Our Broken Love

  “Yes,” she whispered and cleared her throat roughly. “The doctors are sure that I will never get those months back.”

  He nodded, thoughts racing through his head. This wasn’t her fault, he assured himself. She couldn’t help that she didn’t remember him or what they had been to each other. All the memories that had helped him hold onto his sanity while he had been away from her, were gone from her mind.

  But…

  If the good memories were gone, then so were the bad ones.

  Maybe this was a way for them to start over. He didn’t have to tell her—hurt her all over again—with the reasons why she had felt the need to kick him out of her life. Instead, he could give her new memories. A completely fresh start for the both of them.

  “Okay.” He told her, giving her a small smile as he approached her carefully so as not to scare her. “Let’s sit down, dolcezza. I want to tell you all about us.”

  ***

  After only a slight hesitation Alexis let Jared help her return to the sofa. This time he sat closer, his thigh right up against hers, making her entire body feel like it was against a live flame. She didn’t know why she let him, why she didn’t protest and make him scoot over. All she knew was that she liked it, and that she felt way too comfortable with him.

  His arm was around her shoulders, his fingers caressing the base of her neck making her shiver deliciously. His warm, sweet smelling breath was hot against her cheek as he brushed his lips across it. His nose nuzzled her ear and he inhaled deeply. “God, I’ve missed the smell of your skin,” he breathed.

  “J-Jared…” She turned her head and met his molasses colored eyes. “Tell me about us,” she commanded in a voice that she had wanted to be strong, but held a hint of a quiver.

  “We met at one of Gabriella’s concerts. She was doing a free show for GreenPlanet,” he said after a moment more of nuzzling her ear. “I saw you backstage and had to stop and catch my breath. In that moment you captivated me and I knew that you were going to change my life. The chemistry between us was crazy. I have never experienced that kind of magic in my life until we touched for the first time.” He skimmed his fingers down her cheek. “Even now, I can feel the sensation all the way to my bones from simply brushing of my fingers against your soft skin.”

  The way he painted the picture of their first meeting was magical. She was captivated by the way he explained her reaction to him. The peach color her skin had turned as she had blushed as their gazes locked. The way her eyes had gone from amber to chocolate as he had kissed her for the first time that same night. And she believed every word of it. She could picture doing everything he described because her reaction was the exact same now.

  His lips brushed across hers, a soft whisper of contact that made her dizzy with desire for him. “I want to tell you that we took things slow. That I was patient with you, but that would be a lie. I spent the next three days tempting you into my bed and when I finally got you where we both wanted you to be, I kept you there for days.”

  The sound of that deep, caressing voice and his gentle touch to the sensitive skin on her neck was putting a spell on her and she found herself leaning closer, letting her lips meet his in a kiss that was slow and so tender it made her eyes burn with tears. A picture of them tangled together on a massive bed while her moans filled the air flashed through her mind, and she let her tongue skim across his bottom lip. His groan gave her courage and she did it again, loving the taste of him.

  “Lexis…” He kissed her once more before reluctantly pulling away. “I promised to tell you about us. After we came up for air, which was much later, we settled into a routine. We spent the rest of the summer in New York City so you could spend a little more time with Gabriella. Weekends were spent having picnics in central park or just being lazy around my apartment. We actually tried to go a full day without seeing each other once. But that ended with me feeling as if I was going to climb the walls. I took you to Rome for a week … but we mostly spent it in bed. Sorry, I will have to take you back again and actually show you my favorite places.”

  It was sounding as if their relationship had been full of romance and lovemaking. But it was also sounding more like a dream, not reality. Alexis pulled away. Everything that she had been told when she had woken up in the hospital filtered back into her brain and she stood up once more. She couldn’t think clearly with him so close, with his drug inducing breath on her lips and his taste on her tongue.

  She moved so that she had the full length of the sofa between them and held on to the back for support. “That all sounds so…wonderful,” she told him. “But what happened once I had to go back to Connecticut?”

  “We moved into my house. You had school and I had to work, but nothing had changed between us. If anything, my feelings were only growing more intense. You…” He closed his eyes and smiled. “You told me you loved me half way through September.”

  Her accident had been five weeks later. What had happened between her telling him she loved him and… “Why did we break up?” she demanded, her tone neutral as she tried to fight the memories of all the things her family had told her, needing to know what part he had played in it.

  He stood and walked away from her, his hands thrust into his pockets once more. “We had a misunderstanding. I had to go to Rome, my father had been sick. You called me one day and told me that you never wanted to see me again.” His jaw clenched as if he was reliving something painful. “I was so busy with everything going on over there that I didn’t have time to fix us right then. So I let you have some time to cool off. I thought that when I could get away I would have time to win you back…”

  She wrung her hands together, desperate for answers … But unable to ask the questions that were driving her crazy. Alexis closed her eyes. “Why did I break it off? There had to be a good reason. From what you just said, we were happy. You made it sound like we were living in some kind of love filled wonderland. But … My parents … The doctors…” She swallowed hard and opened her eyes, needing to see his face. “They told me that I wasn’t exactly the picture of happiness right before the accident. I have never been a wild child. I hate the taste of alcohol, yet that night I had twice the legal limit in my system.”

  His dark eyes clouded, pain etched into his face. “You weren’t too clear on your reasons, Lexis. When I tried to call you back you sent me straight to voice mail. All my texts went unanswered … I swear to you, love. If things had not been so crazy at the time I would have been by your side in a heartbeat. Whatever was going through your gorgeous head while I was away … I wish I knew.”

  They stood there, unable to look away from one another for a long tense moment. Alexis felt as if she had been hit by a truck all over again. His explanation had only left more questions for her. And she knew that she couldn’t touch on the biggest question that was eating away at her sanity. Not yet.

  Minutes passed. It felt like hours, perhaps even days before she could bring herself to look away from him. Her heart was aching, and despite the conflict, her emotions were under she didn’t want to leave him. But she knew that for the sake of her sanity that she had to.

  “Take me home,” she murmured, reaching for her crutches with hands that visibly shook.

  “Lexis … Please, don’t push me away.” He grasped her hands and turned her to face him. His expression was one of torment. “If I have to make you fall in love with me all over again I will. Give me a chance.”

  “I’m not that girl anymore,” she whispered. “I don’t even know who I am anymore! After everything you just told me … It’s a lot to take in and sort out. I need some time to make sense of it all.”

  “Time,” he repeated, and slowly nodded his head. “I can give you some time. Just don’t make it too much time, please love. I’ve been without you in my life too long already. I need you back where you belong, dolcezza.”

  eight

  As he drove her home, Alexis was able to take in his car for the first time. To he
r bewildered surprise he drove a Lexus LFA. She had known that the man had money since he and his family had her father working for him. But the car he drove was a four hundred-thousand-dollar piece of beautiful machinery.

  The outside was metallic silver that gleamed in the Californian sunshine while the inside was a black on red dream. Red leather seats with black stitching, red and black steering wheel. Red trimmed on the black dash and panels. She had to admit that it was sexy, especially with the Italian man seated behind the wheel of the powerful car. Alexis found herself almost drooling over them both several times as he made the drive out to Malibu and promptly forced herself to look away.

  Several miles from her father’s beachside house he caught her staring and grinned. “You like my car?”

  She blushed. “It suits you.”

  “It’s a new addition to my garage, actually. My favorite. Can you guess why?” He reached for her hand and entwined their fingers.

  “It’s sexiness?” she murmured, not sure why she felt so shy around him now.

  He laughed out loud. The sight of his even, white smile and the way his molasses eyes seemed to lighten ever so slightly when he was amused made her heart skip a beat. “No, baby. Not even close. Trust me when I tell you that this isn’t the sexiest car sitting at home right now. I got it to have something of you close to me. This is my Lexus so that I will have a piece of my Lexis close at hand.”

  Her teeth sunk into her bottom lip and she glanced away, unable to meet his gaze. He was so confusing! These feelings that he kept making her feel, she didn’t think she could handle them right then. When he pulled up outside of her father’s house she hastily reached for the handle.

  “Lexis, wait for me.” He was out of the car and around to assist her out in seconds. Without meeting his eyes, she quietly thanked him for the ride home and turned to maneuver the few steps up to the front door. “Can I call you later?” he called after her.

  Her heart shuttered in her chest and she glanced at him over her shoulder. “Jared…” When she continued to hesitate he started up the walkway toward her. “Let me have a few days.” She finally told him.

  His smile lit up his devastatingly handsome face. “Okay. A few days then.” He stopped mere inches from her and dropped a soft kiss across her lips. “I’ll ache every minute I’m away from you, but I’ll give you the time you need.”

  When she continued to stand there, dazed and more than a little hot and bothered he dropped a butterfly soft kiss on her forehead and turned to go. “Jared?” she called after him just before he could reach his car.

  He turned, a dark brow raised in a way that she instantly loved. “Yes, love?”

  “Don’t tell my dad that we … dated last year. Okay?”

  His eyes darkened. “If that’s what you want.”

  She nodded. “It is. And it will make things easier on both of us.” Maybe her father wouldn’t kill him then…

  ***

  Later that evening Alexis lay in bed just glaring up at the ceiling.

  Her stepmother had been very inquisitive when she had gotten home. Melissa had hinted more than once that she thought Jared made a really good match for her. She wasn’t so sure that the other woman would still agree if she knew that it had been Jared Giordano who she had been in a relationship with all those months ago.

  Ever since Jared had mentioned Gabriella’s name, Alexis had had a strong yearning to call her cousin. She had avoided it because she knew that news of her accident would only distress Gabriella when she didn’t need the extra stress. With her career starting off with such success and now that she was touring, Gabriella hardly had time to breathe.

  But, Alexis thought to herself as she reached for her phone, she didn’t have to tell her cousin about the accident. All she really wanted was to hear her best friend’s voice. To find out if she was having a good time doing what she loved. It absolutely had nothing to do with wanting information on Jared Giordano. No, nothing.

  There were a few rings and then a feminine squeal. “Lee-Lee!” Gabriella exclaimed forcing Alexis to pull the phone away from her ear for a moment. Nine months older than Alexis, the two had always been close. They had never experienced any sibling type rivalry, even though they had grown up in the same house. Instead Alexis had always supported Gabriella and her ambitious music career. Just as Gabriella supported Alexis in everything life threw her way—something that Alexis had needed around their grandfather.

  A trembling smile crossed Alexis’s lips. “Gabs! How are you?”

  “I’m great. Having a wonderful time over here in Sydney with the band. But I miss you! It felt like you had fallen off the face of the planet.”

  “No, I’ve just been busy,” she quickly excused. You know, having my spine put back together, my insides moved around, and the torture of learning to walk again.

  “Oh, honey I understand. With all that shit going on with Jared, that douchebag, late last year I would have gone into hiding too.” There was pure malice in Gabriella’s voice.

  Her tone and the words that she used made everything in Alexis stiffening. She sat up, wincing as she moved too fast and started a symphony of pain throughout her battered body. Tears leaked from the corner of her eyes, but she wasn’t sure it was from the pain she had just caused herself … or because of the pain that had suddenly invaded her heart. “I thought you two were friends,” she murmured.

  “After what he did? No one does that to my Lee-Lee and remains my friend.” There was noise in the background and Gabriella’s voice drifted away from the phone for a moment as she yelled. “Shut it! I’m talking to my cousin.”

  Her voice came back clearly over the receiver. “How are you now that he’s out of your life? I feel bad that I introduced you guys. And that I wasn’t there when the shit hit the fan. But hey, I heard he didn’t marry the bitch after all. His brother did.”

  Nausea rolled threw her as she remembered her father mentioning his brother’s recent marriage and that Jared had been engaged to the woman first. “I … Gabs…” She swallowed the bile raising in her the back of her throat with difficulty. “I saw him today,” she finally mumbled.

  “What!” Gabriella exclaimed. “Where?”

  “My dad is handling some business for him,” she managed to tell her. “I’m staying in California for a while and…” She broke off, not sure how to explain. “Anyway, I don’t think I will be seeing him again anytime soon.”

  “Good! Don’t let him play you again, Lee-Lee.” There were more loud male voices in the background followed by Gabriella’s muffled shouts. “Honey I have to go. These dumbasses are starting to piss me off. But I have less than a week left on my tour and then I’ll be back in the states. Instead of going straight home, how about I stop in California and we can catch up?”

  “Yes,” Alexis said with a sigh. “I have a lot to tell you, Gabs. See you in a few days?” Maybe Gabriella was the one with all the answers that she needed. She trusted her cousin more than any other person in the world. Obviously she couldn’t trust Jared at all.

  “Absolutely! Love you, Lee-Lee.” Just before she disconnected Alexis heard Gabriella yelling at someone. “Alright, you stupid fucker…”

  Alexis laughed despite the turmoil she was feeling. Gabriella was royally pissed. She had always been the hot head of them. How she had ever found the self-control to be so devoted to music was beyond thinking about.

  nine

  Alexis spent the next day feeling like a zombie as she went through physical therapy. When it was over, and her body felt like one big pulsating pain, she was glad to see her brother waiting on her outside of the double doors for her.

  With his charming grin that always seemed to lighten her heart, she let him take her mind off of everything else that seemed to be going wrong in her life. Vince took her for ice cream and then home to watch the armful of movies he had just bought just for her. She was a geek when it came to old Gene Kelly and Fred Astaire movies. They spent the rest of the day a
nd most of Saturday watching everything from Singing in the Rain to Daddy Long Legs.

  The rest of the weekend she made time to catch up with her father. He wanted to know what was going on with her therapy and Dr. Reid. Alexis suspected that he might blame himself for what was going on with her in the months leading up to the accident, all her cutting and other issues. Their relationship had always been as close as they could manage seeing as she had lived most of her life on the East Coast with her mother and grandfather.

  There was a reason why she was Alexis Moreitti and not Alexis Shepard. Max and her mother, Carina, had met when Max made one of his first big mergers for Carina’s father, Luciano Moreitti. A hot affair had ensued, and then just as quickly as it had started, had ended. When Carina had fallen pregnant with Alexis she had pointedly refused any offer of marriage from Max. She was a career woman, moving her way up the ranks in her father’s company.

  Carina had her daughter, and after three months off, hired a nanny. Alexis spent the next sixteen years being shuffled back and forth from one coast to the other, from her mother to her father. But when she was on the East Coast, even though she had Gabriella to buffer her, she was faced with her grandfather’s distaste over the circumstances of her birth. The media might play it up as nothing these days, but to her grandfather who was old world Italian, he was not at all impressed with having an illegitimate granddaughter.

  Dr. Reid wanted to know why she’d felt that she had to do everything perfect in her life. Luciano Moreitti had brainwashed it into her from an early age. Alexis would never say that her Nonno was a bad man; he just wasn’t a very affectionate person by nature. And where she was concerned, she always had had to try harder to impress him. If she got in trouble she felt like a failure in his eyes. Gabriella had always been her champion in respect to their grandfather. Making sure that he knew exactly what she thought of his coolness toward Alexis over something that hadn’t been her fault.