Zombie Resurrection: Episode 1
It had been years since The Reverend Jeremiah Jones of Living Way Worship Center in Atlanta, Georgia had attended a meeting like this. It was the Monday morning after the first day of the “Infuse your Ministry with Power” conference, and he remembered why. These things were excuses to trade business cards and set up preaching engagements. He did enjoy the fact that the location of the camp was in the middle of nowhere.
The title of the first seminar was, “Ditch the building fund and move into your new church.” Reverend Jones was too old to fall for that one, but he did show up. And it was a waste of his time.
Most of the seminar was Pastor Carlton from New York showing pictures and bragging about a building that he convinced his church to buy. A few questions from the other ministers demonstrated that Carlton had purchased a building the church couldn’t afford and now they were choking on the debt load. Reverend Jones remembered that Pastor Carlton was trying to get a transfer out of that church.
After that debacle, Reverend Jones ate lunch with his old friend from seminary, Minister Ben Deed. Reverend Jones loved Minister Deed. Deed never took anything at face value. That’s why nobody ever ordained him. He called himself a jack-leg preacher. Deed even held it as a badge of honor.
“So, Jones, you ready to stop carrying water for the denomination?” Minister Deed asked Reverend Jones.
Reverend Jones laughed. “It’s better than drinking THAT water you ‘bout to drink,” he shot back.
“Well, this is a little stronger than water,” Minister Deed said. The two ministers laughed together.
“So what seminar did you go to?” Reverend Jones asked him.
“I just got up, had a bad hangover and my head still hurts,” he said a little too loud. The other ministers glared over at them.
“Bring your voice down.”
“See, that’s your problem, Jones. You worry what people think of you. I don’t care. If the Lord can turn water into wine, I am sure that I can have a sip.”
Ben always had a way of calming Reverend Jones. It was true that he didn’t care at all what folks thought. He was pastoring a 40-member church in the back woods of Georgia. Reverend Jones always remembered that he toed the line and he was still in a small 70-member church. But at least he was in the urban center of Atlanta.
“Come on, Jones. They may call you Elder because you’re ordained, and I ain’t ordained, but what the hell difference does it make to the folks you are called to help? But you think about that/ I need another nap if I’m going to stay awake when the good Bishop charges us up to do his bidding.” He smiled and walked away.
Ben had always been a good friend to Reverend Jones. When Reverend Jones needed a place to stay, Minister Deed was always there. One thing that was certain was that Minister Deed always told him what he thought was the truth. He was a straight shooter in the land of crooks and charlatans.
Reverend Jones looked around to make sure that no one “important” had seen or heard their conversation. One wrong word could kill a career, and being seen with ole Minister Deed was a quick way to kill it.
Reverend Jones eased into a conversation with another, “safer” minister. They began talking about the usual things ministers talk about. They talked about not having enough money to do ministry and not having enough help do the things they wanted to do.
After lunch, Reverend Jones went to the “Much Prayer, Much Power” seminar. He figured he had drifted from God over the years, so this seminar might help him get back to being closer to God.
Too bad the seminar bored Reverend Jones. The presenter, Bishop Lewis, droned on and on about how much we need to pray to make it. It was as if Bishop Lewis thought that a powerful prayer would keep people from falling asleep. By the end of the seminar, Reverend Jones figured that most of the attendees were praying the seminar would soon end.
After that seminar, it was time for the united plenary session at the big pavilion. The presenter would be the host of the conference, Bishop Meeks. Bishop Meeks presented a rousing sermon about standing firm on the “Word of God.”
The message energized Reverend Jones while it was going on. But he lost all energy after it ended. Reverend Jones figured he hadn’t heard anything that could help him either in his ministry or in his life.
The only thing left for the day was dinner and an evening service. Reverend Jones walked back to his cabin. Well, they called it a cabin, but it looked more like a suite. They hooked that camp ground up even though it was in the middle of nowhere. It was three hours off the interstate to get to it. And it was very nice. It had state-of-the-art everything. Somebody said the Adventists created the campground and something about the end of the world and staying in the woods. Whatever the reason, this suite was very nice.
In the cabin when Reverend Jones got there was his roommate for the week, Minister Benny Lester. He was a minister in training at Reverend Jones’ church in Atlanta. He was already in the suite looking at the television.
“Now that Bishop Meeks knows how to put it down, did you hear that whoop? Lord…” Minister Lester said.
“Now Minister, remember that it is the light that holds the people and not the flash,” Reverend Jones said, trying to get Minister Lester back on track. Reverend Jones believed that Minister Lester was one of those young preachers that wanted to moan and groan about somebody’s breakthrough or money coming on the horizon. It was for this reason that Reverend Jones brought Minister Lester on the trip; to try to bring more depth to the young minister’s ministry.
“Don’t worry, Pastor, I got the point. Stand on the Word and you can’t go wrong.”
It had been years since Reverend Jones had “stood on the Word” or even “believed the Word.” Most of his denomination accepted this as rudimentary, but now Reverend Jones was not so sure.
“What do you mean?” Reverend Jones asked.
“Stand firm on the Word that God has given. God will make a way. I am young, but now I am old, and I have never seen the righteous forsaken or his seed begging bread. That’s what I am talking about, pastor.”
“Well, my young apprentice, we need to think deeper about what it means to stand on the Word. When I have elderly members cutting pain pills in half and eating cat food, even though they prayed for a better life, what do I tell them? Is it only platitudes that we have to give them, minister?”
“You don’t believe the Word?” Minister Lester asked.
“We’ll get back to this later,” Reverend Jones said while turning on the television. Right on the television was a vision of a man chasing people and attempting to bite them.
“What’s that? Looks like somebody took a camera on one of our bad streets after dark,” Minister Lester joked
“Well, it is Atlanta. I am not sure what street it is on, though.”
“Oh yeah, I was looking at the Internet earlier today. Some people are saying the flu shot caused it. Some other people claim it is a bad batch of weed. Some even claim the president is trying to change the subject from his latest military strikes,” Minister Lester said.
“Now I told you to stop looking at that other crazy news channel,” Reverend Jones said while Minister Lester chuckled.
“Hold on, let me turn it up,” Reverend Jones said.
“Government officials are limiting plane travel to and from the Atlanta area to official personnel. There are no other restrictions at this time. Governor Scott and President Barry met to discuss this public health issue. Many travelers are stuck in Atlanta due to it being a hub for many airlines. Please contact your travel agent to book your flights,” The announcer said in a rather matter-of-fact tone.
“Shutting down flight travel into Atlanta. Now that tells me this is serious. We ought to think about heading back home. If we leave now, we can get there by midnight,” Reverend Jones said.
“Come on, there are two more days, pastor. And do I have to remind you that Reverend Buster Mack from Compton is going to be here tomorrow? Let’s wait till after he preaches. Then we can go home. Yo
u have to get him to our church. I love that guy!”
Buster Mack was one of the top revivalists out there right now. Reverend Jones once heard him work a crowd in to a frenzy while counting from 1 to 30. That exhibition was when Reverend Jones decided that Reverend Mack would never be in his church.
“OK. Let’s hear Buster Mack and head home,” Reverend Jones relented, even though he shuddered at the thought of one of Mack’s seminars that attempted to teach you how to preach about nothing.
“OK, pastor, I’m headed to the young preacher’s seminar on sexual purity led by Pastor Mann,” Minister Lester said.
“I think I’m staying in and going to bed. Have a good time,” Reverend Jones said.
Reverend Jones thought about the ridiculous notion of Pastor Mann, who had five kids from three women, preaching about purity.
When Minister Lester walked out, Reverend Jones picked up the phone to call his head deacon, Tasker, to find out if he could figure out what was happening in Atlanta.
He dialed the church and Deacon Tasker picked it up on the second ring. It sounded like there was yelling in the background.
“I called to see how everything was going--.”
Before Reverend Jones could finish speaking, Deacon Tasker interrupted him.
“It’s bad in Atlanta,” Deacon Tasker said with a great urgency in his voice.