The Man Who Would Be King
A man dragged from his blankets half awake and unfed is never in a pleasant frame of mind. Nor does his happiness increase when he watches the whites of the eyes of three hundred six-foot fiends upon whose beards the foam is lying, upon whose tongues is a roar of wrath, and in whose hands are yard-long knives.
The Fore and Fit heard the Gurkha bugles bringing that regiment forward at the double, while the neighing of the Highland pipes came from the left. They strove to stay where they were, though the bayonets wavered down the line like the oars of a ragged boat. Then they felt body to body the amazing physical strength of their foes; a shriek of pain ended the rush, and the knives fell amid scenes not to be told. The men clubbed together and smote blindly – as often as not at their own fellows. Their front crumpled like paper, and the fifty Ghazis passed on; their backers, now drunk with success, fighting as madly as they.
Then the rear ranks were bidden to close up, and the subalterns dashed into the stew – alone. For the rear ranks had heard the clamour in front, the yells and the howls of pain, and had seen the dark stale blood that makes afraid. They were not going to stay. It was the rushing of the camps over again. Let their officers go to Hell, if they chose; they would get away from the knives.
‘Come on!’ shrieked the subalterns, and their men, cursing them, drew back, each closing into his neighbour and wheeling round.
Charteris and Devlin, subalterns of the last company, faced their death alone in the belief that their men would follow.
‘You’ve killed me, you cowards,’ sobbed Devlin and dropped, cut from the shoulder-strap to the centre of the chest, and a fresh detachment of his men retreating, always retreating, trampled him under foot as they made for the pass whence they had emerged …
‘I kissed her in the kitchen and I kissed her in the hall.
Child’un, child’un, follow me!
“Oh, Golly,” said the cook, “is he gwine to kiss us all?”
Halla – Halla – Halla – Hallelujah!’
The Gurkhas were pouring through the left gorge and over the heights at the double to the invitation of their Regimental Quick-step. The black rocks were crowned with dark green spiders as the bugles gave tongue jubilantly:
‘In the morning! In the morning by the bright light!
When Gabriel blows his trumpet in the morning!’
The Gurkha rear companies tripped and blundered over loose stones. The front files halted for a moment to take stock of the valley and to settle stray bootlaces. Then a happy little sigh of contentment soughed down the ranks, and it was as though the land smiled, for behold there below were the enemy, and it was to meet them that the Gurkhas had doubled so hastily. There was much enemy. There would be amusement. The little men hitched their kukris39 well to hand, and gaped expectantly at their officers as terriers grin ere the stone is cast for them to fetch. The Gurkhas’ ground sloped downward to the valley, and they enjoyed a fair view of the proceedings. They sat upon the boulders to watch, for their officers were not going to waste their wind in assisting to repulse a Ghazi rush more than half a mile away. Let the white men look to their own front.
‘Hi! yi!’ said the Subadar-Major,40 who was sweating profusely. ‘Dam’ fools yonder, stand close-order! This is no time for close order, it is the time for volleys. Ugh!’
Horrified, amused, and indignant, the Gurkhas beheld the retirement of the Fore and Fit with a running chorus of oaths and commentaries.
‘They run! The white men run! Colonel Sahib, may we also do a little running?’ murmured Runbir Thappa, the Senior Jemadar.41
But the Colonel would have none of it. ‘Let the beggars be cut up a little,’ said he wrathfully. ‘Serves ’em right. They’ll be prodded into facing round in a minute.’ He looked through his field-glasses, and caught the glint of an officer’s sword.
‘Beating ’em with the flat – damned conscripts! How the Ghazis are walking into them!’ said he.
The Fore and Fit, heading back, bore with them their officers. The narrowness of the pass forced the mob into solid formation, and the rear rank delivered some sort of a wavering volley. The Ghazis drew off, for they did not know what reserves the gorge might hide. Moreover, it was never wise to chase white men too far. They returned as wolves return to cover, satisfied with the slaughter that they had done, and only stopping to slash at the wounded on the ground. A quarter of a mile had the Fore and Fit retreated, and now, jammed in the pass, were quivering with pain, shaken and demoralised with fear, while the officers, maddened beyond control, smote the men with the hilts and the flats of their swords.
‘Get back! Get back, you cowards – you women! Right about face – column of companies, form – you hounds!’ shouted the Colonel, and the subalterns swore aloud. But the Regiment wanted to go – to get anywhere out of the range of those merciless knives. It swayed to and fro irresolutely with shouts and outcries, while from the right the Gurkhas dropped volley after volley of cripple-stopper Snider bullets42 at long range into the mob of the Ghazis returning to their own troops.
The Fore and Fit Band, though protected from direct fire by the rocky knoll under which it had sat down, fled at the first rush. Jakin and Lew would have fled also, but their short legs left them fifty yards in the rear, and by the time the Band had mixed with the Regiment, they were painfully aware that they would have to close in alone and unsupported.
‘Get back to that rock,’ gasped Jakin. ‘They won’t see us there.’
And they returned to the scattered instruments of the Band, their hearts nearly bursting their ribs.
‘Here’s a nice show for us,’ said Jakin, throwing himself full length on the ground. ‘A bloomin’ fine show for British Infantry! Oh, the devils! They’ve gone an’ left us alone here! Wot’ll we do?’
Lew took possession of a cast-off water-bottle, which naturally was full of canteen rum, and drank till he coughed again.
‘Drink,’ said he shortly. ‘They’ll come back in a minute or two – you see.’
Jakin drank, but there was no sign of the Regiment’s return. They could hear a dull clamour from the head of the valley of retreat, and saw the Ghazis slink back, quickening their pace as the Gurkhas fired at them.
‘We’re all that’s left of the Band, an’ we’ll be cut up as sure as death,’ said Jakin.
‘I’ll die game, then,’ said Lew thickly, fumbling with his tiny drummer’s sword. The drink was working on his brain as it was on Jakin’s.
‘’Old on! I know somethin’ better than fightin’,’ said Jakin, ‘stung by the splendour of a sudden thought’43 due chiefly to rum. ‘Tip our bloomin’ cowards yonder the word to come back. The Paythan beggars are well away. Come on, Lew! We won’t get ’urt. Take the fife44 an’ give me the drum. The Old Step for all your bloomin’ guts are worth! There’s a few of our men comin’ back now. Stand up, ye drunken little defaulter. By your right – quick march!’
He slipped the drum-sling over his shoulder, thrust the fife into Lew’s hand, and the two boys marched out of the cover of the rock into the open, making a hideous hash of the first bars of the ‘British Grenadiers’.45
As Lew had said, a few of the Fore and Fit were coming back sullenly and shamefacedly under the stimulus of blows and abuse. Their red coats shone at the head of the valley, and behind them were wavering bayonets. But between this shattered line and the enemy, who with Afghan suspicion feared that the hasty retreat meant an ambush, and had not moved therefore, lay half a mile of level ground dotted only with the wounded.
The tune settled into full swing and the boys kept shoulder to shoulder, Jakin banging the drum as one possessed. The one fife made a thin and pitiful squeaking, but the tune carried far, even to the Gurkhas.
‘Come on, you dorgs!’ muttered Jakin to himself. ‘Are we to play for hever?’ Lew was staring straight in front of him and marching more stiffly than ever he had done on parade.
And in bitter mockery of the distant mob, the old tune of the Old Line shrilled and rattled:
‘Some talk of Alexander,
And some of Hercules;
Of Hector and Lysander,
And such great names as these!’
There was a far-off clapping of hands from the Gurkhas, and a roar from the Highlanders in the distance, but never a shot was fired by British or Afghan. The two little red dots moved forward in the open parallel to the enemy’s front.
‘But of all the world’s great heroes
There’s none that can compare,
With a tow-row-row-row-row-row,
To the British Grenadier!’
The men of the Fore and Fit were gathering thick at the entrance to the plain. The Brigadier on the heights far above was speechless with rage. Still no movement from the enemy. The day stayed to watch the children.
Jakin halted and beat the long roll of the Assembly, while the fife squealed despairingly.
‘Right about face! Hold up, Lew, you’re drunk,’ said Jakin. They wheeled and marched back:
‘Those heroes of antiquity
Ne’er saw a cannon-ball,
Nor knew the force o’ powder’
‘Here they come!’ said Jakin. ‘Go on, Lew’:
‘To scare their foes withal!’
The Fore and Fit were pouring out of the valley. What officers had said to men in that time of shame and humiliation will never be known; for neither officers nor men speak of it now.
‘They are coming anew!’ shouted a priest among the Afghans. ‘Do not kill the boys! Take them alive, and they shall be of our faith.’
But the first volley had been fired, and Lew dropped on his face. Jakin stood for a minute, spun round and collapsed, as the Fore and Fit came forward, the curses of their officers in their ears, and in their hearts the shame of open shame.
Half the men had seen the drummers die, and they made no sign. They did not even shout. They doubled out straight across the plain in open order, and they did not fire.
‘This,’ said the Colonel of Gurkhas softly, ‘is the real attack, as it should have been delivered. Come on, my children.’
‘Ulu-lu-lu-lu!’ squealed the Gurkhas, and came down with a joyful clicking of kukris – the vicious Gurkha knives.
On the right there was no rush. The Highlanders, cannily commending their souls to God (for it matters as much to a dead man whether he has been shot in a Border scuffle or at Waterloo), opened out and fired according to their custom, that is to say, without heat and without intervals, while the screw-guns, having disposed of the impertinent mud fort aforementioned, dropped shell after shell into the clusters round the flickering green standards on the heights.
‘Charrging is an unfortunate necessity,’ murmured the Colour-Sergeant of the right company of the Highlanders. ‘It makes the men sweer so – but I am thinkin’ that it will come to a charrge if these black devils stand much longer. Stewarrt, man, you’re firing into the eye of the sun, and he’ll not take any harm for Government ammuneetion. A foot lower and a great deal slower! What are the English doing? They’re very quiet there in the centre. Running again?’
The English were not running. They were hacking and hewing and stabbing, for though one white man is seldom physically a match for an Afghan in a sheepskin or wadded coat, yet, through the pressure of many white men behind, and a certain thirst for revenge in his heart, he becomes capable of doing much with both ends of his rifle. The Fore and Fit held their fire till one bullet could drive through five or six men, and the front of the Afghan force gave on the volley. They then selected their men, and slew them with deep gasps, and short hacking coughs, and groanings of leather belts against strained bodies, and realised for the first time that an Afghan attacked is far less formidable than an Afghan attacking: which fact old soldiers might have told them.
But they had no old soldiers in their ranks.
The Gurkhas’ stall at the bazar was the noisiest, for the men were engaged – to a nasty noise as of beef being cut on the block – with the kukri, which they preferred to the bayonet; well knowing how the Afghan hates the half-moon blade.
As the Afghans wavered, the green standards on the mountain moved down to assist them in a last rally. This was unwise. The Lancers chafing in the right gorge had thrice despatched their only subaltern as galloper to report on the progress of affairs. On the third occasion he returned, with a bullet-graze on his knee, swearing strange oaths in Hindustani, and saying that all things were ready. So that squadron swung round the right of the Highlanders with a wicked whistling of wind in the pennons of its lances, and fell upon the remnant just when, according to all the rules of war, it should have waited for the foe to show more signs of wavering.
But it was a dainty charge, deftly delivered, and it ended by the Cavalry finding itself at the head of the pass by which the Afghans intended to retreat; and down the track that the lances had made streamed two companies of the Highlanders, which was never intended by the Brigadier. The new development was successful. It detached the enemy from his base as a sponge is torn from a rock, and left him ringed about with fire in that pitiless plain. And as a sponge is chased round the bath-tub by the hand of the bather, so were the Afghans chased till they broke into little detachments much more difficult to dispose of than large masses.
‘See!’ quoth the Brigadier. ‘Everything has come as I arranged. We’ve cut their base, and now we’ll bucket ’em to pieces.’
A direct hammering was all that the Brigadier had dared to hope for, considering the size of the force at his disposal; but men who stand or fall by the errors of their opponents may be forgiven for turning Chance into Design. The bucketing went forward merrily. The Afghan forces were upon the run – the run of wearied wolves who snarl and bite over their shoulders. The red lances dipped by twos and threes, and, with a shriek, up rose the lance-butt, like a spar on a stormy sea, as the trooper cantering forward cleared his point. The Lancers kept between their prey and the steep hills, for all who could were trying to escape from the valley of death. The Highlanders gave the fugitives two hundred yards’ law, and then brought them down, gasping and choking, ere they could reach the protection of the boulders above. The Gurkhas followed suit; but the Fore and Fit were killing on their own account, for they had penned a mass of men between their bayonets and a wall of rock, and the flash of the rifles was lighting the wadded coats.
‘We cannot hold them, Captain Sahib!’ panted a Rissaldar46 of Lancers. ‘Let us try the carbine.47 The lance is good, but it wastes time.’
They tried the carbine, and still the enemy melted away – fled up the hills by hundreds when there were only twenty bullets to stop them. On the heights the screw-guns ceased firing – they had run out of ammunition – and the Brigadier groaned, for the musketry fire could not sufficiently smash the retreat. Long before the last volleys were fired the doolies48 were out in force looking for the wounded. The battle was over, and, but for want of fresh troops, the Afghans would have been wiped off the earth. As it was they counted their dead by hundreds, and nowhere were the dead thicker than in the track of the Fore and Fit.
But the Regiment did not cheer with the Highlanders, nor did they dance uncouth dances with the Gurkhas among the dead. They looked under their brows at the Colonel as they leaned upon their rifles and panted.
‘Get back to camp, you! Haven’t you disgraced yourselves enough for one day? Go and look to the wounded. It’s all you’re fit for,’ said the Colonel. Yet for the past hour the Fore and Fit had been doing all that mortal commander could expect. They had lost heavily because they did not know how to set about their business with proper skill, but they had borne themselves gallantly, and this was their reward.
A young and sprightly Colour-Sergeant, who had begun to imagine himself a hero, offered his water-bottle to a Highlander, whose tongue was black with thirst. ‘I drink with no cowards,’ answered the youngster huskily, and, turning to a Gurkha, said, ‘Hya, Johnny! Drink water got it?’ The Gurkha grinned and passed his bottle. The Fore and Fit said
no word.
They went back to camp when the field of strife had been a little mopped up and made presentable, and the Brigadier, who saw himself a Knight in three months, was the only soul who was complimentary to them. The Colonel was heartbroken, and the officers were savage and sullen.
‘Well,’ said the Brigadier, ‘they are young troops, of course, and it was not unnatural that they should retire in disorder for a bit.’
‘Oh, my only Aunt Maria!’ murmured a junior Staff Officer. ‘Retire in disorder! It was a bally run!’
‘But they came again, as we all know,’ cooed the Brigadier, the Colonel’s ashy-white face before him, ‘and they behaved as well as could possibly be expected. Behaved beautifully, indeed. I was watching them. It isn’t a matter to take to heart, Colonel. As some German General said of his men, they wanted to be shooted over a little, that was all.’ To himself he said – ‘Now they’re blooded49 I can give ’em responsible work. It’s as well that they got what they did. Teach’em more than any amount of rifle flirtations, that will – later – run alone and bite. Poor old Colonel, though!’
All that afternoon the heliograph winked and flickered on the hills, striving to tell the good news to a mountain forty miles away. And in the evening there arrived, dusty, sweating, and sore, a misguided Correspondent who had gone out to assist at a trumpery village-burning, and who had read off the message from afar, cursing his luck the while.
‘Let’s have the details somehow – as full as ever you can, please. It’s the first time I’ve ever been left this campaign,’ said the Correspondent to the Brigadier, and the Brigadier, nothing loath, told him how an Army of Communication had been crumpled up, destroyed, and all but annihilated by the craft, strategy, wisdom, and foresight of the Brigadier.
But some say, and among these be the Gurkhas who watched on the hillside, that that battle was won by Jakin and Lew, whose little bodies were borne up just in time to fit two gaps at the head of the big ditch-grave for the dead under the heights of Jagai.