From Darkness

  Chapter Twelve

  “Here let me.”

  “You’d figure with as many of these that I’ve had to wear lately I’d be better at this by now. It’s not like it’s all that difficult”

  “Well we can’t have everything now can we. If I’d had my way we would have been wearing simple ties or none at all even, but Daisy wanted the fairy tale.”

  “And you don’t mess with a woman’s wedding dream.”

  “No you don’t, but she’s more than worth it. Now turn around and hold still.”

  “Yes she is.” Bane submitted and his eldest continued not missing a beat while he worked his father’s bow tie. He looked at Dane still amazed at the transformation his son had gone through in such a short time. From the harsh, brooding young man obsessed with the fame, fortune, and adoration of a towering music career; to a man full of joy and strength, a husband and a father and a first class musician and partner.

  He still remembered how it felt; to stand outside the studio where his son was recording. The nervousness, the ache, the fear all jockeying for control over him. The questions that bombarded his mind just kept coming, none of which were encouraging and he almost turned to get back in his car, but his feet wouldn’t move any direction but towards the door. Before he knew it Bane was standing in front of a glass partition that separated the recording booth from a sitting area watching his son deep in concentration fingering the frets of his guitar and making notations on the sheet music.

  Dane was good, there was no question about that. He had a natural talent that surpassed his own even in his best condition and Bane had no doubt that his son could do just what he had said in their last conversation. If anyone would outshine him and put him out to pasture he’d be proud for it to be Dane, but what he didn’t want was the separation of their family and it had gone on long enough. It was time to start building a bridge. For months after Dane had stormed out of the house both he and Shaylon had been desperately trying to restore some sort of relationship with their son, to let him know that they still loved him and that he was and always would be part of their family, but their phone calls went straight to voicemail and few were ever returned. When they were it was only through one of the other children or occasionally Shaylon. They invited him to dinner and parties, to holiday celebrations and family vacations, but he never accepted. The entire time the only ones to ever see Dane were his siblings and even then he took great pains to stir up discontent between them and their parents. The look on his face when he noticed his father in the sitting room shown that he was more than a little irritated to see him.

  Dane tried to ignore him, but his concentration was blown and all he could see was that stupid shy smile on his father’s face until he had no choice but to see what he wanted and get rid of him. With a shake of his head he set his guitar on its stand and pushed his way through the soundproof door.

  “I took a listen in the booth, you sound amazing Dane. Course you’ve always had talent.”

  If this was a trick to get on his good side it wasn’t working. “What do you want old man, I’m kind of busy here making the music that ‘sounds amazing’.” His voice dripping with sarcasm.

  “I won’t keep you long, I don’t want to throw your flow, I just wanted to talk to you about a job.”

  Dane smirked; this was too good, his father was actually coming to him for help. How destitute was he?

  “I’ve started my own label and I have a project going and I could use someone of your caliber on guitar. I already have the studio and all the backing I just thought if I wanted a good guitarist why not try for the best one I know?”

  Was he kidding, but he had to give it to his dad he could blow smoke with the best, “I thought you gave up smoking?”

  Bane looked at him expressionless, and the moment stretched before he burst into a deep laugh that brought a smile that Dane couldn’t hide.

  “Good one, I’ll have to remember that, but no I’m serious. You’re good Dane, one of the best I’ve heard and you work hard at it. You’re dedicated when it counts and I’d like that quality on this album.”

  “I thought you gave up music, too evil.” There was still an edge to his attitude.

  “I could never give up music, you were right it’s part me, of who I am. Just because I changed my life doesn’t mean I have to give up my God given talents. Turns out there’s quite a growing market for hard Christian music out there. Old geezers like me who love the fast pace and the sound, but want something deeper in it. You don’t have to put your name to it if you don’t want to be associated with the album, but you’d get a full cut.” Bane could see the indecision in his son’s eyes and plunged ahead before he lost his chance. “You don’t have to decide right away and if you only want to try a single or two that’s fine, you know to see if it’s a fit. I could give you the sheets and you could put your own spin on it. You’ve always been a great composer so any suggestions would be welcome. It could give you some extra to put towards your own album here. I know this ain’t cheap even with your connections, every little bit helps when you’re trying to get something off the ground and with your talent it’d be a shame to lose time because of a lack of funds, but I leave it up to you. It’s a solid offer with no strings attached and absolutely no preaching; promise.”

  Dane had to admit there was a lot of truth in what his father was saying. He may have some issues with the way he threw his life away to join the sheep, but on the other hand he had decades of knowledge and connections that could be worth a few weeks of whatever the old man had planned. “I guess I could take a look at the music, see if there’s a song that might be alright or something. Do you have it with you?”

  Bane pulled a folded stack of sheet music from his jacket pocket and held it out nearly shaking as hope flooded his veins mixing with adrenaline. “Right here. Feel free to make suggestions and whatever you decide I accept completely; no hard feelings. Deal?”

  Dane hesitated before taking the pages, “Alright.”

  It had been a rocky start, but a few days later Bane’s phone rang and his son was on the other end. “I’ve been going over the music you gave me and it’s not half bad,” which was code for ‘I like it’. “So what’s your terms if I decide to do this?”

  That was the start, but a start was all they needed. Bane hadn’t lost his gift for music when gave his life to God, if anything it had grown. His focus was stronger than ever and with the new found spirit of the Lord flowing through him his music held more life, meaning, power and creativity than he had known since he first started playing. He finally put to use some of the space of his mansion estate to create his own home studio with everything he’d need to produce his own album and the time the two spent together grew from a single song to the whole album and beyond. Dane had become part of the family again, staying for dinners and visiting for the sake of spending time with them. There was still a divide between their very different beliefs, but Dane came to respect his father in a way. It took a lot of guts to walk away from a life of fame and fortune to follow Christ and stick to it no matter what. Eventually he came to see that his parents weren’t just a couple of sheep, but a loving, dedicated couple who were just trying to do the best with what they felt to be right and at times he even wondered why they couldn’t have been like this when he was younger. Though those moments were few and he immediately corrected himself.

  It was about a week after Dane’s daughter had been born. To his parents credit not one word had been said about an out of wedlock baby when they found out his girlfriend was pregnant. The sun had just begun to lighten the horizon as Dane sat in his favorite chair holding his little girl after her morning feeding when his father’s words hit him like a ton of bricks. It wasn’t anything his dad had actually said to him but rather to his brother, Dane just happened to overhear it one afternoon while taking a break from the studio. Once again Parker had been caught with another stash of porn, to Dane it was almost comical, his parents attempts to convin
ce his brother of its evils and Parker’s ability to get around every parental block they put in place.

  “Parker I know it doesn’t make sense right now and it’s hard to think in terms like this, but... well how about this, you’re about to be an uncle in a few months right? Well, that niece of yours could one day be one of those girls you’re looking at. It’s like we said that’s somebody’s sister, mother, daughter.”

  At the time Dane had chuckled at his father’s newest argument in convincing Parker to give up pornography, but now…. Holding his baby daughter, feeling the love that threatened to burst from his chest as he watched her; the idea of some guy looking at her, leering at her, and all the rest made him want to throttle any male that came near her, spirit her away to a deserted island or single handedly destroy the porn industry. It was no longer funny and for the first time in his life he agreed with his father. The longer he sat with his girl in his arms feeling such a desire to protect, love, provide, teach and so much more he finally heard that still small voice of God answer him when he asked, “What can I do? I want to give you so much, everything I have, everything I am. I want you to know how much I love you every day of my life since the moment you were born.”

  ‘Then why deny her the greatest love of all? Why deny her My love which is eternal and goes so far beyond your own?’

  For days Dane couldn’t get those words out of his head and every question that could possibly go with it crossed his mind again and again. How could he deny his daughter the possibility of God’s ultimate love if it was true, but how could he show his daughter God’s love and teach her about His grace if he himself had no concept of it? It took becoming a father himself for him to begin to understand some of what his own father had been trying to tell him, and what the idea of a Heavenly Father could mean, but did he even believe it? If he did that was one thing, but what if he didn’t? What if he still didn’t go in for all this ‘God is the only way’ stuff? He didn’t know, but something was going on that much he couldn’t deny.

  Dane lay on his back, hands folded beneath his head. All was still and quiet, the baby was sleeping peacefully until her next bottle and the only movement was the light streaming up the wall and across the ceiling through the crack in the curtains as a lone car passed by. He’d probably still be awake when his daughter awoke for her next feeding, oh well Daisy could use the extra sleep and he shifted to watch his girlfriend slumber in the bed beside him; her gentle breaths rising and falling in the night. He had asked her right before the baby was born if she’d marry him. She declined. In retrospect saying, “So you think we should, you know? Since we’re going to have a kid and all?” probably wasn’t the best way to propose and his “We could still do the marriage thing”, after the birth was just as bad. No wonder she turned down his ‘generous’ offer. He was only half kidding when he asked her, but he was more than a little relieved when she told him that she wasn’t ready. Now he was beginning to wonder.

  “God, if you’re real, if you’re there... show me, help me, do something; anything. Just... just don’t ... leave me.” It just popped out before he realized it, but once it was out there, there was no taking it back. Strange thing was, he didn’t want to.

  He’d like to say that at that moment a shining angel appeared at the foot of his bed proclaiming the word and existence of God, but not even the light from another vehicle graced his wall the rest of the night. Nor did any miracle arrive the next night or the next or even the next, but something did happen. It was slight, small at first, but there was no denying it was there. The songs his father was working on took on a new meaning, quotes that he had tried so hard to ignore from the Bible would stick in his head, and whenever he held his child that same still small voice he had heard that first night repeated over and over, “I love you my son even more than you love her.” Over time he realized that he was changing as well, he couldn’t explain it and to say that it was ‘just God’ seemed like too simple of an answer, but something was happening in his life, something unexplainable and amazing and even a little scary and in that same bed, with his hands stuffed behind his head and the room just as dark and quiet as before he surrendered.

  “Alright, I... I admit it, my dad was right as much as it pains me to say that. You’re real and you’re there and you listen and yes; you answer. You answered me when I’d done nothing but reject you and insult those who had any faith in you. I was wrong and I’m sorry. I don’t know how this whole thing is supposed to go, I guess I should have paid more attention, but bottom line is I know I need you. No more running away, no more doubting, I’m ready for whatever it is you want me to do. Save me, from this world, from my sins, from myself.” and God did.

  Dane kept his new found relationship with Christ a secret. He’s not sure why he did, maybe it was because he was afraid. Afraid that Daisy would look at him differently and he’d end up losing her, afraid of what it meant for his future, his career. Afraid of what others would say after he’d spent so much time railing against God and his family’s new found obsession with Him. Or maybe it was because he was afraid of himself, of failing as a Christian and the backlash that would bring with whomever he told, but he couldn’t hide the change that was happening to him and a few months later Daisy said “yes”. They were lying in bed, Dane’s arm wrapped around her holding her close as she gently ran her fingers across his skin. Then softly she simply said, “Yes.”

  “Hmm?”

  “Yes, if your offer is still good. If you’re serious, then yes; I’ll marry you.”

  He was floored and at first she took his silence as a hint that she’d misread their relationship, but she soon found herself rolled on her back staring up into the largest smile she’d ever seen sprawled across Dane’s face. He ran his fingers over her cheek tracing her freckles, then he kissed her; over and over again he kissed her before suddenly stopping. “No wait; wait,” and he slid out of bed running around to her side and dropping to one knee where he proposed like he should have from the start.

  Amongst all the wedding planning and hoopla one thought nagged at him daily. ‘Shouldn’t she know? Out of everyone here shouldn’t she be given the opportunity to choose whether or not she wanted to get married to a man that had given his life to Christ?’ He still wasn’t completely sure what that even meant, how would she handle it? Yet each time they surfaced he’d rationalize them back into the shadows. After all she had a lot on her plate between being a new mother and planning a wedding. No need to add to her stress right now, he’d tell her after things died down; after the wedding. Maybe on the honeymoon when they were relaxed and calm, but that voice only grew louder until it could no longer be ignored.

  The setting sun had turned the horizon into a masterpiece of color and the gentle surf with its warm salty breeze gave a hint of perfection to the rehearsal dinner and Daisy looked radiant as ever in her strapless turquoise dress. He’d fought long and hard with himself, but he knew he was doing the right thing; she had to know and less than twenty-four hours before they were to take their vows Dane pulled his bride to be out onto the veranda of the seaside resort and told her the truth.

  “Daisy, sweetie... you know I love you right?”

  “I think you should if you’re going to marry me tomorrow.”

  “And there’s nothing in the world I want to do more than to stand up in that church tomorrow and say I do. You have to know that Dais.”

  He’d said her nickname a thousand times, but this time was different, “Dane what’s the matter? You’re beginning to scare me.”

  “No, no it’s nothing bad, I mean there’s nothing wrong... I just... I think you should know...?”

  “Don’t chicken out on me now tough guy not when you’ve come so far. Whatever it is we’ll get through it, I have faith in you; in us.”

  “That’s just it Dais, the only reason I’ve come so far is,” he took a deep breath and let it all out, “because I got saved. I gave my life to Christ a few months back; I’m a Christian now
Daisy and I don’t regret it not a bit. I know I should have told you sooner, that now isn’t the best time to lay this on you, but I couldn’t let you marry me tomorrow without knowing the whole truth; without knowing what you were getting with the whole ‘till death do us part’ deal.”

  She lowered her head and his heart went with it, “Then I guess that means we have one more thing in common.”

  Dane could barely believe his ears, it was too good to be true, but there it was written as clearly as the smile he noticed on her beautiful face. It seems that his family had had more of an influence on Daisy than he had ever expected and her admission of also claiming the mantle of Christian was the only thing that could have made this day and the next and the next even more perfect. The two conspired, changing their vows at the last minute to declare in front of everyone that they would indeed be starting a life together as husband and wife under the saving grace of God. Double the tears were shed that day and regardless of those that mocked and murmured behind the couples back nothing could damper their joy and after they returned from their honeymoon Dane became a full partner with his father’s record label.

  The arrangement couldn’t have been more perfect as it turned out Dane had a good head for the business side as well as the music. He brought in new talent fresh and helped to expand his father’s dream which quickly became his own as well and Redeemed Records thrived.