Eyes Wide Open

  My brain started putting it all together and the very idea gave me goose bumps. “You’re worried they will try to get to me too, but if our relationship and wedding are made into celebrity news then they won’t dare to?” I could hear the fear in my voice and hated it. I couldn’t imagine that Senator Oakley would want me dead. What had I ever done wrong except date his son? It was Lance Oakley who’d done the damage, not me! Why did I have to live in fear over something I didn’t cause? I was the victim here, and as much as I loathed the idea, it was the truth.

  “I cannot take the risk with you and I won’t, not ever.” Ethan kissed my neck and swirled the sponge down my belly. “I always say you are brilliant because you are. You understand, then.”

  “Yeah, I get it. I understand that a powerful political party may want to snuff me out, but that doesn’t mean I have to like a façade wedding.” I could feel Ethan tense behind me and figured he wasn’t happy with what I was saying.

  “I told you I would do whatever it takes to secure your safety, Brynne, and I will. I promise you, the venue and the guest list don’t change a goddamn thing about the purpose. Not for me, they don’t,” he ground out. “And I want the fact that we are expecting a baby to be part of the announcement as well. It just makes you more of a precious commodity.” He shook me lightly. “Which you are.”

  Yeah, my man was not happy at all. He sounded a little wounded too, and I felt guilty yet again for being so unappreciative. I guess it was just one more thing to discuss with my therapist. While I was grateful Ethan wanted to marry me and was willing to make a commitment to our child, I hated that threats from fuck-knows-who were the driving force behind his proposal.

  “I’m sorry. I know I am not making this easy on you, Ethan. I wish I could be different about this.” In so many ways, I wish it. “But you should know it’s not really every girl’s dream to have a celebrity wedding because someone might be trying to kill her.”

  “There’s a lot more motivating me than that,” he growled, “and you know it.” Ethan thrust up the drain plug and heaved himself out of the tub. He offered his hand to assist me, his expression a little angry, a little hurt, and a lot beautiful in all his magnificent wet nakedness.

  Yeah, a baby we started together by accident is driving it too.

  I accepted his hand and let him draw me out of the tub. He snapped down a towel and started drying me from head to toe. When he got to my stomach he bent down and planted a gentle kiss right over where our baby would be growing.

  I gasped and felt tears starting again, fully unable to bring my emotions to heel, and wondering how I’d ever make it through everything intact. Why did I have to be so weak?

  He lifted his eyes up. “But I love you, Brynne, and I have to be with you. Isn’t that enough?”

  I lost it. Completely and totally, and for the goddamn zillionth time. Tears, sobs, hiccups—the whole nine yards. Ethan got the deluxe emotional package from me tonight. Poor guy.

  My outburst didn’t seem to faze him, though, as he took charge, putting me back into bed, sliding in alongside me and drawing me close. He drew his fingers through my hair and just held me for a long time with no more demands, no questions or inquiries. He let me be, offering his comfort and strength generously without the prospect of anything in return.

  He was thinking. I could hear the cogs grinding around inside his head as he pondered me. Ethan did that quite a bit, actually, the thinking without saying anything.

  I was too, though. I remembered something Dr. Roswell had said to me more than once. Whenever I expressed my fears about the future, she said: “You’ll get through one step at a time, one day at a time, Brynne.”

  Another cliché, yes, but one that was spot-on true, as Ethan liked to say sometimes. Spot-on true.

  I’ll get through this one step at a time, and Ethan will be here to help me.

  “It is enough, Ethan,” I whispered. His fingers stilled in my hair. “It is enough for me. You are enough.”

  Ethan kissed me, gentle and soft, his tongue slipping inside to tangle around lazily like there wasn’t a care in the world for us right now. I felt his palm sweep down to rest low on my belly and he held it there, warm and protecting.

  “We’re gonna be okay, baby. I know we are. All three of us.”

  I buried my face in his chest and nuzzled. “When you say it, I believe you.”

  “It will. I know this.” He lifted my face up and tapped his head with his finger. “I have visions, just like you have those super powers of deduction that you told me about once.” He gave me a wink.

  “Really.” I added some sarcasm, just so he’d know I was over my snit about the wedding and could go back to acceptance.

  “Yup. You, me and our little blueberry will have our happily ever after.”

  I had to shake my head at him. “We don’t have a blueberry anymore.”

  He feigned shock. “What happened to blueberry? Don’t tell me you ate it.”

  “You idiot.” I nudged him in the ribs. “Blueberry is now raspberry.”

  “Where are you getting this information?” he asked, one eyebrow quirking up.

  “Website called Bump dot com. You should check it out. It’ll tell you everything you need to know about fruits and vegetables.”

  He laughed. “I love when you play with me,” he said, taking my chin. “Especially when I can see the light in your eyes and you look happy. It’s all I really want. You to be happy with me, about us, our life together.”

  “You do make me happy, Ethan. I’m sorry about how I am lately. A hormonal wreck crying over everything, moping, being difficult, ugh . . . I hate the sound of myself even apologizing to you right now.”

  He shook his head. “Nope. We’ll have none of that. You don’t need to apologize, baby. All you need to do is agree to the announcement of our engagement. I wrote it out today. It’s ready to go.”

  He looked so earnest in his request, and I realized in that moment the time for avoiding my fears about marriage, a baby, the stalker, everything that scared me, really, was definitely over. Going forward was the only option now.

  “Okay. I’m ready.”

  “You are?” Ethan looked more than a little surprised. “Just like that, you’re now ready?”

  “Yeah. I am. I know you love me and I know you will take care of us. I finally admitted to myself with Dr. Roswell that I need you. I love you and I need you.” I cupped one side of his face with my hand. “Let’s do it.”

  I got one of those spectacular and rare Ethan smiles that made it all worth it. I did indeed love making this man happy. It filled something in me, made me feel warm inside.

  “We need to tell our parents and families. How do you want to break the news?” he asked softly.

  “Hmmm . . . good point.” I looked at the bedside clock reading one o’clock in the morning. “How about now?” I said.

  “Now?” He looked unsure for a moment before he figured it out. “You want to tell your dad first.” I could tell he was doing mental calculations. “It’s five o’clock on a Friday, do you think you can get ahold of him?”

  “I’m pretty sure I can. Get dressed.”

  “Huh?”

  I slipped out of bed and started pulling on yoga pants and a T-shirt. “I want to Skype him and tell him that way.” I smirked, feeling pleased with my idea. “I doubt he’d appreciate hearing he’s going to be a grandfather with you naked on Skype looking like you do right now,” I said with a long, measured look over his bare, muscled skin, “so get dressed, please. I can guarantee he’ll want to talk to you once I tell him what you’ve done to me.”

  ♥ “Princess, you look so pretty. I love seeing your face on here. To what do I owe this honor, and what in the hell are you doing up at one a.m.?”

  I grinned at my dad and actually got butterflies in my stomach at the prospect of tell
ing him our news. Somehow I knew he would be happy for me. He’d never judged me in the past, and he wouldn’t now. “God, I miss you. I would give anything to have you right in front of me for this, Daddy.” My handsome dad had a pool towel around his neck and wet hair.

  “I just did forty laps, and it felt great. My weekend is off to a good start. The weather’s been so nice for the pool. Wish you were here to enjoy it with me.”

  “Me too. Are you taking your blood-pressure pills like you’re supposed to?”

  “Of course I am. I’m in great shape for an old codger.”

  “Oh, please, you’re about the furthest you can get from being a codger, Dad. When I imagine an old guy, you’re definitely not it. I even got a message from Jess on Facebook telling me how she sees you at the gym and how adorable you are. You must have to scrape the ladies off you when you work out.”

  He laughed and brushed my comment away. I always wondered about that part of his life. He never talked about dates or women, so I really didn’t know much. He had to get lonely sometimes. Humans weren’t meant to be alone. I wished he could find someone who made him happy.

  “Jess is a sweet girl. We talk mostly about you, Brynnie. You didn’t answer my question either. Why are you up so late?”

  “Well, Ethan and I have something important to say and I didn’t want another moment go by before talking to you.”

  “Okay . . . you’re smiling, so I think this must be happy news?” He lifted his chin and looked a little too smug. My confidence faltered just a little, until I felt Ethan come up behind me and sit down. He put his hands on my shoulders and leaned forward so my dad could see him in the monitor. “Hey, Ethan, so you’re going to make an honest woman of my daughter? Is that what this big announcement is all about?”

  “Ahhh . . . well—um . . . we wanted to tell you a few things. actually, Tom.”

  “Well, I’m dying to hear it,” Dad said, obviously loving that he had Ethan squirming on Skype, a monstrous grin on his handsome face. God, I hoped he was happy once he heard the words.

  I went for it. A big ole fat belly flop into the deep end of the metaphorical swimming pool that was my life.

  “Daddy, you’re going to be a grandpa.”

  I felt Ethan’s fingers grip my shoulders a little harder , and watched the big grin on my dad’s face morph into a look of complete shock.

  14

  ♠ I pulled up to the redbrick house where I’d grown up in Hampstead and parked on the street.

  “This is my dad’s house.”

  “It’s lovely, Ethan. An elegant English home, just like I imagined it. The yard is beautiful.”

  “Dad likes to keep his hands dirty with it.”

  “I’ve always admired people with a green thumb. I’d like to have a garden someday but I don’t know much about plants. I’d have so much to learn,” she said wistfully from inside the car. “Do you feel good when you come here? Does it still feel like home to you?” She sounded a little homesick to me.

  “Well, yeah, it does. It’s the only one I ever had until I bought mine. And I know my dad would be happy to teach you anything. My mother’s garden is in the back of the house. I really want you to see that.” I swept my eyes over Brynne, looking beautiful as usual in a flowery dress and some purple boots. God, I loved when she wore her boots. The clothes could go but the boots could stay . . . any time. “Are you nervous?”

  She nodded. “I am . . . very.”

  “There’s no need, baby. Everyone loves you and thinks you are the best thing to ever happen to me.” I gave her a slow kiss on the lips, tasting her sweetness before we had to go out in public, and my constant need to have my hands on her would have to be curbed for the next hours. It sucks to be me, then. “Which you are,” I added.

  “Oh, come on; I remember how my dad interrogated you . . . and how your voice cracked.” She giggled. “The look on his face was priceless, wasn’t it?”

  “Ahh, I guess so. I don’t really remember his face. All I could think about was how grateful I was to have thousands of miles between us, you know, to save my cock from being twisted off.”

  “You poor thing,” she laughed, holding her hand over her stomach.

  “Are you feeling well? How’s our raspberry behaving this evening?”

  Brynne reached up to hold my cheek. “Little raspberry is cooperating so far, but I never know what will set me off. Nighttime is my nemesis for some reason. Just gonna take it slow.”

  “You look so beautiful tonight. Dad is going to be thrilled.” I picked up her hand and kissed it on the palm, then pressed it back over her stomach.

  “You’re going to make me cry if you keep that up.” She covered my hand with hers.

  “Nope. No tears tonight. This is a happy time. Think about how happy your dad was last night when we told him. Well, at least after he realized he was too far away to castrate me, he was.” I flashed a quick wink.

  “I love you, Blackstone. You make me laugh, and that’s something. Let’s do this thing.”

  “Yes, boss.” I came around and got my girl out of the car and up the steps to the door. I rang the bell and waited. The soft slide of a warm body slinked against my leg. The cat had grown some since the last time I’d come over here.

  “Soot, my man. How the hell have you been?” I picked him up and introduced him to Brynne. “This is Soot, the self-proclaimed owner of my dad. He’s sort of adopted him.”

  “Aww . . . what a handsome kitty. Such green eyes.” Brynne reached out to pet him as Soot lowered his head into her hand for a rub. “He’s really friendly, huh?”

  “Oh, yes he is—”

  The door opening interrupted us. Brynne’s aunt Marie, with a welcoming smile on her face, stood just inside my dad’s front porch. “Surprise,” Marie said. “I bet you two weren’t expecting to see me here, were you?”

  I laughed awkwardly, in reality a bit caught off guard but I recovered well in spite of my shock. “Marie, if this isn’t a most lovely surprise, I don’t know what is. Are you helping Dad with dinner?”

  “I am,” she said. “Please come in, you two.” She greeted us both with kisses and hugs. Brynne and I exchanged a quick glance. I’d bet brass Brynne was as surprised as me to see Marie here.

  As soon as I got a look at Dad, I knew something was up. He wiped his hands on a kitchen cloth and greeted us. A warm embrace and a kiss to the hand for my girl, and a rather cool frosty nod to me. Soot leapt out of my arms and headed off somewhere.

  “Marie and I had already arranged for dinner here tonight when you called and asked to come over,” Dad said.

  Really? Another quick flash connect with Brynne and the struggle on both our parts to play it cool here was immediately obvious. So Dad and Marie were . . . ? Nice. I still thought Marie was hot for a mature woman. The idea dawned on me that maybe my dad was annoyed I was breaking into his romantic evening. Well, shit. “Why didn’t you say so, then?” I asked. “We didn’t need to do it tonight.”

  My dad shook his head at me and kept up the reserve. If I didn’t know any better I’d say he was giving me the cold shoulder. Just me though, not Brynne. He bestowed a warm smile on her and said, “Oh, I think you did need to do it tonight, son.”

  What in the hell? Did he know something already? I was going to crack some heads around if my sister or Fred had spilled the beans. I narrowed my eyes at him. He stone-faced me right back.

  Marie broke the tension. Thank holy fuck. “Brynne, my darling, come help me with the dessert. Raspberry trifle, and it’s going to be divine.”

  I got the urge to smile when she said raspberry, my eyes flashing to meet Brynne’s. She gave me a smiley wink and followed Marie into the kitchen.

  “What’s with the brush-off, Dad? Are we interrupting your evening or something? You could have said tonight wasn’t good, you know.”

&nbs
p; Dad set his jaw and raised both brows, letting me know who was leading this little exchange. Amazing how a parent has that power. Taking me right back in time to my teenage years and squirming in the hot seat for some cock-up mess I’d gotten myself into.

  “Actually, you are interrupting my evening, but that is neither here nor there. I’m always happy to see my son. No, I’m more incredulous that I’ve had to wait for the call from you, Ethan.” He speared me with searching eyes.

  “Can we stop speaking in code here? You’re obviously bent about something.”

  “Oh, yes, something,” he said curtly.

  “What do you mean by that?” My voice cracked. Fuck! I was in trouble now. Dad knew? How?

  “I think you know, son. In fact, I know you know.”

  “You do?” Yeah, voice still cracking like an opera singer onstage. “How is that possible?”

  He actually softened his expression a small bit. “It seems that a great deal of things are possible, son. Imagine my surprise to call up to Hannah’s and have my granddaughter tell me gleefully that Uncle Ethan and Auntie Brynne are preggers.”

  Oh boy! I immediately went for my beard and dragged a hand over it. “So the little monster told you, huh?”

  “Indeed.” Dad still kept up the harsh expression. “Zara had quite a bit to say about it.”

  I held my hands up in surrender. “What do you want me to say, Dad? We got caught, all right? It wasn’t intentional, and I can attest we were as surprised about it as everyone else was!”

  He folded his arms over his chest, seemingly unaffected by catching me off guard. “When is the wedding?”

  I looked down at the floor, suddenly feeling ashamed I had no answer for him. “I’m working on it,” I mumbled.

  “Please tell me you’re getting married right away.” Dad’s voice was getting louder. “You cannot wait until after the baby is born like some of these celebrities do!”