The O'Ruddy: A Romance

  CHAPTER II

  The night was growing, and as I was to fight at daybreak I needed agood rest; but I could not forget that in my pride I had told LordStrepp that I was provided with a friend to attend me at the duel. Itwas on my mind. I must achieve a friend, or Colonel Royale might quiteproperly refuse to fight me on the usual grounds that if he killed methere would be present no adherent of my cause to declare that thefight was fair. And any how I had lied so thoroughly to Lord Strepp. Imust have a friend.

  But how was I to carve a friend out of this black Bristol at suchshort notice? My sense told me that friends could not be found in theroad like pebbles, but some curious feeling kept me abroad, scanningby the light of the lanterns or the torches each face that passed me.A low dull roar came from the direction of the quay, and this was thenoise of the sailor-men, being drunk. I knew that there would be nonefound there to suit my purpose, but my spirit led me to wander so thatI could not have told why I went this way or that way.

  Of a sudden I heard from a grassy bank beside me the sound of low andstrenuous sobbing. I stopped dead short to listen, moved byinstinctive recognition. Aye, I was right. It was Irish keening. Someson of Erin was spelling out his sorrow to the darkness with thatprofound and garrulous eloquence which is in the character of mypeople.

  "Wirra, wirra! Sorrow the day I would be leaving Ireland against myown will and intention, and may the rocks go out to meet the luggerthat brought me here! It's beginning to rain, too! Sure it never rainslike this in Ireland! And me without a brass penny to buy a bed! Ifthe Saints save me from England, 'tis al--"

  "Come out of that, now!" said I.

  The monologue ceased; there was a quick silence. Then the voice, muchaltered, said: "Who calls? 'Tis may be an Irish voice!"

  "It is," said I. "I've swallowed as much peat smoke as any man of myyears. Come out of that now, and let me have a look at you."

  He came trustfully enough, knowing me to be Irish, and I examined himas well as I was able in the darkness. He was what I expected, abedraggled vagabond with tear-stains on his dirty cheeks and a vastshock of hair which I well knew would look, in daylight, like aburning haycock. And as I examined him he just as carefully examinedme. I could see his shrewd blue eyes twinkling.

  "You are a red man," said I. "I know the strain; 'tis better thansome. Your family must have been very inhospitable people." And then,thinking that I had spent enough time, I was about to give the fellowsome coin and send him away. But here a mad project came into my emptyhead. I had ever been the victim of my powerful impulses, which surgeup within me and sway me until I can only gasp at my own conduct. Thesight of this red-headed scoundrel had thrust an idea into my head,and I was a lost man.

  "Mark you!" said I to him. "You know what I am?"

  "'Tis hard to see in the dark," he answered; "but I mistrust you are agentleman, sir. McDermott of the Three Trees had a voice and a waywith him like you, and Father Burk too, and he was a gentleman born ifhe could only remain sober."

  "Well, you've hit it, in the dark or whatever," said I. "I am agentleman. Indeed I am an O'Ruddy. Have you ever been hearing of myfamily?"

  "Not of your honour's branch of it, sure," he made answer confidently."But I have often been hearing of the O'Ruddys of Glandore, who arewell known to be such great robbers and blackguards that their matchis not to be found in all the south of Ireland. Nor in the west,neither, for that matter."

  "Aye," said I, "I have heard that that branch of the family was muchadmired by the peasantry for their qualities. But let us have donewith it and speak of other matters. I want a service of you."

  "Yes, your honour," said he, dropping his voice. "May be 'twill not bethe first time I've been behind a ditch; but the light to-night isvery bad unless I am knowing him well, and I would never be forgettinghow Tim Malone let fly in the dark of a night like this, thinking itwas a bailiff, until she screamed out with the pain in her leg, thepoor creature, and her beyond seventy and a good Catholic."

  "Come out of it now!" said I impatiently. "You will be behind noditch." And as we walked back to the inn I explained to my new man thepart I wished him to play. He was amazed at it, and I had to explainfifty times; but when it once was established in his red head Paddywas wild with enthusiasm, and I had to forbid him telling me how wellhe would do it.

  I had them give him some straw in the stable, and then retired to mychamber for needed rest. Before dawn I had them send Paddy to me, andby the light of a new fire I looked at him. Ye Saints! What hair! Itmust have been more than a foot in length, and the flaming strandsradiated in all directions from an isolated and central spire whichshot out straight toward the sky. I knew what to do with his tatters,but that crimson thatch dumfounded me. However there was no going backnow, so I set to work upon him. Luckily my wardrobe represented threegenerations of O'Ruddy clothes, and there was a great plenty. I put myimpostor in a suit of blue velvet with a flowered waistcoat andstockings of pink. I gave him a cocked hat and a fine cloak. I workedwith success up to the sword-belt, and there I was checked. I had twoswords, but only one belt. However, I slung the sword which King Louishad given my father on a long string from Paddy's neck and sternly bidhim keep his cloak tight about him. We were ready.

  "Now, Paddy," said I, "do you bow in this manner." I bowed as agentleman should. But I will not say how I strove with him. I could dolittle in that brief space. If he remained motionless and kept histongue still he was somewhat near his part, but the moment he moved hewas astonishing. I depended on keeping him under my eye, and I toldhim to watch me like a cat. "Don't go thinking how grand you are, thatway," I cried to him angrily. "If you make a blunder of it, thegentlemen will cudgel you, mark you that. Do you as I direct you. Andthe string, curse you. Mind your cloak!" The villain had bethought himof his flowered waistcoat, and with a comic air flung back his coat todisplay it. "Take your fingers out of your mouth. Stop scratching yourshin with your foot. Leave your hair alone. 'Tis as good and as bad asyou can make it. Come along now, and hold your tongue like a gravenimage if you would not be having me stop the duel to lather you."

  We marched in good order out of the inn. We saw our two gentlemenawaiting us, wrapped in their cloaks, for the dawn was cold. Theybowed politely, and as I returned their salute I said in a low, quickaside to Paddy:

  "Now, for the love of God, bow for your life!"

  My intense manner must have frightened the poor thing, for he duckedas swiftly as if he had been at a fair in Ireland and somebody hadhove a cobble at his head.

  "Come up!" I whispered, choking with rage. "Come up! You'll bebreaking your nose on the road."

  He straightened himself, looking somewhat bewildered, and said:

  "What was it? Was I too slow? Did I do it well?"

  "Oh, fine," said I. "Fine. You do it as well as that once more, andyou will probably break your own neck, and 'tis not me will be buyingmasses for your soul, you thief. Now don't drop as if a gamekeeper hadshot at you. There is no hurry in life. Be quiet and easy."

  "I mistrusted I was going too fast," said he; "but for the life of meI couldn't pull up. If I had been the Dublin mail, and the road thickas fleas with highwaymen, I should have gone through them grand."

  My Lord Strepp and Colonel Royale had not betrayed the slightestsurprise at the appearance of my extraordinary companion. Theirsmooth, regular faces remained absolutely imperturbable. This I tookto be very considerate of them, but I gave them just a little morethan their due, as I afterward perceived when I came to understand theEnglish character somewhat. The great reason was that Paddy and I wereforeigners. It is not to be thought that gentlemen of their positionwould have walked out for a duel with an Englishman in the party of sofantastic an appearance. They would have placed him at once as aperson impossible and altogether out of their class. They would havetold a lackey to kick this preposterous creation into the horse-pond.But since Paddy was a foreigner he was possessed of some curiouslicense, and his grotesque ways could be explained fully in the simplephrase
, "'Tis a foreigner."

  So, then, we preceded my Lord Strepp and Colonel Royale through anumber of narrow streets and out into some clear country. I chose afine open bit of green turf as a goodly place for us to meet, and Iwarped Paddy through the gate and moved to the middle of the field. Idrew my sword and saluted, and then turned away. I had told Paddyeverything which a heaven-sent sense of instruction could suggest, andif he failed I could do no more than kill him.

  After I had kicked him sharply he went aside with Lord Strepp, andthey indulged in what sounded like a very animated discussion.Finally I was surprised to see Lord Strepp approaching me. He said:

  "It is very irregular, but I seem unable to understand your friend. Hehas proposed to me that the man whose head is broken first--I do notperfectly understand what he could mean by that; it does not enter ouranticipations that a man could possibly have his head broken--he hasproposed that the man whose head may be broken first should provide'lashings'--I feel sure that is the word--lashings of meat and drinkat some good inn for the others. Lashings is a word which I do notknow. We do not know how to understand you gentlemen when you speak oflashings. I am instructed to meet any terms which you may suggest, butI find that I cannot make myself clear to your friend who speaks ofnothing but lashings."

  "Sir," said I, as I threw coat and waistcoat on the grass, "my friendrefers to a custom of his own country. You will, I feel sure, pardonhis misconception of the circumstances. Pray accept my regrets, and,if you please, I am ready."

  He immediately signified that his mind was now clear, and that theincident of Paddy's lashings he regarded as closed. As for thatflame-headed imp of crime, if I could have got my hands upon him hewould have taken a short road to his fathers. Him and his lashings! AsI stood there with a black glare at him, the impudent scoundrelrepeatedly winked at me with the readable information that if I onlywould be patient and bide a moment he would compass something veryclever. As I faced Colonel Royale I was so wild with thinking of whatI would do to Paddy, that, for all I knew, I might have been crossingswords with my mother.

  And now as to this duel. I will not conceal that I was a very finefencer in both the French and Italian manners. My father was in hisday one of the finest blades in Paris, and had fought with some of themost skillful and impertinent gentlemen in all France. He had done hisbest to give me his eye and his wrist, and sometimes he would say thatI was qualified to meet all but the best in the world. He commonlymade fun of the gentlemen of England, saying that a dragoon was theirideal of a man with a sword; and he would add that the rapier was aweapon which did not lend itself readily to the wood-chopper's art. Hewas all for the French and Italian schools.

  I had always thought that my father's judgment was very good, but Icould not help reflecting that if it turned out to be bad I would havea grievance as well as a sword-thrust in the body. Colonel Royale cameat me in a somewhat leisurely manner, and, as I said, my mind was sofull of rage at Paddy that I met the first of my opponent's thruststhrough sheer force of habit. But my head was clear a moment later,and I knew that I was fighting my first duel in England and for myfather's honour. It was no time to think of Paddy.

  Another moment later I knew that I was the Colonel's master. I couldreach him where I chose. But he did not know it. He went on proddingaway with a serious countenance, evidently under the impression thathe had me hard put to it. He was as grave as an owl-faced parson. Andnow here I did a sorry thing. I became the victim of another of my madimpulses. I was seized with an ungovernable desire to laugh. It washideous. But laugh I did, and, of necessity, square in the Colonel'sface. And to this day I regret it.

  Then the real duel began. At my laugh the Colonel instantly lost hisgrave air, and his countenance flushed with high, angry surprise. Hebeset me in a perfect fury, caring no more for his guard than if hehad been made of iron. Never have I seen such quick and tremendouschange in a man. I had laughed at him under peculiar conditions: verywell, then; he was a demon. Thrice my point pricked him to keep himoff, and thrice my heart was in my mouth that he would come onregardless. The blood oozed out on his white ruffled shirt; he waspanting heavily, and his eyes rolled. He was a terrible sight to face.At last I again touched him, and this time sharply and in the swordarm, and upon the instant my Lord Strepp knocked our blades apart.

  "Enough," he cried sternly. "Back, Colonel! Back!"

  The Colonel flung himself sobbing into his friend's arms, choking out,"O God, Strepp! I couldn't reach him. I couldn't reach him, Strepp!Oh, my God!"

  At the same time I disappeared, so to speak, in the embrace of myred-headed villain, who let out an Irish howl of victory that shouldhave been heard at Glandore. "Be quiet, rascal," I cried, flinging himoff. But he went on with his howling until I was obliged forcibly tolead him to a corner of the field, where he exclaimed:

  "Oh, your honour, when I seen the other gentleman, all blazing withrage, rush at you that way, and me with not so much as a tuppence forall my service to you excepting these fine clothes and the sword,although I am thinking I shall have little to do with swords if thisis the way they do it, I said, 'Sorrow the day England saw me!'"

  If I had a fool for a second, Colonel Royale had a fine, wise youngman. Lord Strepp was dealing firmly and coolly with his maddenedprincipal.

  "I can fight with my left hand," the Colonel was screaming. "I tellyou, Strepp, I am resolved! Don't bar my way! I will kill him! I willkill him!"

  "You are not in condition to fight," said the undisturbed young man."You are wounded in four places already. You are in my hands. You willfight no more to-day."

  "But, Strepp!" wailed the Colonel. "Oh, my God, Strepp!"

  "You fight no more to-day," said the young lord.

  Then happened unexpected interruptions. Paddy told me afterward thatduring the duel a maid had looked over a wall and yelled, and droppeda great brown bowl at sight of our occupation. She must have been theinstrument that aroused the entire county, for suddenly men camerunning from everywhere. And the little boys! There must have beenlittle boys from all over England.

  "What is it? What is it?"

  "Two gentlemen have been fighting!"

  "Oh, aye, look at him with the blood on him!"

  "Well, and there is young my Lord Strepp. He'd be deep in the matter,I warrant you!"

  "Look yon, Bill! Mark the gentleman with the red hair. He's not fromthese parts, truly. Where, think you, he comes from?"

  "'Tis a great marvel to see such hair, and I doubt not he comes fromAfrica."

  They did not come very near, for in those days there was little thepeople feared but a gentleman, and small wonder. However, when thelittle boys judged that the delay in a resumption of the fight was tooprolonged, they did not hesitate to express certain unconventionalopinions and commands.

  "Hurry up, now!"

  "Go on!"

  "You're both afeared!"

  "Begin! Begin!"

  "Are the gentlemen in earnest?"

  "Sirs, do you mean ever to fight again? Begin, begin."

  But their enthusiasm waxed high after they had thoroughly comprehendedPaddy and his hair.

  "You're alight, sir; you're alight!"

  "Water! Water!"

  "Farmer Pelton will have the officers at you an you go near his hay.Water!"

  Paddy understood that they were paying tribute to his importance, andhe again went suddenly out of my control. He began to strut and caperand pose with the air of knowing that he was the finest gentleman inEngland.

  "Paddy, you baboon," said I, "be quiet and don't be making yourself alaughing-stock for the whole of them."

  But I could give small heed to him, for I was greatly occupied inwatching Lord Strepp and the Colonel. The Colonel was listening nowto his friend for the simple reason that the loss of blood had madehim too weak to fight again. Of a sudden he slumped gently downthrough Lord Strepp's arms to the ground, and, as the young man knelt,he cast his eyes about him until they rested upon me in what I took tobe mute appeal. I ran fo
rward, and we quickly tore his fine ruffles topieces and succeeded in quite stanching his wounds, none of which wereserious. "'Tis only a little blood-letting," said my Lord Strepp withsomething of a smile. "'Twill cool him, perchance."

  "None of them are deep," I cried hastily. "I--"

  But Lord Strepp stopped me with a swift gesture. "Yes," he said, "Iknew. I could see. But--" He looked at me with troubled eyes. "It isan extraordinary situation. You have spared him, and--he will not wishto be spared, I feel sure. Most remarkable case."

  "Well, I won't kill him," said I bluntly, having tired of thisrubbish. "Damme if I will!"

  Lord Strepp laughed outright. "It is ridiculous," he said. "Do youreturn, O'Ruddy, and leave me the care of this business. And," addedhe, with embarrassed manner, "this mixture is full strange; but--Ifeel sure--any how, I salute you, sir." And in his bow he paid asensible tribute to my conduct.

  Afterward there was nought to do but gather in Paddy and return to theinn. I found my countryman swaggering to and fro before the crowd.Some ignoramus, or some wit, had dubbed him the King of Ireland, andhe was playing to the part.

  "Paddy, you red-headed scandal," said I, "come along now!"

  When he heard me, he came well enough; but I could not help but feelfrom his manner that he had made a great concession.

  "And so they would be taking me for the King of Ireland, and, sure,'tis an advantage to be thought a king whatever, and if your honourwould be easy 'tis you and me that would sleep in the finest beds inBristol the night, and nothing to do but take the drink as it washanded and--I'll say no more."

  A rabble followed us on our way to the inn, but I turned on them sofiercely from time to time that ultimately they ran off. We madedirect for my chamber, where I ordered food and drink immediately tobe served. Once alone there with Paddy I allowed my joy to take holdon me. "Eh, Paddy, my boy," said I, walking before him, "I have donegrand. I am, indeed, one of the finest gentlemen in the world."

  "Aye, that's true," he answered, "but there was a man at your backthroughout who--"

  To his extreme astonishment I buffeted him heavily upon the cheek."And we'll have no more of that talk," said I.