Haley free to enjoy the gentle massage.

  When Scott stopped, she asked, “Are you sure you got all the spots? UV protection is really important.”

  “UV protection, or getting a free massage?”

  Haley tilted her head over her shoulder to look at him. “Both.”

  “Great, since it’s my turn now.”

  Haley turned completely, kneeling in front of him. “I love you,” she whispered and leaned in to give him a soft peck on the lips. “I’m so happy you came back early.”

  “Me, too.”

  He hooked his hands on her hips and pulled her closer for a more thorough kiss. Mmm… if only summer could last a little longer…

  ***

  Later that night, they stopped outside Scott’s building to say goodbye.

  “Don’t go,” he pleaded, holding her hands.

  “I’m full of sand and I need a shower.”

  “You can shower here.”

  “But I don’t have any clean clothes.”

  “So borrow something from me. You steal my clothes all the time, anyway.”

  Haley was about to give in when an ominous thought popped into her head. “Is David home?”

  The other Williams brother had remained safely out of her mind all day, making her forget all about the hard conversation she needed to have with him, and the subsequent unavoidable hurt feelings. But now the sudden, real prospect of bumping into him was just too upsetting. Today had been perfect, and Haley wanted to remember it like that. No drama. No fights.

  Scott gazed at the parking lot across the street. “His truck isn’t here. He must be gone.”

  Well… if David wasn’t at home…

  “Okay,” Haley agreed with a bright smile.

  Inside Scott’s house, they showered together and Haley borrowed one of his T-shirts to put on afterward. On her, it basically looked like a mini-dress. As underwear, she used a spare bikini and left her feet bare; no risk of catching a cold. They ordered a pepperoni pizza for dinner, watched a movie, and wen
t to bed early, both tired after a long day at the beach. If she had to relive only one day for all of eternity, this would be the one she chose. As Haley fell asleep cuddled in Scott’s arms, the notion that David had not yet come home briefly crossed her mind, only to be dismissed at once. Nothing had spoiled the best day of summer so far, and she wouldn’t let anything ruin it now.

  When she batted her eyes open next, daylight already filtered through the blinds. Her throat felt like dry earth left cracking under the sun. The pepperoni pizza had been super salty.

  Without paying much attention to where she was or what she was wearing, Haley, still half asleep, lifted the arm Scott had wrapped over her chest and wriggled off the bed to go grab a glass of water.

  She was heading for the fridge when a voice startled her.

  “Good morning, Sunshine.”

  David’s voice.

  Clad in a dark suit, he sat at the kitchen bar eating cereal out of a bowl. His spoon-wielding hand was wrapped in white gauze and caught Haley’s attention for a second before she lifted her gaze to meet his icy blue stare. He’d stopped eating and was eyeing her with an unreadable expression. Anger? Hurt? Scorn? All three?

  Whatever emotion his face showed, the use of the wrong nickname hit Haley like a slap, jerking her fully awake at once. He hadn’t called her Sunshine in months, and, okay, she’d already guessed he wouldn’t be calling her Miss Robot anymore, not with Scott back, but she’d hoped they could’ve settled on a neutral ‘Haley.’

  Apparently not.

  “David. Hi.”

  He gave her one last appraising look, then sneered. “I have to say… your taste in jewelry is much better than your taste in clothes.”

  Embarrassed by the comment, Haley lowered her gaze to the hem of the long T-shirt—Scott’s T-shirt—she was wearing, which reached just above her knees. On reflex, she closed one hand around the pendant dangling from her neck. David’s birthday present to her. Since he’d given it to her two weeks ago, she hadn’t taken it off once.

  “Don’t be like that,” she pleaded.

  His eyes flashed. “Be like what? I merely criticized your fashion sense, or lack of thereof—”

  “It’s not that, David, and you know it. You’re back to acting like a dick for no reason. We’ve gotten along all summer. Why can’t you—”

  “Things change,” he interrupted.

  “Nothing has changed. Scott is back, like you knew he would always be, and we’re together. No news there.”

  “Sorry I’m ruining your reunion honeymoon with my bad mood.”

  “Stop the jerk act… This is not the real you.”

  “No? Why?” He dropped the bowl and spoon down on the counter and walked toward her. “Because I was nice to you a couple of times? Who said that wasn’t the act? I’m only making it easier for you, Sunshine. Am I not?”

  Such venom spilled from his words that tears welled in Haley’s eyes. “Don’t do this, David, don’t be like this. I thought we could be friends?”

  “Friends?” David let out a bitter, mocking laugh. “No, Haley, sorry… I can’t be your friend.”

  “So what was this summer for you? A joke?”

  “I’d call it more a mistake.”

  “Why?”

  “I can’t be in your life, not as a friend.” David pointed at Scott’s half-open door. “With him gone, I could pretend… hope… fool myself. But now… now, it’s too damn hard.”

  “But David—”

  “Why? Why would you even want to be my friend?”

  “Because I care about you.”

  “Well, Haley, my feelings run a bit deeper, so you see how that might be a problem…”

  “So you’d rather cut me off completely.”

  “Don’t you understand?” Eyes flaring, he took another step toward her. “I can’t see you with him. It kills me to know you’re here, just one step away, but a whole universe apart. I don’t want to hear your voice coming from under his door at night, or talk to you the next morning.” He gave the T-shirt another seething glare. “Right now I can’t even stand to look at you wearing his clothes… and I sure as hell don’t want to be your friend.”

  Haley swallowed, lips trembling. “If that’s how you feel. Do what’s best for you.”

  “I will. I’m not the one with a problem admitting my real feelings.”

  Still glowering, David turned on his heel and marched out of the apartment, slamming the door shut behind him. Haley stood still, alone in the middle of the living room. She was breathing heavily, more shaken than she’d like to admit, and with a tightening in her chest that was hard to ignore.

  It’s better this way, her rational self tried to console her. You can’t have your cake and eat it, too.

  It wasn’t fair to ask David to be her friend when he was in love with her. To stand by while she continued on her merry relationship with his brother. No, it wasn’t fair. But the prospect of David being a stranger did nothing to lift Haley’s mood.

  And this mess was all his fault, anyway. He was the one having a sudden change of heart, after going above and beyond to become her friend over the summer. He had made her see his good, kind side, his devil-may-care personality… a taste of freedom. And now he couldn’t just take it back. Nothing had changed; Scott had always been in the picture. David had always known… even when we pretended it was just the two of us…

  With shaking hands, Haley grabbed a glass from the cabinet and filled it under the tap. The long, full gulps she swallowed did nothing to help her heartbeat slow down to normal. Seeing David so hurt had crushed her. Or maybe she was hurting, too, at the unwelcome awareness of having lost him for good.

  Whatever the reason for the smoldering pain in her chest, one thing was clear: yesterday’s carefree mood was already a distant memory. It seemed like whenever she and Scott saw each other—no matter where, her house, his house, wherever—someone got hurt. And the constant guilt kept on wearing Haley down.

  Before going back into Scott’s room, she made a quick dash into the bathroom to splash a handful of cold water on her face, hoping to clear the clouds around her mind. But as she climbed back into bed next to her boyfriend, she was still unsettled. Thank goodness he still slept like a baby. If he’d heard even a snippet of her conversation with David…

  How could I ever explain it to you?

  As she lay in bed, staring at the ceiling and seeing only a pair of wounded blue eyes staring right back, Haley’s phone vibrated on the nightstand. She picked it up, finding a series of texts from Alice.

  Hey, where are you?

  Are you coming home?

  Madison and I are going to the mall to look for a new bikini later

  For Saturday’s party at Blake’s house

  (You and Scott are coming, right?)

  Anyway…

  We leave at 3

  Haley stared at the screen for a few seconds. What better distraction than a trip to the mall and an afternoon of mind-numbing shopping with her best friends?

  Count me in

  At Scott’s right now

  Will be home before 3

  She put the phone back on the bedside table and snuggled in closer to Scott. She kissed his cheek while he still slept, dropping her head on his chest afterward and closing her eyes.

  Will it always be so hard?

  Four

  Haley

  “Black or white?” Madison asked, holding up two identical bikinis, save for the color.

  “Isn’t the white one transparent?” Haley asked.

  Madison stretched her hand inside the fabric to check if it was see-through. “Doesn’t seem so.”

  “What about when it’s wet?”

  “Oh.” Madison’s face fell. “You’re right.”

  She put both hangers back in place.

  “How about a print?” Alice suggested, pulling out a gorgeous top. Asymmetrical, ruffled, with a trim made of mini pompoms. The
fabric was in a pale pink shade with a budding flowers print.

  “Wow.” Madison’s eyes widened; the boho-chic in her clearly couldn’t resist. “This one’s amazing. I’ll try it on. Does it have a bottom, too?”

  “Here.” Alice handed her both pieces.

  “You two pick one and join me in the fitting rooms. I want your opinion before I decide.”

  “Yes, boss,” Alice joked. “You go ahead, we’ll be right there.”

  Alice waited a while after Madison was gone before she spoke again. “See something you like?”

  “I’m going with black,” Haley stated.

  “Like your mood?”

  Haley’s head snapped toward her friend.

  “Yeah, it’s that obvious,” Alice confirmed. She took the top Haley had in her hands and switched it for another one. “If you have to go with black, at least try for an interesting shape.”

  The new top Alice had given her was a faux-wrap, cold-shoulder bikini top. Not exactly Haley’s style, but what the hell. She already had a ton of plain, monochromatic black swimsuits, so if she had to spend the money she might as well mix things up a little.

  “You make me live dangerously,” Haley joked, selecting a pair of slips to match the top.

  “And are you really making me ask?”

  “Ask what?”

  “The reason for the black mood.”

  Haley winced. “I saw David this morning. I walked into him coming out of Scott’s room while wearing only one of his brother’s T-shirts. He…”

  “Was a douche?”

  “He tried, but he really couldn’t keep it up. In the end, I think he was just hurt.”

  Alice sighed. “At least now he can move on.”

  “Yeah, but it’s never nice to cause someone pain.”

  “I know.” Hands full of bikinis, Alice gave her a quick hug. Then, pulling back, she asked, “Nude or navy?”

  Haley was glad Alice wasn’t pressing the David topic; the less she thought about him, the better. She pointed to the nude halter bikini top with a high crochet neck. “When Jack sees you wearing that, he’s going to pass out.”