Opening it up, my heart skipped a beat at the sight of Annabelle standing on the other side. Not only was my heart happy to see her, but my body instantly reacted at just the sight of her, and I shifted from one foot to the other to relieve some of the tightness in my jeans. “Hi,” she greeted quietly.
I shot a glance over my shoulder, saw that Mieke was lost in whatever she was telling the entranced people around her, and then stepped out of the apartment, leaving the door only slightly ajar so I could get back in. “Hi.” I lifted a hand, needing to touch some part of her to remind myself that she was real, that she was actually standing there in front of me.
I caught hold of her fingers and she stiffened for a second before seeming to force herself to relax. Her hand was so soft, so delicate. I wanted it stroking over my chest, over my thighs and wrapping around my aching cock.
“How did it go today? Did you and Mieke get along well?”
“We had a great time. I think she likes it here.” I grimaced, knowing I had to tell her the rest. “I had Natalie set up a dinner with just the guys. Everyone but Devlin tried to put the blame on you.” I watched as her jaw clenched and she lowered her eyes, not allowing me to see what she was feeling.
“Before I could set them straight, Mieke tore them a new one.” That had Annabelle’s head snapping up and I grinned. “Even Wroth. She’s got guts, I’ll give her that. But then again, look at her mother.” I tightened my hold on her hand. “You did a great job raising her, Anna. She’s an amazing kid.”
Annabelle swallowed hard once, twice, and then cleared her throat. “I saw that you had guests, so I don’t want to interrupt. Natalie messaged me earlier and said that she’d gotten your spare room sorted for Mieke. I don’t mind her staying with you while we’re in town, but we’ll be leaving the day after tomorrow.”
The thought of her leaving didn’t bother me as much as it might have before, because I wasn’t going to sit around in California while they went back to Tennessee without me. I’d be on the same flight with them, camped out in their front yard if I had to. I needed to be with them, but there were also things that I needed to do in Tennessee. First was to visit my baby daughter’s grave and tell her how sorry I was for not being there to hold her. And second, win back what I’d thrown away all those years ago when I’d left without Annabelle Cassidy.
“Thanks for letting her stay with me.” I rubbed my thumb across the back of her hand and had to suppress my smirk when I saw gooseflesh pop up along her arm. So she wasn’t any more immune to me than I was to her. That definitely worked in my favor. “Will you be at Emmie’s?”
She shook her head. “No. Nik and I had words this morning and I’d rather stay as far away from him as possible for the moment. Like the OtherWorld guys, he blames me for not telling you about Mieke.”
I dropped her hand, afraid that I’d crush it if I didn’t. “I’ll talk to him.” I hadn’t been expecting Nik to take sides in this shit-storm. I appreciated him sticking up for me, but not at the cost of Annabelle’s feelings.
Annabelle snorted. “Don’t bother. I’m not going to lose any sleep over what Nik Armstrong might think of me. I’m just going to get a hotel for the next few nights.”
“No.” There was no way in hell I was going to let her stay at a hotel. I was greedy for every second I could get from her, not to mention I would worry about her being alone like that. Whoever had shot Gabriella was still out there; who knew what else that crazy bitch would do next.
Sky-blue eyes narrowed on me, blond brows lifting. “No?”
“Don’t stay at a hotel, Anna. There’s no use wasting your money when I have a perfectly good bed right here.” I thought it was a good enough argument to make.
Her brows only lifted higher. “You have two bedrooms, Zander. One of them is Mieke’s and, while I love that girl with every breath in my body, I’d rather not have to see a chiropractor in the morning. She’s all over the place when she sleeps, all legs and arms that kick and flail.”
“So take my bed…” Blue eyes turned glacier and I rushed to continue, “…and I’ll take the couch. I swear I’ll keep my hands to myself. For now.”
Those eyes I’d always loved—would always love—lost some of their frost, but she was still narrowing them at me. “You’re awfully cocky, Zander Brockman. How did I forget that about you?”
I ignored her question, knowing without a doubt she hadn’t forgotten so much as the smallest detail about me over the years. Fuck, it was the same for me. “Stay here, Anna. Let’s give Mieke a taste of what having both her parents under the same roof would feel like.”
Annabelle lowered her eyes to the carpeted hallway and I knew I’d hit a nerve for her. By the way she sucked in a shuddering breath, it must have been a painful nerve. Damn it, I hadn’t meant to hurt her. My goal in life from that day forward was to never hurt her again.
“Hell, Anna. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”
She shook her pale-blond and hot-pink hair back from her face, lifting her gaze back to mine. The look in her eyes was so sad it broke my heart a little more. “You’re right, Z. It would be nice for Mieke to have us both for once. Even if it is only for a few more days.”
I thrust my hands into the front pockets of my jeans so I wouldn’t reach out and tuck a stray strand of hot-pink hair behind her ear. “I’m going back to Tennessee with you and our daughter when it’s time for you to go, babe. I want to see Michelle’s…grave.” Just saying that one word felt like I was being stabbed directly in the heart with a thousand daggers. “Plus, I want the chance to get to know Mieke better…and you.”
She flinched at the last part and took what seemed to me to be an involuntary step back. “It would be good for you to see where Michelle is buried, and I love the idea of you spending more time with Mieke. She’s going to enjoy that. But I am featured nowhere in your future. I’m nothing but your daughter’s mother. It begins and ends there, Zander. Our chance was over a long time ago.”
“Maybe it was, but then again, maybe it wasn’t. We’ll never know unless we try, Anna.” I was going to try my damnedest to prove to her our time wasn’t over.
It was just the beginning.
CHAPTER TWENTY ONE
Annabelle
From the second I stepped off the plane in Nashville, I felt like I could actually breathe again. I didn’t know if it was because I was finally home again after so many weeks away, or because everything and everyone I loved was there, or maybe even if it was because I was so close to Michelle when I was in Tennessee. None of the reasons mattered. I was simply happy to be home. Where I belonged.
I stood with Mieke and Zander as we waited at baggage claim for our luggage. Either Emmie or Natalie had been able to get Zander a ticket on the same flight as Mieke’s and mine, and had snuck and upgraded our two seats to first class with Zander. I rarely flew first class, not because of the money—no, my brother still made enough off his royalties, and my own income was enough to keep my daughter and me comfortable for a very, very long time. I just didn’t see the point in wasting money for first class when all I needed was a seat on a plane that was taking me in the direction I wanted to go.
Mieke didn’t have any luggage to pick up since she’d only brought her backpack and a carry-on with her. I had two carry-on cases as well as a larger, heavy case I’d had to check. Zander had only brought one large bag that he’d checked. Seeing our bags coming our way now, he reached for both before I could even try.
Turning to me, he took both my carry-on cases, stacked one on top of each of the larger bags, and smiled that smile that had always melted me. “I think I see your brother.” He lifted his chin in the direction of where people were waiting for the disembarking passengers. “Bet he’ll be happy to see me, huh?”
I bit down on the inside of my cheek. Noah had been unusually quiet when I’d told him Zander was coming back with me. A quiet Noah was an unpredictable Noah. I had worried about his reaction to the sight of his old friend the
entire flight home. Would he punch Zander on sight? Wait until we had gotten to my house—that just happened to be right next door to my brother and sister-in-law—before taking a swing at Z? Or would he put the past behind him, as I was trying so hard to do, and welcome his old friend home?
Just as I wasn’t sure how Noah would react, I wasn’t at all sure how I wanted my brother to react. For Mieke’s sake, I hoped Noah would keep his cool and would welcome her father back with a manly one-armed hug and a pat on the back. For me? I had no idea how I wanted things to play out. Sure I wanted my brother to vindicate me, to at least punch the man who had broken my heart. In the face. Twice. Yet, at the same time, I didn’t want Zander hurt.
Yeah, I was conflicted. Having spent some time with the delicious rocker again, my emotions were all over the place and I didn’t know if I wanted to punch him in the face or kiss him. The way my feelings continued to flip back and forth was giving me whiplash. And a headache.
Over the last few days, I’d gotten to know Zander again without even realizing I was doing it. I spent most of my days out, taking care of business so I could get back to Tennessee as quickly as possible. Emmie had moved lightning fast and had gotten our partnership contract drawn up. I had it in my carry-on so I could go over it a little more in-depth as well as let my attorney look it over before signing it.
My nights, however, had been spent at Zander’s apartment. It had just been the three of us each night. We would spend the evenings eating dinner together, mostly takeout. After dinner we would all sit in the living room, watching a movie—or at least pretending to. The movie was usually forgotten halfway through, at which point the huge flat-screen was put on mute and Mieke would tell her father some silly story from her childhood. She would talk until she grew tired and then she would go to bed.
Leaving me all alone with Zander Brockman. The father of my child. The man who had broken my heart…but was trying to put it back together. Not once in the few nights I’d spent at his apartment had he tried anything. He’d kept to one end of the long couch while I’d stayed on the other end. All he wanted to do was talk, so talk we did. Without even realizing it, each night I wouldn’t stop talking until hours later. He would ask question after question if for some reason I happened to stop talking.
He wanted to know about me, about what I’d been doing the last seventeen years. Was it hard for me to finish high school being a single mother? I hadn’t finished. I’d had to quit because it had gotten too hard to get out of bed some mornings, so I’d gotten my GED. When had I stepped in as Noah’s manager? I’d always acted in some way as his manager, but it wasn’t until Mieke was in school that I really took over that responsibility. Why had I kept it up when Noah had retired? I was good at it and I’d had clients lining up, begging me to be their manager. Did I enjoy my job? Most of the time, yes. But there were times when I wanted to punch one of my clients in the balls—or the tit—and tell them to go fuck themselves.
Even odder, Zander never once asked a question that was overly personal. Such as, if I’d dated anyone over the years, or even if I currently had a boyfriend.
I was glad for that small reprieve. I’d never been all that good at lying to Zander; at least I hadn’t been in the past. Now, I didn’t want to test those waters and embarrass myself by telling him there had been an endless line of guys who had wanted me and I’d let them have me. If he saw through that lie, I didn’t think I could ever face him again.
Pathetically, while Zander had broken his promise right from the start to come back for me, I’d kept my own to him. I’d promised him I’d wait as long as he needed me to, and stupidly I had. There hadn’t been another man in my life since the morning Zander had driven away. I could lie to myself and say that I hadn’t gotten involved with anyone else over the years simply because I didn’t want to risk getting hurt again. That was partly true, but not all of it.
Mostly, I guess I’d been secretly hoping that Z would eventually come back for me. That was why I’d given our baby girls variations of our names. It was why I’d done so many other stupid things throughout the years as I’d prayed for him to come back. For me.
Oh, yeah. I was definitely pathetic.
“Uncle Noah,” Mieke called out excitedly and rushed ahead of us to wrap her arms around the man who had stepped up to the plate and been the father figure that my daughter had needed for the last sixteen-plus years.
I watched as my brother wrapped Mieke up in a tight hug, swinging her around twice just to make her squeal in delight. Even though he had two kids of his own, Noah had never treated Mieke any differently than he did Ben and Audrey. To him, Mieke was just as special as his own kids.
Setting Mieke back on her feet, Noah took a step back so that he could look his niece over. “Have you grown another inch?” He lifted a brow at the teenager. “Yeah, I think you have.”
“I wouldn’t doubt it,” she assured him.
Noah’s smile started to dim. “I’m mad at you, Mieke. You scared the life out of me when Ben told me you were gone. All I could think about was…” He broke off and I knew he was remembering what we’d all gone through when Mieke had been kidnapped. He shook his blond head at her. “Don’t you ever do that to me again. You hear me?”
Mieke kissed Noah’s cheek, a soft smile on her beautiful face. “Yes, sir. I promise.”
“Good.” Keeping one arm around her shoulders, he turned to finally look at me—and the man standing next to me. Noah kept his gaze on me, as if trying to figure out what I was thinking.
For a long moment he accessed me before finally lifting his blue eyes to meet hazel. Yes, hazel. Zander’s eyes had been more often hazel than green the last two days and, while I was glad he was being so calm about all that was going on in his life at that moment, I couldn’t help but wonder why. The Zander I remembered would have had all green eyes, with little to no gold in sight.
The two men locked gazes and stood there staring each other down for nearly a full minute. I glanced at Mieke, who was watching her uncle and father, biting her bottom lip as she felt the tension radiating off of them both.
It was Zander who made the first move. Letting go of the luggage, he took a step forward and offered his hand to the man who had once been one of his closest friends. Noah hesitated for a brief moment before lifting his hand and shaking Zander’s. “Good to see you, Z.”
“You too, Noah. Looks like life has been treating you well. Congrats on your two kids.” Zander stepped back but didn’t immediately take hold of the luggage again. “I’d like to talk to you later, if that’s possible.”
“Yeah, sure, man.” Noah glanced back down at Mieke. “Let’s get you home. Your Aunt Chelsea wants to hug you…before she takes a wooden spoon to your behind.”
Mieke snorted, knowing that Chelsea would never do anything of the kind. Chelsea was the least likely person to raise her hand to a child in the world. It had surprised me just how patient she had been with our kids, even from the start. Even when I’d been ready to rip my hair out, Chelsea had been the calm one. She was the best mother, too. Making sure that not only did her kids have someone to support them, but Mieke did as well when I couldn’t be at special events. When Mieke had been taken, she’d blamed herself since she’d had to back out of chaperoning the fieldtrip. I’d been losing my mind at the time, but I’d still stopped long enough to hug her and tell her that out of everyone who could have been blamed, Chelsea wasn’t even on the list. Her son had been sick and she’d had to take him to the doctor. No one was going to ever blame her for what had happened to Mieke. I’d gut them if they even tried.
“Okay, well, we’d better get this over with, huh?” Mieke smirked up at her uncle.
Noah helped Zander with the luggage as we headed out of the airport and to the SUV that belonged to my brother. While the men put the cases in the back, I started to jump into the front passenger seat, but Mieke beat me to it. “I’ve missed Uncle Noah. Do you mind if I sit up front with him?”
I blew out an exasperated sigh at my daughter, knowing from the amused gleam in her green and gold eyes that it was more about me sitting with her father in the back seat than how much she had actually missed her uncle. For some reason I didn’t call her out on it, though. I tapped her on the ass with my hand as she climbed into the front passenger seat before climbing into the back seat directly behind her.
Several minutes later, once all of our luggage was sorted so that Noah could see out the rear mirror, my brother got behind the wheel and Zander climbed in beside me. Seeing that I was sitting beside him, Zander grinned and scooted a few inches closer than were actually necessary considering how big the back seat of the SUV was. Draping his arm across the back of the bench seat, he turned ever so slightly toward me, his long fingers playing with the ends of my ponytail while Mieke pointed out some of her favorite places on the ride home.
My house was just outside of the city, in Green Hills, Tennessee. It was a more affluent area and several celebrities lived there. I lived on a corner lot in a smaller two-story house that had three bedrooms. Noah and Chelsea lived in the house to my right, while across the street was an ex-linebacker for the Tennessee Titans. His house was considerably larger than either Noah’s or mine, but then again, he needed the extra room with all the kids he and his wife kept popping out on a regular basis. Seriously, in the five years they had lived across the street, I couldn’t remember a time when that chick hadn’t been pregnant. They had a total of six kids with one on the way. Noah teased them, saying that they were starting their own football team. The dude never really corrected him, so I assumed that was his goal.
Pulling into his own driveway, Noah honked the horn three times before opening his door. No sooner had we stepped out of the SUV were we surrounded by my sister-in-law, niece, and nephew. I got hugs from the kids before Ben was wrapping his arms around Mieke and hugging her tight. They talked in hushed voices, but I didn’t try to listen in to the conversation. Those two were best friends, but I knew neither would do something that would actually get the other hurt. Although their plan for Mieke to fly to California on her own without saying a word to anyone had skated the line, I knew that Ben wouldn’t have done it if he’d thought his cousin would be in any real danger.