The Cruise of the Frolic

  CHAPTER FOUR.

  A PIC-NIC, AND ITS CONSEQUENCES.

  The morning came at last, fine as the palpitating hearts of expectantdamsels could desire, and calm enough to please the most timidchaperone; so calm, indeed, that it was a question whether any craftwith canvas alone to depend on could move from her moorings with achance of going anywhere except to Hurst or the Nab; but, as few of ourlady friends had any nautical knowledge, that in no way disconcertedthem, and they would not have believed us had we assured them that therewas too little wind for the excursion. By noon, however, a fewcats'-paws appeared on the lake-like surface of the water, and soonafter the deck of the "Frolic" once more began to rejoice in thepresence of many of the former frolickers. They found it easy enough tocome on board, but to collect all hands and get under way was a verydifferent thing. The Miss Sandons and Jane Seaton, who came escorted byLoring, on finding no chaperone, thought they ought to go on shoreagain, as neither Mrs Topgallant nor Mrs Skyscraper had come; but SirFrancis kept them discussing the point till Carstairs had time to divebelow, and presently returned with a Norman cap on his head, a shawlover his shoulders, and a boat-cloak as a petticoat.

  "There," he exclaimed, crossing his arms before him, and putting hishead on one side, sentimentally, "I'm as good a duenna as MrsTopgallant, or any other lady of your acquaintance." All laughed andforgot to go. "Come, my dear girls, sit down and behave yourselves; noflirting with that naval officer, if you please," he continued,imitating the honourable dame. "You, Mr Loring, and you, Mr HenryFlareup, go forward and smoke your cigars. I can't allow such nastypractices here."

  Flareup had, as usual, lighted his weed, and was sending the smoke intothe face of May Sandon. The roars of laughter were not few as the realMrs Topgallant, with Miss Mary Masthead, approached, and the Norman capwith the good-natured face of the wearer was seen looking over the sideaffectionately down upon them. The Rev Fred and the Miss Masons nextarrived, and lastly Mrs Skyscraper, Miss Cardiff, Lord Lorimer, andHearty.

  "Now, remember, Mr Hearty, we must get back before dark; it is on thatcondition alone that I have consented to chaperone these young ladies,"said Mrs Topgallant, as we were about to get under way.

  "And I, also," exclaimed pretty Mrs Skyscraper.

  "Oh, we don't allow you to be a chaperone," said Carstairs; "you are fartoo young and too engaging," he whispered; and the Gentle Giant actuallyblushed as he said so; luckily Miss Susan Rattler did not hear him.

  "And mamma made me promise to be back at eight," cried Jane Seaton.

  "And so did ours!" echoed the three Miss Sandons.

  "You know we could not have come at all unless we were certain of beingat home in proper time!" exclaimed the two Miss Masons; "could we, MrFairfax?"

  The pet bowed and smiled. He was meditating on the Life of St.Euphemia, of Rhodes, and did not hear the question.

  "Remember, ladies, that time and tide wait for no man," answered Hearty."Even such fair goddesses as honour the `Frolic' by their presence thisday cannot govern the winds and waves, however much they may every thingelse. Therefore all I can promise is, to do my best to follow thewishes of your amiable mammas, and of yourselves."

  "And of mine, if you please, Mr Hearty," put in Mrs Topgallant.

  "Certainly, my dear madam, I considered you among the goddesses of whomI was speaking," answered Hearty, with a flourish of his broad-brimmedbeaver, which, with the compliment, completely won the honourable lady'sheart.

  The anchor was at last weighed, and it being fortunately slack tide,with a light air from the south-east, we were able to fetch CalshotCastle.

  Most of my readers probably know the Southampton Water, and may pictureus to themselves as we floated up the stream with the round, solid,Stilton-cheese-like-looking Castle of Calshot, at the end of a sandyspit, and the lordly Tower of Eaglehurst, rising among the trees visibleover it on the one hand, and the mouth of the Hamble River on the other,while, as far as the eye can reach on either hand, are seen verdantgroves, with the roofs and chimneys of numerous villas peeping fromamong them. About three-quarters of the way up, on the right hand, at ashort distance only from the water, stand the picturesque ruins ofNetley Abbey. The jolly monks of old--and I respect them for it--alwaysselected the most beautiful sites in the neighbourhood for theirhabitations, and in fixing on that for Netley, they did not depart fromtheir rule. Several chambers remain; and the walls which surround aninner court are entire, with fine arched windows, the tracery workcomplete, looking into it. We brought up off it, and the boats wereinstantly lowered to convey the passengers on shore. In getting intoone of them, Loring nearly went overboard, and a shriek of terror fromJane Seaton would have published her secret, had not everybody known itbefore. At last the hampers and the people reached the beach in safety;and now began the difficulties of the chaperone. She was like ashepherd with a wild flock of sheep and no dog; they would stray inevery direction out of her sight. Some had brought sketch-books, andperched themselves about, far apart, to take views of the ruins; otherspreferred what they called exploring; and Jane and Loring vanished noone knew where. The Gentle Giant, who drew very well, was called on bythe Miss Rattlers and several other ladies to fill up the pages of theirbooks; and Hearty was running about talking to everybody and orderingevery thing; while Bubble was exerting himself to do the same, and totake sketches into the bargain, though all his friends observed thatthere was a want of his usual vivacity. The Rattler girls quizzed himunmercifully, till they brought him back to the semblance, at allevents, of his former self. The servants had been employed in layingthe cloth under the shade of a tree which had sprung up in thecourtyard, and thither Hearty's voice now summoned us. How can pen ofmine do justice to the cold collation which was spread before ourrejoicing eyes! I can only say that the party did it, and amply too.

  "Are we all here?" exclaimed the master of the revels. "No, by Bacchus!two are wanting--Miss Seaton and Mr Loring--where are they?"

  "Good gracious! where can they be?" screamed the Honourable MrsTopgallant.

  "What can have become of them?" cried Mrs Skyscraper.

  "They probably did not hear you call, and I dare say they are not faroff," suggested Miss Cardiff, always anxious to find a good excuse forher acquaintance.

  "I should not wonder but what they have eloped," observed Miss SusanRattler.

  "What fun!" said Miss Mary Masthead; "we haven't had such a thing for along time."

  "How shocking!" ejaculated the Miss Masons in a breath, and looked atthe Rev Frederick.

  "I'll wager I find the truants," said Bubble, about to go; but he wassaved the trouble, for at that moment they appeared; the fair Janelooking very confused--Harry Loring remarkably happy.

  "We've all been talking about you two," blurted out Hearty. "No scandalthough, so sit down and enable us to recover our appetites, for ouranxiety nearly took them away. Now tell us, what have you been doing?"

  Poor Jane did not know which way to look, nor what to say; and it neveroccurred to Hearty that his question might possibly confuse her.Loring, however, came to the rescue.

  "Admiring the architecture, exploring everywhere, and examining everything, which no one else appears to have done, or the dinner-bell wouldnot have been answered so speedily. And now, old fellow, I'll drink aglass of champagne with you."

  This would not blind us, however. Every one saw what he had been about,and no small blame to him either. Of course, no one further hinted atthe subject. After dinner we again wandered about the ruins, and theshades of evening surprised us while still there, to the great horror ofMrs Topgallant, and not a little to that of the Miss Masons, who hadbeen so earnestly listening to a discourse of the Rev Frederick on theimportance of reviving monasteries, that they did not observe the sunset.

  "Hillo, ladies and gentlemen! we ought to be on board again," sung outHearty, from the top of a high wall to which he had climbed. "There isno time to be lost, if we would not displease our mammas."

&
nbsp; A good deal of time, however, was lost in collecting the scatteredsheep, and in carrying down the baskets to the boats, which the servantshad neglected to do. When we did at length reach the spot at which wehad landed, a bank of mud was alone to be seen, and one of the menbrought us the pleasing intelligence that the nearest place at which wecould possibly embark was about a mile down the river.

  "We here have a convincing proof that time and tide wait for no one,"cried Bubble; "or the latter would certainly have remained up for theconvenience of so many charming young ladies."

  "Shocking!" exclaimed Mrs Topgallant.

  "What will our mammas say?" ejaculated all the fair damsels.

  "That it's very improper," said the chaperone-general.

  "It can't be helped now; so if we do not intend to spend the night onthe beach, we had better keep moving," observed one of the gentlemen.

  Henry Flareup expressed his opinion that the dismay their non-arrivalwould cause would be jolly fun, and the Miss Rattlers were in ecstasiesof delight at the _contretemps_.

  However, no one grumbled very much, and at last we reached the boats. Anew difficulty then arose. They barely floated with the crews in them,but with passengers on board they would be aground. The men had to getout, and, as it was, the only approach to them was over wet mud of asoft nature, yet no persuasions would induce the ladies to be carried tothem. Mrs Topgallant would not hear of such a thing, and boldly ledthe van through the mud. The young ladies followed, nearly losing theirshoes, and most effectually draggling (I believe it is a proper word)their gowns. Hearty counted them off to see, as he said, that none weremissing; and then began the work of getting the boats afloat, one or twoof the ladies, not accustomed to yachting, being dreadfully alarmed atseeing the men jump overboard, to lift them along. Huzza! off we wentat last, and pulled towards the "Frolic."

  "Let's get back as fast as we can, Snow," exclaimed Hearty, as soon ashe stepped on deck.

  "Beg pardon, sir, it won't be very fast, though," answered the master.

  "Why, how is that?" asked Hearty; "an hour and a half will do it, won'tit?"

  "Bless your heart, no, sir," said old Snow, almost laughing at the idea."It's just dead low water, so the flood will make up for the best partof the next six hours, and after that, if there doesn't come more windthan we has now, we shan't make no great way."

  "But let us at all events get up our anchor and try to do something,"urged Hearty, whose ideas of navigation were not especially distinct atthe time.

  "If we does, sir, we shall drive up to Southampton, or maybe, toRedbridge, for there ain't an hair in all the 'eavens," was theencouraging answer given by the master.

  I never saw a more perfect calm. A candle was lighted on deck, and theflame went straight up as if in a room. If we had been in a tropicalclimate we should have looked out for a hurricane. Here nothing soexciting was to be apprehended. The conversation with the master wasnot overheard by any of the ladies, and Hearty thought it was as well tosay nothing about it, but to leave them to suppose that we were on ourway back to Cowes.

  "It is much too dark to distinguish the shore, and as none of them everthink of looking at the sails, they will not discover that we are stillat anchor," he observed; and so it proved, as we shall presently see.

  The after-cabin had been devoted to the use of the fairer portion of theguests, and when they got there and found the muddy condition of theirdresses, there was a general cry for hot water to wash them. Luckilythe cook's coppers could supply a good quantity, and two tubs were sentaft, in which, as was afterwards reported--for we were not allowed to bespectators of the process--the Honourable Mrs Topgallant and her_protegees_ were busily employed in rinsing their skirts, though it wasnot quite so easy a matter to dry them. Tea and coffee were next servedup in the main cabin, and cakes and muffins and toast in profusion wereproduced, and as Carstairs quietly observed, "Never were washerwomenmore happy."

  There was only one thing wanting, we had not sufficient milk; and thatthere might be no scarcity in future, it was proposed to send thesteward on shore with Henry Flareup to swap him for a cow to be kept onboard instead. He was fixed on as the victim, as it was considered thathe had been making too much love to one of the Miss Sandons, conductaltogether unbecoming one of his tender years.

  "We have passed a very pleasant evening, Mr Hearty, I can assure you,"said the chaperone; "and as I suppose we shall soon be there, we hadbetter get ready to go on shore."

  "We shall have time for a dance first; we have had the deck cleared, andthe musicians are ready," replied Hearty; "may I have the honour ofopening the ball with you, Mrs Topgallant?"

  "Oh, I don't know what to say to such a thing--I'm afraid it will bevery incorrect; and at all events you must excuse me, Mr Hearty, Ishall have quite enough to do to look after my charges."

  And as Mrs Topgallant said this, she glanced round at the assembledyoung ladies.

  "A dance, a dance, by all means!" exclaimed the Miss Rattlers; "whatcapital fun."

  A dance was therefore agreed on, and we went on deck, which we foundilluminated with all the lanterns and spare lamps which could be foundon board; and even candles without any shade were stuck on the taffrail,and the boom was topped up, so as to be completely out of the way. Weowed the arrangements to Bubble, Carstairs, and the master, who had beenbusily employed while the rest were below at tea. An exclamation ofdelight burst from the lips of the young ladies; the musicians struck upa polka, and in another minute all hands were footing it away as gaylyas in any ball-room, and with far more merriment and freedom.

  Ye gentlemen and ladies who stay at home at ease, Ah, little do ye think upon the fun there's on the seas!

  How we did dance! No one tired. Even Mrs Topgallant got up and took aturn with the Gentle Giant, and very nearly went overboard, by the by.We had no hot lamps, no suffocating perfumed atmosphere, to oppress us,as in a London ball-room. The clear sky was our ceiling, the cool waterwas around us. Every gentleman had danced with every lady, except thatLoring had taken more than his share with Miss Seaton, before we thoughtof giving in.

  "Well, I wonder we don't get there!" on a sudden exclaimed MrsTopgallant, as if something new had struck her.

  There was a general laugh, set, I am sorry to say, by Sir FrancisFuttock.

  "Why, my dear madam, we have not begun to go yet."

  "Not begun to go!" cried the Miss Masons. "What will be said of us?"

  "Not begun to go!" groaned the Rev Fred. "What will my flock dowithout me?"

  "Why, I thought we had been moving all the time. We have passed anumber of objects which I should have taken for ghosts, if I believed insuch things," said Mrs Topgallant.

  "Those were vessels going up with the tide, my dear madam, toSouthampton, where we should have gone also," observed Sir Francis.

  Just then a tall dark object came out of the gloom, and glided by us ata little distance. It certainly had what one might suppose theappearance of a spirit wandering over the face of the waters.

  "Cutter, ahoy! What cutter is that?" hailed a voice from the stranger.

  "It's one of them revenue chaps," said Snow. "The `Frolic' yacht;Edward Hearty, Esq, owner!" answered the old man; "and be hanged toyou," he muttered.

  "`I'll call thee king--father, royal Dane. Oh, answer me!'" continuedCarstairs.

  "He'll not answer you--so avast spouting, and let's have another turn atdancing!" exclaimed Hearty, interrupting the would-be actor, anddragging him, to the side of Mrs Skyscraper, who did not refuse hisrequest to dance another quadrille.

  Thus at it again we went, to the no small amusement of a number ofspectators, whose voices could be heard round us. Their boats were justdimly visible, though, from the bright lights on our deck, we could notsee the human beings on board them. At last the rippling sound againstour bows ceasing, gave notice that the tide had slackened, and that wemight venture on lifting anchor. A light air also sprang up from theeastward, and slowly we began to mov
e on our right course. Some of theun-nauticals, however, forgot that with an ebb tide and an easterly windthere was not much chance of our reaching Cowes in a hurry. A thick fogalso began to rise from the calm water; and after the dancing, for fearof their catching cold, cloaks and coats, plaids and shawls, were ingreat requisition among the young ladies. Mrs Topgallant insisted thatthey would all be laid up, and that they must go below till they gotinto Cowes harbour.

  "She was excessively angry," she said, "with Mr Hearty for keeping themout in this way; and as for Sir Francis Futtock, a captain in HerMajesty's navy, she was, indeed, surprised that such a thing couldhappen while he was on board."

  "But, my dear madam," urged Sir Francis, in his defence, "you know thataccidents will happen in the best-regulated families. Nobody asked myAdvice, and I could not venture to volunteer it, or I might haveforetold what has happened. However, come down below, and I trust noharm will ensue."

  After some persuasion, the good lady was induced to go below, and torest herself on a sofa in one of the sleeping-cabins, the door of whichHarry Flareup quietly locked, at a hint from Hearty, who then told theyoung ladies that, as Cerberus was chained, they might now do exactlywhat they liked. I must do them the justice to say that they behavedvery well. There was abundance of laughter, however, especially whenMiss Susan Rattler appeared habited in a large box-coat belonging toCaptain Carstairs. It had certainly nothing yachtish about it. It wasof a whitey-brown hue, with great horn buttons and vast pockets. It wasthoroughly roadish, it smelt of the road, its appearance was of theroad. It reminded one of the days of four-in-hand coaches; and many atale it could doubtless tell of Newmarket; of races run, of bets booked.Not content with wearing the coat, Susan was persuaded to try a cigar.She puffed away manfully for some time.

  "You look a very jemmy young gent, indeed you do," observed the GentleGiant, looking up at her as he sat at her feet. "What would your mammasay if she saw you?"

  "What an odious custom you men have of smoking," cried Hearty,pretending not to see who was the culprit.

  "In the presence of ladies, too," exclaimed Loring, really ignorant ofthe state of the case.

  Poor Susan saw that she was laughed at, and, beginning probably at thesame time to feel a little sick from the fumes of the tobacco, she wasnot sorry of an excuse for throwing Carstairs' best Havana into thewater.

  As the fog settled over us rather heavily, not only were the moredelicate part of the company wrapped up in cloaks and shawls, but we gotup the blankets and counterpanes from the cabins, and swaddled them upcompletely in them, while the gentlemen threw themselves along at theirfeet, partly in a fit of romantic gallantry, and partly, it is justpossible, to assist in keeping themselves warm. Carstairs recitedShakespeare all night long, and Loring sang some capital songs.

  By this time we had got down to Calshot; and, as the tide was nowsetting down pretty strong, we appeared to be going along at a goodrate.

  "How soon shall we be in, captain?" asked one of the Miss Masons of theskipper, who was at the helm.

  "That depends, miss, whether a breeze comes before we get down toYarmouth or Hurst; because, if we keep on, we shan't be far off eitherone or the other, before the tide turns," was the unsatisfactory answer.

  "Keep on, by all means, Snow," exclaimed Hearty, who had not heard allthat was said; "I promised to do my best to get in, and we must keep atit."

  So tideward we went; the little wind there had been dropping altogether.Presently we heard a hail.

  "What cutter is that?"

  "The `Frolic.'"

  "Please, sir, we were sent out to look for you, to bring Mrs Topgallantand Miss Masons, and some other ladies, on shore."

  There was a great deal of talk, but Hearty had determined that no oneshould leave the yacht. Mrs Topgallant was below, and could not bedisturbed; besides, the other young ladies could not be left without achaperone. The Miss Masons wanted to go in company with their pastor,but it would not exactly do to be out in a boat alone with the RevFred. As that gentleman was afraid of catching cold, he was at the timesafe below, and knew nothing of what was taking place, so the boat wassent off without a freight. Hearty vowed that he would fire on anyother boat which came near us to carry off any of his guests. Thus thenight wore on.

  It would be impossible to record all the witty things which were said,all the funny things which were done, and all the laughter which waslaughed. All I can say is, that the ladies and gentlemen were about asunlike as possible to what they would have been in town during theseason. Hour after hour passed rapidly away, and not a little surprisedwere they when the bright streaks of dawn appeared in the eastern sky,and Egypt Point was seen a long way off in the same direction, while thevessel was found to be turning round and round without any steerage-way.

  Now it was very wrong and very improper, and I don't mean for a momentto defend our conduct, though, by the by, the fault was all Hearty's;but it was not till half-past eleven of the next day that the party setfoot once more upon the shore. Never was there a merrier pic-nic; and,what is more, in spite of wet feet and damp fogs, no one was a bit theworse for it.

  Looking in at the post-office, I found a letter summoning me immediatelyto London.

  Sending a note to Hearty, to tell him of my departure, I set offforthwith, and reached the modern Babylon that same night. How blackand dull and dingy it looked; how hot it felt; how smoky it smelt! Iwas never celebrated for being a good man of business; but on thepresent occasion I worked with a will, and it was wonderful with whatrapidity I got through the matter in hand, and once more turned my backon the mighty metropolis.