Let's Be Just Friends

  “Nah, Lori might still hope she can change my mind.”

  Alice’s pulse sped up as she asked, “Can she?”

  “No way. If I had any doubts, yesterday’s trip cleared them up for good.” Jack made a gun with his fingers and shot himself in the head. “Worst Friday night of my life.”

  “Really?” Alice couldn’t hide her amusement.

  He nodded. “Really. Ice, why don’t you turn on your laptop and we get going. You can give me more grief later. Deal?” Jack added a stomach-flipping wink.

  “Deal,” Alice whispered, suddenly out of breath.

  As she powered on her Mac, her fingers prickled with optimism. Both their relationships had ended on the same day; it had to mean something. Today was tell-your-best-friend-you-love-him day. She’d wait until they were done with the project to speak to Jack. Or jump him. He was single and wouldn’t stay so for long; this was her moment. After all, how bad could it go? Not as tragic as with Lori. The worst he could say was no…

  Three

  Alice

  Alice burst into her three-bedroom apartment, slamming the door shut behind her. Ignoring her roommates’ questioning faces, she crossed the entrance hall to her room and flung herself onto the twin bed. Alice hid her head under the pillow and suffocated a scream into the bedcover.

  Both her roommates followed her into her room.

  “Are you okay?” Haley asked.

  “Hey, what’s up?” Madison said.

  Alice rolled on the bed so she was facing the ceiling. Still holding the pillow over her face, she muttered something incomprehensible.

  The mattress dipped as her friends sat next to her, one on each side of the bed. “You might have to repeat that without the pillow covering your mouth,” Haley suggested, her voice coming from the right.

  Alice lifted the pillow to say, “I just humiliated myself in the worst possible way,” and then hid her face again.

  “How?” Haley asked.

  She pressed the pillow harder against her face and shook her head, refusing to speak.

  Haley tickled her flanks. “Come on, out with it.”

  Alice thrashed on the bed, trying to make Haley stop until she finally tossed the pillow aside. “I surrender!” she yelled. “I’ll tell you everything.” She recovered the pillow from the floor, catching sight of Blue—her pet bunny—hopping away from the commotion. Alice straightened up and settled the pillow behind her head, then took a moment to study her friends.

  On her left, Madison. An introverted poet in the body of a statuesque blonde who dressed like a boho hippie. Her long, soft curls were always loose, and a book was constantly in her hands, like now. On Alice’s right, Haley. An edgy computer science geek with a sleek, dark bob and an urban style. Whenever Haley had something in her hands, it was some techie gadget with software in it. They were both smiling at her encouragingly.

  “I hit on Jack!” Alice confessed.

  Madison looked down at her with big eyes. “You didn’t!” she yelped, her grip tightening on the hardback in her lap.

  “I did.”

  “I take it didn’t go well,” Haley said.

  Alice groaned. “Worse.”

  “What happened to our plan of waiting for a gap in girlfriends while you moved out of the friend zone?” Haley asked.

  Madison nodded, but kept silent; she was letting Haley run the interrogation.

  “The gap presented itself sooner than we thought.” Alice told them about the kidnapping debacle. “And you know how Jack is. He would’ve been dating someone else by Monday, so I… I…”

  “Did something stupid and impulsive?” Haley offered.

  Alice nodded.

  “What did you do? You jumped him?”

  “I tried.” Alice moaned with shame. “I threw myself at him, and he was like ‘Thanks, but no, thanks.’”

  Anxiety broke on Haley’s face. “I’m so sorry,” she said.

  “Me too,” Madison added, looking fretful and worried.

  Haley took Alice’s limp hand, squeezing it. “Did he say why?”

  “He said we’re friends.” Madison and Haley both kept silent, waiting for the rest. So Alice gave it to them. “And that’s when I practically begged him for it. And he just kept saying no.”

  “You begged?” Haley repeated. “Give us specifics.”

  “He said I was his friend, and I countered by saying he has slept with all his female friends. He told me that’s exactly why he doesn’t have many left. So I told him Felicity is still his best friend, even though she’s female and he slept with her.”

  “Who’s this Felicity?” Haley asked.

  “She’s his oldest friend from Indianapolis.”

  “What happened between them?” Madison asked.

  “I don’t know the specifics. Only that at some point they had a relationship that didn’t end well. And Jack was all like,” Alice started talking in a mock dude voice, “It took me two years to be friends with her again after I broke up with her. I won’t screw up another friendship.” She made a finishing gesture with her hands. “End of story.”

  “Hmm. What happened after that cozy little chat?” Haley asked.

  “He told me I was upset about Ethan dumping me.”

  “Which is sort of true,” Madison said. “I still can’t believe my cousin broke up with you.”

  “It doesn’t matter, really. I’m not upset about Ethan, I’m upset about Jack.”

  “How did you leave things?” Haley asked.

  “I followed his lead and pleaded temporary ‘I-was-dumped’ insanity.”

  “Well, at least you didn’t give him the ‘I’ve been desperately in love with you for two years’ speech,” Haley said. “Harder to take back.”

  “No doubt,” Alice agreed.

  “What if Jack was right?” Madison asked. Alice flashed her an incendiary stare, so her friend hurried to explain. “I mean, he’s not exactly boyfriend material, and you don’t want to be friends with benefits.”

  “I know he’s attracted to me—”

  Haley scoffed. “He’s attracted to every good-looking female.”

  “Fair enough, but we have a deeper bond. We’re not just friends.” Alice pointed a finger at them in turns. “You both said that.”

  “Yeah, okay,” Haley conceded. “But put yourself in his shoes.”

  “How so?”

  Haley sighed. “He’s a guy, gorgeous, and he can have all the girls he likes. He enjoys his popularity with the ladies. When he gets tired, or when a relationship gets too serious, he moves on to another girl. But he has you for all his emotional needs. A constant, steady connection he doesn’t risk screwing up by sleeping with someone else. You told me yourself he doesn’t have self-control when it comes to sex.”

  “Well, he does with me.” Alice pouted.

  Haley gave her an encouraging smile. “Which, in a twisted way, tells you how much he cares about you.”

  “He can keep Felicity as his emotional backup.”

  “Felicity is a thousand miles away,” Haley pointed out. “You’re here.”

  “And I don’t think him confiding in his ex would work so great for you,” Madison added. “Do you even know her?”

  “I’ve seen her around campus a couple of times when she came to visit.”

  “Why don’t you talk to her and get an informed opinion?” Madison suggested. “Ask her if it was worth risking their friendship for a shot at love.”

  Alice shrugged. “I don’t have her number.”

  “Mm, helloooo?” Haley said. “Pity we don’t live in a world where finding people on the Internet is just a name search away. I wish there was a website for that, how about we invent it and become gazillionaires?”

  “I’m not friending her on Facebook,” Alice replied stubbornly. “And I’m not talking to her. I can’t risk anything getting back to Jack. I don’t even know if I can trust her—what if she’s still ho
lding a torch for him? I’d pour my heart out to her, and the next second she’d spill everything to Jack. I’d be digging my own grave.”

  “You don’t know that,” Madison said. “Aren’t you curious to talk to the only person who can tell you how the friend-girlfriend-friend cycle really is?”

  “Even if she said being with him wasn’t worth ruining their friendship, it would mean nothing. They may not have been able to make it work, but that doesn’t mean it would go wrong with us, too.”

  “You want to be his girlfriend, and he doesn’t want a girlfriend,” Haley said flatly. “You could be headed down the same destructive path as Felicity if you’re not careful.”

  “What if he broke up with Felicity because he wasn’t in love with her?” Alice insisted.

  Haley x-rayed her. “And he is with you?”

  Alice shrugged. “There’s a deep connection between us, something more than a friendship. If, as you said, he relies on me emotions-wise, what do you call that?”

  Haley blew out, making her bangs balloon for a second. “Complicated.”

  “It is. But I’m tired of playing the ‘friend’ role, pretending I don’t have feelings for him. I’d rather try and fail, than not try because he’s afraid it could fail.”

  “So what do we do now?” Madison asked.

  Alice lifted up to a sitting position, lying back against the headboard. “We make him jealous.”

  “You were with my cousin for months, and Jack never showed signs of jealousy.”

  “Jack never saw me with Ethan,” Alice said. “There’s a big difference between knowing someone is dating in theory, and seeing it with your own eyes.”

  Madison arched her brows. “So you’re looking for a casual hook up?”

  “Ew. No!” Alice grimaced. “I just want to show Jack what he’s missing.”

  “How?” Haley asked.

  “For once, I’ll shed the geek uniform.” Alice stuck to a conservative dress code in class, and Jack had never seen her dressed to impress. “It’s time he realizes I’m a woman. I could read the indecision in his eyes before he said ‘no.’ He just needs a push.”

  Madison scratched her cheek before asking, “No chance you saw only what you wanted to see?”

  “No, I’m positive, and I’m tired of pretending. I don’t want to be his friend. Watching him sleep his way through campus is like dying a slow death. It makes me live in fear one of his girls will eventually stick around, and that it won’t be me. I get anxious whenever he dates someone for more than a month, and I’m not interested in being his emotional fix forever.” Alice waved one hand in the air dismissively. “If he really feels nothing for me, I’d rather find out now and move on with my life.”

  A muffled squeal coming from under the bed shifted Alice’s focus. She bent over to reach the floor and pick Blue up. “This is all your fault,” she told the dark gray bunny as she stroked his soft fur. “If you hadn’t scurried off to his room in our freshman year, I would’ve never met Jack.”

  A flashback of that day forced its way into Alice’s mind.

  ***

  Alice was running down the hall of her newly assigned freshmen dorm to find Blue. Her stupid roommate had let him out of his cage and then forgotten to close their door. Alice popped her head inside every room on both sides of the hall, asking, “Hi, have you seen a small bunny, dark gray fur? No? Thanks anyway.” And she moved to the next.

  Her anxiety was growing with each passing door—that was until she reached the end of the corridor and stopped on the threshold of the last room. Inside, a guy was sitting on a twin bed holding Blue in his lap. He was wearing a simple white T-shirt, black basketball shorts, and man’s slides. And he was SO hot.

  Alice barged into the room. “You found Blue,” she shrieked, startling both human and bunny.

  A pair of dark eyes focused on her and the boy’s expression changed from slightly alarmed to interested. Something fluttered inside Alice’s belly. Blue had stumbled upon the best-looking boy of the dorm: dark-brown hair, square jaw, and a general tousled, bad-boy aura.

  Alice lowered her gaze, suddenly self-conscious. His scrutiny felt like having a spotlight pointed at her face. She did a quick mental checklist of the state of her hair, makeup, and clothes. Um, probably not good; she’d run out of her room midway through her unpacking, in cozy clothes, no makeup, and her hair was a recently bleached mess.

  “Hello stranger,” the boy said, flashing her a mischievous grin.

  “Hi.” Alice pushed an unruly lock of hair behind her ear. “You have my bunny.”

  The hottie scratched Blue behind the ears, making him purr. I’d purr, too, if it were me, she thought.

  “Blue, is it?” he asked.

  “Yep.”

  The boy cocked his head toward her. “And you are?”

  “Alice.”

  “I’m Jack.”

  “Nice to meet you.” Alice took a tentative step forward. “Can I have him back?”

  “Wait, don’t I get a reward for finding him?” Jack teased.

  He should get a reward for finding you, Alice thought. Instead, she said, “Your reward would be that I take Blue back before he poops on you.” Did I really just say “poop” in front of a super-hot guy? Alice blushed as she watched Jack’s smile switch back from dashing to mildly worried. She closed the distance between them and took the struggling bunny from his hands. At the light brush of skin on skin, a shiver ran through her.

  “You start tomorrow?” Jack asked. “Or are you one of the luckies with no lectures on Monday?”

  “Definitely not lucky.” Alice shook her head. “My first class is at a stupid early hour.”

  “Same bad luck here. You picked a concentration already?”

  Alice frowned. “Concentration?”

  “It’s the fancy word they use around here for major,” Jack explained.

  “Oh, that.” Why can’t they just call it major? “Chemistry.”

  “No way, same as me.” His face lit up. “You’re in Professor Chase’s class?”

  “Yes.” Same major—concentration, whatever—same classes. I’ll see you almost every day. Alice did a secret victory dance inside her head.

  “Me too.” The “I’m interested” smirk was back on his face. “Want to go together?”

  “Sure.” Alice clutched Blue more tightly as the bunny tried to leap out of her grasp and back into Jack’s lap. “I’m just a few doors down, room 254.”

  “I’ll stop by tomorrow morning. Deal?”

  “Deal.”

  “See you later I guess, Ice.”

  Alice’s face fell a little. “It’s Alice.”

  “Mind if I go with Ice?”

  Usually, her name got shortened to Ali or Ally. Lice once, thanks to a mean girl in fourth grade. But never Ice.

  “Why Ice?” she asked.

  “It has the most beautiful crystalline structure.”

  Oh! He was flirting with her using molecular structures if this wasn’t perfect chemistry…

  On impulse, as Alice left the room and walked down the hall, she looked back. Jack was leaning against his doorframe, watching her go.

  ***

  “You would’ve met Jack in class the next day anyway,” Haley said, bringing Alice back to present.

  “Yeah, but if it wasn’t for this little guy”—she kissed Blue and set him back on the floor—“we wouldn’t have gone together. I wouldn’t have sat next to him that day, or the next, and now I wouldn’t be stuck in the stupid friend zone.”

  “It could be worse,” Haley insisted. “You could’ve slept with Jack freshman year and now he wouldn’t even remember your name.”

  On Alice’s other side, Madison blushed a furious red. She was very self-conscious of one-night stands and guys ditching her afterward.

  Alice crossed her arms and pouted. “Say what you like, I’m tired of waiting.”

  “What’s your evil
plan to make him jealous?” Madison asked.

  “He’s going out with the team tonight,” Alice said. Jack played varsity basketball for the Harvard Crimson. “He doesn’t know I know his plans.”

  Haley narrowed her eyes at her. “And how do you know?”

  “A girl in my photography class is dating a guy on the team. She told me.”

  “And what are these plans?” Madison pressed.

  “Halloween house party; I’m going, and you’re coming with me.”

  “To a party populated by tall basketball players?” Madison smirked. “Who am I to complain? Where’s the party? Is it walk-in, or do we need an invite?”

  “It’s someone’s house off campus, and all Kappa Kappa Gamma are invited.”

  Their sorority was where Alice, Haley, and Madison had met. After becoming close friends, they’d moved in together at the beginning of sophomore year. Greek life at Harvard wasn’t residential, so no sorority house. Both Haley and Alice had been recruited as freshmen, while for Madison Smithson, being a Kappa Kappa Gamma was a family legacy. Just as it was going to Harvard, and then Harvard Law School. The sorority was also where Alice had met Madison’s cousin who, at the time, was a senior and chose to mentor Alice. Now Georgiana was in law school. Weird how many people in Alice’s life shared the same surname. Ethan, too, was a Smithson. The only one ever to quit the family’s law firm to start his own real estate business. He was the black sheep of the family. Alice, Ethan could be a golden sheep, you don’t care. He dumped you! Stop thinking about that particular Smithson.

  “What about Emily’s party?” Haley asked. “I told her we were going.”

  “Yeah, but her parties suck. We can stop on our way to say hello, stay half an hour, and then join the real paaarrrtyy.” Alice bobbed her shoulders up and down to an imaginary tune.

  “We’re sold on the party switch.” Haley nodded. “But just showing up won’t be enough to mess with Jack. So…?”

  “I’ve no idea. I figure I’ll make it up as I go.” Alice looked at her friends with a conspiratorial air. “Your task is to make me as hot as I can be in my costume.” She struck a pin-up pose, pushing her chest forward and locking her hands behind her head. “I want to show him what he’s saying ‘no’ to.”