Tradition Be Damned

  “What’s happening?” Bryant spoke first.

  “They’re not going to be able to see him.” I got out of bed, letting the sheet fall. I had to find something to wear other than a robe, but for now it was all I had. “You couldn’t see him, Garrett, before we co-joined.”

  Saying that word felt so strange on my tongue.

  Milo looked between us. “See what?”

  “The demon in the corner,” Garrett answered before he pulled me against him. “Don’t be afraid. You’re not alone with him.”

  “Ah, but you are.” Frank sat down on a chair across the room from me. “They can’t do anything about me, and neither, it would seem, can you. Where are those powers of yours? All the ones Garrett keeps telling you are stronger, but you know have weakened to the point you’re practically useless. Who cares about saving the possessed if you can’t fight a demon?”

  Garrett growled. “Don’t talk to her, you foul creature.”

  “Is this what they sound like to you all the time?” Mason moved until he stepped in front of me.

  Bryant raised his hand. “Am I to understand that the two of you and sweet Anne can see something in this room, communicate with it, and I can’t?”

  “That seems to be the case.” I shrugged. “He’s the original demon I sent away from the train. When Cooperman started hurting me, he came back, like a special reward for all the pain I was in. But at least he was someone speaking to me. He’s always watching me, commenting. My powers don’t turn on, so it’s like he’s not there but he is. If he were actually here in the room with me, you could see him.”

  Bryant let out a loud breath. “I need to co-join with you. I know these things can’t be rushed. I get it. You’ll co-join with me when you are ready, when we’re ready, but my love, there can’t be things happening I can’t see.”

  I could feel his frustration run through me. “I don’t seem to know when I’m going to co-join and when I’m not.”

  “Or maybe you don’t love him.” Frank shrugged. “Maybe you don’t.”

  “That’s not true,” I shot back. Arguably I had loved Bryant first. My number One, always greeting me by the carriage with heat in his eyes, had woken me from whatever permanent slumber I’d been in.

  Mason put his hand on my back. “It’s okay. We’re going to ignore him for now.”

  “Seems pretty obvious.” Milo touched his chin. “You’re possessed.”

  “What?” I turned to look at Milo even as his words suddenly made sense. “Sisters can’t be possessed.”

  Garrett cleared his throat. “Remember the lying?”

  I could be possessed? I sat down right where I stood, straight down onto the ground, and pushed my knees up to my nose. I had to breathe. I had to think. I was possessed?

  Kieran knelt next to me. “Easy now. It’s an answer. You sent the original demon off. Where did he go?”

  “I don’t know. I never saw. I fell backwards. There was a cyclone and then the possessed. And then Cooperman.” I shuddered at the thought.

  Next to me, Kieran shifted until he could kiss my neck. “You’re safe.”

  “I’m not safe if I’m possessed. And I’m so cold. I’m never going to be warm.”

  Frank laughed, and Garrett blocked my view so I couldn’t see the demon anymore. “I thought your dark time was done when we got you out of that cage. It’s not. You must see how powerful you are. You’re still removing demons from the possessed and co-joining while you are possessed by an original demon. I’ve never heard of such a thing or read about it.”

  “Guess you must be special, Annie.” Frank used Garrett’s nickname for me, and I wanted to throw something.

  Milo walked over to us. “We’re going to need some help. Even if she co-joins with all five of us—and my guess is that whomever you’re speaking to is being so difficult right now because she now has two of us—we can’t get the demon out of her.”

  “I’m not bringing her back to the Sisterhood.” Bryant paced right in front of Frank, although he had no idea he did so. “They’ll destroy her. I won’t let them have her. They refuse to deal with the possessed. They’ll leave her in the hole.”

  Mason snarled. “Over my dead body.”

  “That’s what it will be.” Frank laughed.

  Milo rocked back on his feet. “We need help. There’s no two ways about it. Not sure what to do.”

  I raised my eyes to his. My head pounded. “Sister Daniella.”

  Finding Sister Daniella wasn’t going to be the easiest thing in the world. She’d spent her life since the Sisterhood had kicked her out living privately with her five guards. I wasn’t sure how they made that work. How did they feed themselves? Earn money? What about the dreams they’d had before they were bound to her?

  Oh sure, it was all fated and the spirits had set them up. That didn’t make the truth of their human lives any different. Right now, Mason loved me. He still hadn’t turned his eyes back, and he reveled in the sensation. What happened when he remembered his mother and sisters? Oh sure, running off to live with me might seem great now, but he’d done this to take care of them. They all had a story.

  What was going to happen? And why wasn’t I getting any of the mushy-gushy feelings from the co-joining? Shouldn’t I be feeling great too?

  Frank raised his hand. “Not while I’m here.”

  Great.

  Kieran and I sat side by side on the bed and read quietly. I needed to catch up on what Garrett knew about me that I didn’t. I didn’t want to be told about myself from others anymore. I had to understand myself better than others did.

  I needed to sleep. It was the only way to be sure I could reach Daniella to ask her for help. Kieran studied maps and train schedules. If we couldn’t find her any other way, we’d try to determine where she could be that she was at that train depot that particular day.

  It was a long shot.

  Milo had run off to grab food and see if he could hear any news in the town about what they thought had happened to Cooperman and me. I had told him to get hair dye. I couldn’t be a redhead outside of these walls. Someone would stone me to death. He’d refused. Apparently, he liked my red hair as it was.

  Bryant worked out, training with his swords in the backyard. He put himself through paces over and over again. Garrett and Mason had conked out side by side on a bed in one of the other bedrooms.

  Was it weird they were so tired? Had I done something to them? I chewed my fingernail and went back to reading.

  Kieran shut his book with a clunk. “Not getting anywhere. Want to take a walk?”

  “A walk?”

  He nodded. “Sure. Nothing around here for as far as the eye can see. You could feel the sun.”

  “That would be fantastic, but I don’t have any clothes.” I wasn’t going to go on a stroll with my bathrobe on.

  “You do. We got some. Sorry no one thought to give them to you.” He touched my neck where it showed through the robe. “Or maybe we simply like seeing you half-dressed?”

  I took his hand, and we walked together across the house. It turned out the clothes were in the room where Garrett and Mason slept. Neither of them moved when we entered and quietly opened drawers.

  After a second, this greatly concerned me. “Kieran, this is what it was like on the train. You didn’t stir. None of you. There’s no way they haven’t heard us in here.”

  He narrowed his eyes and then nodded. In a second, he was by their side. Kieran placed a hand on Garrett, who didn’t move. “He’s breathing. So is Mason.”

  “Breathing isn’t good enough.” I put my head between my knees. Panic threatened to overtake me. “If you all conk out like this, I’m going to be left all alone. I know that’s selfish. I know it’s all about me, me, me all the time. I—”

  He pulled me into a hug. “You just got out of a cage forty-eight hours ago. The doctor thought you’d be sick for weeks and here you want to go for a walk. It’s
okay. It can be about you for as long as you need it to be. It’s such a relief to take care of you. I’m not tired. If they’re having something spiritual happen based on the co-joining, maybe they need the rest. Garrett is the one who would know, and he’s out cold for however long he is. If need be, Bryant and I will put them in the carriage we have and move them from here while they sleep. They’ll come back.”

  His words didn’t alleviate my worry. “You’re all going to sleep eventually. What do I do if you are trapped in those masks again? What do I do?”

  He touched my cheek. “I can’t make you promises. I failed you once. I want to swear I never will again, but we all seem, right now, to be at the whim of the spirits and I won’t make promises I can’t keep. If we all go under again, you’ll survive, Anne. You are so strong. You will survive. And we will come back.”

  “I don’t want to be alone without you guys anymore. I want to be with you. It makes me selfish. It screws up your futures. The five of you are what I want.”

  He smiled. “Words have power. I feel like you made a proclamation. You need to reach Daniella. You did that in your sleep. You need a nap.” He extended his hand. “They’re sleeping. Take one with them. I’ll go train with Bryant. He needs someone to work out against. Take a nap. We can’t co-join if I stay away, I don’t think. This way I don’t go into whatever sleep they’re in.”

  It was a good idea with a large flaw. “I’m not tired.”

  “You have to be. You’ve been hurt, abused, and sick. You have a demon inside of you. It’s amazing you are still okay at all. Please take a nap. You need not to sleep alone; it’s bad for your energy. I’m not going to lay down with you just in case.” He pointed to his eyes. “I want to protect you and not leave you alone.”

  He was so sweet. “Kieran, I’m living in utter terror. I don’t know how to do this. I was never afraid, not even of death. I walked out to the original demon, and I did my best. I wasn’t fearful.” Tears streamed down my face. “I can’t do this.”

  “Sweetness, that’s not you. That’s Frank.”

  I hoped he was right.

  Before he left the room, he turned to me. “I think you are so brave. You shame me with it. I missed you so much. When this part is over, when you’re really free, I’ll tell you about our year.”

  “Not now?”

  He shook his head. “Not yet.”

  I lay down between Garrett and Mason. Neither one of them moved; no one cuddled me. I was so used to their arms and legs all over my body. I could hear them breathe, and it did help soothe me.

  “Think I’m going to let you sleep?”

  I hated Frank. I hated him in a way I hadn’t known I could hate. I covered my ears and closed my eyes. I’d gotten good at forcing myself asleep.

  “I’ll tell you what,” he shouted. “I’ll let you sleep. I won’t let you see her. No Daniella for you. Not now. Not ever.”

  I didn’t believe him. This demon wasn’t going to dictate terms. Somehow I’d find my backbone again and kick him the hell out of my head.

  I had to think about things that made me sleepy. In the cage, it had been the guys in their new lives. That wasn’t going to work now. Instead, I pictured Garrett. He lay next to me, and I’d co-joined with him without actually having sex with him. It was all supposed to be about love, and I guessed it didn’t take the actual physical connection to make it happen.

  But I could imagine it. I shut down that line of thinking. Thinking of Garrett naked and inside of me was not going to make me tired. If anything, it was going to have the opposite effect needed. I rolled over and pressed my head into his side while I kept one hand on Mason. I couldn’t think about him naked either. I knew what that was like.

  I tried to just breathe.

  Eventually, I found myself back in my now devoid of fire circle. The spirits weren’t anywhere to be seen. If anything, the whole place seemed kind of dead. I closed my eyes and tried to reach for Daniella. Sometimes that helped. Nothing happened. I gave up the effort and walked over to where Mason had been during the ordeal. His mask was cracked in two. I bent over to pick it up. The others had simply been taken off and were strewn here, there, and everywhere. But Mason had broken his. How had he managed it?

  Not to mention Garrett who had somehow gotten himself awake significantly faster than the others … My guards never ceased to amaze me.

  I loved them.

  The woman crying in the distance caught my attention. I was asleep until I woke up, and I didn’t have anything else to do but try. I wasn’t alone. Eventually, Bryant, Kieran, or Milo would wake me. I could look and not be afraid of getting caught in here.

  I picked up my pace, running toward the sound. The landscape stayed the same—grey, dead—and no matter how far I went, I never reached her.

  “Okay,” I shouted out. “Do you want to meet me, or do you want to keep crying? Because we can do this one of two ways: you can let me find you so I can find out why you’re crying, or you can be on your own. That’s your choice. I am done trying and getting nowhere. We live in the end of days. There’s too much futility to add this to it.”

  The crying ceased. “Could you help me?”

  “Well, I won’t know until we try.” I threw my hands in the air. “Show yourself.”

  In front of me, bathed in the same white light I’d come to associate with Daniella, a woman appeared. She wasn’t much older than me. It was always hard to tell, but I’d put her somewhere around the age of thirty.

  She was beautiful in the way I always associated with other Sisters besides myself. Blonde, blue-eyed and slender. People would stop and stare at her.

  “I see you come here. I see the other one speaks to you. But you have … filth on you. In you. I didn’t know if I could trust you. I already have enough attacking me all the time.”

  I hated the thought of the word ‘filth,’ but okay, we’d go with it. What else could Frank really be called? She could see it on me? That would be a useful tool. Although, I supposed I could see the demons in other people. Just not myself.

  “I’m Anne. What is your name?”

  She sniffed and wiped her eyes. “I’m Teagan.”

  “We’re both Sisters. That much I know. We’re both … here … in this other place. Why are you always crying?”

  She wiped her eyes again. “This is the only place I cry. I cry and I hide. Out there … I never let them see they’ve hurt me. The demons that attack, that I have to throw out of my body, they never know I cry.”

  “You can throw your own demons out of your body?” That would be an incredibly useful thing to be able to do, considering my present circumstances.

  “I’ve had to learn. If we weren’t in this world, I’d take yours out of you too. He’s a mean one.”

  I took her hands. “I can come to you wherever you are. I can come, and you could help me. There has to be a way I could help you, too. Where are you? You must be with your guards, right? Or are you still at the Sisterhood?”

  I hated that last thought.

  “I fell in love with my guards. They with me. It all felt … fated, right. I’d heard of Sister Daniella. Rumors whispered in the halls. I know who you are, too. The niece.” All of these people knew me, and I knew no one. How many Sisters were running around that I had never met? If I had it to do over again, I’d pay more attention to the other Sisters. Back then, I’d just wanted to survive.

  She continued. “When my number One, Thaddeus, refused to step down and leave me, we had to appeal to your aunt. She threw us out. Well, she had me dragged away from them in the middle of the night. Aiden, number Two, he fought back. I’m sure he’s dead. I’ve been in hell ever since. Years and years. Daniella has ceased talking to me. I think even she knows this is too long. No one is coming.”

  My heart broke for her, shattered into a million pieces. “Don’t give up hope. I can come for you. Whatever happened with your guards, if you tell me where you are, I’ll
come. And not because you can help me, but because we’re Sisters, right?”

  She stared at me in silence for a few moments. “There are mines in the northernmost part of the Deadlands. I live here. I work with the other women on the outskirts of the mines, not underground but hauling the coal. Don’t say you’ll come and not come.”

  “I’ll come.”

  Fate kept sending me to those mines.

  I woke up feeling warm. Garrett rolled over, still asleep, but he flung his arm over me while Mason’s leg held me in place. They were moving. Did that mean they would soon be waking?

  Garrett moaned in my ear before his eyes opened. They were white, but I could see he was alert. The fog of sleep didn’t hang on him. A second later, Mason did the same thing.

  Pressed against me, I could feel that they were both hard. Mason pushed his head into my hair and kissed my scalp. “Give me a second. If Garrett is having the same reaction I am to what happened, then he’s also aching for you. It’s his turn.”

  Garrett kissed my nose. He didn’t otherwise comment. I looked between them. “What happened?”

  “Felt like a … remaking of sorts.” Mason kissed my hair again before he rolled off. “I’ve got to work off this excess energy. Have fun kids.” He winked. “You can’t know how hard it is to walk away.”

  Mason had no sooner exited the room than Garrett pulled me to him. He was frantic, his kisses hard, demanding. I was swept away in his frenzy. We tugged at each other’s clothes.

  “I was so afraid you weren’t coming back.”

  He shook his head, his mouth moving everywhere on me. “You are my whole life. You live inside of me now. If I can’t get to you, it’ll be because I’m dead.”

  Teagan’s five guards’ fate flew through my mind. “Don’t ever say that.”

  We were naked and practically clawing at each other. I scratched down his chest, feeling the thick hair that covered him. My mouth watered, and unable to think of anything I’d like more in the world, I took his nipple in my mouth and sucked.