The O'Ruddy: A Romance

  CHAPTER VII

  When I reached my own chamber I sank heavily into a chair. My brainwas in a tumult. I had fallen in love and arranged to be killed in oneshort day's work. I stared at my image in a mirror. Could I be TheO'Ruddy? Perhaps my name was Paddy or Jem Bottles? Could I pick myselfout in a crowd? Could I establish my identification? I little knew.

  At first I thought of my calm friend who apparently drank blood forhis breakfast. Colonel Royale to me was somewhat of a stranger, buthis charming willingness to grind the bones of his friends in histeeth was now quite clear. I fight the best swordsman in England as anamusement, a show? I began to see reasons for returning to Ireland. Itwas doubtful if old Mickey Clancy would be able to take full care ofmy estate even with the assistance and prevention of Father Donovan.All properties looked better while the real owner had his eye on them.It would be a shame to waste the place at Glandore all for a bit ofpride of staying in England. Never a man neglected his patrimony butthat it didn't melt down to a kick in the breeches and much trouble inthe courts. I perceived, in short, that my Irish lands were in danger.What could endanger them was not quite clear to my eye, but at anyrate they must be saved. Moreover it was necessary to take quickmeasures. I started up from my chair, hastily recounting Jem Bottles'sfive guineas.

  But I bethought me of Lady Mary. She could hardly be my good fairy.She was rather too plump to be a fairy. She was not extremely plump,but when she walked something moved within her skirts. For my part Ithink little of fairies, who remind me of roasted fowl's wing. Give methe less brittle beauty which is not likely to break in a man's arms.

  After all, I reflected, Mickey Clancy could take care quite well ofthat estate at Glandore; and, if he didn't, Father Donovan would soonbring him to trouble; and, if Father Donovan couldn't, why, the placewas worth very little any how. Besides, 'tis a very weak man whocannot throw an estate into the air for a pair of bright eyes.

  Aye, and Lady Mary's bright eyes! That was one matter. And there wasForister's bright sword. That was another matter. But to mydescendants I declare that my hesitation did not endure an instant.Forister might have an arm so supple and a sword so long that he mightbe able to touch the nape of his neck with his own point, but I wasfirm on English soil. I would meet him even if he were a _chevaux defrise_. Little it mattered to me. He might swing the ten arms of anIndian god; he might yell like a gale at sea; he might be moreterrible in appearance than a volcano in its passions; still I wouldmeet him.

  There was a knock, and at my bidding a servant approached and said: "Agentleman, Mr. Forister, wishes to see you, sir."

  For a moment I was privately in a panic. Should I say that I was ill,and then send for a doctor to prove that I was not ill? Should I runstraightway and hide under the bed? No!

  "Bid the gentleman enter," said I to the servant.

  Forister came in smiling, cool and deadly. "Good day to you, Mr.O'Ruddy," he said, showing me his little teeth. "I am glad to see thatyou are not for the moment consorting with highwaymen and otherabandoned characters who might succeed in corrupting your morals, Mr.O'Ruddy. I have decided to kill you, Mr. O'Ruddy. You may have heardthat I am the finest swordsman in England, Mr. O'Ruddy?"

  I replied calmly: "I have heard that you are the finest swordsman inEngland, Mr. Forister, whenever better swordsmen have been travelingin foreign parts, Mr. Forister, and when no visitors of fencingdistinction have taken occasion to journey here, Mr. Forister."

  This talk did not give him pleasure, evidently. He had entered withbrave composure, but now he bit his lip and shot me a glance ofhatred. "I only wished to announce," he said savagely, "that I wouldprefer to kill you in the morning as early as possible."

  "And how may I render my small assistance to you, Mr. Forister? Haveyou come to request me to arise at an untimely hour?"

  I was very placid; but it was not for him to be coming to my chamberwith talk of killing me. Still, I thought that, inasmuch as he wasthere, I might do some good to myself by irritating him slightly. Icontinued:

  "I to-day informed my friends--"

  "Your friends!" said he.

  "My friends," said I. "Colonel Royale in this matter."

  "Colonel Royale!" said he.

  "Colonel Royale," said I. "And if you are bound to talk more you hadbest thrust your head from the window and talk to those chimneysthere, which will take far more interest in your speech than I canwork up. I was telling you that to-day I informed my friends--then youinterrupted me. Well, I informed them--but what the devil I informedthem of you will not know very soon. I can promise you, however, itwas not a thing you would care to hear with your hands tied behindyou."

  "Here's a cold man with a belly full of ice," said he musingly. "Ihave wronged him. He has a tongue on him, he has that. And here I havebeen judging from his appearance that he was a mere common dolt. And,what, Mr. O'Ruddy," he added, "were you pleased to say to thegentlemen which I would not care to hear with my hands tied behindme?"

  "I told them why you took that sudden trip to Bristol," I answeredsoftly.

  He fairly leaped in a sudden wild rage. "You--told them?" hestuttered. "You poltroon! 'Twas a coward's work!"

  "Be easy," said I, to soothe him. "'Tis no more cowardly than it isfor the best swordsman in England to be fighting the worst swordsmanin Ireland over a matter in which he is entirely in the wrong,although 'tis not me that cares one way or another way. Indeed, Iprefer you to be in the wrong, you little black pig."

  "Stop," said he, with a face as white as milk. "You told them--youtold them about--about the girl at Bristol?"

  "What girl at Bristol?" said I innocently. "'Tis not me to be knowingyour wenches in Bristol or otherwheres."

  A red flush came into the side of his neck and swelled slowly acrosshis cheeks. "If you've told them about Nell!"

  "Nell?" said I. "Nell? Yes, that's the name. Nell. Yes, Nell. And if Itold them about Nell?"

  "Then," he rejoined solemnly, "I shall kill you ten times if I lose mysoul in everlasting hell for it."

  "But after I have killed you eleven times I shall go to Bristol andhave some sweet interviews with fair Nell," said I. This sting Iexpected to call forth a terrific outburst, but he remained scowlingin dark thought. Then I saw where I had been wrong. This Nell was nowmore a shame than a sweetheart, and he was afraid that word had beenpassed by me to the brother of--Here was a chance to disturb him."When I was making my little joke of you and your flame at Bristol,"said I thoughtfully, "I believe there were no ladies present. I don'tremember quite. Any how we will let that pass. 'Tis of noconsequence."

  And here I got him in full cry. "_God rot you!_" he shrieked. Hissword sprang and whistled in the air.

  "Hold," said I, as a man of peace. "'Twould be murder. My weapon is onthe bed, and I am too lazy to go and fetch it. And in the mean timelet me assure you that no word has crossed my lips in regard to Nell,your Bristol sweetheart, for the very excellent reason that I neverknew of her existence until you yourself told me some moments ago."

  Never before had he met a man like me. I thought his under-jaw woulddrop on the floor.

  "Up to a short time ago," said I candidly, "your indecent amours weresafe from my knowledge. I can be in the way of putting myself assilent as a turtle when it comes to protecting a man from his follywith a woman. In fact, I am a gentleman. But," I added sternly, "whatof the child?"

  "The child?" he cried jumping. "May hell swallow you! And what may youknow of the child?"

  I waved my hand in gentle deprecation of his excitement as I said:

  "Peace, Forister; I know nothing of any child. It was only anobservation by a man of natural wit who desired to entertain himself.And, pray, how old is the infant?"

  He breathed heavily. "You are a fiend," he answered. Keeping his eyeson the floor, he deliberated upon his choice of conduct. Presently hesheathed his sword and turned with some of his old jauntiness towardthe door. "Very good," said he. "To-morrow we shall know more of ourown affairs."

  "
True," I replied.

  "We shall learn if slyness and treachery are to be defeated byfair-going and honour."

  "True," said I.

  "We shall learn if a snake in the grass can with freedom bite the footof a lion."

  "True," said I.

  There was a loud jovial clamour at the door, and at my cry it flewopen. Colonel Royale entered precipitately, beaming with good humour.

  "O'Ruddy, you rascal," he shouted, "I commanded you to take much rest,and here I find--" He halted abruptly as he perceived my othervisitor. "And here I find," he repeated coldly, "here I find Mr.Forister."

  Forister saluted with finished politeness. "My friend and I," he said,"were discussing the probabilities of my killing him in the morning.He seems to think that he has some small chance for his life, but Ihave assured him that any real betting man would not wager a grain ofsand that he would see the sun go down to-morrow."

  "Even so," rejoined the Colonel imperturbably.

  "And I also suggested to my friend," pursued Forister, "that to-morrowI would sacrifice my ruffles for him, although I always abominatehaving a man's life-blood about my wrists."

  "Even so," quoth the undisturbed Colonel.

  "And further I suggested to my friend that if he came to the groundwith a coffin on his back, it might promote expedition after theaffair was over."

  Colonel Royale turned away with a gesture of disgust.

  I thought it was high time to play an ace at Forister and stop hisbabble, so I said:

  "And when Mr. Forister had finished his graceful remarks we had sometalk regarding Mr. Forister's affairs in Bristol, and I confess I wasmuch interested in hearing about the little--"

  Here I stopped abruptly, as if I had been interrupted by Forister;but he had given me no sign but a sickly grin.

  "Eh, Forister?" said I. "What's that?"

  "I was remarking that I had nothing further to say for the present,"he replied, with superb insolence. "For the time I am quite willing tobe silent. I bid you a good day, sirs."