Silent Feelings

fingers smoothly moved from one string to another, like a fish swimming through water. Accidently, he stepped a foot hard on the deck and she was alarmed. She turned with an irritation evident on her face, which eventually turned into a wide grin as she met his innocent, apologetic eyes.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked, still holding the grin filled with awe.

  “I was heading home but was then helplessly pulled by some great music being played down here” he chuckled softly, “Actually, I feel that I was wrong about you earlier, you are not just awesome but far more amazing”.

  She shyly smiled “I am not that good” she said and placed her guitar beside her.

  “You are” he said “You just don’t know that yet.”

  “Thanks for all the praises” she looked at him, controlling a blush.

  He looked at her beautiful, dark eyes that were mesmerizing. He stared at them for a while as if lost, but suddenly he came to life and said, fumbling his way through, “Ma... M... May I.” He indicated at the empty space beside her.

  “Sure” she bit her lip nervously.

  Mark smiled, placed his guitar on the deck and pulled up his jeans. He then sat with both his legs dipped in the water, exactly like her.

  “Wow... so beautiful” he paused as Reena looked at him “…the lake” he pointed out, taking his eyes off her.

  “Yes” she felt the warmth in her cheeks as she said. She knew the compliment was hers’. She glanced at him from the corner of her eye and saw his hair talking to the wind, revealing his oh-so stunning looks.

  "Which song were you playing? I haven’t heard that before” he said.

  “The heart of the Sonja” she answered merrily “I named it” her voice and eyes clearly filled with excitement over her first song.

  “Wow, this girl writes as well” he nodded his head in astonishment “Any more hidden talents mam?”

  “Mmmm…. Nothing in particular….”

  He chortled “It’s ok, I will find out soon… But truly, that was some amazing music. I haven’t heard anything like this since a long time.”

  “Thank you that lie felt nice” she smiled without looking at him.

  “You’re welcome, but lying isn’t my thing”

  “Another lie” she giggled like a bird.

  “So what’s your instrument?” she asked “I see you hold a guitar too close to you always.”

  “Yes, it is my second love” he said, hugging his guitar closer.

  She was surprised, not because he called his instrument his love, which was normal for any musician. She was surprised as he called it his ‘second love’. The first one certainly had to be someone very special. She badly wanted to ask him what or rather who his first love is but she restricted herself from doing so.

  For a while, both of them viewed the vast lake and the sky, which got dimmer with every passing moment, without talking or looking at each other.

  Mark glanced at her, seeing how beautiful yet simple she was, while she saw the beautiful evening.

  Reena, on the other hand, knew that Mark was staring at her and deliberately looked at the evening sky and far away mountains, pretending to be unaware. At one moment, her eyes grew narrow and blushful by the thought of Mark staring at her, but at the other moment, it turned almost pale, fearful and distressed.

  She suddenly said “Time for me to go now” and got up hastily, picking up her guitar.

  Mark too stood up, bewildered at her sudden swing but kept his calm. He didn’t say anything at first, but after gathering his senses, asked with a gentleman’s courtesy “Can I drop you anywhere?”

  “Thanks, but I’ll walk alone, I don’t stay far” she answered, this time without a smile and without meeting his eye.

  “Sure” he smiled and waved a good-bye.

  “Bye” she waved too and walked away in the evening, which had grown darker by the time.

  Mark watched as she left, hoping for her to look back, but she didn’t. After a few steps, she disappeared in the night turned evening. Mark tried to have a glimpse but the nightfall forbade him. He pushed his hands inside the pockets and walked towards his gang, still thinking about what went wrong.

  -----

  Her white shirt flapped with the breeze as she walked along the lakeside, thinking only about the past few moments with Mark. A part of her hoped that it wasn’t just a co-incidence and that Mark had come looking for her on purpose. Another part kept silencing the first part.

  She reached home, an all glass structure in a calm neighborhood that was just ten minutes away from the lake. The entire evening, she did all the household work like laundry, cooking and other stuff. All the while she thought about the two of the most amazing coincidences of her life that happened today. She smiled at the thought of Mark, but then fought that thought out of her mind. The other part of hers continued restricting the thoughts for Mark that made her happy. She hated it but somewhere believed in it too. She didn’t know what was correct. ‘This isn’t for you’ was the only thing it kept telling her. She couldn’t sleep that night.

  The next day in the class, things were different; Mark was already there in the seat next to Reena’s.

  He talked to Gwen and Ben while his eyes were glued to the door. His face soon swelled into a broad sunny smile as Reena entered the door, and he instantly greeted her, “Hi”, incidentally before Nell and that invited some spectators including Nell.

  “Hello” she responded without a smile or even recognition, certainly not liking the unintentional attention.

  Gwen and Ben both stared at him for a while like he had discovered fire. It wasn’t their fault to think of him that way as none of them had ever talked to Reena considering she was the quiet sort. They were surprised that Mark did.

  Mark was least concerned about what his friends thought. He wasn’t happy with her response like she didn’t know him. He continuously stared at her, his eyes narrowing in anger, but she didn’t even care to look at him. She didn’t even sit at her usual place but sat beside Nell, away from Mark.

  The entire session Mark kept thinking about her weird behavior. He didn’t enjoy music, even for a moment. He couldn’t concentrate. He didn’t talk with anyone in the class and even after it ended.

  After the class, he walked alone in the backyard when someone placed a hand on his shoulder. He felt irritated and turned around with a jerk, and hurt Nell’s hand.

  “Hey man!! What’s the matter with you?” she screamed out of sudden pain.

  “I am sorry” he said calmly but still sounded angry.

  “It’s alright, but what is wrong with YOU?” She said, while still holding her wrist and twisting it.

  “Your friend, Reena, she seems to be a psycho” he shouted, his frustration flowed off his tightened face.

  She didn’t say anything, allowing him to continue.

  “Yesterday we had a good time down the lake and now she is behaving as if she doesn’t know me at all. She is so unpredictable.”

  Nell listened patiently.

  “When she looks at me, it seems like she wants to be with me so much, her eyes, her smile and the way she blushes. But, the next moment she suddenly changes into a different person altogether” he said “I just hope she isn’t crazy” he brushed his hair behind using his hands “I don’t know what should I do?”

  “Go talk to her” said Nell.

  “It isn’t that easy Nell. I don’t know what she thinks of me. I feel for her that doesn’t mean she also feels the same for me. Especially, after the way she behaved with me today.”

  “True, but at least you’ll know finally, far better than guessing.” she said “Go and tell her what you feel.”

  “What if she doesn’t feel the same way?”

  “Then she doesn’t, is it that necessary?”

  He gave a thought and said “Yes it is, of course” he said. “But yes, I would like to take my chances. It would indeed be far better than guessing” He looked better than before as a gr
in crossed his face while he talked.

  Nell nodded an affirmative.

  “Lakeside she would be” he said, mostly to himself.

  “You bet” Nell hugged him “All the best champ”.

  Mark watched her as she waved a good bye while running towards the streets.

  He then walked on the grassy slopes of the backyard, down the slope and within few minutes reached near the wooden deck. Reena was sitting there like yesterday, not playing anything today, just sitting. She gazed at the motionless water and the mountains far away and breathed the fresh air around her. Her legs were dipped in the lake water, and she leaned behind with the support of her hands on the deck. She looked as beautiful as the evening in her wheat linen shorts, white linen shirt and her silky, untied hair.

  Mark walked closer to her, this time not quietly but stomping. She heard the footsteps approaching and turned curiously. She stood as she saw him coming, picked up her guitar and hung it around her shoulder. She was about to leave when Mark held her hand and stopped her.

  “Leave me Mark” she said firmly.

  “I won’t” he said, equally firm.

  “Just leave me Mark, I am getting late for home. I have work.” she said, without