Refraction of Beauty
I must get my purse ready. And I must also get an umbrella. Not to forget my signature, rectangular black spectacles. It’s exactly 4:56 p.m. now and I have a meeting scheduled at 5:10 p.m. at News Grove Garden, North London. A meeting, with my sister. It’s a freak of chance that we premeditated a get together in the first place, having awkwardly run into each other on the sidewalk. This is the first time in 4 months that I’m meeting one of my only existing relations in the world. Last time we met was at the funeral…last time she or any of my two remaining sisters ever met each other or me. All I can think of right now, is hurrying, as I will need to get back to my apartment before 7:00 p.m. since my entire building is almost deserted and the ‘guards’, a pair of disgusting sleazy drunkards come out at that time. So in order to avoid potential rape, I need to get there before they do. Arrangements for my shifting apartments have been incessantly unsuccessful. I have meant to move out but fate just hasn’t interwoven this scheme into my life yet. Anyway, who knows? Maybe after meeting Josephina, a setting for my new, even if temporary, abode might be made. Everything is so dreary. Crossing the road is such a nuisance as well. Of course the chivalrous drivers don’t cease an opportunity of un-aiding a helpless, guardian-less girl on the street; so just at the nick of my proceeding onwards, hit acceleration to keep me grounded on one side. Prowling my way, eventually, all I need to do is look for her in the park, as it’s right across the street. There she is. She’s sitting in that same way. Even time couldn’t erase that. Joe…
With the large tent as shelter, I lowered my umbrella and quickly patted my hair with my hand, as a way to secure a tame appearance. I had always had dead straight brown hair, so it was easier to keep them…well, dead straight. Approaching her with a weird nostalgic feeling, I am going to try my best to keep things formal.
‘Hi? Josephina?’ I began in order to signal attention.
‘Carolina…hello. You made it!’ She half saluted my arrival a little above her waistline and smacked it once she was done.
‘How could I not? That would be rude. The rain is awfully glum. But then again, this whole damn town is glum. You tell? I get this reunion isn’t exactly smooth because we’re both refraining ourselves, and I don’t particularly have a lot of time either…so what is it that you said required a ‘specific’ talk?’
‘Car….olina…’ She immediately finished my name, so as to eradicate any intimacy my nickname would have evoked between us. ‘It’s been too long since we kept this wrapped up.’
‘What on Earth do you mean?’ began I, erupting into spasms of anger. ‘Am I to sashay what happened to us? Do you, in your right mind think we will be believed? Are you seriously aware of that? Public dejection is one thing…but the very idea of people questioning the authenticity of what went down; is mental murder for me. Because it did happen. She was taken from us. And we know it. That is enough.’
‘Then explain to me how we may justify, that Anneliese’s body is no longer in her grave? That’s right. Two nights ago I went to visit her…I had been having some dreams and I thought of visiting her - what I now realize, my sisters were not strong enough for - when I saw something that I knew was coming…she wasn’t there. They’ve taken her body. This nightmare hasn’t really ended! Her gravestone is cracked Carolina!’
‘That only happens to glass…’
‘That is beside the point. Do you hear? Our youngest sister has been dug up and taken away from her own grave! We don’t know where she is now. Except for our best guess…which leads to Holstridge Manor, again. I have been searching for your number, but was fortunate enough to run into you yesterday. I don’t know the whereabouts of Roxanne and Delilah; but my friend Dean told me he’d send for possible addresses and numbers…or something...I don’t know!’
I can’t answer her.
‘Well!? Don’t you dare stand mute! I need you the most!’
I couldn’t fathom her beyond Holstridge Manor. The name itself is an incarnation of horror. It is a frightful electrocution of a gripping and icy flashback that overpowered me. It is the scariest feeling ever.
‘The oldest is now the most terrorized? I know you suffered the most. That night...when you witnessed the…transformation…I’m sorry. But please, we have to bring her back. Her soul is not at rest this way. She’ll be haunted for all eternity! This torturous horror is never going to end. It’s starting again…’
‘Oh Lord…forgive us for we have sinned…forgive us for we knew not what we did…forgive us and save us from this nightmare…save us from this feat worse than Hell!’
‘Carolina…grab a hold of yourself! Revert to who you were before!’ She seized me by the shoulders and shook me with force. ‘We need to find her, and burn her body. It’s the only way she’ll be free from the curse...because she’s dead… And for that, we need to find Roxanne and Delilah. We have to go before she returns.’
‘Madness! How can you win against them? You can’t!’ Suddenly I reached for her hand and uttered in an ominous tone, ‘She’s not ours anymore Joe. She’s theirs!’
‘No!’ And she broke out crying, but pressed her hand against her mouth to choke the spasmodic sobs. ‘She’s ours…please, no!’ It was too much. She couldn’t control her emotion anymore and burst forth. I have never seen her so weak.
‘This conversation ends now. I am not psychologically strong enough to hear this crap again. If you mean to tell me Annie is among the walking dead now, then it’s a nature, WE, have no power to curb. She is in their territory and is one of them now. She died a Maggot and arose a Maggot!’ The last sentence was uttered by a newly discovered thunder that surged from within me. I feel as though I have reignited my old authoritative self; and have shed the skin of the weakling that blanketed me. I feel surer all of a sudden and more awake. I have a grip on the situation finally.
‘Carolina! Please! She still has our blood! She’s still one of us! Oh! Let’s not deprive her of that when she is dead! I don’t even know if she was dead when we buried her! Don’t you think it was a bit absurd the way she was left like that!? We couldn’t possibly have thought such horrors would yield an abrupt ending? Remember?! Roxy even said she could hear her breathing! Nothing is making any sense! Stop! Don’t go!’ Josephina held my hand to stop me from leaving. An interesting sense of passionate madness has overcome her. ‘Remember!? Remember we promised mom we’d be there for each other?! I can’t let her live this way! She must be at peace or else none of us will be at peace because mom and dad won’t be at peace because!
‘Shush! I need time to think! And whether this wild goose chase will be worth it or not!’ Having said that, I quickly took my umbrella and began to walk out of the park.
‘Carolina! She’s our sister!’ Josephina almost half shrieked, her eyes wide in disbelief and getting further teary.
‘Like I said before, she’s their property now.’ And I exited with that air of finality.
The rain has stopped pouring at this time, and the streetlights are shining on the numerous puddles of water that have collected on the edges of the sidewalks. Racing down the road to my building, I turn to just one more glimpse of Joe. She is still standing there, stationary. And she is staring right at me. It’s sending chills down my spine; and coupled with the cool breeze that is blowing, I feel uncomfortable and…guilty. However, I’m convinced I’m right. How can you win against a supernatural force? How? Why can’t we just LIVE for once? This shunning life in our faces has doomed any sense of happiness we might have had on this damned planet.
Thank God I made it before 7:00p.m. If there’s any relief of having to come back to this shackle, then it’s definitely the strong essence of punctuality that is exuded here. Exactly four minutes later, Jackie Hansen and Morris DelVito, a pair of college students taking up this ‘guarding’ business for some extra cash appeared, and nestled outside the entrance, laughing more loudly than the honks of all the passing cars. Great to ward off any ghosts, I’m sure. But…reflecting on what went down today, I don’t know
what I can make of it. I’m already so fragile from my experience before, that the mere whisper of a playback of it is enough to kill me.
I’ve just switched on the lamp in my apartment and things seem…nicer. It’s like a ray of sunshine opened up in the bowels of darkness. This is going to sound corny; but maybe I need to switch on the light in my attic too…that will help me locate the memorabilia I swore to always keep at bay. In other words, maybe I need to actually sit down and think those events over. Josephina is right. Anneliese’s body is in their bloody possession right now…it’s got to be. The crack…it makes sense. Babe Ruth’s ‘Never let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game’ is what I begun to preach like non-stop…at least to myself, so where did my practice go? We’re going to track down her body and finally set her free from this torment. Must call Joe immediately…
We’re meeting tomorrow again, at 8:30 a.m. And this time we’ll meet up with both Roxanne and Delilah and then head for…that place. Hn. This is the first time in the longest time that I’ve felt a smile escape and spread across my face. It’s a self-pitying smile actually, because I’m asking myself to brace for the past and ruminate over those events. A little early for self-realization but perhaps the fact that I’ve been living in denial of the past and not fully accepting it, are the reasons for my misery. It is perhaps one of the reasons for anyone’s misery. I believe it is what has kept me psychologically lost all these months as well, and so afraid. Facing them is what will set, even me free. So let’s go back…back to it all. Back to my past. That’s right. I have to do this.
-- CHAPTER THREE --
The Past