Grim

  Last night hey talked and she thought they were growing closer. Apparently, Grim was just trying to please her. Telling her whatever she wanted to hear to keep her with him.

  “Mommy!” Straightening at Carly’s voice, she turns to see her daughter carrying a plate with what looks like cookies.

  “Hey babies, what have you got there?” She forces her dark thoughts away.

  “Cookies mommy!” Miki informs her excitedly as she rushes around her sister. “They are soooo good.”

  “And how many have you had already young lady?” Lisa can’t help but smile.

  “Only a few mommy. Cook wouldn’t let us have too many, something about not eating our dinner.”

  “Cook is right. Now let me try one of those cookies.” As the girls’ giggle, Lisa bites into one and her eyes start to fill.

  “Mommy?” Carly looks at her and the quiver in her little voice has them overflowing.

  “It’s alright baby.” Lisa finally gets out, after swallowing. Dropping to her knees, she pulls them close. “These are just so good that they made me think of home.”

  “I miss home sometimes too mommy.” Carly whispers, a sound behind them has Lisa tensing before she sees Kirk standing in the doorway.

  “Thank you for bring the girls back Kirk, I have them.” She smiles at him but it doesn’t reach her eyes, it doesn’t reassure him, he’s heard what she said. She didn't consider this her home.

  “Yes my Queen.” Turning away, he frowns. He is one of the first Guard to serve a Queen in nearly five hundred years. She has filled Luanda with light, pride and the laughter of offspring. She treats every male as if he were special, something none of them ever experienced before, while making it known that Grim is the only male she wants. She is his Queen and he not only wants her to stay, he wants her happy. He needs to speak with Agee.

  “I miss home sometimes too baby, but everything that’s important is here on Luda, isn’t it.” Lisa turns her attention back to her girls. “You two are here and that’s what matters to me.”

  “And Grim mommy.” Miki reminds her. "You can't forget Grim."

  “And Grim.” Lisa forces out, the girls missing the strain in her voice.

  “Then why are you crying mommy?” Miki asks.

  “I don’t know baby, I think maybe I’m just tired. We’ve been really busy lately haven’t we?”

  “We’ve had lots of changes mommy.” Carly agrees.

  “Come on, let’s sit down.” Moving to the couch, they snuggle together. “I know things started out kind of rough here but we’re making it a home, aren’t we? Just look at this room.” They look around the room they’d helped create.

  “We did a good job mommy.” Carly informs her. “It’s bigger than our old room.” Miki nods in agreement. “And the yard is bigger too but there’s no one else to play with.”

  “I guess your right kiddo.” Lisa frowns wondering how she can handle this. “I’ll talk to Montfort and see if we can’t set up a play date with other children alright?” Suddenly a loud explosion shakes the windows, followed by a bright flash of light, causing all of them to jump. The girls scream and before Lisa can calm them, guards rush into the room, weapons drawn.

  “My Queen!” Dyer addresses her, his eyes flying around the room looking for the threat.

  “What was that noise Dyer?”

  “Noise my Queen?” Suddenly he understands and relaxes slightly. “It is just a tempest my Queen, loud but nothing to fear, not inside Luanda.” He waits to see if she understands.

  “Tempest…a storm.” Lisa rises to look out the window. Seeing the rain falling in the flashes of light, she turns back to the girls. “It’s just a thunderstorm girls.” She looks back to the guards, seeing they still have their weapons drawn. “We’re fine, there’s no threat. It just startled us. Thank you for responding so quickly.” With a nod, the guards leave and she moves back to the girls.

  “What do you say we grab a bunch of pillows, throw them on the floor, eat cookies, and watch the storm?”

  “Yeah!” They readily agree, rushing to get what they’ll need.

  Chapter Ten

  It is how Grim finds them, hours later, huddled together under blankets and pillows, sleeping. He’s eyes travel over their sleeping forms, reassuring himself they are unharmed. He’d been notified of their earlier scare and hated that he hadn’t been there to reassure them. Luda is still new to them and he hadn’t given a moment’s thought to a tempest bothering them, just as he hadn’t thought about his impatient words hurting Lisa. He'd once again been more concerned about protecting then whom he was protecting. Would he ever get this right?

  Alger’s words haunted him. Had he made his Lisa believe she didn’t matter to him? That she wasn’t worthy. That would be unacceptable. She is the only thing that did matter to him, her and their girls. He’d give up everything, everything in the universe, for them.

  Letting his gaze caress her face, he frowns at the darkness under her eyes, eyes that slowly open. Warmth fills them until she fully wakes then the warmth disappears and she looks to the girls.

  “Lisa…” A clap of thunder stops him from saying more as the girls wake with screams.

  “Shhhh.” Lisa pulls them close as Grim drops to the floor. “Shhhh, its’ just thunder. Remember? It’s’ okay, come on wake up.” She tries to distract them.

  “Grim!” Miki sees him over her shoulder and throws herself into his arms. “Make it stop Grim.” She pleads.

  Pulling her trembling body close, Grim wants nothing more than to be able to grant her request. “It will be over soon Miki. You are safe here in Luanda. It can’t hurt you."

  “Promise?” Tear filled eyes look into his.

  “I promise. It’s just a loud noise.” He settles her more firmly in his arms and looks to see Carly listening and watching. “It is said that the sound you hear, is caused by the Great Raptor’s wings as he flies over, protecting all he sees. The flashes of light are his eyes driving away all darkness. The Great Raptor destroys all that would cause harm to what is his and then he sends the rain to wash them away. Sometimes the battle is long and brutal, like tonight, but it is only the Raptor protecting his people." Grim looks between his two young ones. "So you see there is nothing to fear. You need only to stay in Luanda so you don’t distract the Great Raptor from his task.”

  “He can see us?” Miki looks from Grim to the window then back to him her eyes wide.

  “Of course, you are his, he protects what is his. He will always watch over you.” Grim looks to Lisa, to see if she understands what he’s trying to say. “All of you. But he also needs you to help him.”

  “Us?” Carly pipes in her eyes just as wide.

  “You. For the Great Raptor to be able to protect the land he needs you to stay inside while he battles the darkness. It is the only way.”

  “Wow…” Miki whispers. “We can do that. Can’t we Carly.” She looks to her sister.

  “Yeah. We can help the Great Raptor.”

  “That is good little ones. For he wants you safe in Luanda at times like these. So will you remember to stay inside when the tempest comes?”

  “Yes Grim.” They chorus and with the next flash of light are up and at the windows trying to catch a glimpse of the Great Raptor.

  Standing Grim holds out his hand to Lisa and waits, the eyes that meet his are filled with confusion and hurt, making him wonder if she’ll accept him. Slowly she places her hand in his, allowing him to pull her up but as he tries to pull her close she stiffens. “Lisa…” He mummers.

  “Sire.” Montfort’s voice interrupts him.

  “Yes Montfort, what is it?” Grim tries to control his impatience it is what’s got him in this situation in the first place.

  “Last meal is ready sire.”

  “Thank you Montfort.” Lisa answers, stepping away from Grim. “Girls time to eat.” Turning she herds them out of the room and into Grim’s Chamber were they’ve eaten every evening meal together as a f
amily.

  Grim watches Lisa closely though out the meal, she is as attentive to the girls as always but there’s sadness, just underneath. The sparkle her eyes always held when she looked at him is gone, replaced by a cool distance.

  “Alright girls." Lisa stands when they've finished. "Let’s go pick up your room then you need to get ready for bed.”

  “Oh mommy…”

  “Girls…” Grim warns, adding his voice to Lisa’s.

  “Yes Grim. Yes mommy.” They quickly rise to obey. Grim stops Lisa from gathering the plates.

  “Lisa…” He starts only to be interrupted this time by the ringing of his comm.

  “What is it?” He demands.

  “Sire, Baccuus has been captured. He will be here in five minutes.” Junius informs him.

  “I’ll be there shortly.” Grim responds.

  “Who is Baccuus?” Lisa asks.

  “No one you need to worry about.” He informs her shortly then grimaces at his words. “Lisa…”

  “You need to go. I need to see to the girls, good night.” For the second time that day, Grim knows he’s hurt her.

  Lisa wipes the tear from her cheek as she watches her babies sleep. They are so beautiful, so innocent. How are they going to survive in this place? No matter what, Grim will protect them, she knows that. His honor would let him do no less. That much she did understand, but the rest...

  Quietly shutting the door, she moves into the Royal Chamber, stifling a yawn. How can she be tired? She’s never been one to nap. If she does, she never sleeps well that night. Well except for when she’d been pregnant with Miki, she corrects herself, and then she’d been tired all the time…when she’d been…Lisa finds she needs to sit.

  Is it possible? Could she be pregnant? Frowning, she counts back, it’s been over a month since they’d left Earth and in all that time, she hasn’t had her cycle, but that could just be because of everything they’ve been through. Yeah, so she was tired, that didn’t necessarily mean she was pregnant. She’d been so sick with Miki.

  Not with Carly, her inside voice reminds her, not one day. Leaning back Lisa’s mind accepts what her heart knows is true and slowly she puts a protective hand over her stomach. She is pregnant, pregnant with Grim’s child. Cradling her head in her hands, she cries.

  Morning dawns grey and dreary perfectly reflecting Lisa’s mood. Grim had not returned the night before and the girls were asks about him.

  “I don’t know girls. I’m sure he wishes he were with you. Now eat.” As the morning progresses, the weather doesn’t let up, making all three of them antsy.

  “Miki that’s mine!” Carly grabs the color from Miki’s hand, setting it beside her.

  “But you’re not using it!” Miki argues back.

  “Doesn’t matter, it’s mine and you can’t have it!”

  “Mommy!” Miki cries out.

  “Enough girls!” Lisa’s at her wits end. She knows the girls are picking up on her turmoil but she can’t seem to stop it, her emotions are a mess. They need to move.

  “Come on girls, we’re out of here.”

  “But mommy it’s raining.”

  “I didn’t say outside I said out of here. Let’s go see what’s going on in the kitchen.”

  “Yeah!”

  Ion and Nairn follow the Royal family to the kitchen. Most warriors avoid Warrior Tagma, also known as Cook. He is a short-tempered warrior that refuses to have his routine interrupted so both are shocked at his response to their arrival.

  “Little ones!” He greets them enthusiastically. “Have you come to help me again today?”

  “Can we?” Carly begs excitedly.

  “Of course little ones.” Straightening he stiffens when he sees Lisa. “My Queen.” He bows formally.

  “Hello Tagma. We are a bit out of sorts today and thought we might visit.”

  “Of course my Queen, you are always welcome.” However, Lisa can tell her presence is making him uncomfortable. Sighing she looks around the room seeing all the males are uncomfortable. This will never do.

  “Would you mind if the girls stayed with you Tagma? They always enjoyed helping in the kitchen at home.”

  “Majesty?” Tagma sees the wistfulness in her eyes as she looks around the room. “You and the little ones…you cooked together?”

  “Yes, every day.” Lisa gives him a sad smile. “It was something we very much enjoyed doing together.”

  “Would you like to help?” Tagma forces himself to ask, not realizing Lisa can hear he’s reluctance.

  “No Tagma.” She shakes her head. “This is your space and to be honest, while I’ve enjoyed everything you’ve cooked, it is nothing like we had at home. I would be more of a hindrance than a help.”

  “I’m sure that wouldn’t be true Majesty.” He immediately denies.

  “I’m not.” She meets his eye and he doesn’t understand the sadness he sees there. “If you’re sure the girls won’t be in your way…”

  “Never Majesty, they are a joy to have.” Lisa nods before turning to Ion.

  “I will contact the Guard majesty.” Once they arrive, Lisa leaves the girls in their care with one final order.

  “If they become a problem Tagma, let Risley know, and they can return to the Royal Wing.” Lisa looks down to her children. “Do you understand girls?”

  “Yes mommy.” They chorus.

  Ion and Nairn follow behind the Queen as she aimlessly wanders the halls of Luanda. She pauses occasionally, moving the placement of an item slightly or to stare at a portrait hanging on a wall. Her absolute silence concerns them, their Queen liked to share her thoughts with them, to get their opinion, not today.

  Lisa, unaware of her Guards concern, enters one of her favorite rooms in Luanda. It faces the morning sun with a wall full of windows allowing its rays to shine on its contents. It is the first room she thought of for Dagan’s sun catchers.

  “Majesty!” Lisa jumps. She hadn’t realized anyone was in the room.

  “Cherny.” Lisa nods to the male who’d been put in charge of this room.

  “I hadn’t realized you wished to use the room Majesty or I would have made sure everything was in order.” Cherny can’t believe this has happened. He’d been given the honor of making sure this room was kept to the Queen’s standards and the day he is behind is the day she wishes to use the room.

  Lisa hears the distress in Cherny’s voice and looks around the room. “I see nothing out of order Cherny. In fact, the room is beautiful. Hopefully soon I will be able to add to its beauty with sun catchers made by Dagan.”

  “Sun catchers majesty?”

  “Yes, beautiful pieces of…” Lisa finds she can’t continue, for the sun catchers are another thing Grim would see as making little difference. “I’m sorry Cherny. I didn’t mean to interfere in your day. If it matters, I think you are doing a wonderful job.” Giving the shocked male a slight nod, she quickly exits the room.

  Ion looks to Nairn confused at the Queen's comment. Why would she say such a thing? She is the Queen of Luda. This is her home but neither can ignore the pain they heard in her voice.

  “Majesty.” Ion finally speaks, watching her reach out to touch something, only to pull back as if she weren’t allowed. “Luanda is your home, others intrude, never you.”

  Lisa turns as he speaks and he is shocked and dismayed to see her eyes fill with tears, one escaping before she quickly turns away.

  “I believe I will return to the Royal Wing.” Is her only reply as she walks away.

  Grim looks at Baccuus’ bruised and bloodied body without the slightest bit of remorse. This male compromised Luda’s security, allowing intruders to land. They’ve been interrogating him for hours and Grim is finally satisfied they’ve retrieved every bit of information he had.

  He needs to inform Wray of what he’s discovered, that this attack, has been instigated by someone on Tornian. Baccuus didn’t know who, only that his father had been promised a great deal for the ship to enter
Luda undetected. In turn, his father promised Baccuus that he would be placed in a position on power in the Andeen Province, elevating him.

  He didn’t know who was on the transport or what they were here to do, only that they would signal when he was to allow the transport back through the shields.

  “Have Lord Focke brought to Luanda immediately.” Grim orders turning from Baccuus.

  “Yes sire.” Alger acknowledges.

  “I’ll be in my Chambers, notify me when he is here.”

  “Yes sire.”

  Lisa stares over the walls guarding Luanda, wondering if she'll ever be allowed outside them again. Grim is over protective now. How will he be once he knows she’s conceived? Sighing, her finger follows the path of a raindrop. This should be such a happy time. A new life has been created. Instead, she is alone in the female level contemplating her choices.

  Did she have any? She gave Grim her vow but still…could she stay with him knowing she means so little too him? What were her options? To go to Tornian and be forced to join with another male? One that could be like Luuken? At least here, the girls were happy and Grim seems to care about them and what about the baby? She might be able to take the girls but Grim would never allow his own child to be taken from him. Could she walk away from it? Never!

  So where does that leave her? It leaves her here…on Luda. Looking around the empty room Lisa wonders if she’d been too hasty in cleaning it out. She'd been so sure they'd be able to make this work. Now…now she isn’t sure she can sleep with Grim…not after yesterday…and joining…how does one join with someone they love…when they don’t love you in return?

  Lisa feels her eyes fill at the thought. She loves Grim. She does. She knows it as surely as she’d known she loved Mark. Grim doesn’t love her...he needs her, but he doesn't love her.