My Life Next Door

  I walk to the side door and bend to put on my flip-flops.

  Mom’s right behind me.

  “You’re walking away? We haven’t resolved this! You can’t leave.”

  “I’ll be right back,” I toss over my shoulder. Then I march across the porch, around the fence, and up the driveway to put my hand on the warm skin of Jase’s back, bent over the innards of the Mustang.

  He turns his head to smile at me, quickly wiping his forehead with his wrist. “Sam!”

  “You look hot,” I say.

  He shoots a quick glance over at his mother, still reading to George and feeding Patsy. Duff and Harry have evidently taken their fight elsewhere.

  “Um, thanks.” He sounds bemused.

  “Come with me. To my house.”

  “I’m kind of—I should probably take a shower. Or get a shirt.”

  I’m pulling at his hand now, slippery with sweat and grease. “You’re fine the way you are. Come on.”

  Jase looks at me for a moment, then follows. “Should I have gotten my tool kit?” he asks mildly as I tow him up the steps.

  “Nothing needs fixing. Not like that.”

  I can hear from outside that Mom’s got the vacuum cleaner back on. I open the door and gesture inside. Jase, eyebrows raised, steps in.

  “Mom!” I call.

  She straightens up from vacuuming one of the sofa cushions, then just stands there, looking back and forth between us. I walk over and flip the vacuum off.

  “This is Jase Garrett, Mom. One of your constituents. He’s thirsty and he’d love some of your lemonade.”

  Chapter Thirty-one

  “So now you’ve met my mother,” I say to Jase that night, leaning back on the roof.

  “I sure have. That was awesome. And completely uncomfortable.”

  “The lemonade made it all worthwhile, though, right?”

  “The lemonade was fine,” Jase says. “It was the girl who made it awesome.”

  I sit up, edge over close to my window, and push it open, slipping one leg in, then the next, turning back to Jase. “Come on.”

  His smile flashes in the gathering dark as his eyebrows lift, but he climbs carefully in as I lock my bedroom door.

  “Be still,” I tell him. “Now I’m going to learn all about you.”

  A while later, Jase is lying on his back on my bed, wearing shorts but nothing else, and I’m kneeling beside him.

  “I think you already know me pretty well.” He reaches out to tug the elastic out of my hair so it falls free, draping over his chest.

  “Nope. Lots to learn. Do you have freckles? A birthmark? Scars? I’m gonna find ’em all.” I lean down to touch my lips to his belly button. “There, you have an innie. I’m filing this information away.”

  Jase sucks in a breath. “I’m not sure I can be still. Jesus, Samantha.”

  “Look, and over here…” I lick in a line down from his navel. “You do have a scar. Do you remember where you got this one?”

  “Samantha. I can’t even remember my name when you’re doing this. But don’t stop. I love the way your hair feels like that.”

  I shake my head, making my hair fan out more. I am wondering where this take-charge confidence is coming from, but at the moment, who cares? Watching what it does to him takes away any hesitation, any embarrassment.

  “I don’t think I’m going to get the whole picture with these here.” I reach for the top of his shorts.

  His lashes flutter closed as he takes another deep rough breath. I slowly slide them down, tugging over his lean hips.

  “Boxers. Plain. No cartoon characters. I figured.”

  “Samantha. Let me look at you too. Please.”

  “What is it you want to see?” I’m preoccupied by edging the shorts all the way off. And a little bit using this as an excuse because my bravado has wavered after seeing Jase in only boxers. And not exactly immune to me.

  Okay, I know about arousal, I do. It was pretty much Charley’s perpetual state. Michael suffered over his, but that never stopped him from pulling my hand to his crotch. But this is Jase, and that I can do that to him, with him, makes my mouth go dry, and other parts of me ache in a completely unaccustomed way.

  He reaches up, brushing my hair away from the back of my dress so he can find the zipper. His eyes are still closed but, as the zipper slides down, he opens them and they’re brilliant green, like leaves when they first show up in the spring. He smoothes the tips of his fingers around my shoulders and then eases the dress down, taking my hands to pull them out of the armholes. I shiver. I’m not cold, though.

  I wish I had some exotic underwear. It’s an ordinary tan bra I’m wearing, the kind with that little meaningless bow in the center. But just as I find Jase’s plain boxers perfectly compelling, he seems mesmerized by my utilitarian bra. His thumbs brush over the front of it, tracing the outline, circling. My turn to take a deep breath now. Except that I can’t seem to, as his hands return to my back, searching for the clasp.

  I look down. “Ah. You do have a birthmark.” I touch his thigh. “Right up here. It looks like a fingerprint, almost.” The tip of my index finger covers it completely.

  Jase slides my bra off, whispering, “You have the softest skin. Come close.”

  I lie on top of him, skin to skin. He’s tall, I’m not, but when we lie like this, we fit together. All the curves of my body relax into the strength of his.

  When people talk about sex, it sounds so technical…or scarily out of control. Nothing like this sense of rightness, of being made to fit together.

  But we don’t carry it any further than lying together. I can feel Jase’s heart thudding beneath me, and the way he curves away a little, embarrassed, probably, that his need shows more clearly than mine. So I just stroke his cheek and say—yes I say, the girl who has always guarded her heart—I say, for the first time, “I love you. It’s okay.”

  Jase looks straight into my eyes. “Yeah,” he whispers. “It is, isn’t it? I love you too, my Sam.”

  For the next few days after our blowup over Jase, Mom works her way through a) the silent treatment, with its accompaniment of sighs, frosty glances, and hostile muttering under her breath; then b) interrogating me about my plans for every hour of the day; and c) laying down rules: “That boy is not to be coming in here while I’m at work, young lady. I know what happens when two teenagers are alone, and that’s not happening under my roof.”

  I manage not to snap back that, in that case, we’ll find a handy backseat or a cheap motel. Jase and I are getting closer and closer. I’m hooked on the smell of his skin. I’m interested in every detail of his day, the way he analyzes customers and suppliers, summing them up so concisely, but empathetically. I’m captivated by the way he looks at me with a bemused smile while I talk, as though he’s both listening to my voice and absorbing the rest of me. I’m pleased by all the parts of him I know, and each new part I discover is like a present.

  Is this how Mom feels? Does every bit of Clay feel like it was designed specifically to make her happy? The idea kind of grosses me out. But if she feels that way, what kind of person am I that I just don’t like him being around?

  “You’re gonna have to handle this one for me, kid,” Tim says, coming into the kitchen, where I am easing warmed focaccia squares out of the oven, sprinkling them with pre-grated Parmesan. “They need more wine out there and it’s not a real great idea to ask me to be the sommelier. Gracie said two bottles of the pinot grigio.” His voice is teasing, but he’s sweating a little, and probably not from the heat.

  “Why did they ask you? I thought you were here to be office support, not waitstaff.” Mom is having twelve donors over for dinner. It’s catered, but she’s concealing the fact from the donors, having me carry out the precooked, reheated food.

  “The lines get kinda blurred sometimes. You have no idea how many coffee and donut runs I’ve made since I signed on to your ma’s campaign. Do you know how to open those?” He nods at the tw
o bottles I’ve extracted from the lower rack of the fridge.

  “I think I can figure it out.”

  “I hate wine,” Tim says meditatively. “Never liked the smell of it, if you can believe that. Now I could just chug both of those in two seconds flat.” He shuts his eyes.

  I’ve peeled off the metal coating on top and am inserting the corkscrew, a fancy new one that looks more like a pepper grinder. “Sorry, Tim. If you want to go back out there, I’ll bring these out.”

  “Nah. The pretentiousness is getting a little thick. Not to mention the bigotry. That Lamont guy is a supersized douche bag.”

  I agree. Steve Lamont is a tax attorney from town and the poster child for political incorrectness. Mom’s never liked him, since he’s also sexist and fond of joking about wearing black every year on the anniversary of the day when women got the vote.

  “I don’t understand why he’s even here,” I say. “Clay’s from the South but he’s not a bigot, I don’t think. But Mr. Lamont…”

  “Is fuckin’ rich, babe. Or as Clay would put it, ‘He’s so loaded he buys a new boat every time the old one gets wet.’ That’s all that matters. They’d put up with a hell of a lot worse to get some of that.”

  I shudder, jerking the cork, which breaks. “Oh, damn.”

  Tim reaches for the bottle, but I move it away from him. “It’s okay, I’ll just try to get the broken bit.”

  “Timothy? What’s taking so long?” Mom marches through the swinging kitchen door, glancing between us.

  I hold out the bottle. “Oh, honestly!” she says. “That’s going to ruin the whole bottle if any cork gets in.” She pulls it from my hands, frowns at it, then drops it into the trash and opens the refrigerator to get another. I start to take it from her hands, but she picks up the opener and twists it herself, deftly. Then does the same to the second bottle.

  Then she hands one to Tim. “Just go around the table and top off people’s glasses.”

  He sighs. “Okay, Gracie.”

  She removes a wineglass from the dish rack and fills it, then takes a deep swallow. “Remember that you are not to call me that in public, Tim.”

  “Right. Senator.” Tim’s holding the bottle out in front of him, as though it might explode.

  Mom takes another sip. “This is very good,” she tells us absently. “I think it’s going really well out there, don’t you?” She directs this question at Tim, who nods.

  “You can practically hear the purse strings loosening,” he says. If his voice is slightly sardonic, Mom doesn’t pick up on that.

  “Well, we won’t know until the checks come in.” She finishes the glass of wine in one last swallow, then looks over at me. “Do I have any lipstick left?”

  “Just a rim,” I say. Most of it is on the glass.

  She blows an impatient breath. “I’ll run upstairs and reapply. Tim, get out there and fill ’em up. Samantha, the foccacia’s getting cold. Bring it out with some more olive oil for dipping.”

  Whirling, she heads up the stairs. I take the wine out of Tim’s hand, replacing it with the bottle of oil.

  “Thanks, kid. This isn’t nearly as tempting.”

  I look over at the glass with its blush-pink stain. “She kind of knocked that back.”

  He shrugs. “Your ma doesn’t like asking folks for shit. Not really her style. Dutch courage, I guess.”

  Chapter Thirty-two

  “You’re not gonna believe what just happened to me,” Jase says the minute I flip my cell open, taking advantage of break at the B&T. I turn away from the picture window just in case Mr. Lennox, disregarding the break sign, will come dashing out to slap me with my first-ever demerit.

  “Try me.”

  His voice lowers. “You know how I put that lock on the door of my room? Well, Dad noticed it. Apparently. So today, I’m stocking the lawn section and he comes up and asks why it’s there.”

  “Uh-oh.” I catch the attention of a kid sneaking into the hot tub (there’s a strict no-one-under-sixteen policy) and shake my head sternly. He slinks away. Must be my impressive uniform.

  “So I say I need privacy sometimes and sometimes you and I are hanging out and we don’t want to be interrupted ten million times.”

  “Good answer.”

  “Right. I think this is going to be the end of it. But then he tells me he needs me in the back room to have a ‘talk.’”

  “Uh-oh again.”

  Jase starts to laugh. “I follow him back and he sits me down and asks if I’m being responsible. Um. With you.”

  Moving back into the shade of the bushes, I turn even further away from the possible gaze of Mr. Lennox. “Oh God.”

  “I say yeah, we’ve got it handled, it’s fine. But, seriously? I can’t believe he’s asking me this. I mean, Samantha, Jesus. My parents? Hard not to know the facts of life and all in this house. So I tell him that we’re moving slowly and—”

  “You told him that?” God, Jase! How am I ever going to look Mr. Garrett in the eye again? Help.

  “He’s my dad, Samantha. Yeah. Not that I didn’t want to exit the conversation right away, but still…”

  “So what happened then?”

  “Well, I reminded him they’d covered that really thoroughly in school, not to mention at home, and we weren’t irresponsible people.”

  I close my eyes, trying to imagine having this conversation with my mother. Inconceivable. No pun intended.

  “So then…he goes on about”—Jase’s voice drops even lower—“um…being considerate and um…mutual pleasure.”

  “Oh my God! I would’ve died. What did you say?” I ask, wanting to know even while I’m completely distracted by the thought. Mutual pleasure, huh? What do I know about giving that? What if Shoplifting Lindy had tricks up her sleeve I know nothing about? It’s not like I can ask Mom. “State senator suffers heart attack during conversation with daughter.”

  “I said ‘Yes sir’ a lot. And he went on and on and all I could think was that any minute Tim was gonna come in and hear my dad saying things like, ‘Your mom and I find that…blah blah blah.’”

  I can’t stop laughing. “He didn’t. He did not mention your mother.”

  “I know!” Jase is laughing too. “I mean…you know how close I am to my parents, but…Jesus.”

  “So, what do you think?” Jase asks, picking up two cans of paint from the floor and setting them on the counter. He pops one lid open, then the other, dipping in the flat wooden stirrer, swirling the paint around. “For the Mustang? We’ve got your plain racing green.” He slides the stick along a piece of newspaper. “Then your slightly sparkly one.” Another slide. “Which would you choose?”

  They’re barely different. Still, I scrutinize both sticks carefully. “What was the original paint job on the Mustang?” I ask.

  “The plain green. Which kind of seems right. But then—”

  My cell phone sings out.

  “Hey kid—I need your help.” It’s Tim. “I’m at headquarters and I left my laptop at the store. I wrote this speech, intro thing, for your ma to use tonight. I need you to forward the copy to her e-mail. It’s in the supply room—on Mr. Garrett’s desk.”

  I locate the laptop easily. “Okay, what now?”

  “Just go on in, I can’t remember what it’s called—there aren’t that many files. Work or something like that.”

  “What’s your password?” My fingers hover over the keyboard.

  “Alice,” Tim says. “But I will deny that if you tell anyone.”

  “In Wonderland, right?”

  “Absolutely. Gotta go—that tight-assed Malcolm dude is having a fit about something. Call me back if you can’t find it.”

  I enter the password and look for documents. There’s nothing labeled WORK. I scroll through, searching, and finally come upon a folder labeled CRAP. Close enough, knowing Tim. I click on that, and up pops a series of documents. Give that Girl an A: A Study of Hawthorne’s Hester Prynne. A Comparison of Huckleberry Finn
and Holden Caulfield. Danger in Dickens. The Four Freedoms.

  I click on The Four Freedoms…and there it all is. Nan’s prize-winning Fourth of July speech. Dated last fall.

  But she wrote it for American government. This spring.

  Daniel took American government last year. I remember him going on and on about John Adams at our lunch table. So Nan must have gotten the syllabus from him. She’s always prepared like that. But still…writing the paper before the class even started? Extreme. Even for Nan.

  And why would it be on Tim’s computer? Okay. Nan did borrow his laptop a lot when hers was a mess.

  I shift the mouse, edging it to Holden Caulfield and Huckleberry Finn, Nan’s essay to be published in the literary journal. Here it is, the Lazlo-winning essay, word for word.

  I know she covered for him. We both have, let’s face it. But this is so much further than I thought she’d go.

  I can’t believe it. Tim’s been using Nan’s work.

  I continue to stare at the screen, feeling like someone siphoned all the blood out of my head.

  “Samantha, I need you! Can you un-Velcro yourself from The Boyfriend for a while?” Nan’s voice crackles over my cell, high and shaking.

  “Of course. Where are you?”

  “Meet me at Doane’s. I need ice cream.”

  Nan’s going for sugar-rush therapy again. Bad sign. Did she go to New York with Daniel? It’s only Saturday. I thought Tim said she’d told her parents he was taking her to some Model UN and they were staying at his very strict uncle’s house.

  I don’t even know if Daniel has an uncle who lives in NYC, although if he did, that the uncle would be strict is a safe bet.

  The Masons’ house is much closer to town than mine, so I’m not surprised to find her sitting at the counter at Doane’s when I get there. I am surprised to find her already plowing into a banana split.

  “Sorry,” she says through a mouthful of whipped cream. “Couldn’t wait. I almost jumped the counter and dug into the buckets with my fingers. I definitely need some chocolate malt salvation now. Just like Tim. Since he stopped drinking he’s like a maniac with the sweet stuff.”