Life's Handicap: Being Stories of Mine Own People

  NABOTH

  [Footnote: Copyright, 1891, by MACMILLAN & Co.]

  This was how it happened; and the truth is also an allegory of Empire.

  I met him at the corner of my garden, an empty basket on his head, andan unclean cloth round his loins. That was all the property to whichNaboth had the shadow of a claim when I first saw him. He opened ouracquaintance by begging. He was very thin and showed nearly as many ribsas his basket; and he told me a long story about fever and a lawsuit,and an iron cauldron that had been seized by the court in execution ofa decree. I put my hand into my pocket to help Naboth, as kings of theEast have helped alien adventurers to the loss of their kingdoms. Arupee had hidden in my waistcoat lining. I never knew it was there, andgave the trove to Naboth as a direct gift from Heaven. He replied that Iwas the only legitimate Protector of the Poor he had ever known.

  Next morning he reappeared, a little fatter in the round, and curledhimself into knots in the front verandah. He said I was his father andhis mother, and the direct descendant of all the gods in his Pantheon,besides controlling the destinies of the universe. He himself was but asweetmeat-seller, and much less important than the dirt under my feet.I had heard this sort of thing before, so I asked him what he wanted. Myrupee, quoth Naboth, had raised him to the ever-lasting heavens, andhe wished to prefer a request. He wished to establish a sweetmeat-pitchnear the house of his benefactor, to gaze on my revered countenance asI went to and fro illumining the world. I was graciously pleased to givepermission, and he went away with his head between his knees.

  Now at the far end of my garden, the ground slopes toward the publicroad, and the slope is crowned with a thick shrubbery. There is a shortcarriage-road from the house to the Mall, which passes close to theshrubbery. Next afternoon I saw that Naboth had seated himself at thebottom of the slope, down in the dust of the public road, and in thefull glare of the sun, with a starved basket of greasy sweets infront of him. He had gone into trade once more on the strength of mymunificent donation, and the ground was as Paradise by my honouredfavour. Remember, there was only Naboth, his basket, the sunshine, andthe gray dust when the sap of my Empire first began.

  Next day he had moved himself up the slope nearer to my shrubbery, andwaved a palm-leaf fan to keep the flies off the sweets. So I judged thathe must have done a fair trade.

  Four days later I noticed that he had backed himself and his basketunder the shadow of the shrubbery, and had tied an Isabella-coloured ragbetween two branches in order to make more shade. There were plenty ofsweets in his basket. I thought that trade must certainly be looking up.

  Seven weeks later the Government took up a plot of ground for a ChiefCourt close to the end of my compound, and employed nearly four hundredcoolies on the foundations. Naboth bought a blue and white stripedblanket, a brass lamp-stand, and a small boy, to cope with the rush oftrade, which was tremendous.

  Five days later he bought a huge, fat, red-backed account-book, and aglass inkstand. Thus I saw that the coolies had been getting into hisdebt, and that commerce was increasing on legitimate lines of credit.Also I saw that the one basket had grown into three, and that Nabothhad backed and hacked into the shrubbery, and made himself a nice littleclearing for the proper display of the basket, the blanket, the books,and the boy.

  One week and five days later he had built a mud fire-place in theclearing, and the fat account-book was overflowing. He said that Godcreated few Englishmen of my kind, and that I was the incarnation ofall human virtues. He offered me some of his sweets as tribute, and byaccepting these I acknowledged him as my feudatory under the skirt of myprotection.

  Three weeks later I noticed that the boy was in the habit of cookingNaboth's mid-day meal for him, and Naboth was beginning to grow astomach. He had hacked away more of my shrubbery and owned another and afatter account-book.

  Eleven weeks later Naboth had eaten his way nearly through thatshrubbery, and there was a reed hut with a bedstead outside it, standingin the little glade that he had eroded. Two dogs and a baby slept on thebedstead. So I fancied Naboth had taken a wife. He said that he had,by my favour, done this thing, and that I was several times finer thanKrishna. Six weeks and two days later a mud wall had grown up at theback of the hut. There were fowls in front and it smelt a little. TheMunicipal Secretary said that a cess-pool was forming in the public roadfrom the drainage of my compound, and that I must take steps to clearit away. I spoke to Naboth. He said I was Lord Paramount of his earthlyconcerns, and the garden was all my own property, and sent me some moresweets in a second-hand duster.

  Two months later a coolie bricklayer was killed in a scuffle that tookplace opposite Naboth's Vineyard. The Inspector of Police said it wasa serious case; went into my servants' quarters; insulted my butler'swife, and wanted to arrest my butler. The curious thing about the murderwas that most of the coolies were drunk at the time. Naboth pointed outthat my name was a strong shield between him and his enemies, and heexpected that another baby would be born to him shortly.

  Four months later the hut was ALL mud walls, very solidly built, andNaboth had used most of my shrubbery for his five goats. A silver watchand an aluminium chain shone upon his very round stomach. My servantswere alarmingly drunk several times, and used to waste the day withNaboth when they got the chance. I spoke to Naboth. He said, by myfavour and the glory of my countenance, he would make all his women-folkladies, and that if any one hinted that he was running an illicitstill under the shadow of the tamarisks, why, I, his Suzerain, was toprosecute.

  A week later he hired a man to make several dozen square yards oftrellis-work to put around the back of his hut, that his women-folkmight be screened from the public gaze. The man went away in theevening, and left his day's work to pave the short cut from the publicroad to my house. I was driving home in the dusk, and turned the cornerby Naboth's Vineyard quickly. The next thing I knew was that the horsesof the phaeton were stamping and plunging in the strongest sort ofbamboo net-work. Both beasts came down. One rose with nothing more thanchipped knees. The other was so badly kicked that I was forced to shoothim.

  Naboth is gone now, and his hut is ploughed into its native mud withsweetmeats instead of salt for a sign that the place is accursed. I havebuilt a summer-house to overlook the end of the garden, and it is as afort on my frontier whence I guard my Empire.

  I know exactly how Ahab felt. He has been shamefully misrepresented inthe Scriptures.