The Brook Kerith: A Syrian story

  CHAP. XI.

  The dogs barked as he unlocked the gate, but a few words quieted them(they still remembered his voice) and he crept upstairs to his room,weary in body and sore of foot, for he had come a long way, havingaccompanied Jesus, whom he had met under the cliffs abutting the lake,to the little pathway cut in the shoulder of the hill that leads toCapernaum. He had not recognised him as he passed, which was notstrange, so unseemly were the ragged shirt and the cloak of camel's orgoat's hair he wore over it, patched along and across, one long tatterhanging on a loose thread. It caught in his feet, and perforce hehitched it up as he walked, and Joseph remembered that he looked uponthe passenger as a mendicant wonder-worker on his round from village tovillage. But Jesus had not gone very far when Joseph was stopped by amemory of a face seen long ago: a pale bony olive face, lit withbrilliant eyes. It is he! he cried; and starting in pursuit and quicklyovertaking Jesus, he called his name. Jesus turned, and there was nodoubt when the men stood face to face that the shepherd Joseph had seenin the cenoby in converse with the president, and the wandering beggarby the lake shore, were one and the same person. Jesus asked him whichway he was walking, and he answered that all directions were the sameto him, for he was only come out for a breath of fresh air beforebed-time. But thinking he had expressed himself vulgarly, he added otherwords and waited for Jesus to speak of the beauty of God's handiwork.Jesus merely mentioned in answer that he was going to Capernaum, wherehe lodged with Simon Peter. But he had not forgotten the brotherhood bythe Dead Sea, and invited Joseph to accompany him and tell him of thosewhom he had left behind. We are of the same brotherhood, he said; andthen, as if noticing Joseph's embarrassment, or you are a proselyte,maybe, who at the end of the first year retired from the order? Many doso. Joseph did not know how to answer this question, for he had notobtained permission from the president to seek Jesus in Egypt, and itseemed to him that the most truthful account he could give of himself atthe cenoby was to say that he was not there long enough to considerhimself even a proselyte. He lived in the cenoby as a visitor, ratherthan as one attached to the order; but how far he might consider himselfan Essene did not matter to anybody. Besides he wished to hear Jesustalk rather than to talk about himself, so he compared his residencewith the Essenes to a clue out of which a long thread had unravelled: athread, he said, that led me into the desert in search of thee.

  Jesus had known Banu, in the desert, and listened attentively whileJoseph told him how Banu was interrupted while speaking of theresurrection by a vision of John baptizing Jesus, and had bidden him goto Jordan and get baptism from John. But it was not John's baptism Isought, but thee, and I arrived breathless, to hear that thou hadst goneaway with him, John not being able to bear the cold of the water anylonger. Afterwards I sought thee hither and thither, till hearing ofthee in Egypt I went there and sought thee from synagogue to synagogue.

  A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns hometo find it, Jesus answered gently, and in a tenderer voice than hisscrannel peacock throat would have led one to expect. And as ifforeseeing an ardent disciple he began to speak to Joseph of God, hisspeech moving on with a gentle motion like that of clouds wreathing andunwreathing, finding new shapes for every period, and always beautifulshapes. He often stopped speaking and his eyes became fixed, as if hesaw beyond the things we all see; and after an interval he would beginto speak again; and Joseph heard that he had met John among the hillsand listened to him, and that if he accepted baptism from him it wasbecause he wished to follow John: but John sought to establish thekingdom of God within the law, and so a dancing-girl asked for his head.It seemed as if Jesus were on the point of some tremendous avowal, butif so it passed away like a cloud, and he put his hand on Joseph'sshoulder affectionately and asked him to tell him about Egypt, a countrywhich he said he had never heard of before. Whereupon Joseph raised hiseyes and saw in Jesus a travelling wonder-worker come down from anorthern village--a peasant, without knowledge of the world and of thegreat Roman Empire. At every step Jesus' ignorance of the worldsurprised Joseph more and more. He seemed to believe that all thenations were at war, and from further discourse Joseph learnt that Jesuscould not speak Greek, and he marvelled at his ignorance, for Jesus onlyknew such Hebrew as is picked up in the synagogues. He did not seek toconceal his ignorance of this world from Joseph, and almost made paradeof it, as if he was aware that one must discard a great deal to gain alittle, as if he would impress this truth upon Joseph, almost as if hewould reprove him for having spent so much time on learning Greek, forinstance, and Greek philosophy. He treated these things as negligiblewhen Joseph spoke of them, and evinced more interest in Joseph himself,who admitted he had returned from philosophy to the love of God.

  Now sitting on his bed, kept awake by his memories, Joseph relived inthought the hours he had spent with Jesus. He seemed to comprehend thesignificance of every word much better now than when he was with Jesus,and he deplored his obtuseness and revised all the answers given toJesus. He remembered with sorrow how he tried to explain to Jesus theteaching of the Alexandrian philosophers regarding the Scriptures,paining Jesus very much by his recital but he had continued to explainfor the sake of the answer that he knew would come at last. It did come.He remembered Jesus saying that philosophies change in different men,but the love of God is the same in all men. A great truth, Joseph saidto himself, for every school is in opposition to another school. But howdid Jesus come to know this being without philosophy? He had beentempted to ask how he was able to get at the truth of things without theGreek language and without education, but refrained lest a questionshould break the harmony of the evening. The past was not yet past andsitting on his bed in the moonlight Joseph could re-see the plaincovered with beautiful grasses and flowers, with low flowering busheswaving over dusky headlands, for it was dark as they crossed the plain;and they had heard rather than seen the rushing stream, bubbling out ofthe earth, making music in the still night. He knew the stream fromearly childhood, but he had never really known it until he stood withJesus under the stars by the narrow pathway cut in the shoulder of thehill, whither the way leads to Capernaum, for it was there that Jesustook his hands and said the words: "Our Father which is in Heaven." Atthese words their eyes were raised to the skies, and Jesus said: whoeveradmires the stars and the flowers finds God in his heart and sees him inhis neighbour's face. And as Joseph sat, his hands on his knees, herecalled the moment that Jesus turned from him abruptly and passed intothe shadow of the hillside that fell across the flowering mead. He heardhis footsteps and had listened, repressing the passionate desire tofollow him and to say: having found thee, I can leave thee never again.It was fear of Jesus that prevented him from following Jesus, and hereturned slowly the way he came, his eyes fixed on the stars, for theday was now well behind the hills and the night all over the valley,calm and still. The stars in their allotted places, he said: as theyhave always been and always will be. He stood watching them. Behind thestars that twinkled were stars that blazed; behind the stars thatblazed were smaller stars, and behind them a sort of luminous dust. Andall this immensity is God's dwelling-place, he said. The stars are God'seyes; we live under his eyes and he has given us a beautiful garden tolive in. Are we worthy of it? he asked; and Jew though he was he forgotGod for a moment in the sweetness of the breathing of earth, for thereis no more lovely plain in the spring of the year than the Plain ofGennesaret.

  Every breath of air brought a new and exquisite scent to him, andthrough the myrtle bushes he could hear the streams singing their waydown to the lake; and when he came to the lake's edge he heard thewarble that came into his ear when he was a little child, which itretained always. He heard it in Egypt, under the Pyramids, and thecataracts of the Nile were not able to silence it in his ears. Butsuddenly from among the myrtle bushes a song arose. It began with alittle phrase of three notes, which the bird repeated, as if to impressthe listener and prepare him for the runs and trills and joyous littlecadenzas that were to follow. A sudden shower
of jewels it seemed like,and when the last drops had fallen the bird began another song, acontinuation of the first, but more voluptuous and intense; and then, asif he felt that he had set the theme sufficiently, he started away intonew trills and shakes and runs, piling cadenza upon cadenza till thetheme seemed lost, but the bird held it in memory while all his musicalextravagances were flowing, and when the inevitable moment came herepeated the first three notes. Again Joseph heard the warbling water,and it seemed to him that he could hear the stars throbbing. It was oneof those moments when the soul of man seems to break, to yearn for thatoriginal unity out of which some sad fate has cast it--a moment when theworld seems to be one thing and not several things: the stars and thestream, the odours afloat upon the stream, the bird's song and the wordsof Jesus: whosoever admires the stars and flowers finds God in hisheart, seemed to become all blended into one extraordinary harmony; andunable to resist the emotion of the moment any longer, Joseph threwhimself upon the ground and prayed that the moment he was living inmight not be taken from him, but that it might endure for ever. Butwhile he prayed, the moment was passing, and becoming suddenly awarethat it had gone, he rose from his knees and returned home mentallyweary and sad at heart; but sitting on his bedside the remembrance thathe was to meet Jesus in the morning at Capernaum called up the ghost ofa departed ecstasy, and his head drowsing upon his pillow he fellasleep, hushed by remembrances.