Heart and Soul

  Then she closed her phone and waited for the next bus.

  That night, as she was going to bed, Fiona realized that she had no feelings at all about the dead Shane. She had hardly any memory of their time together or why she had loved him so much. It was impossible to remember why someone could love so madly, so one-sidedly. It must mean that she had been insane for a whole part of her life.

  Father Flynn was showing off his hall proudly. He was explaining to a young Polish couple that his first wedding would take place at the end of August, a marriage between a young doctor and a nurse from the heart clinic and they had given permission for this couple and another pair to come to the wedding and see if they liked it all.

  “They must be generous people.” The couple were surprised.

  “They are good people, yes. And the caterers are marvelous. You'd love them.”

  “They might be very expensive.”

  “No, I think not. They did a great buffet for a Slovakian christening. Unspeakable char-grilled vegetables—none of the people had ever seen them before, but in the end everyone was delighted with it.”

  “And perhaps we can make some decorations for the hall. You have nice curtains, but not many pictures.”

  “We had a lovely Polish girl, Ania, who worked here with us, but sadly she's gone back home.”

  “Maybe she is very happy there,” the young couple suggested.

  “Maybe …” said Father Flynn, who had heard a fair amount of the story from Johnny, Declan and Fiona. Wherever Ania was, he didn't think she was very happy.

  Ania was, in fact, in discussion with Lech, one of her brothers-in-law. They were going to remodel the shop for Mamusia. They would make a big, long window here and put two garments in it. A friend would write the sign.

  “You worked very hard to make all this money, Ania.”

  “She deserves it. I disgraced her.”

  “That's all in your mind. You weren't the only one that Marek fooled. He's in jail now. Did you know?”

  “No, I didn't know.” She was startled that she didn't feel anything at all at this news. Neither relieved nor upset. Just indifferent.

  Lech had his metal measuring tape out and was writing down figures in his notebook. Ania looked out and prayed that this would work. She hoped so much that ladies who wanted a spring outfit would come up this hill and consult with her mother. Everything would have been worth it then. Yes, even all her mistakes.

  There was somebody coming up the hill as she watched. A man with a bag on his back. He paused now and then to look around him, to take it all in. She looked again.

  It was.

  It was Carl.

  • • •

  Amy said that she liked working in the clinic. There was a good atmosphere. “I hope that this Ania never comes back. I hope she meets a rich Pole there who owns a dozen restaurants. Then I can go on working here until I die,” she said to Clara.

  “I wouldn't bet on it, Amy,” Clara said. “I hear that her fellow went out there after her. We could look up any minute and she might be right there, at that door.”

  “The nonsensical things people do for love,” Amy said.

  “I know! Isn't it just? Are you still with your fellow, Ben, the nice embalmer?”

  “Yes, I am, as it happens. Fancy you remembering.”

  “Oh, I remember. I liked him.”

  “I suppose you and he being vaguely in the same business, you had quite a lot in common,” Amy agreed.

  If Clara was disturbed to be considered in the same line of business as an embalmer, she showed nothing.

  “Does your dad get on with him?”

  “I don't think he knows what to talk to him about. He's always afraid that Ben will start to talk about dead bodies, which he rarely does. Anyway, Dad's all caught up with your woman nowadays.”

  “My woman?”

  “You know, Mrs. Thing, from Lilac Court.”

  “Claire Cotter! Never!”

  “Is she awful?” Amy asked eagerly.

  “No, she's marvelous. Ideal for him, actually.” And Clara was relieved to find that she actually meant it.

  “Okay, if you say so. I'll look at her with warmer eyes.”

  Fiona listened as Bobby said Carl had taken a few days off school unexpectedly and he hoped the boy was all right.

  “You know, Bobby, I never met a fellow that was more all right than Carl. I wish I had had a teacher like him when I was at school.”

  “It's just that he's probably taking time off to think about his life. You know, he's at the age he should be having his own home. Like you are, Fiona.” Bobby admired the opal ring.

  “Like I am,” Fiona said in an oddly quiet tone.

  “Will we go shopping for wedding outfits?” Fiona's mother suggested on Thursday, when the stores stayed open late.

  “I'll go and look for something for you, Mam.”

  “It is customary for the bride to dress up too,” her mother said.

  “Ania will make my dress. It was all arranged.”

  “But isn't she …”

  “Yes, she is, but she'll be back,” Fiona said.

  Fiona received a text message from Ania: “Mamusia and I spent a long time thinking about your wedding dress. I know what will look wonderful on you. Will you trust us? You will be the most beautiful bride in Ireland. I am happy in my heart. Love, Ania.”

  Barbara was going to lose fourteen pounds for the wedding.

  It was realistic, she said, as she ate an egg sandwich filled with butter and mayonnaise. Two pounds a week was the recommended weight loss.

  Molly Carroll and Maureen Ryan were going to a place called Big Day that specialized in Mother of the Bride outfits.

  They were now firm friends and had urged each other not to go to town, not to be too fussy, not to be over the top.

  Their husbands knew this was only a rallying cry to go completely mad.

  They were discussing getting shoes dyed, coordinating handbags and having a professional makeup person on the day.

  The twins were sick with excitement. They begged Cathy and Tom for some help.

  “Why should we help you to do a rival gig?” Tom asked jokingly.

  Cathy knew that you never joked with Maud and Simon. “Sure we'll come along and look at the place,” she said.

  “It's not really a rival operation …” Simon began.

  “They wouldn't be able to afford you two …” Maud agreed.

  “The groom spent all the money on an opal ring.” Simon was censorious.

  “So there's not a lot left over for the catering, you see.” Maud wanted there to be no gray areas.

  “Show us the place and we'll tell you what you need.” Cathy cut across the ever-increasing complications of any conversation with Maud and Simon. “Show us the venue, kids, and bring a notebook,” she said.

  Vonni had booked her ticket to Ireland. She showed it to Andreas.

  “Come with me, old friend,” she entreated.

  “No. You won't marry me, why should I go halfway across the world to be your escort at a wedding party?”

  “Andreas, we would be mad to get married. I need you, Andreas. I might go back on the drink unless you're there.”

  “No, you won't. You didn't drink in Ireland before. Why would you start now?”

  “I might become unhinged.”

  “No. It was my country and my countrymen that unhinged you. You've recovered now.”

  “We never really recover.”

  “Well, you're as near to it as anyone I know,” Andreas said, patting her on the hand.

  David Fine's mother was surprised that he was going to Ireland to a wedding.

  “Was that the girl who came here when your father was diagnosed?” she asked.

  “That's right, Mother. Fiona.”

  “I thought at the time that you two were sweet on each other.”

  “Oh, no, not at all. She was in love with a madman back then, but fortunately she got over him,” Davi
d explained.

  “So she's not marrying the madman, then?”

  “No, marriage was the last thing he had in mind.”

  “Will it be a Catholic wedding, do you think?”

  “Almost certainly.”

  “You'll need someone to mark your card, David, when to stand and sit and kneel.”

  “Oh, I'll watch the others,” David said airily.

  “And will it be a fancy wedding, do you think?”

  “I have no idea. She's marrying a doctor. He's got red hair and is very kind. She sounds highly excited.”

  “Of course she's excited,” David's mother said. “Isn't she marrying a doctor?”

  “We should send flowers to the wedding,” Elsa said.

  “Imagine. Vonni going back to Ireland for it,” Tom said.

  “I wish we could be there. Where will we send the flowers, do you think?” Elsa asked.

  “She mentions a church near the Liffey I guess the florist would know,” Tom said.

  “Or we have her home address.”

  “I'm glad she's happy,” said Tom. “This fellow sounds a much better bet.”

  “Almost anyone in the world would be a better bet than Shane,” Elsa said.

  Bobby Walsh knew more about what was going on than most people thought. But he didn't confront Rosemary with this information. Instead, he arranged to rent a flat for his son. It was nearer the city and would be handier for Carl going to the school where he taught. Nearer for Ania too. Little by little he had pieced it all together from what this one and that one said. And mainly from what people didn't say.

  Johnny in the exercise room, had told him most. And that new girl, Amy, who was dressed so oddly and doing Ania's job, she had revealed that the Polish girl had gone home in a rage because some old bat had thought she was the hired help at a party when the son of the house had invited her as his guest.

  Bobby's face burned with shame, but this wasn't the time to face Rosemary down.

  And Bobby knew something that nobody else knew. He knew that Carl and Ania were coming back on Saturday.

  He had already texted Carl about the apartment. It was furnished. They could walk straight in when they got back. It was theirs for a year until they had decided where they would like to go.

  Then Bobby would buy them a place. He was going to sell that big house by the sea. There were far too many steps. The estate agent was looking for a mews. He hadn't told any of this to Rosemary yet, but he would when the time was right.

  The time was right on Friday. They were in the kitchen before dinner. Rosemary had come home with some mackerel.

  “I thought we'd make that bloody woman's recipe,” she said.

  “She's not a bloody woman. She's called Lavender and she's a helpful, kind person who's showing us how to eat properly.”

  “Okay, it's only a form of words.”

  “Not a very good one,” he said.

  “Don't come after me, Bobby. I've had a tough day”

  “So have I.”

  “You've had a tough day? What have you done? You don't even go upstairs anymore!”

  “True.”

  “So tell me about your tough day.” She looked very angry.

  “Well, I looked through what seems like a thousand flats on a laptop before choosing one to rent for Carl. Then I went through a tedious amount of description about this house with the intention of putting it on the market.”

  “You are never thinking of selling this house!”

  “Yes, that's exactly what I am going to do.”

  “Without consulting me?”

  “I was waiting for you to come home, Rosemary, before going ahead finally. Now that I've told you, I can call them.”

  “Bobby, have you gone completely mad? You can't get a flat for Carl. We don't even know where he is.”

  “I do, Rosemary. He's in Poland.”

  “He's where?” She looked ashen.

  “Yes.”

  “He went after that little tramp. I don't believe it. It's impossible. He must see that.”

  “She's not a tramp. She's his girlfriend.”

  “Well, I may have spoken a bit in haste.”

  Silence from Bobby.

  “And I am prepared to admit this to Carl when he returns to his senses.”

  More silence.

  “So is all this silly protest over?”

  “There's no silly protest.” He spoke slowly.

  “So why wasn't I consulted about this?” She looked at him, horrified.

  “Because you're not involved in this anymore,” Bobby Walsh said.

  “Why?” Rosemary begged.

  “You must know why by now,” her husband said sadly.

  A couple of days later Fiona saw in the papers that the body of the young man had been identified as that of Shane O'Leary. The deceased had apparently taken a lethal dose of drugs and was identified by his mother due to a tip-off to the Guards. His father had died some years ago as a result of an accident in the construction industry.

  Mr. O'Leary had been traveling on the Continent in Europe. His family hadn't been aware that he'd returned to Ireland. He was the eldest of four boys. The premises where his body was discovered were a vacant flat in a house that was in need of renovation. It wasn't known how the deceased had come to be there.

  Fiona read the short item over and over.

  She hadn't known that Shane had any younger brothers. He had told her nothing about his father being killed. He said the old man had gone off to England and abandoned them all.

  What had his mother thought when the Guards came to her door?

  His brothers must still be young, at school even. How had they felt at the death of their absent brother?

  She was puzzled that none of these questions meant anything to her. She didn't care about the answers. It was as if she was reading about a total stranger. Yet this was the man she had left home with to tour the world. The man whose child she had been expecting with joy.

  Shane had hit her and she had miscarried, but even then she had believed he would come back to her and that they would spend their lives together. Had she been insane?

  Although Fiona had not one feeling left for Shane O'Leary, she still had a lot of questions that needed answering.

  Questions about herself. Like was she capable of having any normal relationship with any man whatsoever? She twisted her ring around and around on her finger. Nothing seemed real anymore.

  She hoped that neither her mother nor Barbara would see the item in the newspaper. She didn't want to talk about it or even think about it anymore.

  Father Flynn decided that he couldn't go through with this shebeen mentality about people smuggling drink into his hall. Either he was responsible enough to run a function or he wasn't. A wedding day was too important to let any question mark hang over it.

  He read the terms of the recent Health Acts. All it involved was that he applied for a license to the HSE, the Health and Safety Executive. They would grant it and then there would be no hole-in-the-wall behavior. Not everyone agreed with him.

  Johnny said it would halve the price of drink if they got it on sale at a supermarket. James said that you never knew where you were with those guys. Brian might meet the bureaucratic official from hell.

  Father Brian tried to discuss it with Fiona, but he could sense she wasn't interested. She was looking through him without seeing him at all or listening to what he said.

  Molly and Maureen had got very satisfactory outfits in Big Day. It had been a great outing: very nice staff, with tea and sandwiches on the premises. They could have stayed there all day. They had more or less stayed all day. And the outfits weren't silly. They could be worn again and again at whatever functions turned up. Like a christening, maybe. They giggled happily.

  At Big Day the owner had said they were very relaxed compared to a lot of brides’ mothers and grooms’ mothers. She wished that all her customers were so easy to deal with. So Maureen and Molly bought more
and more and said it was the best day out they'd ever had.

  But try as they might, they couldn't make Fiona interested in the garments they had bought.

  Her mind seemed to be a million miles away.

  Ania came into the clinic on Monday.

  She looked for a long time at Amy, who was passing around mugs of coffee.

  “You must be Saint Ania, the Polish girl,” Amy said eventually.

  “And you are Amy, Peter Barry's daughter,” Ania replied.

  “So, you're back. I go. Right?”

  “I'm not Saint Ania. I am just so lucky that they will take me back.”

  “Aw, go on. They're mad about you!”

  “Did you like it here?”

  “Yes, I did.”

  “I came in through the hospital this morning. They're looking for people to work in A and E, taking records and notes to leave the nurses free to cope with what they should be doing.”

  “Is that part of Frank Ennis's territory?”

  “Yes, in that everything in the hospital is a bit.”

  “But isn't he our natural enemy?” Amy asked.

  Ania laughed. “I think I got back here just in time. You have nearly taken over already.”

  Ania and Carl couldn't believe the new apartment that Bobby had arranged for them.

  “We can't take this, Dad,” Carl said with tears in his eyes.

  “And what did I work hard all my life for, if it wasn't to give you a place to live?” Bobby beamed with pleasure.

  “But it's too much. Specially since you're going to sell the house and buy somewhere else. You don't want to have to shell out for this place as well.”

  “We can pay the rent, Bobby,” Ania said. “I will just get a few more jobs. It's not difficult.”

  “No, child, you continue to send your earnings to your mother. That's what you came here to do.”