Entangled in Darkness

  Chapter 7

  It was chilly as I awoke. My eyes crept open to see the fog of my own breathe. I opened my eyes wider and saw golden light streaking the bottom of the horizon where it met with the mountains in the distance. I sat up uncomfortably as I felt my back aching and my arm stinging against the cold air. I looked at it and noticed the bandage was no longer covering it. Instead there was a slice of red across my wrist that was blotchy with dried blood. I noticed I had been lying on a weathered wooden bench that had beads of moisture all over it. I looked around me and realized I was in a park not far from my parents’ house.

  As I stared forward at the light inching its way over the horizon, a terrible confusion lay over me. I didn’t remember going to the park. I didn’t remember anything except going for a run. Everything felt hazy in my mind. All I remembered was feeling restless the night before and needing to get out of the house. I remember putting on my running shoes and going out the door. Then I jogged for awhile down some streets and around a few blocks. I didn’t remember anything happening. I didn’t know how I ended up sleeping in the park. I sat there confused for a minute and then turned my attention to the sky.

  I smiled as I noticed the clouds turning pink and orange. The sun must have been getting close to showing itself that morning. I had no idea what time it was. I didn’t know what time dawn was at this time of year. It didn’t seem to matter as I looked at the beauty painted over the sky. Streaks of gold and pink painted across a blue-grey water colour of mountains. It felt like life was breathing into me as I looked at it. It was refreshing. My smile grew until it felt like the corners of my lips were kissing my ears. A little tear inched its way into my eyes as I felt a simple serenity surround me. Suddenly life felt beautiful again. It was more than beautiful. It was radiant, magnificent, and heavenly. I couldn’t believe I almost gave up on it.

  I started to giggle as I felt the breeze tickle my nose. I jumped up off the bench and spun around the grass for a second. Then I took in a big breath and felt the joy of the dawn seep inside my lungs. My eyes shut and I smiled, just feeling the cool and gentle wind wrap around me. This was what I needed. Nature. Simplicity. Beauty. That’s what I needed to live life. I needed to forget about all the other crap that had invaded my mind over the last few weeks and just live. I took in one final breath and spun around, my arms soaring up to the sky.

  "I’m alive!" I yelled out. "I am alive. Hee… I’m alive, I’m alive. I’m alive!" I shouted with radiance in my voice, my eyes feeling exanimate.

  I kept spinning until I fell to the soft dewy grass with dizziness. My head was spinning and I didn’t care. I lay back in the gentle grass and saw that the clouds were getting whiter and the sky was getting more blue. It looked like it was going to be a sunny day with only stray clouds feathering over the sky. It was the exact kind of day I needed to start my new life and that’s what I had resolved to do. I lay there for a few more minutes until I felt a sudden surge of rejuvenation and sprung to life.

  I eagerly got up and jumped to my feet and began to jog home. It was more like running freely than jogging though. I just ran fast, my arms sweeping the wind as I reached them outwards beside me. Feeling the air brush past my cut felt like it would heal it in some mysterious way so I let my hand fly in the wind beside me.

  "The world is beautiful!" I screamed out as I ran through the park, birds fluttering away as I past them. "Oh glory! Life is beautiful!"

  Suddenly I tripped as the grassy edge of the park met with the cement sidewalk. I tumbled forward and found myself face down on the cold grey cement.

  "Damnit! Stupid piece of crap!" I shouted with vulgar as I pushed myself off the ground with my good hand. I held my other hand out of the way as it throbbed. I had broken my fall with both hands making the pain return bitterly.

  I put my fingers up to my forehead and felt moisture. I looked at them and noticed the fresh blood pooled on my fingertips.

  "Oh crap, Just frigging great" I said annoyed.

  I stood up and started to walk, my knee aching and feeling out of place as I did. My face frowned and I forced myself to hobble home. It took about fifteen minutes to make the five minute walk but as I reached the front steps of my house I fell to the ground in pain and satisfaction for having made it home.

  "Oh my God, Neil. She’s hurt!" I heard my mother’s voice behind me.

  "Janey, get some ice," my father said calmly.

  I didn’t bother turning my head. I put my hands over my ears instead. I didn’t want to hear them. Their shrill voices were disturbing the serene tranquility of the dawn that had rejuvenated me that morning (right up until I fell and hurt myself). I could still hear them though. I didn’t even listen to what they were saying. I could feel them fussing over me and felt a dabbing of my forehead. I looked up and saw my father with gauze that had a small amount of fresh blood on it. I closed my eyes and tried to feel the dawn pervade me like it had when I first woke up. But all I could feel was their panic around me.

  "Leave me alone," I scowled, my brow burrowing together in frustration as I pushed his hands away from my head.

  "Stop it. You’re hurt. I have no idea what you’ve been doing but let me fix your damn head," he said angrily.

  I shut my eyes tightly and breathed in. The refreshing feeling of the air was gone. It was warmer and felt uselessly stark unlike the crisp cool air that had swept inside my lungs earlier.

  "I’m fine." I insisted. I tried to get up despite the pain in my knee.

  "Sit down," my father snapped at me.

  "Screw off! I’m not twelve. Leave me alone," I growled, my eyes piercing at him like I had a beast inside of me. There was silence for a moment as all three of them stared at me in shock. I hobbled past them inside of the house.

  "Where are you going?" my father asked me in a stern tone.

  "I’m thirsty," I said as I made my way to the kitchen.

  My arm, forehead and knee were all in pain but I didn’t care. The pain didn’t matter. I just needed to be strong and start my new life, whatever that would entail. I wasn’t sure at that point. But that morning, the sun had spoken to me in some metaphysical way I couldn’t explain. I knew it was time to change things.

  I got some raspberry punch out of the fridge and drank down a whole glass in one steady gulp and then poured some more.

  "Why don’t you have some water, Dear," my mom said with soft but concerned eyes.

  "Why can’t I just drink juice?" I snapped at her, narrowing my eyes.

  "Annalyn, don’t yell at your mother," my father snapped. I noticed his face turning red as he stared at me with a frustrated confusion.

  I shook my head. "Dad, I’m fine. Can’t you people just leave me alone."

  "Neil, maybe she hit her head hard. We should call a doctor and have them look at her head," my mom rambled on.

  "She doesn’t have a head injury. She’s just being stupid. Go put some ice on your head and lie down," he told me.

  "I’m not tired. Just leave me alone. I’ve got things to do."

  "Maybe I can help you," Janey spoke up from the doorway. She looked at me with sad scared eyes.

  "Yes. That’s a great idea. Let’s go," I said, happy once again.

  "Where?" she asked me looking concerned.

  "Stop it. There’s no going anywhere for either of you. You’re being ridiculous, Annalyn. Help her up to her room, Janey. I’ll bring up the first aid supplies and bandage your arm and clean your forehead cut," he said, his eyes piercing and his face red.

  "Don’t tell me what to do!" I screeched at the top of my lungs in a way that stung my throat and started to dart out of the room, limping along quickly despite my sore knee.

  "Annalyn, don’t," Mom cried.

  "Just let her go. If she wants to be stupid, fine. She can be an idiot all she wants. She’ll be back in 10 minutes begging me for ice for all the pain she’s gonna be in," I could hear my father tell my mom.

 
After a few minutes, I had managed to limp to the end of the driveway and suddenly realized I had no idea where I was going or what I wanted to do. I looked into the distance at the sun, which had fully risen in the horizon by that point. I was hoping it would tell me what I was supposed to do.

  "What are you gonna do?" I heard a quiet voice behind me.

  "I have no idea." I turned around and smiled at Janey. "But today my life starts." My eyes felt a curious radiance in them as I looked at her. She had confusion written in her furrowed brow. "Join me!" I said enthusiastically as I grabbed onto her hand and started to pull her down the street towards the park.

  "What are you doing?" she asked in a panicked voice.

  "Trust me," I smiled as we continued down the block.

  "Stop." She pulled her arm away from my latch and stared at me with serious eyes.

  "What?" I asked innocently.

  "You’ve lost my trust. How can I follow you down the street to God-Knows-Where after everything that’s happened?" Her gaze reached into my eyes like it was searching for a sign that I could be trusted. I could tell she wanted to trust me. But she was scared and suspicious. I could feel it as her eyes invaded me.

  "Just trust me!" I yelled as I smiled wide and began hobbling quickly down the street, my knee starting to feel a bit back in place. "Wait for me!" She quickly followed.

  After ten minutes of silence and her following a few steps behind me, we had reached the edge of the park. I sat down at the nearest bench and rubbed my knee.

  "Okay, now what?" she asked with a skeptical look on her face.

  I smiled to myself. I could feel a breeze picking up as it began to tickle my face. I looked at the cuts on my arm and held them up to the wind and let the air flood against it. The air was cool but not cold. It felt soothing as a soft feather against my wounds. I leaned back on the bench and felt the wooden slats against my back. As I leaned my head back, I pulled my hair out from behind my head and let it dangle over the back of the bench. The wind swept through it tenderly. I sighed. This was exactly how I wanted life to feel. I decided I should wake up at dawn every morning, sit outside, watch the sunrise, and let the cool morning breeze refresh my entire body.

  "Annalyn!"

  I looked up and saw my sister furiously trying to get my attention.

  "What?" I asked as I smiled gently and peacefully.

  "You’re ignoring me. I thought maybe you were in a trance," she said as she looked at me with perplexed eyes. "Were you?" She slanted her head and watched me curiously.

  "I was in the middle of being reborn," I said surreally.

  "That makes no sense," she said with arms crossed.

  "Close your eyes, feel the breeze, listen to the wind sweeping in the trees. Don’t you feel it? It’s life. It’s my life being reborn again. It’s a new start. Freshness taking over me and cleansing me of all the dirtiness that has invaded me recently. I was lost. The wind has found me."

  "You’re scaring me," she said. I glanced at her to see glossy eyes. She needed the rebirth too.

  I jumped up and grabbed a hold of her shoulders with both arms. "Let them rebuild you!"

  "Stop it!" She started to cry.

  "Be reborn! God will rebuild you!" I yelled enthusiastically as I lay my head back and let my hair flow freely in the wind.

  "Let go of me!" she cried as she tried to pry my hands off her shoulders. "Annalyn, stop it. Just let go of me. Please." Tears started to stream down her face as I smiled at her with eyes that felt radiant.

  "Open yourself up to the sun, to Mother Nature, to the wind, to God. He will save you. They will all save you."

  Suddenly I felt myself falling to the ground. I looked up to see that she had pushed me down and was now running as fast as she could back to the house. I had no idea what had gotten into her. Everyone seemed to be acting strangely towards me ever since I came back home a few days ago. It didn’t matter though. I just lay there in the grass and stared at the birds as they flew overhead singing songs of new life. Their chirping gracefully invaded my ears and made my mind feel at ease.

  I sat at the bar by the university gulping down a Corona with a slice of lime in it. I hated the way it tasted but nonetheless, it felt refreshing. I was just finishing the last gulp as Lexie came through the door, her face looking baffled as she saw me. She stood in front of me for a moment, her head slanted and her eyebrows furrowed.

  "Well?" I asked with a selfish insistence on her answering me then and now.

  "I just don’t know what to think. A few days ago you were so depressed you couldn’t get out of bed or even shower. Now you’re all cleaned up and at the bar drinking beer— something you hate by the way." She sat down beside me and looked at me seriously. "I just don’t get it."

  "I’m alive and well. What is there to get about that?" I asked with a grin sneaking up on my face.

  "You’re good then?" she asked, her eyes still concerned.

  "I’m wonderful!" I yelled out holding up my empty beer bottle. "More," I said to the waitress as she walked by giving me an odd look.

  Lexie raised an eyebrow to me. "I called your parents just after you left the message on my cell to meet you here. They said you hurt yourself this morning. They didn’t even know how. I see the Band-Aid on your forehead."

  "Cute isn’t it?" I said confidently of my Care Bear Band-Aid covering the minor cut on my forehead, which only stung a little. Dad wanted to bandage it up with gauze but I felt that would look too stupid so I insisted on the cute Band-Aid. It would be my fashion statement. Unfortunately, my arm was less of a fashion statement with the new white bandage wrapped around it.

  "They told me what you did a few days ago to your wrists. It made me cry to hear that." Her eyes watered as she took the hand of my damaged wrist in her hand and traced her fingers along the bandage. It still stung but I just thought of that as a reminder of the changes in my life.

  "It made me realize that life is worth living. That event changed me. Now I am better than ever. I’m starting a whole new life today," I said with radiance pervading me. "That’s why I called you. I want to come back to our apartment and return to school. I realized that today as I was sitting at the park all day. I remembered how important school was to me before. I can’t believe I almost screwed that up. It’s not too late I hope."

  "You’ve missed over a week. I doubt your professors would be happy if they knew that. But honestly, with classes as big as they are, I don’t know if they would even have noticed. Did you have any assignments due during your absence?"

  I furrowed my brow as I thought hard to remember. "I don’t know. But it doesn’t matter. I’ll charm my way back in if I have to."

  "Okay." She still looked skeptical about my condition.

  I put my hand over hers and smiled warmly. "Life starts today."

  "What does that mean?" she said with a peculiar look in her eyes.

  "I’ve been wasting my life for the last few weeks. I’m putting a stop to that today. This is the beginning of my new life," I said looking at her with a surreal feeling draping over my face.

  "I’m glad you’re happy. Maybe you should call your parents though. When I called them, they said you came home after being out all day somewhere, they didn’t even know where, and then you had a shower and after that you were suddenly gone. They were quite concerned," she explained. "I mean, how did you even get here? Your car is still at our apartment."

  "I was at the park," I said matter-of-factly. "And I walked part way until a cute guy drove by and gave me a ride." I smiled as I thought of him.

  "You got a ride with a strange man?" She raised an eyebrow.

  "Yes."

  "That’s so unlike you." Her eyes darkened with concern.

  "It’s not a big deal," I said confidently. She shook her head and then paused for a moment.

  "So the park... what were you doing there all day?" She asked me with confusion written all over her face. "Oh, it wa
s the best experience in my life. As I was sitting there listening to the birds chirp and watching the sun move in the sky as the clouds and blue painted across it, I just felt... I can’t explain it. I just knew that they were rejuvenating me. They were bringing me back to life." I felt the nostalgic look in my eyes.

  "Who are they?" she asked skeptically.

  "Mother Nature and God. They are working together to build me up again. They are responsible for my new life." I smiled widely as a happy tear appeared in my eye. "I owe them my life. I am so..." My eyes watered more. "So grateful to them."

  "Um... okay. I don’t really know what to say to that. You’ve never been a religious person and all of a sudden you are talking about how God has saved you."

  "He has. And so has Mother Nature." I felt a calming peace melt into me as I thought of them. I took a big gulp of my beer and smiled.

  "I... just really don’t know what to think." I saw her frown. "Are you sure you are okay?"

  "I’m better than I have ever been in my life. I realize now that it was all part of the path. Drowning. Coming back to life. Living all this pain. It’s all lead up to the moment of this morning when the dawn helped me be reborn. They didn’t say words, but they spoke to me nonetheless," I said with a calm serene in my voice.

  "Who spoke to you?" she asked, her eyes widening.

  "I told you before, silly. God and Mother Nature. You need to start listening to me. Now, let’s get down to business. Can you drive me to my parents’ house so I can pick up my stuff and go back home?"

  She sighed and looked at me seriously for a moment. "Yeah, I guess. Are you done here? I’d like to go now."

  I finished off the last of my beer, gulping down half the bottle in one shot. "Yes." I smiled and put some money down.

  "How much did you order?" Lexie looked down at the twenty dollar bill on the table and then looked back at me with wide and concerned eyes.

  "A couple beers," I said matter-of-factly.

  "Well, do you know that’s a twenty?" she asked me condescendingly.

  "Hey. Don’t talk to me that way!" I said sharply.

  "What way? I’m just wondering why you are overpaying." I could feel her mock me as she spoke.

  "No. That’s not it at all. You are just upset because I’ve been touched by such powerful things today. You’re jealous!" I yelled with angry electricity in my eyes as I turned around and walked out of the bar.

  "Wait for me!" Lexie said running after me. She quickly caught up.

  "Just go. I’ll walk back to my parents’ house and get my own things," I said gruffly.

  "That would take you an hour to walk!" she exclaimed. I started walking. "Okay, stop. I’m sorry. I’ll drive you, okay. Just let me drive you," she hastily said before I could get far.

  I looked at her seriously for a minute, studying her face and the sincerity on it. Then I smiled. "Okay. Let’s go!"

  I awoke to the obnoxious sound of my alarm letting me know it was 7am. It was nice to wake up in my own bed at my apartment for the first time in several days. I felt bright as I got up, my eyes alert and my face smiling. I went and opened the curtains and my smile instantly faded. It was still dark outside, though it was starting to lighten up. I was hoping to see the bright dawn calling me to life that morning, but I would have to wait another half hour or so. In the meantime, I jumped in the shower and felt radiant as the water washed over me.

  After my shower, I put on a housecoat and went digging through my closet trying to find the perfect thing to wear on my first day back to school. The closet was still a mess from the days before when I couldn’t get myself together enough to stay tidy. As I searched, I realized I had the most boring wardrobe. Everything was so conservative and casual. There were plain long sleeve shirts of various pastel colours or dark shades as opposed to anything bright. I had khakis and jeans. There were a couple skirts but they looked like they belonged to a business woman rather than a fun eighteen year old girl. I sighed and walked over to Lexie’s room.

  "Rise and shine!" I exclaimed as I walked right on in and headed straight to her closet.

  "What are you doing?" Lexie asked groggily as she awoke.

  "I hate my wardrobe. I need to borrow something." My voice was cheery.

  "Fine. I guess I need to get up anyways." She sounded grumpy.

  I dug through her closet and found a pretty dark pink peasant top. It had short sleeves that were gathered at the bottom. The top part was gathered and opened up in the front with a tie, creating an oval of flesh just above the breasts. I thought it was perfect for the day. It was fresh and happy, just like me. I found a white fitted skirt that rose several inches above the knees to go with it. I went back to my bedroom and threw them on the bed and looked for some underwear. I found a lacy pink bra and panties and got dressed. I left the ties on the top undone. I liked how it made me feel to show some skin. For my hair, I let it hang freely but I made a couple small braids on each side of my face. I put on some berry pink lipstick and gloss, pink blush and light green eye shadow with tons of mascara.

  Finally at 7:45am I was ready to go. Lexie had already left, having gotten impatient waiting for me. I knew I would be late but it didn’t matter that much. I just drove fast. I managed to sneak into the classroom fifteen minutes late without being noticed as they were watching a video in psychology. I sat down at the back and soon became fascinated by the movie that was talking all about the brain. Watching the animations of nerve impulses was exciting, even electrifying. And then they started showing a PET scan of the brain. All those bright blues and reds were so beautiful. I wondered what my brain would look like at that moment. Would it be mostly blue or would there be bright red spots of life?

  The video finished after an hour and Professor Masterson turned the lights back on as everyone in the room squinted.

  "Okay, before you go on your break, I’d like to get in your reports. Leave them on the podium at the front." He turned around and took out a red marker and started to draw a diagram on the board.

  I felt an intense panic as I sat there. I didn’t know there was a report due. I hadn’t done it. I had nothing to hand in. What was I going to do? I took in a few deep labored breaths as my eyes watered a little. I got up and went down to talk to him.

  "Professor?" I said as I reached him. He turned around and looked at me curiously, waiting for my question. I didn’t really know what to say so I stood there for a moment. I’m sure he must have seen the terror in my eyes.

  "Is something wrong?" he asked.

  "Um, I... I didn’t finish the report. I’ve been terribly ill and I just... I haven’t been in class for the last two weeks." He just stared at me. "Yes, I was that sick. It was terrible. Very bad. I nearly died, I kid you not. So I don’t have the report done. I didn’t even know about it actually. So as you can see, I’m in a bit of a panic here as to what to do. I’m just really—”

  He cut off my quick-paced rambling with a stern tone. "It was in the syllabus. The report was clearly indicated to be due today. You should have known about it from the first day of class," he explained unsympathetically.

  "I know, but I’ve been so out of it the last few weeks." I smiled and moved closer to him. "Isn’t there anything you could do?" I asked him in a sweet voice.

  "If you have a doctor’s note, I could give you an extension."

  "I don’t have one. You see, my family nursed me back to health. We don’t go to doctors. It’s um... a... religious thing," my voice squeaked a little.

  "Then I can’t help you. You can hand it in late with a mark reduction for each day it’s late." He turned back around and started to write on the white board with his red marker.

  I lightly touched his shoulder. "I’ll do anything. Please." I smiled as I batted my eyelashes and tilted my head to the side. I smooshed my glossy lips together, letting him know how far I was willing to go.

  He sighed and looked at me for a moment. He studied me for a se
cond and then gave me a stern grave look of disappointment.

  "Look. I can’t help you and I’ve got a lot of stuff to get up on this board before the break is over. If you could please just leave me to do that, I would really appreciate it." He looked at me insistently. "Okay?"

  I nodded, my face frozen in mortification as the blood rushed to it. I quickly turned around and ran up the stairs to my seat. I sat there fidgeting nervously for the rest of the class as my mind went on a tirade about how stupid he was for turning me down. It never occurred to me how bad it was that I had actually tried to get my teacher to sleep with me in order to extend the due date of the report. I never even felt guilty or sick about it. Not then, anyways. I was too drunk on my new found zest for life.

  I was sitting there staring into his eyes as he smiled back at me. Everything he said made me giggle. He was a sweet-talker. He swooned me immediately as he saw me wandering down the streets near the university that afternoon. I started wandering aimlessly because I had been feeling lost and upset about what happened in class.

  "So really, why were you crying when I ran into you? I know it wasn’t just allergies making your eyes red," Mitch asked me out of the blue. We had been having fun just chatting at the bar. He was telling me all about his adventures abroad.

  "Bad day at school. There was a report due today and I didn’t do it. I didn’t even know about it," I said as I looked down at my drink and stirred the peach-coloured slush around.

  "Oh," he cringed slightly. "Can you hand it in late?"

  "Yeah. I just really hate losing marks. But it’s not a big deal. Let’s talk more about you. You’re so interesting. I haven’t seen you since high school." I smiled again and gently touched his shoulder as we sat side by side on bar stools.

  "Yeah. I remember you tutoring me in math in Grade12. I was too much of a jock to pay attention to a smart girl like you though. I can see now that you are definitely something I want to pay attention to." His eyes twinkled a little as he looked me up and down.

  I felt like my eyes were glowing radiantly as he spoke. "I was too busy back then thinking about grades to be paid attention to anyway."

  "What about now. You still seem concerned with grades."

  "There’s room in my life for things other than grades. There’s definitely room for some fun. Lots of fun. It’s what I need. It’s actually my new outlook on life: Have fun." I giggled a little.

  "Well, that sounds like a good outlook," he said with a smile as he put his hand over mine on the bar. A spark of electricity tickled my hand.

  "You are definitely making me have fun. You’re contributing to my new outlook. I should thank you." I giggled some more and took a sip of my bellini.

  "Oh, this isn’t fun. What I have in mind is much more fun. Why don’t you come with me to this new club downtown tonight. I’m going with some friends. I’m sure they won’t mind if you come along." He looked at me with his deep brown eyes and I felt a tickle inside. I just wanted to run my hands through his blonde hair.

  "Friends? I like it with just you and me. We never know what could happen with it just being the two of us." I gave him a sly smile as I put my hand on his thigh. His eyes lit up.

  "Don’t worry. There will be plenty of time for just the two of us. Come. It will be fun. Do you dance?" he asked me. The answer should have been no. I had no experience in dancing at a club. But it sounded fun nonetheless. I was in the mood for something adventurous and new.

  "Okay. I’ll come. But I’ve got to get changed before we go there." He nodded.

  "Where are you?" I heard Lexie spazzing over my cell. "I’m just out and about," I said nonchalantly as I smiled at Mitch. We were standing at the bar of the club downtown taking down shots of tequila.

  "It’s after eleven. I haven’t seen you all day. You left that tearful message on my voicemail this morning about some report you didn’t do. I’ve been trying to call you since I got the message. Why haven’t you answered your phone?" Lexie’s voice was brimming with worry.

  "I’ve been distracted," I said with a glow as I looked over at Mitch. The bartender put down two shots for us. "I gotta go," I told Lexie and then closed my flip phone and put it in my dainty black lace purse.

  After we finished at the bar, Mitch had driven me to my apartment, as my car was still parked at the university. Lexie wasn’t home at the time. I borrowed a short purple dress with thin straps that hugged my thinning figure from her closet. It had an iridescent glow to it. I felt like it would shine nice under the club lights. I had imagined the club to be like a disco with strobe lights and such all over the place. I also borrowed a pair of her strappy black heels and put on tons of makeup. I had dark smoky eyes with lots of mascara and black eye liner. My lipstick was a dark plum smeared with lots of gloss over it. After I finished getting ready, we met up with Mitch’s friends. There were three guys and two girls. However, I paid little attention to them and hung onto Mitch all night, draping myself on his shoulder as much as I could.

  "Ready?" Mitch asked me as we stood at the bar.

  "Let’s do it!" I yelled and giggled.

  We both held up out shot glasses and clinked them together and then hoisted them in the air. We threw back the shots simultaneously. I felt it burn my throat as I let it slip down. Then I took the shot glass and banged it on the table.

  "Woo!" I screamed out enthusiastically.

  He gave a little laugh. "I think I like drinking shots with you. None of my other friends get so vocal and excited like you."

  "Shots are fun. But we’ve done three sets now. I got other plans for us!"

  I grabbed onto his arm and started dragging him towards the dance floor that was filled with people dancing to music the DJ played. A Shakira song had just come on. The colourful lights flashing over the floor drew me in. I pulled him into a narrow space between some people in the crowded club and started dancing. I wasn’t much of a dancer but it didn’t even occur to me at that moment. I just tossed my arms around in the air and shook my butt, twirling around and singing along badly.

  I let the lights sink into me. I looked up at them as I twirled and all of a sudden the room became a blur of different colours contrasted against the darkly painted walls. Greens, reds, blues. They bathed inside my eyes as the music washed over my ears and took my head on a spinning trip.

  "I love this!" I screamed out and shook my butt and started grinding with Mitch.

  I didn’t even look at him much. I could feel him behind me. At least, I thought it was him. I just kept dancing and felt as if I was in my own little world.

  Suddenly someone bumped into me, startling me. "Get away from me!" I said, pushing whoever it was back. I felt a sudden and harsh grip around my arm that was pulling me to the side.

  "What are you doing?" Mitch asked me with an angry look on his face.

  "Dancing!" I said enthusiastically as I started to dance on the spot again.

  "No, you were pushing people! What the hell! Do you want us to get kicked out?" He yelled at me with his piercing eyes.

  "Don’t yell at me!" I screamed, my eyes feeling like they were on fire.

  "I think you’ve had way too much to drink. Go sit down in the corner and I’ll order you some coffee," he said, still angry.

  "No! I’m dancing! You can’t stop me." I pushed him out of my way and started twirling and twisting, moving my arms all over the place, to the music.

  "What’s wrong with your friend?" I heard one of his female friends say in a mocking tone. I immediately marched up to her.

  "There is nothing wrong with me!" I screamed straight into her face.

  "Get away from me! Mitch, help me," she said with fear and in a moment he was in front of her and grabbing onto my arm.

  "Don’t touch me!" I screamed. "Someone help me!"

  "Shut up why don’t you?!" he snapped at me.

  "Help!"

  "Is there a problem here?" a tall and heavily muscled bouncer dressed
in black said as he got up to us.

  "This girl has had way too much to drink. I was just trying to get her out of here so I can call her a cab home," Mitch explained.

  Soon, I was sitting in a cab crying my eyes out as I watched Mitch drive away from the bar. I knew he was angry and would never talk to me again. He was a jerk. That was all I could think of at that moment.

  "Where to?" the cab driver asked me. I gave him the address of my apartment and eventually I made it there. I had no money to pay him with so I called Lexie on my cell phone, still crying, and asked her to come outside with some money when we got there. She did.

  "Are you okay?" she asked me worried as she put her arms around me and hugged me.

  "It’s been a bad day," I cried as I latched onto her.

  "Did you have too much to drink?" she asked me in a sweet and non-condescending way.

  "Yes. But it doesn’t matter. Boys are jerks whether I drink or not," I whined as I crinkled up my face and continued to cry.

  "Let’s go inside, Sweetie," she said as she kept one arm around me and led me up the elevator to our apartment.

  I felt shaky as we walked down the hallway, but she kept me propped up against her as we walked clumsily towards the door. I landed on the couch feeling dizzy and hardly even remembering how I made it there from the door.

  "Do you want some coffee to help sober you up?" she asked me with a concerned but sweet smile on her face.

  "No," I started until an idea struck my mind. "Yes! I need to write a report. Bring it to my room."

  I stumbled through my door and landed on my bed dizzily. I forced myself up and pulled my heavy backpack off the ground and onto the bed. I started pulling out all my books, haphazardly throwing them around my bed until I found my Intro to Psychology book.

  "Oh, laptop. I need my laptop," I muttered to myself.

  I looked around the room as it spun in my eyes and saw it sitting on the desk. I got up and as I walked over to the desk, I fell flat faced onto the ground, landing in a pile of my own clothes.

  "Oh, sweetie, I think your report can wait," Lexie said as she rushed to my side and helped pull me up.

  "No!" I stood on my feet, swaying a little.

  "Annalyn, you’re being ridiculous. Write it tomorrow afternoon once your hangover wears off," she said, changing her tone to match my stubbornness.

  "I need to write my report. I need to! Professor what’s his face who turned me down and made me a fool needs to be shown up! I can write a report and it will be brilliant and...uh... I can write this. I need to, damnit!"

  "If you insist, but you’re not gonna get a good mark." She shook her head at me and left the room as the whistling sound of the kettle boiling rung through the apartment.

  "I’ll show all of you!" I yelled out as I grabbed my laptop and sat back down on my bed, propping myself up against the wooden headboard with some pillows.

  "I’m just saying you’re being illogical," I could hear her say from the kitchen. "I’ve got your coffee. Maybe it will help your mind get back on track and start thinking more like a normal human being." As she walked into the room, I could see her sarcastically rolling her eyes at me. I wanted to spit at her for her contempt for me. I bitterly took the coffee out of her hand and asked her to leave. She just shook her head and left, letting the door slam hard behind her.

  "Psychology 100 Report by Annalyn Johanssen," I said aloud as I started thinking of what I would say. "The greatest report ever! Worth an A triple plus!" I spat a little accidentally as I spoke loud and harsh as if the professor and Lexie and the world would hear me and realize my absolute brilliance. I sat there confidently researching electronic journal articles and typing up my paper for hours, not once realizing that it was perhaps the most ridiculous thing to be doing.