Nikhil (Kaliszian Book 1)

  Treyvon understood what Gryf meant. While his Commander was a large male, Squad Leader Nikhil was twice his size. For a female to be afraid of Gryf, and not Nikhil, could only mean one thing. She was Nikhil's True Mate.

  "I would like to meet this female." Treyvon rose and headed for the medical wing.

  ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞

  Mac knew she needed to pull herself together. She knew she should be protesting as Nikhil stood up, tucked her safely into his arms, and carried her out of the medical unit. They'd switched back to the language she didn't understand, and she should be demanding to know what was going on. But she couldn't find the strength or desire to. It felt good to not have to be strong, to not have to hide her fear, to let someone else be in charge for a while.

  The guys had done so much for her when they didn't have to. She was their guide. She was the one that should have been stepping up and leading them, finding a way to get them home. After all, that's what she'd promised them she'd do. Take them up the mountain so they could have a 'Warrior's Weekend', and then make sure they got back down. They hadn't seen it that way. Especially after they realized what the species that took them, the Ganglians, did to females. They'd all rallied around her and Jen, protecting them, never letting the Ganglians know they were females.

  In return, Mac tried to stay strong for them, tried to help whenever she could. She had the skills to survive outside in harsh conditions, and she'd needed all those skills to help them survive. They had relied on her for that.

  Now there was someone she could rely on, and he was carrying her somewhere.

  Nikhil glared at every warrior that looked his way. They were all trying to see what was wrapped up in the blanket he was carrying, but he refused to let them. Luol had wrapped a blanket securely around his True Mate since her coverings were nearly non-existent. He would have to see what he could find for her to wear.

  "Squad Leader," a warrior approached.

  "Not now!" he growled, his arms tightening around Mackenzie, and the male quickly moved away.

  "Where are we going?" Mac asked quietly.

  "To my quarters. So you can rest without being disturbed."

  "Oh."

  Rounding one more corner, Nikhil stopped in front of his door, and shifting her slightly, pressed his palm against the access panel. The door silently opened, and he took his True Mate inside.

  Mac pulled down the edge of the blanket that had been partially covering her face, and tried to look around, but the room was too dark.

  "Is it always like this?"

  "Like what?"

  "So dark?"

  "No, let me increase the energy crystals."

  Still carrying her, Nikhil stepped deeper into the room and waved his hand over a bowl of crystals, and the room began to brighten.

  "Better?" he asked.

  "Yes, thank you."

  For several minutes Nikhil just stood there, holding her as he gazed down at her.

  "Umm, Nikhil?"

  "Yes, Little One."

  "Are you ever going to put me down?"

  "Only if that is what you wish."

  "I think you should. I have to be getting heavy."

  "You could never get too heavy for me to hold," he snorted at the thought, but slowly lowered her feet to the floor. Yet he couldn't bring himself to release her completely. "Luol said you should eat, rest, and cleanse. Which would you like to do first?"

  Mac's first thought was to say eat; it had been a long time since she had. The Zaludians hadn't given her anything since they'd discovered her. Punishment, they'd said. But then he said 'cleanse.'

  "Cleanse... you mean as in bathe? A shower? Getting clean?"

  "Yes."

  "Cleanse." God, how long had it been, she thought, since she'd actually bathed? The morning before she'd led them up the mountain? The Ganglians had kept them in that cage giving them very little water, and even if they had given them more, she wouldn't have risked washing in front of them. Wouldn't have risked them discovering she was female. And in the mine... there'd only been a small stream that trickled down the back wall of the cave. It had been because of that stream that she'd found the narrow crack that led to the smaller cave where her and Jen were able to hide. And while the stream was big enough for them to get some extra water to drink and cook with, it wasn't enough to cleanse.

  Just the thought of getting clean, of getting rid of all the grime and stink that clung to her body, had her trembling with need. She'd grown used to the smell. They all had. But now that she was free it suddenly overwhelmed her.

  "Where is it?" she demanded.

  "It is this way." Nikhil guided her out of the living area, through his resting area, and into his private cleansing area. Only those of the highest rank received quarters such as these, and Nikhil had almost declined the room, knowing he would rarely use it. Now he was glad he hadn't, for if he had, he would have had to take his True Mate to the large shared shower where males cleansed together. And that would never do.

  Mac barely noticed the rooms Nikhil led her through. She could investigate them later. Right now she was totally focused on finding out if this cleansing room was anything like a bathroom on Earth. A little cry of joy escaped her when she saw it was.

  "This is the cleansing room," Nikhil said stepping into the room. "And this is the cleansing unit." Mac's little cry had him spinning around. "What is wrong?"

  "Nothing's wrong!" she immediately told him, "It's a shower! How does it work?" She let the blanket around her shoulders fall away, and walked straight into the stall.

  "You press here to turn it on," he barely touched a crystal just inside the entrance of the stall, "and here to adjust the temperature." His finger moved to the next crystal. "There is cleanser on the shelf, and I will get you a cloth." He turned, retrieving a cloth from a cabinet behind him, then stilled when he turned back around.

  Mackenzie had already turned the water on and was just standing there, her upturned face letting the steady stream run over her, soaking what little covering she wore. Goddess, she took his breath away, even in this condition. He wanted to be near her, found he needed to be near her.

  "Mackenzie..." His voice was lower and rougher than he had intended.

  "Hmmm?" she asked, her face still worshiping the flow of water.

  "I cannot leave you alone... leave you to cleanse... alone. What if you were to fall?"

  Mac realized she had forgotten Nikhil was even in the room because of the incredible feel of the water flowing over her. There had been no room for modesty or privacy in that mine even though she and Jen had some in the smaller cave. Her hands quickly covered her breasts that used to be D's but were now barely there, and the wild thatch between her legs that she used to trim, even though remnants of her clothes still covered them.

  "I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. I just wanted to get clean so bad. I'll just..." she turned away from him.

  "No, I didn't mean for you to..." Nikhil ran a frustrated hand through his hair, causing his Suja beads to hit together angrily. "I am not explaining myself well. I am not used to this."

  "To what?" she asked over her shoulder.

  "Speaking to a female," he admitted. "To a beautiful female."

  "I'm not beautiful," she denied. "I'm filthy and dirty, and I stink. I've lost so much weight. I mean I know I needed to lose weight, but I never wanted to be a size zero. A size ten maybe, but still that's stretching it the way I like food."

  "You are beautiful to me... You used to be larger?" Nikhil asked hopefully. Kaliszian women were larger than Mackenzie, and taller. Not as tall as him, but a good six to eight inches taller than her, and they carried their size proudly. It was seen as an honor to carry some extra weight. It meant the female's male was able to provide for her, to see to her needs.

  "Yes." Mac frowned at how happy that seemed to make Nikhil.

  "Then we will make sure you are that way again?"

  "You want me larger?" Mac couldn't believe it. It wasn't what go
rgeous hunks on Earth wanted, at least not the ones she ever met. They'd always wanted those super-thin or super-toned women, and she had struggled with her weight all her life. She wasn't weak or lazy. After all, she spent most of her time outside hiking, biking, or being a guide on her mountain. She was active, but she just always seemed to carry this extra weight in her breasts, ass, and thighs. No matter how many diets she went on, it never went away. Her grandpa called her a full-figured girl. He would tell her that this was the way God made her, the way he wanted her, that he had a reason for her being the way she was. Maybe he was right because that extra weight had been what had helped her survive on the little food she and Jen allowed themselves. They had agreed that the guys needed larger portions than them as they were the ones working in the mine. Mac had even snuck more into Jen's bowl when she could since Jen weighed so much less than her.

  "I want you to be as the Goddess created you to be," he told her, his gaze still running over her. "What I was trying to say is that, while you have been strong enough to survive, you are now weakened. I understand why you wish to cleanse, but it will take some time, and you could tire and slip. There will also be areas you will be unable to reach. I would be honored to assist you in cleansing if you would allow it."

  Mac just looked at him for a moment then said, "You want to get naked with me?"

  "No!" he immediately denied. "I would not expect you to allow that." He barely stopped himself from saying yet. "I will leave my pants on. I only wish to be there for you, Mackenzie, to assist you. Will you allow it?"

  Mac didn't realize she'd turned to face Nikhil as he spoke, her thin wet coverings clinging to her like a second skin. The thought of sharing a shower with him, of him touching her. It had her breath catching for some reason. Well not for some reason. She knew the reason. He was gorgeous. Different than anyone she'd ever met. Yes, he was large, extremely large, but she wasn't intimidated by his size. Maybe if she had met him before being taken she would be, but now his size made her feel safe, and she hadn't felt that way in a very long time.

  "I would allow it." She reached out to grip his hand. "And the honor is mine, Nikhil. Thank you."

  Nikhil closed his eyes at her touch, then after handing her the cleaning cloth, stepped back and started removing his uniform.

  Mac knew she should be using the cloth to start cleaning herself. It was why she went into the cleansing unit fully clothed in the first place because she wanted to get all the Ganglian and Zaludian grime off her. But she found she couldn't pull her gaze away from the prime specimen of man stripping before her.

  Nikhil started at his feet, undoing the straps on the snug, over-the-calf boots he was wearing. Toeing them off, he pulled out weapons she hadn't even known were there, setting them behind him on the counter, before kicking the boots aside. His hands then went to the buckle that crossed the front of his tight black pants hanging low on his hips. She held her breath. She wasn't going to remind him that he planned to leave those on. When the buckle released, it was the blaster on his right thigh that released, and he set it behind him. Next came the array of blades strapped to both his massive arms and they joined the other weapons on the counter. Finally, he removed his vest, revealing what little of his massive chest it had been able to cover, and it fell unheeded to the floor.

  "Is there something wrong, Mackenzie?" he asked stepping into the shower.

  "I... what... no," she stuttered. "Why would you think that?"

  "Because you are not cleansing. Are you feeling ill? Weak?" He took the cloth from her hand. "Here, rest against me."

  Mac offered no resistance as Nikhil's large, calloused hands lightly cupped her shoulder blades, pulling her near so she could rest her head on his chest.

  "Will you allow me to cleanse your hair?" he asked quietly.

  "My hair?" Mac looked up at him, her chin resting on his chest.

  "I know it is asking much when we have just met."

  "Are you sure you want to?" she questioned. "It's a tangled mess. It might just be easier to cut it off."

  "No!" Nikhil's instant denial boomed off the walls of the cleansing room causing her to jump. "I am sorry, Little One," he was instantly contrite. "I did not mean to cause you fear."

  "You didn't. You just startled me. Why does the thought of me cutting my hair upset you so?"

  "Because it is not done."

  "Kaliszians don't have short hair?" she asked, her gaze traveled over his hair that only covered the center of his head before it flowed down his back in long thin braids with beads attached.

  "No. One’s hair is cut only if they have committed the most heinous of crimes."

  "Oh."

  "So would you allow me the honor of cleansing your hair?" he asked again. "I would never do so without your permission."

  Mac frowned at his words. Why would he consider it an honor to wash her hair? But she could see he wouldn't do it if it made her uncomfortable.

  "I would allow it, Nikhil. I just hope you don't regret doing it. It hasn't been brushed since the Ganglians took us from Earth."

  Nikhil had filled his hand with cleansing liquid, eager to perform such an intimate act for his True Mate, when her last words had him stilling.

  "Ganglians..." he growled. "The Ganglians took you from your home world?"

  "Yes. Didn't you know that?"

  "No. The Ganglians..."

  "I know what Ganglians do to females, Nikhil," she whispered.

  "Luol said you weren't abused that way," he growled back, his need to protect her surging through him.

  "I wasn't." She put a calming hand on his suddenly heaving chest. "The guys protected me. They made sure the Ganglians didn't know that I and... that I was female," she stuttered over her words.

  "You were not..."

  "No! No, Nikhil, I wasn't raped."

  "Thank the Goddess," he whispered shakily, finding he didn't know what he would have done if she had been. Forcing his hands to unclench, he began caring for his True Mate. "Lean against me, Mackenzie. I will care for you, and vow to make sure you never have to fear again."

  Mac was about to tell him he couldn't promise something like that, but then his fingers sunk into her dirty, matted hair to massage her scalp, and all she could do was moan in pleasure.

  "Oh, Nikhil, that feels so good."

  "Then I will continue to do so, Little One. You just close your eyes and enjoy."

  Mac did just that. Her chin remained on his chest as her hands drifted down his sides until they came to rest on his pant-encased hips.

  Nikhil couldn't believe the honor his True Mate was giving him. For a Kaliszian, one’s hair was almost a sacred thing, for it is where their Suja beads lived. Where their place in society was revealed, along with their lineage, and their personal achievements. The beads alone decided where they settled, their height displaying the worth of those that wore them. Only the closest or most intimate to a Kaliszian was ever allowed to wash another's hair. The only one Nikhil had ever allowed to do this was his mother, and that had been years ago. For Mackenzie to allow him this honor humbled him.

  "Tip your head back, Little One," he murmured, and his heart beat faster when she didn't hesitate to obey him, and he rinsed part of the filth away.

  "Have you gotten it clean already?"

  "No. I am sorry. I did not mean to fail you.'"

  "What?" Her head whipped up, her eyes flying open. "Why would you say that?!! Why would you even think that?!!"

  "You wished your hair to be clean in one cleansing, and I did not do that."

  "Nikhil," her hands reached up, gripping his cheeks, forcing him to look into her eyes. "It was a question, not a criticism. If anyone could have gotten my hair clean in one washing, I know it would be you."

  "You truly believe this?" His dimly glowing eyes searched hers.

  "I do."

  "Would you allow me to cleanse your hair again?"

  "I would allow you to cleanse my hair and every other part of my body until t
here's not a speck of that grime left on me."

  "I will not fail you, this time, Little One."

  "Nikhil," she stilled his hand from getting more cleansing gel. "You could never fail me." Releasing his hand, she let her chin return to his chest and closed her eyes.

  Nikhil looked down at the little female in his arms. When had he ever been trusted so completely? Believed in so completely? It was then he realized he already loved this little female... completely.

  It took three more cleansings for Nikhil to finally remove the last speck of dirt from his True Mate's hair, and once it was done, he was stunned. "It's beautiful," he whispered in awe, never having felt such thick, silky hair before, or seen so much of it. Not only did it cover the top of her head and run down her back, as a Kaliszians did, but it also covered the sides of her head.

  "Hmmm?" Mac hummed, having been lulled nearly to sleep by Nikhil's attentions.

  "Your hair, it is beautiful."

  "I think you're overusing that word." Opening her eyes, she gave him a teasing smile. "It's just brown hair."

  "I do not overuse the word, and if your hair is just brown, then it is just every shade of brown known in the universes from darkest to lightest, all mixed up together. And that, my Mackenzie, is beautiful."

  Mac stared up at Nikhil in shock. She’d never heard her hair described in such a way. Yes, she knew her hair had different shades of brown in it, but that was because she was out in the sun so much and parts of it had faded. At least, that was how she saw it. Nikhil obviously saw it in an entirely different way.

  "I... Thank you, Nikhil."

  "I just speak truth. Now let me tend to the rest of you." Reaching for the cloth he had set aside to cleanse her hair, he gently began to remove the dirt from her face that the water hadn't already taken care of.

  "How bad is it?" Mac asked, keeping her face tipped up to his.

  "It is beautiful."

  This time, when he used that word, Mac pinched one of the prevalent muscles at his waist, hard, causing him to jerk slightly.

  "Why did you do that?!!" he demanded.

  "Because you used that word again and you are lying," she told him angrily. She didn't need him to keep trying to placate her with pretty words. She wasn't beautiful, had never been beautiful, and after the blows the Zaludians had landed on her face, knew she never would be.