Past Be Damned

  He nodded his head. “I see.”

  Thaddeus, Aidan, the no-named third person, and the man I’d not yet met all entered the kitchen. Eric cleared his throat. “You know Thaddeus and Aidan. That’s Noah,” he pointed to the man I’d run from. “And Brody.”

  I extended my hand to Brody, who stared at it for a second like he’d never seen one before. Then he took it for a brief second and quickly shook. He stepped back, letting go of my hand and nearly colliding with the table in the process.

  “I saw you all practicing.” I wasn’t exactly sure why I said that, but I needed to say something. The silence was deafening.

  “We were guards,” Thaddeus crossed to the icebox and pulled out some water. “It’s been a long time since any of us practiced like that. Eric here managed to get himself out of do it today.” He sipped his water. “Not tomorrow.”

  Eric ran a hand through his hair. “Right.”

  “Oh.” Well that was different. They were here because they were guards. It all made total sense. There were five of them. “Do you want to go help? I’m sure you could split up and join in with Daniella and Anne’s guys.”

  Aidan shook his head. “If our Sister isn’t participating, then neither are we.”

  That was confusing. Maybe they were here to help with the new women? I’d asked about this, and I still wasn’t clear. “The two Sisters who are here? Do you belong to one of them? The new women Anne is keeping secluded?”

  Noah leaned against the wall. “No.”

  Well, that was that then. The large group of guards and their two sisters exited the house and headed toward the front gate. Through the window, I watched them go. Whenever this happened, I couldn’t help but feel... useless, like there was something else I should be doing for the world that I wasn’t.

  I pressed my hand against the windowpane.

  “Are you okay?” Brody joined me at the window. “I mean, is there anything you need?”

  “Ah, no. Feeling foolish, that’s all.” I turned around. “Let’s see if we can make Eric’s lunch keep until dinner, shall we?”

  Being busy made the time pass.

  “Who rang the bell?” Eric asked from the stove. “I mean, whose job is that?”

  “He’s a young boy from one of the local towns. His name is Alexander. He lives here. That’s his job.”

  Thaddeus rubbed his chin. “That’s a smart move. Those bells could be heard for long distances, I’d bet. Reminds the people around you are here and you care. Reputation building.”

  He was probably right. “I don’t really know. I think Anne just wanted him to have a job so he’d feel safe and important. He’s an orphan, and he was thrown out of the orphanage for being possessed. He’s lived here since Anne saved him. He goes to school with her daughters in this little place in the back of the house.”

  Aidan jumped up on the counter. “Who teaches them?”

  “I do, two days a week, Anne two days, and Daniella once.” I looked down. “I’m not sure why they thought I’d be good at it, but I am.”

  “Of course you are.” Noah left his position at the wall to stand in front of the other window. “Reading? Literature? Writing? Is that your job?”

  My mind whirled. “How did you know?” The five of them in the kitchen seemed to shrink the space around me.

  Noah wore a hint of a smile. “I bet you’re really, really good at that.”

  He was right. But the question remained: how did he know? I wasn’t going to ask. I hoped these guards wouldn’t be around very long. They weren’t good for my nerves. They took up all the air in the room.

  I sat in my bed. When the third dong signaled the darkest part of the night, I really started to worry. The Sisters had never been out this long on a job without warning us. I pulled my blanket around my shoulders and left the safety of my bed to wander the house. I didn’t know what I would do, exactly, but sitting still and waiting wasn’t working for me. Maybe I would organize the laundry.

  I nearly tripped over Brody’s long legs. He sat against the wall at the end of the hallway. He jumped when I stumbled, and with far more grace than I, caught me before I could face plant into the wooden floor.

  “Whoa. Sorry.”

  I pulled away once I was steady. “Thank you.” I took a deep breath. “What are you doing down there?”

  “I just needed to be here.” The shadows hid his expression, but he raked a hand through his hair and glanced toward the candle burning at the end of the hall. It was low. “Three dongs. Usually gone this long?”

  “No.” The night was quiet, but I wasn’t alone anymore. No matter why he had to be there, I was glad for some company. “I wish I understood it more. What do you suppose they’re doing?”

  “Well, the Sisters are fighting. Hard. They’re speaking languages their men can’t understand. They’re pushing the darkness that are demons away and saying—not tonight, go away. Be gone. Their guards are wishing they could do more. They’re feeling ineffectual, but they keep everything away. Minor demons. Possessed people. Crazed mobs. Whatever. They keep them away from their Sister.”

  I leaned my head against the wall. “The way you say their, it’s so possessive. I think you loved yours. Or still love her. Like Daniella and Anne have with their guards.”

  “We’re supposed to feel that way. It’s fated. Katrina and her Sisterhood screws with that, but the love remains there, just the same. To answer your question, I love my Sister more than could even have been destined with Fate. She is perfection.”

  I sucked in a breath. “No one is perfection.”

  The low-lit candle down the hall flickered, casting us both in long shadows that moved slowly over the walls.

  He shook his head. “One person is.”

  I jumped as the metal gate outside collided with the side, indicating it had been pushed open too fast and with no one controlling it. Shouts sounded in the night.

  “They’re not happy. Something’s wrong.” Brody abandoned his position and ran down the stairs. I followed in his wake.

  Lights were being lit all over the house. Our other Sisterhood had electricity. This far out in the Deadlands, sometimes things just didn’t work. Oil lamps worked when nothing else would. Steam powered things when we could get it to work.

  Bryant laid Anne out on the dining room table. She groaned before rocking her head back and forth.

  I gasped and ran to her. “How badly is she hurt?”

  “Two demons inside of her,” Mason answered, nodding toward Garrett. “We need to get them out.”

  Daniella walked in the room. “I’ve been trying for hours, and I can’t do it. We need a more powerful Sister.”

  The ones cloistered away. “Which one of them can do it?”

  She shook her head. “Neither of them. There’s only one Sister I’ve ever known who could have managed this, and I know she wouldn’t let Anne die if she could help.”

  “I thought there were rules.” When had Thaddeus gotten here? He stayed back a bit, watching from the doorway. “She didn’t specifically say she wanted to return if we were back. Did she specifically say she wanted to return to save Anne?”

  His tone could best be described as hostile, and it matched the slope of his eyebrows and the tic in his jaw. I glanced from Thaddeus to Daniella.

  Daniella stalked toward him, her men moving like a phalanx, prepared to defend her from the threat that might be Thaddeus. As if on cue, Aidan, Noah, Eric, and Brody all took space up around Thaddeus. Were they about to fight?

  Sister Daniella threw her hands in the air. “Maybe I just know her better than you, and maybe I would be more interested in helping you had you not abandoned her for five years.”

  Aidan leaned forward. “Lady, we have the deepest respect for Sisters. But if you say that again, I’m going to lose it. Trust me, there is nothing you could say to us that hasn’t gone through our own heads. Am I clear?”

  “We don’t have time for this.” Daniella strode toward me and took
my hand. I would have pulled back—I really didn’t like to be touched—but she held it tight. “Listen to me, I need you to help me.”

  I nodded. “How can I help you, Sister Daniella? Tell me what it is, and I’ll do it.”

  She sighed. “I know you would. This is going to sound strange. I need you to just do it. Okay?”

  Suddenly, Noah was by my side, his hand on my back. “Will it hurt?”

  “Will what hurt?” I sucked in my breath.

  Daniella didn’t respond to my question. “Close your eyes.”

  I did as she asked. All I could feel was the slight pressure of Noah’s hand on my back. It was odd. Even though I didn’t know him, I leaned into the sensation, as though my body remembered doing so before, which was impossible. Anne screamed on the table. “I’m getting her hands,” Milo shouted. “I’m not going to let her claw at her face.”

  “She had an Original in her, and it didn’t hurt her this much for months,” Kieran called out.

  Daniella’s tone pleaded with me to listen. “Please.”

  She spoke in a language I couldn’t understand and warmth moved through me. It was a small heaviness at first, but soon it filled me. Faces, voices, noises, and even smells banged within my head. Pounding started between my eyes. I tried to grab my hand back from Daniella, but she held on. The agony was such I had to give up trying.

  Anne cried out again and again. Soon, I joined her.

  Monsters.

  There were demons everywhere. They surrounded me, pounded on my body. They wanted me dead. I fought back. Time and again, and each time I wasn’t alone. I had help.

  Thaddeus, Aidan, Noah, Eric and Brody. I knew them. They were alive. But there was so much more. The mine. Being chained. Beaten. Alone, terrified. Anne came. My memories came in quick and flashing bursts.

  When my knees would have given out, Noah held me. And then it was over. My dormant powers shattered the dam holding them back and threatened to overwhelm me.

  There were demons in our house. There were demons in my friend. I shoved away from Noah. The how and why and what in the hell would have to wait until later. I turned to Daniella. “I never wanted this back. This wasn’t the deal. You left me an ability to choose to come back. I didn’t choose this.” The wild darkness I’d feared utterly losing myself to swarmed along with my power. The void, so much stronger than before, clawed at me. I held up my hand to silence Daniella’s protest. “Obviously I want to help Anne.” But I might never forgive Daniella.

  “Teagan,” Thaddeus tried to get my attention, but I ignored him. They were back. A miracle to be certain, but it also begged the question... where the hell had they been?

  I walked toward Anne. Sadness from both the Sister and the two demons inside of her washed through me. This was insane. There were two of them in there?

  “Over there,” Thaddeus spoke behind me. He was getting the guys into place like I needed them.

  When I’d pictured seeing them again—over the years, when I’d let myself imagine such a thing could be possible—I’d never expected that the resounding emotion moving through me wouldn’t be joy. I’d longed for them. I should have been thrilled. The darkness twined around me, a network of connections left to grow into all the shadowy corners. It choked away the desire they should elicit. Smothered even the memory of love. I’d grieved them. Now, I didn’t want to even have them around.

  Fury crested on the rising tide. Red discolored my vision. They’d abandoned me.

  I put my hand on Anne. “Thaddeus, I don’t need protection from this. I took care of myself for five years alone, and another year with Anne and Daniella. You can back off.”

  “We’re here, sweetheart. We’re not going anywhere. We’re protecting you.”

  For a man who claimed to detest nicknames, he was always giving them to me. I hated hearing it spoken from his mouth. “From what? The kitchen table?”

  Finished with the conversation, I set my hands on Anne and wrested the darkness into a second hold. I needed all the light for our Sister Superior. “Can you hear me, friend? This nightmare is going to stop, now. You and me? We keep meeting over demons.”

  Daniella laughed then groaned from behind me. I’d wanted a response from Anne but that was neither here nor there. “This whole day is out of hand.”

  The language of the divine coated my tongue. “You foul creatures. I don’t know how you got in there, but you aren’t staying.”

  Unlike lots of Sisters, I could see the demons inside of Anne along with her soul, as though they were three separate entities instead of the one the other Sisters could make out. Everyone’s gift was different. This was my strength, such as it was.

  Coldness moved through my hands. The sadness was almost overwhelming, not just Anne’s because she was once again sharing her body with a demon, but from the demons themselves.

  Still, they hissed and cursed at me. They resembled snakes more than anything else. Snakes with legs. Snakes with beady red eyes.

  I stretched magical muscles, rusty from disuse. Creating a loop of my essence, I flung it within Anne and ensnared one of the demons. Yanking it out, I unleashed the darkness. It consumed the demon.

  That was new. And concerning. This is what I had feared I was capable of doing. Using the darkness should not be something I could do.

  The second one wouldn’t be quite as easy. He was a bigger deal.

  I’d always known what to say to them. Part of my gift, I supposed. A wave of sheer desperation washed through me. “You did this on purpose. You both took her together because you knew someone would do this to you, end the pain. I don’t know if divinity will forgive you. But I do. I forgive you. Goodbye.”

  I created a second lasso, brilliant with light—and rippling with shadow. The second demon fought even as I tightened the power into a noose. Drawing it out, I freed Anne and the second beast shredded. I’d been possessed many times while I was in the mine. I could get them out of myself. No one else I’d ever heard of could. Anne’s eyes flew open, and her arms came around me. She held on, shaking.

  “I don’t know how they got in.”

  I squeezed her back. “It doesn’t matter.”

  In the past, one demon removal would have been the end of me. I’d have rested for days. Now, even a year later, I wasn’t even winded.

  “Did you choose to come back?” Anne still hadn’t let go.

  “Sure.” She didn’t need to know the truth. Sister Superior would blame herself. “You need to go rest.” I stepped back. “Bryant?”

  Her number One picked Anne up and took her from the room. Milo, Kieran, and Garrett followed in his wake. Mason stopped and smiled at me. “Thank you, Sister Teagan. Welcome back.” He glanced behind me at something. I guessed it was my guards, but I didn’t need to check. Mason’s gaze met mine again. “You always were the bravest of us all.”

  Daniella embraced me from the side. “Forgive me?”

  The darkness swirled within me, the ebb and flow splashing it against the inside of my skin as though a rising tide of dark ink wanted to flood what was left of me. Pressing my cheek to Daniella’s, I found a smile. “Sure. Why not? You only kept me alive for years during my captivity. Maybe I should get into a real snit.”

  She chuckled. “I could put you back under.”

  “No,” Eric called out from behind me. “Don’t do that. Please.”

  I sucked in my breath. “I’m back, and it certainly seems like you need me around here. I still plan on keeping this place running. We need that, too.”

  She let me go. “Get some rest.”

  I didn’t turn to acknowledge my guys. There was too much to say, and it was the middle of the night. Nothing productive happened with conversations that began past midnight. Best to wait until the morning. I marched toward the stairs, taking them two at a time. The good news about having my memory back was the dim hallways couldn’t scare me. My darkness went wherever I did. Very little came up against me and lived.

  E
xcept when I was chained and whipped. The people who had claimed to have loved me, who should have stopped that, seemed like they’d been pretty well off in our time apart, with the exception of Thaddeus who wore an eye patch. They weren’t dead, beaten, and destroyed. They’d simply not come. For more than six years.

  Oh sure, they were here now. I was certain they had reasons.

  I still wanted to scream. They’d claimed to love me. They’d left me there. I wasn’t surprised when they rushed the hallways and surrounded me. Their presence prevented me from returning to my room—why? Because they had decided now they wanted to speak to me. Right. Then.

  I’d avoided eye contact earlier. The cold darkness blanketed my temper. Since they wanted to push it, I turned in a half circle. Thaddeus’ one blue eye. I’d love to know what happened to him. I wouldn’t ask, not yet anyway. Aidan’s dark blue depths. Noah’s gray secrets. Eric’s almost black gaze. Brody’s brown loveliness. There was a time I believed I could stare into their gazes forever.

  “Not tonight.” I made myself focus on Thaddeus’ eye. The others would leave if he told them to. Assuming that hadn’t changed in six years.

  He shook his head. “Teagan,” he exhaled sharply after saying my name. “Forgive me.”

  “Not tonight.” I pushed at him. I wasn’t by nature a violent person, but he’d put himself between my safe place and me. That wasn’t acceptable. “Move.”

  He glanced down before he got out of my way. I stepped past him, stopping before I entered the room. “Maybe not tomorrow either.”

  “Tomorrow, Teagan,” Brody called out. “One way or another, we need to talk.”

  We’d see. I had a lot to consider. I shut the door behind me and sank onto my bed. Okay, a year had passed since I’d asked Daniella to lock me away. I could remember all of it. I hadn’t been too pathetic, although I’d hidden in my room a lot. Things got done. I ran this place. I just hadn’t fought anything back.

  I’d been selfish in a way. I’d needed to be selfish. The cool ink seemed to slither over my skin, and I lifted a hand. The ice twined around my fingers then retreated once more. Yes, Anne required my attention. Waking me had been the right decision. A year locked away hadn’t diminished the void.