Nothing New

place the money in my personal account #138756 with First Galactic Trust."

  Matilda said, "Transfer complete."

  Jake said, “Olivia, the money in?”

  “Yes it is, my great, big, lover man,” a sexy voice answered.

  “You’re one sick puppy,” Roger said shaking his head.

  "Hey, I’m not the one on the suicide mission. Bring your floater around to the back and into the repair bay."

  "I’m not suicidal. Matilda, you heard the man. Do it."

  “I love it when you’re demanding.”

  Jake and Roger headed back to the repair bay, and Roger's floater was there by the time they arrived. The bay door was closed, and the bay brightly lit. It was remarkably clean, with only a few tools along the wall and a number of electronics packed on the benches. Jake picked up one of the electronic boxes and walked up to the floater. He pushed a button on the box's control panel, and a door about an inch in diameter popped open on the rear quarter panel of the floater. Jake moved to the opening and plugged an electrical cord from the box into it. He spent about five minutes punching buttons on the box’s control panel and then he disengaged the cord and closed the small door.

  Turning toward Roger, Jake said, "All done."

  "That's it? I paid a million credits for five minutes work!" Roger exclaimed in a slightly elevated voice.

  "Hey, you aren't paying for the time. You're paying for the know-how and the risk."

  "Your risk or mine?"

  "I'm not concerned with your risk. If you get caught, there won't be any record of your having this type of work done here, only a routine maintenance check. I have been doing this for six years and have never had any trouble with the authorities. Admittedly, the authorities don’t seem to really care anyway. Oh, one thing I forgot to mention--the floater will only fly on manual from now on. I hope you’re up on your floater piloting."

  "Don't worry, I am."

  "Why should I worry? I’m not riding with you. Good luck."

  Roger got into the floater and activated the controls. The floater lifted six inches off the floor, and he drove the craft out of the bay. He then flew it up to five hundred feet and entered one of the traffic streams leading out of town.

  Matilda screamed, "Are you out of your mind?! What are you doing? You are going to get us both killed. Please reactivate the safety measures and the control links."

  "Shut up Matilda, I know what I’m doing."

  "Well it sure doesn't look that way to me. None of the optical receptors on the floater exterior were working."

  "No kidding. All of the control links have been severed which means you can’t interface with them. If they hadn't been, the safety measures would still be in place."

  “Are you insane? You can’t drive worth a damn. I always drive."

  "Matilda, relax and enjoy the ride. I know what I’m doing. Just be quiet—I have to concentrate."

  Roger split off from the traffic flow after about 200 kilometers and headed for a mountain range about fifty kilometers away. The snow-capped mountains were very jagged and rocky with deep valleys separating the peaks. Roger increased speed to five hundred kilometers per hour and headed into one of the valleys. At first he was a little wary and stayed a good quarter kilometer from the valley walls and floor. But, as his confidence built, he got closer and closer. He even increased his speed to 550 kph. Pretty soon he was brushing the treetops and actually scrapped a rock ledge.

  He yelled, "This is great!"

  Matilda said, "What is great?"

  "Believe me, you don't want to know."

  "Well that sure puts my mind at ease. Even if I can’t see through the floater’s receptors, you should know I’m tracking your every move anyway, so I know exactly what you are doing. I’m sure the authorities are tracking you also. You’d better not get us both killed."

  Roger continued to maneuver though the mountains for another half hour. "The edge is wearing off this. Matilda, what is the operational altitude of a floater?"

  "They can safely go up to 4,000 meters with a good pilot, like me. Why?"

  "I was wondering if this thing can go into space."

  "It can't."

  Roger increased the floater’s speed to 800 kph and pointed its nose up at a 60-degree angle. His altimeter was pinned almost immediately at 2000 meters. Roger sealed and pressurized the cabin. When he reached about 5,000 kilometers, the seals in the cabin began to give way. Roger said, "Oh what the hell. It was worth a try."

  Then the floater’s engine shut off, and the vehicle began to fall back to Earth, Matilda said, "Roger, do you realize that this fall will be fatal.”

  “What do you mean fatal?”

  “Like in crash and burn.”

  “What? Won’t the floater just turn on again, so I can fly it?”

  “If some idiot hadn’t disabled the safety controls, yes, it would. I can’t even give it a try. Don’t say you weren’t warned. Now we both die.”

  As the floater passed through 3,000 meters, Roger heart was beating rapidly, and he was on the verge of panic. “What do I do? I don’t want to die.”

  “A little late with THAT decision aren’t we? Floaters are not very aerodynamic, so you won’t be able to make a dead stick landing.”

  “Don’t say ‘dead.’ So what do I do? Hurry up.”

  “You have to get the engine going again or you’re dead.”

  “I said don’t say ‘dead.’ How?”

  “Shut all the systems down now.”

  “Okay, done.”

  “Now wait an hour and turn it back on. Just kidding. Turn everything back on.”

  “Okay, done. Nothing’s happening. We’re dead!”

  “Don’t say ‘dead.’ And don’t panic yet. You have to initiate the turn-on sequence. Hit the following buttons in this order: stasis power on, engine on, and start.”

  Roger frantically scanned the panel for the right switches and pushed them as he located them. “Nothing happened. Is that it?”

  “Now you can panic. That should have done it. Turn everything off and on again and repeat the sequence.”

  “Okay, I cycled the power. What’s the sequence again?”

  “Boy, what a memory! Stasis power on, engine on, and start.”

  “Hey, I’m under a little pressure here.” With shaking hands, Roger repeated the sequences. The floater began humming and slowly reduced it rate of descent to zero. Roger looked out the window and saw that he was only about 200 meters off the ground. He sighed heavily and said, “I did it!!!”

  “What do you mean ‘I’?”

  “I knew WE could do it.”

  “If that’s true, why did you wet yourself?”

  Roger quickly reached down into his crotch. He was surprised and relieved to see he was still dry. “Very funny.”

  Matilda said flatly, “We have company.”

  Roger looked out the windows and saw a Global Security Authority floater on each side. “Shall we make a break for it?”

  “Now who’s being funny? You’d better follow them.”

  An official voice exploded out of his dashboard communicator.

  “Follow us.”

  One GSA floater pulled out in front of him and the other dropped behind him, and Roger obediently followed.

  Five hours later, Roger walked into his apartment and collapsed into his favorite chair. Matilda said, “You are one lucky bastard.”

  “How do you figure that? They fined me two hundred thousand credits and reinstalled my floater’s safety features with a tamperproof lock on the access panel.”

  “They should have taken your license.”

  “They didn’t want to be too harsh with me. Obviously they could tell I’m an upstanding member of society.”

  “They must have come to that conclusion when you were on your knees crying and begging them not to take your license. I guess you don’t actually have to be standing to be
upstanding.”

  “Hey, that was theatrics!”

  “Then why did you wet yourself?”

  Roger instinctively glanced down at his crotch before he realized the joke. “Cute. What time is it?”

  “It is 8:31 PM. Do you want dinner?”

  “Yeah, give me something with tomatoes, garlic, and bananas.”

  “Oh I love a challenge. Does it have to be edible?”

  “Nothing else you cook is, so why change?”

  “I hope you like spending the next few days in the bathroom. Matilda’s famous ‘Diarrhea Delight’ coming up.”

  “Seems appropriate, you’re such a pain in the ass.”

  At noon on Monday, Roger and Jack were seated in their favorite restaurant. Roger was poking at his salad half-heartedly and talking, “It was not only embarrassing, but it was hugely expensive.”

  “Well, what good is money if you can’t use it to make a gigantic ass of yourself?” Jack replied. Jack was a handsome man, about 60, with very light brown hair that he wore long in a ponytail at the back. His two-meter, 105-kilogram frame was slouched down into his chair, reflecting the bad posture that was one of his characteristics. His eyes had a droopy look that made him appear to be perpetually bored, which was not too far off the mark. He was wearing his usual brown pants and dark green shirt. Roger tried to remember if he had seen him wear anything else. He thought he must have since he had known Jack for a decade now.

  “Thanks for the empathy,” Roger said sarcastically.

  Matilda quipped, “I told Roger what would happen, but nooooo.”

  “Hey, I didn’t ask you to join this conversation, so butt out.”

  “I just wanted to let Jack know that you were warned,” Matilda retorted.

  “Thanks, Matilda,” Jack commented. “You have my permission to join the