Tainted Butterfly

  I tried to keep up, but honestly, I was bored before we even got to the bar. When he told a joke that had him laughing while I just lifted my eyebrows at it, he got mad. His entire personality seemed to change all because I didn’t get his joke. I wasn’t the type of girl to laugh at something I didn’t find funny, and I didn’t have a very good fake laugh, so I had always stayed quiet whenever I didn’t get the punchline of a joke.

  I was all too happy to get out of the car when he pulled into the parking lot. Inside, no one was at the door to card me, and the place was the type that you sat yourself. There was music playing low so that people didn’t have to shout to be heard, but there were enough people in the place to have a low din of voices filling the room.

  Brandon took my wrist in a firm grip and pulled me to the booth in the back corner. I jerked it back when he started to sit beside me and didn’t scoot over enough to give him room. His face tightened as he sat across from me. As soon as we were seated, a waitress in tight jeans and a black polo came over to take our drink order. She was in her early twenties and very pretty. Brandon’s eyes went straight to her chest and stayed there for an embarrassingly long moment.

  Irritated, I asked for sweet tea, but Brandon ordered a rum and Coke. It instantly made me feel uncomfortable because he was driving. If it had been a beer, I probably wouldn’t have thought anything about it. But, after what had happened to Gray’s mother, I hadn’t liked to be around anyone who drank hard liquor without having someone I trusted with me, like Jace or Gray.

  It was only one drink though, I tried to remind myself. There was nothing wrong with having just one drink.

  “Tell me more about yourself, Kassa,” he urged, picking up one of my hands, which I had placed on the table.

  “There’s nothing really to tell. I’m a pretty open book.”

  “I don’t believe that,” he said with a look in his eyes that was supposed to be seductive, but it only annoyed me. When we had talked at the gym over the last few months, he had seemed really nice. Sweet, even. But I was quickly seeing that I had been wrong. “I bet you have a few secrets that no one else knows about.”

  I didn’t have any secrets that Gray didn’t know. Not a single one now that he knew how I felt about him, but there was no way I was going to share any of them with Brandon.

  The waitress set our drinks in front of us, and before she could even ask us what we wanted to eat, Brandon had swallowed half his drink. “Can I get another one, babe?” he said with a flirtatious smile for her.

  She glanced from him to me and back again. “Yeah, sure. Are y’all ready to order? Or would you like a few more minutes?”

  I hadn’t even glanced at the menu tucked behind the salt and pepper shakers. I opened my mouth to ask for a little more time, but Brandon was already talking.

  “We’ll take a basket of your hot wings, blue cheese for dipping. And two of your cheeseburgers, fully loaded with fries.”

  “Actually,” I told the woman with a tight smile, “I’ll just have a garden salad if you have it.”

  “Sure, hun.” She gave me a wink. “I’ll get your orders in and be right back with that second drink.”

  She walked away, and Brandon’s eyes followed her. I didn’t have to turn to know that he was looking at her ass. I clenched my jaw, ready for this date to be over with already.

  “Here’s an idea. Don’t just assume things. I don’t need you to order for me. And maybe, if you’re on a date with a girl, you don’t stare at other girls’ asses and boobs. Total dick move, asshat.”

  His eyes jerked back to mine and something flashed in them. It was dark, something I hadn’t seen in anyone else’s eyes before. It made me feel uneasy.

  “Noted,” he muttered before taking another swallow of his drink.

  I picked my phone up and sent a quick text to Alicia.

  Date was a bad idea. This guy is a total douche.

  She sent me an instant reply.

  Call Gray!

  That was the last thing I wanted to do. I told myself that I could handle this guy, but I pulled his name up on my phone anyway. Just in case.

  SIXTEEN

  Gray

  Sweat rolled down my back, my shirt drenched like I had showered with it on, but still, I kept running, trying to get Kassa out of my head—if for only a minute.

  It wasn’t working. Fuck, hadn’t I learned that by now? Nothing could get her out of my head. Not working out, not trying to fuck out the memory of how hot her pussy had been against my thigh and my hands, not distance, and sure as fuck not time. I had tried it all. Tried and failed.

  Working out didn’t do shit for how hard my body got from just thinking about her. Fucking around with other chicks couldn’t even begin to touch how hot she had gotten me with the little foreplay that had happened in her bed. And the real kicker? Every time I got off—every goddamn time—guilt would choke me. It was like I was doing something wrong, like I was cheating on Kassa.

  All I had been able to think about from the minute I had left her back in December was seeing her again. I hadn’t had a good night’s sleep during that time, because on the nights I’d actually fallen asleep, I had woken up and reached for her. All I wanted was to feel her body pressed against my side and her head pillowed on my chest, listen to the soft sigh of her sleeping beside me.

  I hadn’t slept beside her any during the last few nights I had been home. No matter how many times she had promised me that things hadn’t changed between us, I knew that it was one she hadn’t been able to keep. Things were different now, even if from the outside they might have looked the same. She was more guarded around me now, but I couldn’t blame her for it.

  If I had slit my heart open and poured out everything I was feeling to her and she had rejected me, I would have been more guarded too.

  I had fucked up with her. It was all my fault, but I couldn’t fix this thing between us. Because there was only one way to fix it, and that was to give in to my feelings for her. I couldn’t do that though. I couldn’t risk hurting her the way I knew I would end up hurting her when it was all over.

  “Dude, you sweat any more and I’m going to have to break out the mop and clean this shit up,” AJ chuckled beside me. He leaned against the front of the treadmill I had been on for nearly an hour now. “The way you’ve been running, it’s like something’s chasing you, boy.”

  Nothing was chasing me. If anything, I was chasing it. Kassa hadn’t let me talk to her about whether she was actually coming back with me next week. Every time I had brought it up or tried to ease us onto the topic, she’d changed the subject. I was sweating bullets, waiting for her to put me out of my misery. I didn’t just want her to come back to Cali with me. I fucking needed her to.

  I couldn’t handle another few months without her out there with me. Hell, I couldn’t last another week without her out there. My temper had been getting the better of me lately. Jace and I had been arguing more and more, having come to blows more than a handful of times in the past few months. I couldn’t breathe out there, not when she was back here in Virginia.

  If she didn’t come back, then I was going to say to hell with it all and stay with her. It didn’t matter that Emmie Armstrong was in the process of signing Tainted Knights with one of the biggest record labels in the world. All of that could wait until Kassa was ready to move because I didn’t have the strength to walk away again.

  I slowed the treadmill down to a walking pace and used the towel AJ had handed me to wipe my face and my neck.

  “Kassa out doing the pre-graduation rituals tonight?” he asked as I took a long drink from my water bottle.

  “She says she’s not up to that shit.” And fuck, but I was glad. I could vividly remember some of the things I had done the days before and after graduation, so I was weak in the knees with relief that she didn’t seem interested in partying and who the fuck knew what else.

  “Huh. Well, she’s usually in here on Thursday nights. Where is she?”

>   “Home. I’ll probably take her to dinner later.” And finally make her give me a straight answer about coming with me or not.

  There was a thoughtful look on his face, his eyes clouding with something that made me feel oddly tense. “That Brandon guy isn’t here tonight, either, and he usually is. He’s been flirting with her a lot lately. Always asking her out. I told him to back off, leave her alone because she’s just a baby. But he only seemed more interested after our chat.”

  My entire body tensed. “Who is the guy?”

  “He’s new to the area, been coming the last two months or so. The other women have been eye-fucking him, but his eyes have only been on her. You know Kas, though. She’s blind to any actual male attention. I blame you and her brother.” He grimaced. “I don’t know the guy well, but he gives me bad vibes, man. Especially the way he always looks at her.”

  “Don’t worry about him, AJ. Next time he’s in here, call me. I’ll straighten him out.” Whether Kassa came back to Cali with me or not, I would make sure that this Brandon fucker knew to keep his distance from my little caterpillar.

  “Don’t kill him, boy.”

  A grin titled my lips. “I’ll do my best.” I jumped off the treadmill. “I’m gonna hit the shower. Want to get a drink or something before I head home?”

  AJ glanced at his watch then around the gym. The place was steadily busy, but he had four of his staff working. “I guess this place won’t go bankrupt if I leave for half an hour.”

  Twenty minutes later, we both pulled our vehicles into The Tavern’s parking lot. I had sold the Jeep Alicia had given me when I had graduated and bought another vehicle in California, so I had taken Kassa’s to the gym. The Tavern held fond memories for me. It was one of the bars where Tainted Knights had played a steady gig. Every other Friday night, we would play there and the place would practically overflow with people trying to get in to see us. The last time I had been inside was over a year ago, but as soon as I walked through the door, it felt like no time had gone by.

  We walked over to the bar and ordered a beer each. The bartender was new to me, but that wasn’t anything unusual. The manager went through new bartenders every other month because people hated the prick and usually walked out on him without notice.

  “How are the boys?” AJ asked after we had both swallowed half of our beers.

  “Kale and Sin have been working their asses off, but as soon as we sign our record deal, I bet they walk out on their bosses.” I stood with my back against the bar and lifted the beer to my lips, taking another pull as I glanced around the place.

  It was still fairly early in the evening, but the place was pretty steady. At least sixty other people were sitting at tables and booths around the room. The Tavern served pub food for dinner, so they got crowded at meal times.

  “Sin still moody as fuck?”

  “When has he ever been anything but?” I laughed with AJ. “But there isn’t anyone else I would want to have my back, man.”

  “Yeah, I’d rather he have my back than want to stick a knife in it.” AJ was people-watching with me, scanning the room a few times before his gaze landed on a couple in the back corner.

  Sensing him stiffening, I followed his gaze. All I saw was some guy in a booth. His face was tight as he leaned in closer to his date and said something to her that had his eyes turning cold. I couldn’t see the chick except for the top of her head, but something inside me became instantly aware of her. That blond hair was familiar to me.

  As I watched, the guy lifted his hand and touched the girl’s face. She jerked her head back, but the look on the guy’s face became menacing and predatory. I knew that look, had woken up in the middle of the night gasping for air from the nightmares of memories that look had induced. How many times had I seen my father look at my mother like that? How many times had she cried and begged him to stop beating her when he got that look in his eyes?

  The guy in the back caught the chick’s hand as she started to stand, and even from where I was standing, I could see that he didn’t have a gentle hold on it. The chick tried to tug out of his grip, but the guy didn’t let go.

  “Stop,” I thought I heard her demand with a quiver of fear in her tone, but I wasn’t sure with all the other voices in the room.

  A red haze fell over my eyes, because I didn’t need to hear her voice or see her face to know who that girl was now.

  “There’s that Brandon dude,” AJ muttered, but I was already moving toward them.

  I was across the bar and had the fucker by the throat before I even realized what I was doing. I pulled him to his feet, and the guy’s eyes widened in shock and fear as I slammed his back against the wall. Every other voice in the bar stopped, all eyes now on me, but my eyes were on the chick, taking in her outfit, which caused my rage to boil another ten degrees hotter.

  What the ever-loving fuck was Kassa wearing? Where the hell had she bought that sexy top, and why had Alicia allowed her to buy it in the first damn place?

  “Gray!” she cried, jumping to her feet and tugging on the arm that was pinning her date to the wall by his throat. “Stop it!”

  “Are you hurt?” I growled, taking her hand in my free one and examining her wrist.

  There were red marks from his fingers where he had touched her, which drove me closer to the edge of insanity. Someone had put his hands on my little caterpillar. Those red marks would leave bruises.

  “I’m fine,” she said, trying to assure me, but when I touched one of the bright-red spots, she flinched. “Gray, don’t do this,” she pleaded. “I’m fine. He didn’t hurt me.”

  The guy was clawing at my hand, wheezing as he tried to suck in oxygen I refused to allow him. I lifted her hand and touched it to my lips before turning my eyes on the guy who had dared to touch what was mine.

  “You touch her again—fuck, you even look at her again—and I will break your neck. Hear me?”

  His eyes were about to bug out of his head, but he nodded frantically. After squeezing his throat one more time to emphasize my threat, I released him. He fell on his ass at my feet, sucking in one rough gasp of air after another. He looked pathetic there, but my gaze went back to Kassa, who was anxious beside me, her hand held gently in my own.

  “Let’s go,” I commanded. I was still shaking with rage and knew that, if I didn’t get away from the guy soon, I was going to do more than just threaten him. I wanted to pummel his face, give him a few bruises of his own so that, when he looked in the mirror, he would remember what happened when he hurt something precious.

  Kassa didn’t argue or pull her hand from mine, even though I was holding on to it gently enough that she could have pulled away any time she wanted. AJ was where I had left him at the bar, still sipping his beer as he watched us. The place was still quiet, but I barely noticed it or felt their eyes as we walked away from the man on the floor.

  I went back to AJ, tossed a few bills onto the counter to cover our drinks, and left without a word to him or anyone else. Kassa quietly walked beside me as I pulled her toward her car. I unlocked it and opened her door, holding on to her hand until she was seated. Stepping back, I carefully closed the door and went around to the driver’s side. She remained quiet as I drove us home, the car full of the leftover rage still flooding through me. I watched her out of the corner of my eye, saw the way she cradled her wrist in her hand and how she flinched whenever she touched one of the angry, red spots on her flesh.

  I pulled her car into the garage a few minutes later and turned it off, but we just sat there, neither of us attempting to move to get out.

  “What happened?” I demanded in a quiet voice that defied the rage that wanted free reign.

  “He seemed nice at the gym the last few weeks, but I had been turning him down when he’d asked me out. But then Alicia encouraged me to give him a chance and so I said yes the last time.” She shrugged. “But he was different tonight. He got mad when I didn’t laugh at his stupid joke, and things went downhill from th
ere. I was leaving when he grabbed me.”

  “Was he drinking?”

  She nodded, and I clenched my eyes closed, picturing all the times my father had pulled the Jekyll and Hyde bit on my mother. When he hadn’t been drinking, he had actually been an all right kind of man. But, after a few drinks, he would become a monster.

  Kassa had been out with a man like that. She could have ended up just like my mother.

  Suddenly, I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t make my lungs fucking work as the panic of picturing Kassa in that kind of position stole the air from my lungs.

  SEVENTEEN

  Kassa

  Gray’s face became pale as he struggled to suck in a deep enough breath. I knew what was happening to him, could see the panic on his face, and was at a loss for how to help him.

  I touched his cheek because that had worked in the past, but right then, it did nothing to help him. “Gray,” I called and cupped his face between my hands. “Hey, I’m okay,” I said to assure him.

  But he only closed his eyes, tuning me out.

  “Gray,” I pleaded. “Look at me. I’m okay, babe. I’m right here with you. Safe. We’re safe. You protected me. I…” Tears spilled from my eyes because I didn’t seem to be getting through to him.

  Scared and hurting for him, I wrapped my arms around his neck and touched my lips to his. It was just a quick brush of my lips over his, to try to bring him back to me, but it had an immediate effect on him. On both of us. My entire body caught fire at that innocent brush of lips on lips.

  Gray went completely still, before his eyes slowly opened. He looked down at me, and the fear and rage faded right before my eyes, only for his gaze to fill up with a hunger that seemed to suddenly consume him as it filled the car with tension that sparked brightly as our eyes stayed locked.