Diary of a Human Target (Book One) - Tainted Youth
Monday, 27th March 1989
It's two weeks now that I've been possessed by a crazy idea: I intend to find my first love, George Franzis! So, day after day I've been searching for a long lost love: Firstly, I sought to find his telephone number in old and new directories. I've tried dozens of numbers in vain, until I saw 9630..., which seemed to be more probable. I have dialed it many times, but there is no answer.
This morning, on the bus to work, I happened to meet Ivy, with whom we were classmates in the first two classes of gymnasium. We talked about our careers, I told her I work in an import company and she told me she has studied Chemistry but she works in a big bank. Then I brought up the subject of old schoolmates and George Frantzis; I was exhilarated when I heard that George has returned to Greece after completing his studies of business management in America. I even talked her into giving me his phone number, which is indeed 9630...!
… On the following days I will keep trying to find George on the phone, but nobody ever answers at the above mentioned number. I will also discover his address: He lives in a nice house near our old school. I often go there and wait patiently outside, in case George comes out. Yet, the doors and windows of the house remain stubbornly shut. I have only noticed the name of the next door neighbour, which is clearly written on the mailbox: Mrs Margaret Bogris...
Friday, 7th April 1989
It seems I have been seeing “ghosts” lately, that is persons who look like George or Rosita, his elder sister. Sometimes I even dare stalk these persons for a while! It usually takes me some time to figure out that they are just complete strangers...
This morning I met Louise on the bus to work; I thought twice before doing it, but I finally couldn't hold myself in and showed her a young man who was sitting opposite us: “Look at him, he reminds me of someone: Isn't he George Franzis, our old classmate?” I asked with an assumed air of indifference.
“No, Yvonne, this is not George, he just resembles him a little! George isn't so dark-skinned!” retorted Louise at once, and I saw that she was right.
Thursday, 13th April 1989
It was a few days ago, on the bus to work again, when I first noticed a beautiful young woman with short blond hair and piercing blue eyes. I've been thinking about it and I am almost certain it is Rosita; I intend to get acquainted with her, so as to reach her brother eventually.
This morning I went to the bus stop earlier than usual. I stood by the corner and watched her for a few minutes, while she was approaching. When the bus came, I took care to sit opposite her, so that I could observe her facial features more carefully. After a while it was clear to me that it was not Rosita, although she looks like her a lot. Then, all of a sudden, the young woman turned and looked at me in terror -obviously she had just realized I had been watching her. Poor girl, I must have frightened her out of her wits!
As for the rest: It is two months now that Alice has opened a haberdasher's, although she is pregnant. This means that my parents and I are always on the alert to run and help her, not only with the household chores but with the shop as well. As about Antony, he doesn't even deign to come and have a look. Therefore, Alice asked my father to leave his morning job as a paint-store assistant and undertake her haberdasher's -without any payment, of course. In the end, my father quit his job a few days ago, so as to satisfy the needs of her Majesty the Queen Alice. However, this evening my sister announced that she won't “hire” dad, on the grounds that “he will interfere in my affairs too much,” as she said.
Saturday, 22nd April 1989
A bolt from the blue: My sister and Antony have just separated (once again) after lots of quarrels, fights, beatings and other happy incidents. We are all overwhelmed by her tragedy, while she is in urgent need of moral and -mostly- financial aid, especially now that she is pregnant. As a result, from now on my parents and I will have to career about all day so as to satisfy Alice's increasing needs, taking into account that she has just rented a small apartment on her own.
Anyway, I have the impression that her independence won't last long -as usual: The game “Separation - Tragedy - Reconciliation” takes place about twice a year, which means that she moves house twice a year. The general plot is as follows: Without even a clear reason, the couple make feathers fly, Antony beats up my sister, she goes away and rents a house on her own. Then, the repentant husband goes and finds her, he cajoles her with sweet talk and flowers, Alice returns home, she abandons the house she had found for herself, and so on, until next time.
In any case, the duchess demands that we promptly run and help her with the enormous amount of work needed to be done every time she moves house. Needless to say, everybody (relatives, friends, neighbours) is constantly busy with Alice's problems. “But you have another child too,” said cousin Dimitri to my father the other day, and only then did I realize the truth: One way or another, Alice has been absorbing all my parents' energy for decades now...
Saturday, 20th May 1989
Constantine, the nouveau riche husband of cousin Niki, has been thinking no end of himself lately: He used to be an employee in aluminum works, but now he has his own industry, as well as a night club on the road along the seaside -and all this within a year!
The fact is that Antony, who has already made up with Alice, desires to join the “elite” too. For this reason, he and my sister have been invited to dinner by Constantine tonight, so as to meet some of his estimable collaborators. Alice put on the sexiest outfit she could find (tight shorts with a flashy bust) and escorted her husband to the business meeting, all airs and graces.
Conclusion: It's a good thing that Antony won't finally agree to take part in all this. Before long we shall be informed that Constantine and his “collaborators” are involved in drug dealing! Yet, because of some mistake of his, Constantine will finally be betrayed by the “racket” and end up in prison! And then I wonder why my family has always been poor, while certain people become rich and successful in no time...
Monday, 22nd May 1989
As soon as I came back from work, Alice brought little Yanni for us to babysit till late at night -as usual. Despite that, she never misses an opportunity to show her contempt for me:
“Isn't there a nice guy to introduce to Yvonne? Antony has so many friends!” suggested mum at a moment.
“Antony's friends see Yvonne almost every day! If they liked her, they would have said something,” answered my sister disdainfully. “Besides, I don't like their telling me that they don't fancy Yvonne!”
“How can you be sure they don't fancy her?” wondered mum.
“But can't you see how awful she looks?”
“This is what I look like, take it or leave it!” I popped in.
“Everybody leaves it!” wound up Alice, with an air of one hundred Hollywood stars.
Wednesday, 14th June 1989
Good news at last: The publishing of my book has already started! A few days ago I was given the corrected rolls and this afternoon I returned them with a few more corrections. I also gave them a cover, which is a water-colour painting made by me: It depicts a mysterious landscape with pyramids and the red-haired protagonist in the foreground. As far as the manageress told me, they can process it on the computer so that it will appear as a real work of art. I can say I have enjoyed the whole procedure, yet I wonder: Isn't it the publisher's job to find covers for the books he publishes?
Monday, 3rd July 1989
Before the break of dawn, after a very painful delivery since the umbilical cord was coiled around the baby, my sister gave birth to her second son today. The boy will take the name of our father, that is Josef.
The most remarkable event: When the baby was brought to her in the morning, Alice was most surprised to find out that he had changed sex! “You know, my child is a boy,” she informed the nurse, who finally fetched my sister's baby boy, while the girl was returned to her mother.
As an expected consequence, Alice will have to close her shop shortly, although it makes enough money.
Anyway, now with the baby, my mother and I will have a lot more work to do...
Sunday, 16th July 1989
My incredible love story goes on: A few days ago the telephone number 9630... answered at last! Yet, all I could hear was two infants' voices that didn't make any sense. I asked to talk to George Franzis, they told me to “hold on a minute”, I waited for almost half an hour, but there was no one there to speak with me! During this week I tried three more times, but the result was the same.
Still refusing to face reality, this afternoon I finally decided to talk to Louise about this matter and ask her to help me by using her numerous acquaintances from high school. To my great relief, she agreed happily: “I can understand, Yvonne; till recently I was also in love with another classmate of ours, Gerry, if you remember! Don't worry, I'll be happy to help you find George!”.
However, when Louise dialed the above mentioned number, the same two infants answered the phone; when she asked for George, they shouted at her in unison: “I am George Franzis!”
Saturday, 22nd July 1989
Yet, the more fate opposes me, the more stubborn I get: Suspecting that George might have changed phone numbers after so many years, this morning I searched and found Mrs Bogris' telephone number in the yellow pages.
As soon as she answered the phone, I assumed an air of innocence and asked to speak to Mr George Franzis. The woman explained to me politely that he lives right next door and that I have the wrong number. However, she refused to give me the correct one...
Friday, 11th August 1989
The summer is almost gone and the boss is playing possum: It is already crystal clear to me that Lucas has no intention of giving me the summer leave I am entitled to, although this is the only month of the year that we hardly have any work to do in the office.
This morning, I dropped a hint about this subject once again, but he kept harping on the same string: “I won't be able to give you a leave next week, because I must go to the village; neither the week after the next, because my wife wants me to go to the village with her, and someone must stay in the office,” he said with an air of irony.
“Next week I won't be able to come to the office, because I have already bought the tickets for my vacations!” I lied to him.
For a few moments Zafirakis was flabbergasted, as if he couldn't believe his ears. Then, he started shouting, wild with anger: “What are you talking about, Yvonne? This is impossible! Up to now you have given me a different impression, I thought you were somebody I could rely on! But now I see another Yvonne before me!”
“I can't understand why you wonder,” I replied as calm as possible. “I think this is the best for both of us, since August is the only month that all Italian companies close for summer vacations, so we have no work at all. Yet, you keep on postponing my leave with various excuses...”
“We are going to have lots of work this month! This means that I will have to hire another secretary for the time you will be away! I will be financially ruined because of you!” he retorted, all nerves.
“Certain people should be thanking God for having a job! Instead, they want to go on vacations!” popped up Mrs Stasa.
Suddenly, I was about to burst into tears, although I knew those two were talking nonsense. Anyway, I didn't expect such a negative reaction and I didn't want to be on bad terms with the boss; therefore, I considered it good to beat a strategic retreat:
“I didn't know there will be so much work to do, especially this month; in this case, I will give back the tickets and I won't go on holidays,” I said with a trembling voice.
“Oh, no, you will go on your precious holidays now! Nevertheless, you should know that normally it is the boss who decides when the employee goes on vacations!Moreover, don't forget that most bosses don't content themselves with clerical work from their secretaries! They demand more things!”
Certainly, that was the last thing I ever expected to hear from the always prim and proper Mr Zafirakis. I just stayed there numb, looking at him with confused, tearful eyes.
“Yes, Yvonne, this is the case: Apart from answering the phone and typing invoices, secretaries have to offer other, more special services to their bosses! Do you think that everybody is as easily contented as I am?” wound up Lucas, with a sly look in his eyes.
After that blasting, I asked permission to go out for a while. I spent the next twenty minutes walking around with tears in my eyes...
Wednesday, 16th August 1989
This morning Lucas brought another girl to the office, obviously an acquaintance of his, who will sub for me from the 21st to the 31st of August that I will be absent. Her name is Maria, and she is a twenty-year-old super ambitious crank who thinks she is an executive of great caliber:
“Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't stay here for an hour!” she boasted off with an air of arrogance, as soon as we were left alone. “Till recently I used to work in a big company, where work was extremely demanding: You couldn't linger for one moment and there was always something new to learn! As far as I can see, nothing special ever happens here, and I am not a loser, I intend to succeed in my life!”
Monday, 21st – Friday, 25th August 1989
Holidays in Perdika, on the island of Aegina, together with my parents: We are staying in a traditional hotel, which is not at all bad. Yet, I have a problem because all three of us are staying in a small room: Dad snores all night long, he sounds like a locomotive and I can hardly get any sleep at night. At least, we have found some company: We've met a family of neighbours who happen to have their cottage here, so we aren't bored. Every morning we go swimming to nearby beaches; in the evenings we gather in their veranda or we walk around the village.
I would have a much nicer time if I weren't obsessed with work: I feel miserable all the time and I can never calm down, day or night. I keep bringing to mind the incredible situations I usually face in the office, the permanent hostility of the working environment and the endless demands of the boss: He wants me to work continuously, without ever taking a leave, always with the basic salary, while he will be assigning more and more tasks to me. I also keep thinking about the reprisals I'm going to face when I return to the office in September...
However, in the last morning of my vacations, a revolutionary idea suddenly occurs to me: Leave Vinomec for good and open my own office of typings and translations in the centre of Athens. I feel much better already...
… When I return to the office on the 1st of September, Maria will inform me the following: During the days of my absence, there was no work at all at the office, there was nothing for her to do, she was bored to death and the office reminded of a cemetery -which was absolutely normal for August. In a few words, Lucas went to the trouble of hiring another secretary for fifteen days only, just because he wanted to show me how irresponsible it was of me to ask for a leave in the super busy month of August...
Monday, 18th September 1989
Louise has tried many times to organize a gathering of old classmates (including George Franzis), but up to now it has been impossible for her to find any of them on the phone, she says. The fact is that as time goes by and I don't get any closer to my goal, I get more and more frustrated.
After months of vain search for a lost love, this morning I felt so disappointed that I didn't hesitate to do something crazy: I took a “sick leave” from work and went to the high school of Glyfada in order to ask for Rosita's address and phone number!
“I am looking for an old friend of mine, Rosita Franzis, whom I lost years ago but I must find again!” I said to the astonished masters, who showed unexpected understanding and started searching in the old lists of pupils right away. A little later, they were sorry to inform me that there is no record of that pupil after so many years. Then, as if I were an automaton, I bent my steps to the Town Hall, where a similar scene was repeated...
Wednesday, 20th September 1989
I am on holidays and I am luxuriating in the sunshine, the golden beach,
the clear water of the sea. The bright sun rays are sparkling on the azure, lacy sea waves. The landscape is magical.
George Franzis is with me; he is sweet, charming, tall and slender, with shiny brown eyes -just like then, when we were both in the second class of gymnasium. He is perfect and he is mine. We are in love and very happy together. We kiss gently, and I know this is a sign of our meeting again.
Right at that moment I wake up with a unique sense of bliss in my heart. What a wonderful dream that was...
Thursday, 21st September 1989
An unexpected solution to my problem was given this morning by Theone, a neighbour and good friend of ours, a poor woman who works as a domestic help. While we were chatting, it was casually revealed that she often goes to Mrs Bogris' house and does the housework! What a paranoiac coincidence!
Without hesitation, I seized the opportunity and asked her to fish information about George Franzis. “Why, didn't you finish your affairs when you were in gymnasium?” she wondered and laughed exuberantly, while I was in seventh heaven.
Monday, 25th September 1989
“George is studying business management in America. He is engaged to a Greek woman and he will marry her soon. He will never return to Greece again.”
That was the news Theoni brought me this evening.
So, this is the end. I can see now that all this was nothing but a wild goose chase. Yet, I wonder: Why was I possessed by such paranoia, twelve years after losing George? Maybe because deep inside I know that during my whole life there will be no other love for me. I know that my life will go on in absolute loneliness, following its own weird path...
Chapter 24: Life goes on...