Summer State of Mind

  Hearing Lina talk about my other life is weird, like I’m cheating on her. For weeks all I could talk about was home, and now I just want to talk about here. Cancun isn’t happening, but I haven’t told anyone that yet. Not even McDaddy, who I haven’t talked to all week because I haven’t checked my Bunk One notes. I had a low-technology-dependent week. I only tweeted occasionally, and I was afraid to read any e-mails from Kate or Margo about the second half of the summer and our plans. I have a feeling I’m going to change all of them, anyway. McDaddy was right—I shouldn’t have to buy people’s affections—not at the Pines, not at home, not anywhere.

  “I will not be wearing my hair like that to the cabana, if I even go to the cabana. You’re the only one who could pull off that rock star look, anyway,” I tell Lina. “Whenever I used it, I looked like I was trying to bring back the eighties.”

  “It did come in handy for eighties night,” Lina points out.

  True. “That is why you should hold on to it,” I say. “For next summer.”

  We’re both silent. I’ve said the “S” word. Summer. Next summer, meaning this summer is over. At least it is for me. In two hours, McDaddy and Mom will be picking me up. Then, after a quick lunch with Kyle, I’ll be on my way home.

  Which is what I’ve wanted and yet…

  I pack up my last item—my piggy alarm clock—and then my little corner of the cabin is empty. It’s been stripped of sheets, my canopy, my trunk, and that lavender pillow that Addison always complained made her feel ill. My space looks depressing. “I guess that’s it.” I zipper my last duffel closed, then Lina and I carry the three bags to the door. Strange to think Courtney was right about me not needing all the other things I sent home weeks before. I can’t even remember what I had in there.

  “We should get down to breakfast,” Lina says. “Beaver is going to run out of french toast if we don’t, and he made this version especially for your last day.”

  Aww… Beaver. I miss him already. He made banana-walnut french toast just for me because he knows it’s my favorite. I sliced the bananas for him myself this morning, and we both got a little choked up. It was sweet seeing a guy that manly be all vulnerable.

  Yes, I hit the mess hall kitchen after seeing the sunrise. Who is this girl who rises with the sun? I’m not sure. But when you have just a few hours left…

  “He should have enough for several batches.” I step off the porch. Then I take a look back at the cabin with its rickety porch. It wasn’t such a bad place to sleep after all.

  I’m not telling McDaddy that though. Better to let him suffer a bit for holding me hostage here.

  “I wonder what Beaver’s going to make in his next cooking class,” I say out of nowhere, and Lina looks at me oddly because we were just talking about breakfast. “I thought he should do Mexican food since you’re having a fiesta party next session.”

  “If you stay on, you can help him prepare,” Lina hints again.

  “Leen…” I sigh. “You know I can’t.”

  “Why not?” Lina asks loudly, and a bird on a nearby tree actually flies away. “Camping Barbie and Adventure Barbie aren’t done having fun yet.” She grins. “I haven’t gotten you back on the zip line.”

  “You wouldn’t even if I did stay.” I laugh. “My feet are staying on the ground.”

  Lina looks determined. “Stay on with Kyle. Call your parents and tell them to turn the car back toward Long Island. You know you want to.”

  “They’re already on their way.” I dig the toe of my now beat-up crystal-covered Chucks into the dirt path. “Besides, can you imagine how Jeanie and Camilla would react if they knew I changed my mind about leaving?”

  “Who cares? We don’t hang out with them, anyway,” Lina says. “I bet Melody and Addison would be okay with it. Vickie and Trisha, too. They’ve warmed up to you just like this guy.” Ethan walks over. He looks like he’s come straight from the showers, and he smells like green soap. I like green soap. I also like brown eyes. He has a lot of pluses in his column. But no. I said I was leaving after four weeks, and it’s been four weeks. It’s time to go home!

  The two of them stand side by side like they are going to block my path to the parking lot. Behind them I can see bunks filing out of their cabins to head to the mess hall for breakfast. The normal sounds of nature suddenly get drowned out by laughter and talking. Most of the campers don’t even make a comment about the fire when they see me. That could be because Hitch made an announcement that no one was allowed to talk about the fire anymore or who started it. I still don’t think they’ve gotten over losing their London Blue spirit board though.

  Ethan looks directly at me. “Say you haven’t had fun this week, and we won’t say the ‘S’ word again.”

  I give him a puzzled look. “Summer?”

  He reminds me again that he has an excellent smile. “No. The ‘S’ word is ‘stay.’ ”

  Oh! “Guys, this week has been great, but I have people waiting for me at home.”

  “Like Kate?” Ethan hates even saying her name, so it sounds strange on his lips. “You know she’ll be waiting for you with her hand out.”

  He’s right. I’m not looking forward to seeing her (or trying to get my wardrobe back). The person I want to see is Margo, which is why I feel bad for not tweeting her back this week. Finishing the London Blue video gave me a great high, but still not knowing where we stand in the contest is killing me. Courtney says Hitch said the camps were told to be on standby for the next two weeks. Once London picks a winner, she’ll be here within days to shoot the video. I can’t believe Hitch hasn’t let it slip about us entering. He was so ecstatic when he saw the video.

  It feels weird knowing I won’t be here when they find out if they’ve won. If they do, maybe I’ll come back up to see everyone when McDaddy shoots the video. Coming back so soon might be weird, though.

  “I’m not going back for Kate,” I tell Ethan and Lina. “I’m going back because it’s time. I made it through four weeks at sleepaway camp, something I never thought I could do. I zip-lined, I mud-wrestled, I made the whole camp french toast and realized I loved to cook. There is nothing left for me to do here.”

  “Yes, there is.” Ethan folds his arms across his chest. “You can stay and enjoy the rest of your summer with me… I mean, us.”

  That’s pretty sweet. My cheeks burn. “With you guys, yes, but the rest of the camp still sees me as the Barbie doll who ruined their chances of meeting a pop idol.”

  “They wouldn’t think that if you let them know we whipped out a new entry,” Lina says. “A brilliant entry. Whether or not we win, everyone should know how you stepped up.”

  The breakfast bell rings. We’re going to be late if we don’t start walking. “No, it’s too late for that. Besides, the damage is done. I don’t want to buy their trust. Let’s just go to the mess hall and enjoy breakfast together one last time.”

  Ethan purses his lips, but he doesn’t say anything. The three of us walk the short distance in silence, and I find myself taking snapshots of the campus in my mind. I took photography as an elective this week, and every picture I took was of the scenery. A close-up of a pine tree. My favorite rock that I liked to sit on at the lake (when I’m trying to get out of free swim—you still can’t get me to swim in there). The new porch on the theater, which I’ve been helping to build. Some of the shots were blurry, but still.

  The mood is sadder than I’d like it to be by the time we get to the mess hall. Thankfully it’s hard to stay upset when you’re in this place. Having the whole camp under one roof is loud and distracting. By the time we get inside, even Lina has cheered up a bit. Ethan, however, has walked off to his table without even saying good-bye. Part of me was hoping he’d sit with us this morning. I’ve seen campers sit at other tables on a special occasion. But maybe my leaving isn’t as special to him as I thought.

  “Barbie, it’s a bummer you’re leaving today,” Melody mumbles with her mouth full, “but I have to say, the
french toast Beaver made to send you off is amaze.” Addison nods since her mouth is full. Vickie and Trisha mumble in agreement.

  I catch Jeanie glaring at them, trying to will them back to the Anti-Harper team. “Beaver’s french toast is always amazing,” she says and looks at me. “But I’m sure the french toast you get on Long Island is way better. Have fun at home.”

  Well, as long as we’re both being fake… “Thanks. Have a great second session.”

  Suddenly the lights dim. Power outage? “I had nothing to do with it,” I say to Lina, and she laughs.

  “Good morning, Whispering Pines!”

  Hitch is in the front, megaphone in hand, and he doesn’t seem alarmed by our darkened hall, so I guess all is okay. “I hope you’re enjoying your breakfast. Let’s give a warm round of applause to the kitchen staff—volunteer and otherwise!”

  “What’s with the lights?” someone yells. It’s Heath.

  “Ah, I’m glad you asked, Heath,” Hitch says. “I don’t normally like movies during breakfast, but for this I’ll make an exception, especially since it’s so important.”

  I get a sinking feeling in my stomach. Where is Ethan? I don’t see him anywhere. Lina looks pretty pleased with herself though. “You didn’t.”

  “I didn’t do anything.” She takes a big piece of french toast and pops it in her mouth. Her expression doesn’t leave me entirely convinced. “It was Ethan’s idea. He figured if you were leaving, anyway, who cared if you got mad?”

  “As you know, almost two weeks ago our camp entry for the ‘Win a London Blue Video Shoot’ contest was accidentally destroyed in a fire.” The room is so quiet I can hear birds chirping outside. The fire is still a topic no one likes to talk about.

  “The person responsible for that fire felt so bad about what happened that she decided to try to get a new contest entry in on her own,” Hitch says. “I didn’t tell any of you about it because I wasn’t sure she could pull it off, but she and a few fellow campers shot a video entry that is pretty darn spectacular.”

  My bunk stares at me. Jeanie looks like her food just went down the wrong pipe.

  “So what I’m saying is, Whispering Pines was able to enter the contest after all!” A screen drops down as the room erupts in cheers. “Watch the video for yourselves.”

  “He’s playing the video?” I am shocked. “Now?”

  Lina nods. I put down my fork. I can’t eat while they’re watching this. What if they hate what I’ve done even more than they hate me for ruining their first entry?

  The first image is of Ethan standing with a big group of pez. “Good morning!” they yell. I shot them standing at the edge of the dock by the lake. “Welcome to Whispering Pines sleepaway camp in the Berkshires,” Ethan says, being careful to leave out London’s name so the other campers don’t know what we’re up to. He starts walking toward the camera. “We’re happy to show you around the Pines. First stop—our beautiful lake, where you can start your day by paddleboarding, which is an amazing cardio workout, or on a sailboat, which we know you love, since you learned how to sail at the age of eight.” The next image is of Beaver in the kitchen. “Next, let’s head to the mess hall for breakfast. No need for catering when you have Beaver at your service.” Our cook looks nervous but smiles brightly and points to his frying pan. “I heard you like bananas Foster!” he says. “We’ll have it waiting for you!”

  Addison turns to me. “When did you make this?”

  “When you guys left for the overnighter in Boston,” I say.

  “But you only had a few hours to get it done,” says Trisha in awe. “And you did all this? That’s… pretty cool.” Jeanie stares at her plate while Camilla swirls her cereal with a spoon.

  “Thanks,” I say. I strain my neck looking around the room for Ethan. Then I spot him leaning against a back wall with Kyle. He gives me a satisfied look and a little wave.

  “I think I won!” Kyle mouths. I can’t help but grin.

  The last scene is still my favorite, maybe because of what happened after the camera was turned off. It’s Ethan and Lina in the canoe on the lake at sunset. “Hey, London,” Ethan says in his smoothest voice. “We hope you enjoyed your day at Whispering Pines with us. We’ve saved the best moment of the day for last.” He motions to the sky. “The sunset. If you shoot your video here, you’ll definitely want to spend time on our lake and maybe even shoot at this exact time of day. With the right person, this lake can be pure magic.” I have chills just hearing it all over again. “Until then, have a great summer and enjoy the sunsets.”

  When the video ends, Justin is the first to whistle. Dirk, Heath, and Kyle follow suit, and then Ethan joins them. Before long, most of the mess hall is banging forks on the table, stomping their feet, and getting the rowdiest I’ve ever seen them outside of All-Camp Night. They’re all looking at me and smiling! Trisha and Vickie are actually cheering. Ethan motions for me to go up and take a bow, but I shake my head. Just hearing how happy they are with the video is enough for me. I guess that’s why I don’t see Ethan blow right past our table. He goes straight to the front and takes the microphone from Hitch.

  “Let’s hear it for Harper McAllister,” he yells, and I jump as everyone cheers louder. Jeanie keeps her hands on the table. The two of them have been kind of icy with each other after Ethan confronted her about what happened after bunk karaoke. “I know a lot of us are really going to miss her when she leaves today.” His eyes find mine. “I know I will.”

  Heath whistles, and then everyone starts to clap again. Ethan just stands up there, not looking embarrassed at all.

  “Wow, it’s gotten hot in here,” I say to Lina, who laughs.

  “All right, everyone.” Hitch gently nudges Ethan aside. “Let’s calm down because I still have more to say.” I watch as two people join Hitch on the stage.

  McDaddy? Mom? Why are they up there? “That’s my parents,” I tell Lina.

  “This is a good friend of mine—a former bunkmate, actually,” Hitch starts to say.

  From the back of the room I hear Kyle call out, “Hot Pants McAllister!” and I start to laugh. McDaddy’s brow furrows as he searches the crowd for my brother so he can kill him. My mother bites her lip.

  “He and his lovely wife have brought me a message that I think you’ll all want to hear,” says Hitch. The screen behind him gets bright again, and a grainy video appears. I can see an unmade bed and clothes thrown everywhere. It looks like a hotel room. Then a face comes into view, and people start to scream.

  “Hi there, Whispering Pines. London Blue here.” The biggest pop star in the world is doing a shout-out to my camp! She looks like she just woke up because her hair is frizzy and her skin is free of makeup. Of course, she somehow still looks luminous (lucky!). The dyed streak in her hair is now a royal blue, and she’s changed her nose ring from a sapphire to a diamond stud. Her blue eyes practically fill the entire screen.

  The room erupts in craziness at the sight of her. Lina is yanking on my arm so hard I’m sure she’s going to rip it out of its socket. Jeanie’s jaw drops, and she looks at me as if she’s seen a ghost. If London is sending us a video, then…

  “I have seen a lot of entries for this contest—poems, songs, poster boards with lots of pictures, and even some food entries.” She makes a face. “Note to you all for the future: Do not send food through the mail. But none of those entries held my attention like your video. How could I say no to a place that has zip lines and the best background singers around?” More screams are heard around the room followed by a loud “shush!” “Whispering Pines reminded me of my own summer camp days, which were not always easy! I was a bit of an outcast.” She scratches her nose. Or is that her nose ring? “I had no clue how to start a fire with two sticks, and I hated swimming in the lake, but what I did have were some great friends who made the whole experience worthwhile. Their friendship is what inspired my next single, ‘Summer State of Mind.’ See you guys in one week for our shoot. We’re going to have a
blast!”

  Everyone is screaming like we won the Super Bowl. I’m happy, but suddenly I feel wistful. I wish I wasn’t just driving up to watch the video shoot. I want to be a camper in the video, too!

  “We won,” Lina says, still stunned.

  “We won,” I repeat, and the two of us giddily hug.

  Lina’s eyes focus on mine. “You made this happen, Camping Barbie. If we had handed in that spirit board, we would have lost. We won because of you!”

  “We won because of all of us,” I correct her. “I couldn’t have done it without you guys.”

  “I can’t believe you pulled this off.” Jeanie looks as stunned as I feel. She looks at Lina. “So that’s why you weren’t on the overnighter,” Jeanie says, putting the pieces together. “You, Ethan, and Kyle helped her with the video.”

  Before I can say anything, I am lifted off the ground. I feel Ethan and Kyle pushing me up onto their shoulders like a quarterback who just scored a touchdown.

  “Let’s hear it for Harper!” Justin crows, and everyone cheers. They parade me around the room, finally depositing me near the front where Hitch, Pam, Beaver, Courtney, Mom, and McDaddy are waiting for me.

  Beaver grabs me first. “You did it! I can’t believe London is coming here.” He shakes his head. “I get to make bananas Foster for London Blue!”

  “I can’t wait to hear all about it.” I feel a little sad as I say that. The reality is I won’t be here to see him do it.

  “Way to go, kiddo,” McDaddy says as he and Mom whisk me away from Beaver and my own thoughts. “I had no idea you shot the video till Hitch told me himself this morning.”

  “So you had nothing to do with the judging?” I ask as we walk over toward Hitch and the counselors. Please say no.

  “Nope.” McDaddy grins. “The Pines won on its own with your help.”

  “Maybe you have a career in video production ahead of you,” Mom says.