Things were still ugly in California. I had an obligation to Gabriella and I wasn’t going to back away from what was required of me. That didn’t stop me from missing Noah, Chelsea and the kids so much, though. Our nightly talks on Skype or on FaceTime just weren’t enough. I wanted to hug them and be hugged.
At least I was in Southern California now. Gabriella was home, tucked into bed with Liam in the house that Emmie and I had been able to buy for them near Gabriella’s cousin Alexis. At Emmie’s invitation I was now sleeping in one of her guest bedrooms rather than living out of a suitcase in a hotel. Being around her and her adorable family helped with my homesickness, but at the same time made it that much worse. Especially when I saw her with her kids.
Sighing, I tried to toss my growing depression aside as I got out of bed and stepped into the shower in my en suite. By the time I returned to the bedroom it was to find I’d missed a call from home. Mieke. My heart clenched when I glanced at the time and realized she was probably too busy by now to call her back. That girl was crazy busy with taking prep tests for college and I was so freaking proud of her.
Swallowing my disappointment, I dressed and went downstairs for breakfast. Emmie was already sitting at the kitchen table with her baby son when I walked in. Jagger gave me an adorable grin and a small wave as I went to the coffee pot for a giant mug of strong black coffee.
“Morning,” Emmie greeted. “Sleep well?”
It was the third night I’d slept at Emmie’s house and I’d slept better there than I had in the hotel. “Pretty good. What about you?” I turned to glance at her, taking in the dark circles under her big green eyes that she couldn’t hide with makeup.
“I got a few hours.”
I nodded, knowing for a fact that a few hours of sleep for Emmie was a hell of a lot more than she had been getting. I doubt she’d gotten a full night’s sleep since the attempted kidnapping of her daughter, Mia.
The housekeeper, Gail, came into the kitchen with an empty coffee cup. “Good morning, Miss Cassidy. Would you like something to eat?”
“I’ll just make myself some toast, but thanks.” I took a sip of my rich coffee. Somehow I’d gotten addicted to Jesse Thornton’s special recipe over the last few weeks. It had been the one thing that I’d basically been living off of after the hell Emmie and I’d had to deal with concerning the hospital, feds, press and any number of other shitty problems we’d been faced with. Now I basically lived off that damn recipe and my stomach was definitely not my friend for it.
“Okay. If you need anything let me know.” She placed the empty cup in the sink and went down the hall to what I assumed was the laundry room.
Emmie stood and walked over to the sink, rinsing out her cereal bowl before turning to face me. “Well, have you thought about my offer?”
I frowned down into my coffee. The day before, Emmie had made me an offer that I didn’t know if I was willing to accept or not. We’d made a great team working through the shit storm with Gabriella and the press and all the extra crap. Things could have been a hell of a lot worse if we hadn’t worked together like we had.
She wanted me to go into business with her. Meaning, turn her small client list and my slightly larger list—larger, yet not as well known—and merge. It was an amazing idea, offering me resources for the clients I already had that I hadn’t been able to before. Sure I had connections, but I doubted the president had the kind of connections that Emmie Armstrong did. With her as my partner I could open so many doors for my people.
It also meant moving across the country. Not seeing my family as often as I was used to. It was that thought alone that was holding me back. “I’m still thinking about it, Em.” I lifted my eyes and met her understanding gaze. “Can I have a few more days? I promise to have an answer for you by the weekend.”
She shrugged. “Take as much time as you need. I’m not going to take back the offer so consider it an open invitation.” She crossed back to the table and lifted her son into her arms. Jagger wrapped his arms around her neck happily, pressing a wet kiss to his momma’s cheek. “And just so you know, us being partners doesn’t mean you can’t still live in Tennessee. I know what’s waiting on you back there and realize how hard it will be to just uproot yourself like that. That’s the joys of technology, Annabelle.” With a wink she left me alone in the kitchen.
After eating my toast I grabbed the keys to my rental and headed out. It was only a few blocks from Emmie’s house in Malibu to the one Gabriella now lived in with her rocker fiancé. If I didn’t have to go into the city later I would have walked the short distance, but my lunch meeting was important and I didn’t want to be late. I parked behind Liam’s SUV and stepped out of the cute little sports car I’d rented.
There was another vehicle already in the driveway that I didn’t recognize. Figuring it was one of Gabriella’s relatives, I climbed the steps to the front porch and pressed the doorbell. Liam opened the door with a welcoming smile on his face. His clear blue eyes were so much more welcoming than the drug-clouded ones I remembered so well.
“Anna Banana,” he greeted with a grin. He lifted his coffee cup to his lips, taking a large swallow before stepping back. “Come in. She’s in the living room.”
I stepped into the house, dropping my keys on the table by the door. “How is she feeling?”
“Cranky,” he said with another grin. “Come on, I’ll protect you.”
Laughing, I followed him into the living room. My gaze went straight to the couch where Gabriella Moreitti was sitting with a fleece throw over her legs. She was sipping at a mug and pouting. As soon as she saw me, her eyes brightened. “Please tell me I get to go somewhere today?”
“I don’t care what Anna Banana says. You’re staying right there.” Liam bent and kissed his fiancée’s lips before sitting down on the couch’s arm beside her. “I mean it. You’re lucky I let your sexy ass out of bed.”
Brown eyes brightened, but she glared up at him. “No, you’re lucky I let your sexy ass out of bed.”
Liam shrugged. “Same difference,” he said with a sexy wink for her.
I snorted and pulled a few files out of my bag. “Sorry, babe. I haven’t come to spring you from your imprisonment yet. I just needed you to sign these before I send them to the record execs. Since your doctor says you can’t sing for a few more weeks, we have to postpone the scheduled time already set up with the producers.”
Her pout only got worse. “I’m completely fine. I don’t know why everyone wants to baby me. I could sing if I wanted to.”
“But you’re not going to,” Liam told her, not giving in when she turned those big pleading eyes on him. “Your new material will still be there when your doctors give the okay. Until then you aren’t going to do anything but sit here and keep me company.”
“Baby, I know you love me, but even I need a break from myself every now and then. I know you’re probably climbing your mental walls right now wondering how soon you can get out of the house for an hour to yourself.” Liam opened his mouth to protest but quickly shut it again when she grinned at him. “It’s okay. I still love you.”
“Okay.” I set the files on the stone coffee table in front of her and sat down on the matching chair across from her. “You can go over those and let me know what changes you want. I’ll drop them off on my way into the city.”
“Hey, Brie. Do you want more tea while we’re in here?” I glanced up as Natalie Cutter stuck her head into the living room. “Oh, hi, Annabelle.”
I smiled up at her before letting my gaze drop to the small baby bump under her white T-shirt. “Hi. How are you?” The few times I’d gotten to talk to Emmie’s assistant, she’d told me she was having some blood pressure issues.
Natalie smiled. “No headaches today, but I’m sure that will change by the time I get over to Emmie’s. Can I get you a cup of coffee or something while we’re still in there destroying the kitchen?”
“No, thanks. I just swallowed half a pot over at Em
’s.”
“Brie?”
“No, thanks, Nat. And you don’t have to clean up in there, you know. We have a housekeeper who is supposed to be by later.” Gabriella lifted her eyes from the documents I’d given her. “Devlin couldn’t have made that big of a mess.”
“If it had just been Dev, probably not. But you know if you get those two together that they do more playing than anything else.” Natalie rolled her eyes and turned back toward the kitchen. “Let me know if you need anything. You should rest as much as you can.”
Gabriella grimaced. “Why does everyone treat me like a baby? I’m fine now.”
“And that’s the way we want to keep you,” Liam muttered as he lifted his mug to his lips. Draining the rest of his coffee, he stood. “I’m going to get another cup and see what kind of mess those two jackasses made.”
I sat back in my chair after he left the room. “I didn’t expect you to have company. If I had, I would have called before I came over.”
Gabriella waved her hand dismissively. “You’re always welcome here, babe. I love seeing you. Natalie, Devlin and Zander just brought us some breakfast this morning. Natalie offered to do the dishes but Dev wouldn’t let her so he designated himself and Z to clean up. Apparently she’s in there cleaning up their mess plus our earlier one.”
Without my realizing it, my hands started to shake at the mention of Zander. Clenching them into fists, I sat up a little straighter in my chair. “Like I said, I wouldn’t have come if I’d known you had company.”
I wanted to jump up and run from the room. I didn’t want to be in the same state with Zander Brockman let alone the same house. For weeks I’d had to deal with seeing him in passing at the hospital. Each time I’d seen him it had felt like I was being stabbed in the chest with a knife.
I’d avoided so much as looking at him, but the few times I’d found myself giving in, it was to find his tortured green eyes staring at me. Green without the gold flecks. I’d felt destroyed seeing his eyes like that. Other than that first time he’d spoken to me, he’d kept his distance and I had been both glad and hurt to my very soul that he hadn’t tried to talk to me. Was it really so easy to forget all about me? To ignore me for so many years and pretend like I didn’t exist when I was in the same fucking room as him?
With all the hell I’d had to deal with over the last month, having to see him so often had been the worst part of all. I’d barely slept at night torturing myself over Zander Fucking Brockman.
Gabriella smirked at me. “So, it’s true?”
I blinked, not understanding her. “What?”
“That you and Z once…?”
Pain sliced through me at her question. I tried not to think about that time in my life, but that wasn’t possible. Ever. Something always reminded me of my time with Zander. Gabriella had no way of knowing what I’d gone through after Zander had left me. She didn’t know the lows I’d fallen to just to try to get him to talk to me on so many occasions. No one but Noah, Chelsea and Rich Branson knew how desperate I’d been to have Zander open a letter or pick up a fucking phone and have a five-minute conversation with me. Gabriella had no clue of the shame I still felt for trying so many times over the years to reach out to a man who had made it perfectly clear I didn’t matter to him. I couldn’t yell at her for asking a question that felt like it was tearing my heart out of my chest. Sure it was a small, innocent-enough question, but it hurt nonetheless.
“Yeah,” I muttered and had to clear my throat. “Another lifetime ago, but yeah.”
The amusement left her face. “I’m sorry, Annabelle. I wasn’t trying to be a bitch. It’s just that when Liam told me that you and Z…” She shrugged. “Well, I couldn’t really believe it. You two are so different. I mean, you’re so put together and he’s…well, not.”
“Have you found any changes you’d like to make yet?” I changed the subject without even caring that I was being obvious about it. “I have a lunch appointment so, if you don’t mind, we need to hurry this along.”
Her eyes filled with sympathy. “Just that I want a few extra days to do those new songs I’ve been working on. And talk to Emmie for me about getting OtherWorld into the studio with me so we can record the newest song I wrote.”
I pulled a legal pad out of my bag and scribbled that down before I forgot. She used my pen to sign where she needed to before handing everything over. With them in hand, I didn’t bother to waste time putting them back in my bag. Standing, I gave her a small smile. “I’ll be in touch. Take care of yourself until then.”
Gabriella snorted. “No worries there.”
From the kitchen, I heard Liam laugh followed by two other male chuckles. How was it that I could still pick out his deep laugh? Why the hell did it still make my heart race to hear it? Tightening the hold I had on my bag, I headed for the door. “I’ll call you,” I called as I picked up my keys from the table where I’d left them and opened the door.
“Bye, babe.”
Closing the door behind me, I paused long enough to suck in a deep, steadying breath. I hadn’t even seen Zander and I still felt like my chest was being sliced to shreds. Sucking in another shaky breath, I started toward my rental, on legs that felt unsteady.
Halfway to the car, two things happened at the same time that did conflicting things to my heart. My phone rang and when I looked down at my screen, my heart melted. Also, behind me, the front door opened and someone called my name, making me turn to ice. No, not someone… Him.
Pretending like I didn’t hear him, I swiped my thumb over my phone and lifted it to my ear. I’d already missed one call that morning. I wasn’t about to do it again. “I miss you so, so, so, so much.”
The delighted sound of Mieke’s husky laugh caused my eyes to sting with tears. Fuck, I missed that kid so much. “I miss you more.”
“That’s just not possible, baby.” I pressed the button on my key to unlock my car and tossed my bag into the passenger seat before walking around to the driver’s side. Behind me, I heard heavy footsteps. My heart started racing, but I kept my full attention on the beautiful girl on the other side of my phone. “How is the test prep going? Think those tests this fall will kick your butt?”
“I got this,” Mieke said with confidence in her voice. I had no doubt that she did. She was so damn smart, so talented. She could be or do whatever she wanted, something I’d told her from the first time I held that little angel in my arms. “When are you coming home?”
“Annabelle,” Zander called my name again and my fingers reflexively tightened around my phone.
I didn’t look up as I leaned against the driver’s door and closed my eyes. “I’m not sure, baby. Listen, I need to talk to you about something. Emmie Armstrong has made me an offer. A really good offer.”
“That’s exciting, but you don’t sound like you are.” Concern colored the teenager’s voice. She always could pick up on people’s emotions so easily. It was part of what made her so special.
“Anna.”
He was getting closer and it was almost as if I could feel him as he drew nearer. The small hairs on my entire body stood at attention, as if they yearned for his touch. Hearing the way he’d always shortened my name—something I hadn’t heard in so, so long—made it feel like there were razorblades in my throat when I swallowed. “I don’t know if I’m excited or not. I don’t even know if I’m going to take the offer. I want to talk to you and the others about it first.”
“Anna.” Zander’s voice was so close now and I turned my head away, keeping my eyes on a house in the distance so I wouldn’t look at him. I couldn’t look at that man when I was talking to my favorite person in the entire world. I just couldn’t.
“Who’s that?” Mieke demanded. “Where are you?”
“I’m leaving Gabriella and Liam’s house. I have a lunch meeting with the exec from Tasha Vowel’s record label.” Tasha was one of my clients who was a complete diva. She’d been pissed the last few weeks because I’d been so busy
with Gabriella that I’d had to put her issues on hold. Noah had helped me out as much as he could with the little bitchy singer, but it hadn’t been enough to satisfy her. Now I was on cleanup duty.
“But that isn’t Liam Bryant. I’ve heard his voice a lot over the last few weeks.” Mieke sounded suspicious and I couldn’t help but smile at how protective her husky voice sounded. “Who is it?”
“No one that matters,” I assured her, not daring to tell her who it was. Mieke wasn’t stupid, though. She’d figure it out, but I’d worry about that later. “I have to go, Mieke. I love you.”
“I love you more.”
A strangled laugh escaped me. It was full of all the love I had for that girl. “Love you most.” I disconnected before she could argue and just stood there, still staring at the house in the distance.
He was behind me, less than two feet away. I could feel his body heat, could smell his cologne. A huge part of me wanted to continue to pretend he wasn’t there and just get into my rental. Drive away … maybe even run over his fucking foot in the process. A smaller part of me wanted to know what the hell he wanted.
Glancing down at my phone to make sure the call had really disconnected, I turned to face the man who had destroyed me so utterly and completely. I refused to look anywhere but in his eyes, not wanting to take in the details of how he’d changed over the years. I’d already done that weeks ago and hated myself for how much more attracted I was to this version of Zander Brockman than I’d been to the boy/man version.
“Do you need something?” I kept my voice neutral and mentally gave myself a pat on the back.
Flecks of gold flamed down at me out of green eyes. Was he having an off day, or were his green eyes because of me? Clenching my jaw, I told myself I couldn’t care less either way. Of course I was a big fat liar. My heart was crying out for me to touch him, to comfort him. Where were the hazel eyes that had owned me all those years ago? I wanted them. I wanted him to be stable enough to have them.