Flawless//Broken

  “Are you alright?” She asks. Rose nods, then motions to the man.

  “I’m fine, but Mr. Cunningham is dead.”

  “What happened?” The ponytail woman looks to me. Lake walks over.

  “Seriously, sweetcheeks. You okay?”

  “He was -” I swallow hard, guilt welling up in my throat. “He was -”

  “Mutus,” A familiar voice says. I look up, and the Reapers look behind them as Darius walks down the hall. His amber eyes glance down at the man, then up at Rose, ignoring me completely. “Harris Cunningham is a member of the Mutus.”

  “That’s ridiculous!” Rose sneers. “Mr. Cunningham is integral to Silveria’s labs, he’s the head technician. He hates the Mutus. He’s been nothing but loyal -”

  “In order to feed information to the Mutus,” Darius interrupts. “He’s acted as a loyal employee of your company to draw away suspicion.”

  “Can you be sure?” The ponytail Reaper asks. “He’s not on our list of suspected double agents.”

  Darius kneels next to the body. He presses on the abdomen, Rose bristling beside him.

  “Get your filthy hands off him!”

  Darius’s placid expression doesn’t change. He stands, looking to the Reapers. “You’ll find a kidney missing.”

  The Reaper woman narrows her eyes at the body. Rose goes white. Lake leans in and murmurs in my ear.

  “The Mutus sacrifice vital organs to make Munkies. Kidney’s the most common, since humans have two.”

  Rose points at me. “That doesn’t change the fact she killed a fellow alchemist. There’s no way she could have known he was a Mutus! That necklace of hers - you made it, didn’t you Darius? You armed her with a hugely dangerous weapon! You’re at fault, here!”

  “My friend was kidnapped,” I set my chin. “By the Mutus. Lake and I went to save her. Cunningham was one of the men. I saw him.”

  Rose’s eyes bug out. “You were near the Mutus?” She pivots and points at Darius. “You let them near her? How dare you put her in danger! Our Azoth - our most important Azoth -”

  “It was me,” Lake interrupts. “It was me, okay? Darius hired me to watch her, and I fucked up. If you’re going to blame anyone, blame me.”

  The Reaper woman looks to him, and smiles wryly. “It wasn’t your best work, true. But it certainly wasn’t your fault, Lake.”

  “I agree,” Darius says coldly. “I didn’t hire you to take blame meant for me.”

  “So it was you!” Rose snaps.

  Lake balls his fists. “Cut it out, you old hag. Quit picking on him!”

  “Stay out of this.” Darius snarls at Lake. I take a breath, calming the last of my nerves.

  “This is ridiculous,” I shout. “I don’t know how all of this stuff works, but you’re all acting like immature brats!”

  The room goes quiet, Rose and Lake’s eyes going wide. Darius looks at me, startled out of his cold mask.

  “Instead of blaming each other, blame the one who did it. Me. I killed him. So whatever punishment you have, give it to me. I - I did it. I killed a man, whether or not he was Mutus.”

  Lake looks embarrassed. Rose looks furious, but knits her lips shut. Darius’s gaze burns into my cheek, but I can’t look at him. Finally, the ponytail Reaper is the first to break the silence with a laugh, of all things.

  “And here I was, thinking you were a timid little thing.” She smiles at me. “Good to meet someone who takes responsibility around here - these alchemists love pushing it onto other people. You’re the exception of course, Darius. But begging for a punishment for every little thing gone wrong isn’t the right way to go about it, either.”

  Darius looks at her coolly, and she smiles back before turning to Rose.

  “We’ll have the body brought back to HQ. If our guys find a missing organ, we’ll order a full test. We’ll check for residual Azoth and reverse-engineer an internal homunculus proximity strand. That’ll do the proving for all of us.”

  Rose exhales loudly. “Fine. He’s yours. But I want the full report forwarded to me the moment you have it.”

  The ponytail Reaper bows. “Of course.”

  Rose shoots one last look at me. “You’ve ruined the party, young lady. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to attend to the rest of your interested buyers and try to salvage some good from this situation.”

  “You will check and double check,” Darius says firmly. “That none of the other buyers are Mutus.”

  “Of course,” She snaps. “What do you take me for, an idiot?”

  She storms down the hall, and Lake shoots me a sheepish smile before hovering around the body with the other Reapers. The ponytail Reaper walks up to me.

  “Mia Redfield, was it? I’m Cynthia Darren, Captain of the Reapers. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

  I shake her extended hand. “Nice to meet you, too.”

  Darius lingers and watches our interaction, his gaze jittering my nerves. Cynthia motions to the body.

  “Since we don’t know if he’s Mutus for sure, I have to place you under house arrest. No leaving the city. You are a person of interest. If it turns out he isn’t, we have to charge you with murder.”

  “I…” I hang my head. “I understand.”

  “Good.” She smiles. Nothing about her is intimidating, but beneath her square jaw and gentle brown eyes is a thread of strength - taut and hard as a steel wire. She’s nothing like the regular police. “So, for now, we’ll have Lake keep doing what he’s doing - keeping an eye on you. Thanks for putting up with him, by the way. He’s a good kid. Dumb, but good.”

  “I heard that!” Lake calls over his shoulder.

  “Get back to work!” Cynthia orders jokingly. Their nonchalance about a dead Mutus is shocking, but I suppose you get used to it after killing so many of them yourself. She looks to Darius, and jerks her head at my necklace. “Gonna have to have a few words with you about making that thing, later. Sorry. It’s procedure.”

  Darius nods. “That’s fair.”

  She flashes a quick smile at him, then at me. Her eyes glance on my scar, but only briefly. She has the decency to look away quick.

  “You be careful with that necklace, okay kiddo?”

  “I will. I promise.”

  She seems satisfied with my answer, and walks to her Reapers crouched around the body, rattling off orders. The longer I look at the body the harder my hands shake. I have to get out of here. Darius’s gaze is only making things worse. I get as far as the hall before I feel a warm hand close around my wrist. I whirl around to face Darius.

  “Where are you going?” He asks, voice low.

  “S-Somewhere, anywhere,” I manage. “Anywhere without a body, alive or dead. Let me go.”

  “You killed a man.”

  “I didn’t mean to - I didn’t - please, just let me go!”

  “He brought you to Oliver. Lake told me. He brought you to Oliver, and Oliver hurt you. That man hurt you, and has hurt many others by serving Oliver. He deserved to die.”

  “No one deserves to -”

  “There are people,” Darius interrupts, voice steely and yet gentler than velvet. “Who do things that make them inhuman. They are cruel, and they will never stop being cruel. They are the monsters of men. They deserve to die.”

  “You’re wrong. I think people can change. All of them.” I say, blinking the tears back furiously. “I robbed him of his chance to change. And that’s the greatest crime of all.”

  “So, what then?” Darius’s face turns dark, angry. “You’re going to live with the guilt? Guilt that isn’t yours to hold?”

  “Yes.” My voice is small. “It’s the least I can do.”

  “It will ruin your life,” He snarls.

  “It already has.”

  His handsome face goes slack. I whirl around and keep walking, fighting off a wave of crying. How can I tell him I’m used to this guilt, already?

  How can I tell him this isn’t my first time?

  I can’
t. I can’t tell anyone. Not even him.

  I take the necklace off and put it in my purse. I’d rather the Mutus get me than kill another person ever again.

  The ballroom is swarming with the same people, but they look at me differently, now. Rose is trying to quell the rumors, but I can see by the fear in people’s eyes that the truth has already spread. I killed someone. And not just someone - a potential buyer of my Azoth. I straighten my shoulders and walk through the crowd with my head high. The tears threaten, but don’t spill. I won’t break down. Not in front of these people.

  The showing doesn’t last long after that; I effectively killed the festive vibe. Alchemists and Azoth and Reapers start leaving in small groups, going back to their respective homes no doubt. Zhen comes up and asks if I’m alright, and I say I am. But it’s a hollow assurance. For some reason, she’s smiling at me.

  “Something funny?” I ask. Zhen grins and nods at a frantic Rose scuttling from group to haughty group, blathering reassurances that everything’s fine.

  “You showed them,” she says softly. “You showed them you are not an Azoth they can push around. Look at them. They look at you with fear in their eyes. Even I can see that.”

  She’s right. I look around, and a heavy weight settles on my shoulders.

  For once, I am not afraid of people. It’s the people who are afraid of me.

  Darius is nowhere to be seen, and Lake slips from the crowd shortly after and offers to escort me home. I want that more than anything. Ellie is fast asleep by the time I come home. I throw off my dress and shoes, and curl up in bed. But my hands are still shaking. And the memory of the man’s body brings back only horrible nightmares.

  ***

  The door is no match for my anger.

  It flies open, the mahogany slamming so hard against the wall the ground shakes. My fury blinds me to Reeves, bowing and asking for my coat. I stride straight to the library and stab a dagger into the globe, tilting it aggressively to the perfect direction. The bookshelf slides open, and the second I’m through the double stone doors of my lab I wheel them shut as well. I lean against the cool granite and slow my breathing.

  I haven’t felt this alive in decades. Every nerve in me is alight, begging for more sensation, more stimulation. I am on fire - I am a fire crying out to be quenched, fueled higher by the water like it’s oil. Anger, desire, jealousy - it pumps through my veins as a heady amalgamation of all the things I thought myself incapable of feeling. Mia is the source of it all - my firebird. I want more. I need more.

  An image of Mia’s grief-stricken, pale face flashes through my head. No - I need to calm down. She killed a Mutus tonight. Add this on top of her guilt for getting the homeless man killed, and I’m surprised she didn’t break down at the showing. She’s strong - stronger than I gave her credit for.

  Or maybe she’s gotten used to death.

  I shudder at the thought - Mia, used to killing. Used to seeing people die in front of her. What pain has my world brought her? Great pain, and only more pain. There is so little happiness in her life, thanks to my world. She came to San Francisco to escape her old life, to make a better life, and I’ve only ruined that. Since that moment at the club when we locked eyes across the crowd, I’ve only served to destroy what goodness she was trying to rebuild. Who am I to desire a woman I’m slowly destroying? Amelie was the same - my affections killed her. My longing for Mia is only hurting her, chipping away at her very being.

  I slam a beaker on the table and fill it with mercury. I have to destroy the Mutus. I’ve long strategized of a hundred ways to do it, but that day the homunculi attacked my mansion gave me an idea. A much better idea. I bring out my cell phone, enhanced with prima materia receivers so it can work even underground, and call Rothschild.

  “Darius?” He answers sleepily. “What’s the occasion?”

  “I know I have not contacted you much before this,” I say. “Nor have I asked for favors. But I’m doing both, right now.”

  “Consider me intrigued,” I hear him rustle blankets as he sits up. A woman moans to his side.

  “Busy, were we?” I ask.

  “You know me,” I can hear the smirk in Vox’s voice. “I always keep my appointments. And god are there a lot of appointments.” He turns the phone from his mouth, but I can still hear him. “Do you mind leaving? An important call just came up.”

  The disgruntled sounds of a woman huffing and getting dressed resound. Vox turns the phone back to his mouth.

  “So, what do you need?”

  “I’m going to build something,” I say carefully. “And I need you to ensure certain things happen in order for the machine to work.”

  “Like what?”

  “I need you to plant amplifiers by every Reaper portal in San Francisco.”

  Vox sucks in a breath. “Christ, Darius. Every portal? Just what the hell are you planning?”

  “In addition, I’ll need you to look after Ava, Reeves, and the house. I’m contacting my lawyers in the morning and naming you the successor of my estate.”

  Vox goes quiet. I can practically hear him putting the pieces together.

  “Darius, you can’t be serious -”

  “I will be buying a pint of blood from whichever alchemist gets the honor of housing Mia. With that much of her blood, I’ll be able to create the device. With the amplifiers, the effects of the device will theoretically bleed through the portals and into every corner of the world, to every alchemist’s house with an expander. It will act like a satellite system, bouncing the effect from point A to point B, and so on. Provided I harmonize the wavelengths properly, of course.”

  “You’re -” Vox swallows hard. “You’re going to make a massive Pointblank.”

  I nod and mix iodine into the mercury solution slowly. “Large enough to wipe every homunculus off the face of the planet. I’ve had a similar idea before, but without a raw power source I was unable to carry it out. With their army of homunculus dead, the Mutus will be easy pickings for the Reapers. We can finish this, once and for all.”

  “But that means you, you idiot,” Vox snaps. “A room of mithril isn’t going to be enough to block the effects from reaching you, too. You’ll -”

  “I’ll die,” I say smoothly, stirring the darkening solution in the beaker and pouring it into a purifier. “A fitting end, don’t you think? I was born, and I brought evil into the world. I die, and I take the evil with me.”

  “Darius, you can’t -”

  “I can. Your concern is touching,” I cut him off. “But I’ve lived long enough. I just want to rest.”

  I just want to live. Live and burn under her gaze - burn inside of her, burn beside her. To protect her, to sleep curled together in each other’s warmth, to make her meals that delight her and feast on her golden Azoth in turn. I want to have Christmas with her; decorations, cookies, Jeeves would be ecstatic to be able to put up a tree for once, and she would help him, I’m sure. Laughter, kisses. Nights at restaurants, in what humans call a date; I thought they were so frivolous and pointless before, but now they seem wonderful. Nights spent in bed, reveling in each other’s bodies until we’ve memorized every tender weakness, every molten sigh, pretending to forget the next night and learning them all over. We’d travel together, and I’d show her every corner of the world - and every corner of my past, good and bad. I want every possible mundane thing humans do together, and I want to do them with her. I want to see her smile, to make her smile -

  But Rose showed me. I am the monster, and Mia is the human - and as long as I live, as long as the homunculi live, her life becomes more difficult, and more sad.

  “I have to make a new world,” I say. “One in which all Azoth will be safe. One in which alchemy can flourish without being abused. I have to re-make the world like it was meant to be - free of my mistake. Of Nicholas’ mistake. I’m going to put things right.”

  “Don’t be naive, Darius!” Vox snaps. “Even if you kill all the homunculi and the Reapers end th
e Mutus, someone somewhere will make more homunculi, someday. The cycle will never end.”

  “That’s the last part of the favor I wanted to ask you,” My voice gets low. “When I’m gone, please use your shadow to kill those who’d bring the homunculi back. Appeal to the Sage Council and make better rules - harder rules. Throw every alchemist who threatens the peace I make into the Darklands. Be vicious. Be heartless to those who’d make the same mistake again. That is my last wish.”

  “You selfish son of a bitch!”

  “This will end your father’s reign of terror, too,” I say. “It will be truly, truly over.”

  “The Mutus…Darius, they’ve brought back her father.”

  I’m silent for a moment. “Mia’s father? He was dead?”

  “He’s been dead for almost six months. But they brought him back.”

  “How?”

  “As a homunculus. They’re enhancing him with so much Azoth - it’s deforming him. He’ll become a monster. And he knows Mia’s scent. They’re going to send him after her.”

  “That’s all the more reason to go through with my plan
  Vox’s voice cracks with the beginning of a sentence, but he falls silent. After what feels like eternity, he exhales a frustrated breath.

  “Fucking hell, Darius. I didn’t want this. You’ve been the brother I never had.”

  It’s as much of a confirmation as I can hope for. Guilt only barely nibbles at me, my determination harder and stronger than it can ever bite.

  “You have been a brother to me as well, Vox. Thank you.” I smile, and hang up. My work consumes me, and my hands move with lightning agility - pouring, analyzing, purifying and re-purifying, evaporating elixirs into powder form and back again. The whine at the stone doors is the only thing that breaks me out of my concentration. I open it, and Ava slips through, tail wagging as she wildly rubs against my legs. I bend and pet her.