One Fall
CHAPTER 19
There is a specific silence to the open road that comes about after one’s brain has assimilated the hum of the engine and the beats of the tires on the asphalt. The air conditioner, the radio, the blast of wind from an open window – they all become a part of this silence that is immune to every attempt at covering it, save one, companionship.
Joey’s world as a traveler, a showman on the move, was exquisitely changed with the addition of Jade to his passenger seat. Traveling alone for a year in the Southeast Wrestling League and a month in the GWA had given Joey much more solitude than his disposition required. Now, driving a rented Ford Expedition on Highway 187 through West Texas, into the purple of the fading sunset, with open prairie on either side and no taillights obstructing the view in front of him, Joey felt profoundly different about his place in the wrestling world, and wished he had taken on a traveling partner sooner.
They had spent the rest of Tuesday relaxing in and around the Hyatt in Houston. They had surfed the Internet for over an hour, finding pictures and articles about their tryst on virtually every wrestling web site. Wrestlingdailytribune.com was particularly brutal. The kid in the trench coat who had followed Joey to the hotel apparently worked for this virtual rag, as it was the one that showed a full splash of pictures of Joey in his underwear. The captions pointed out that Joey was standing in front of the room registered to Jade Wilcox, where he had spent the night. The little snoops had successfully re-created Joey and Jade’s entire Monday night, showing pictures of them leaving the arena, waiting in front of the hospital, talking at the coffee shop, and entering the hotel together.
Jade was entirely unfazed by the photo spreads. She told Joey it was part of being a star, and he should be flattered. She told him that she had been aware that this sort of attention was a possibility, but wanted to spend the night with him anyway.
The web sites were most fascinated that Joey was sleeping with Goliath’s ex on the same night that he laid him out in the ring. More than one webmaster had opined that Joey’s kick was purposeful, and that there was backstage friction between him and Goliath, centered around Jade. A notably horrendous site called Thefigurefive.com was covered in stories about backstage confrontations between Joey and Goliath dating back two weeks, each story beginning with the ominous, “Sources say...”
Another interesting take was that everything, from Goliath’s injury to Joey and Jade’s tryst, was an elaborate “work,” which, in wrestling lingo, meant that the company was pretending all this was real when in fact it was scripted. The rationale behind this theory was that the GWA wanted to set up a storyline involving Joey, Goliath, and Jade. As Joey read the fervor with which this hypothesis was proclaimed, he wondered if it wasn’t such a bad idea. Wouldn’t that get people talking, if all of this were just an angle, right up to the backstage relationship between Joey and Jade?
If only Duke could be persuaded that Jade should become part of his main event angle. Sadly, Joey knew that Duke would hear nothing of it. For whatever reason, Duke was very clear that Jade wasn’t to be involved with Joey at all, in real life or on television.
Joey had not mentioned Duke’s orders regarding his relationship with Jade. Everything he told Jade about his conversation with Duke was grayed in a web of half-truths. He told her Duke was considering turning Goliath’s injury into part of the story. He also told her that Duke was considering an end to Joey’s push altogether.
Both these stories were true, but didn’t make any sense to Jade. How, she asked, could Duke consider ending Joey’s push at the same time he was pondering a main event storyline for him? Joey said he didn’t know, a lie. Duke’s commandment to Joey, his insistence that Joey not speak to Jade, was the missing piece. Joey tried carefully to cover its absence while still telling as much of the truth as possible. He envisioned a scenario in his mind whereby Jade would never find out the whole story.
The scenario required Joey to continue hinting at the possibility that Duke might end Joey’s push out of sheer disgust at the whole Goliath fiasco. After this seed had been planted in Jade’s mind, Joey would return to work on Friday, with Jade at his side. When Duke saw Joey and Jade still together, in defiance of his order, Joey’s push would end. Jade, and the rest of the wrestling world, would believe that Joey’s mistake on Monday night, combined with his shrinking status backstage, spelled the end for his push. Only Joey and Duke would ever have to know the real story.
There was some relief in those thoughts for Joey. Even if he wallowed at the bottom of the card for the rest of his contract, it was only for a year. Maybe at this time next year he’d be wrestling for Revolution. Maybe Jade would join him there, and all this crap would be in the past. The Goliath fiasco would be forgotten, there would be new rookies to take the brunt of the backstage jealousy, and Joey would be free to do what he loved, free to wrestle.
“Why did you get into this business?” he asked Jade. She smiled at him, perhaps surprised at the question, perhaps surprised that this was the first time it had been asked. She sat quietly for a minute, too relaxed to just leap into an answer of such importance. She had rolled back into the passenger seat, her bare feet on the dash, her thighs spilling from her denim shorts. As she prepared to speak, she sat up.
“My dad and I watched wrestling together when I was a kid,” she said. “It was our thing. Actually, it was his thing, I didn’t really get it. But I knew he liked it, and I knew he liked it that I watched with him. I didn’t realize it at the time, but he needed me to watch with him and to talk to him about it. In the eighties, wrestling was practically a kid’s show. If I didn’t watch it with him, he didn’t have any excuse. I don’t have any brothers.”
A lone car approached them going the other way. Jade paused as it passed, its lights briefly invading their private space.
“So it was our Saturday thing,” she continued. “And he loved to talk about it. When he talked to me about wrestling, he talked to me like I was his equal. He had to. I loved it when we talked about wrestling. He never acted like I was a little kid who couldn’t understand that it was staged. He’d get really critical of the booking and the writing and really excited about things he liked and I’d just listen. I don’t know if he ever knew how wonderful it was for me that he trusted me to listen to all his opinions.” She trailed off, her eyes out on the road, lost in some memory.
“Who was his favorite wrestler?” Joey asked.
“Barry Wayne,” she said without hesitation. “Dad loved the Shoulderbuster.”
“Definitely a classic,” Joey said, thinking of Barry Wayne’s signature move, an impressive piledriver-like maneuver in which he used his knee to crush his opponent’s shoulder. The move was outlawed in every North American promotion now – less than perfect execution and the recipient’s neck gets snapped – but back in the day, when Barry Wayne swung some unfortunate soul upside down, the crowd went nuts.
“When I was in fifth grade, Dad and I went to The Cottonwood Theater in North Dallas to watch the 1986 GWA Championship Series on closed circuit TV. I remember he had to pay twenty bucks for our two tickets, which seemed like a fortune to me to pay for wrestling. Do you know the ‘86 Championship Series?”
“Oh yeah,” said Joey.
“Well, we had told my mom that we were going to the zoo. She didn’t care much for wrestling, and definitely wouldn’t have approved of Dad taking me to see it on the big screen and spending twenty bucks.
“I don’t know what you think of the 86 Series, but it’s my favorite pay per view of all time. Shane Walker versus Tank Willis, Red Jackson versus Barry Wayne, The Lyon Brothers versus Havoc – that was just a great show. And my dad was so happy, so at home to be watching it with all the other fans, cheering for the same good guys, talking to each other about the booking. I was really proud that day. I felt like I was at least partly responsible for giving this to him.”
“That’s just awesome,” said Joey. H
e imagined how thrilling it must have been to watch the 86 Championship Series live when it happened. That show truly was one of the all-time greats. The match between Red Jackson and Barry Wayne was a thirty-minute masterpiece that Joey had watched so many times he had it memorized.
“On the way home, Dad and I got our stories straight for Mom,” said Jade. “We planned out what we’d say about all the different animals at the zoo to make sure the lie was genuine. Looking back, it almost sounds kind of dysfunctional, but it was so important at the time. I can’t even begin to describe how special it was to me that Dad and I were breaking the house rules together.”
“So you decided then that you wanted to be a wrestler?” asked Joey.
“You know, I don’t remember making a decision. I don’t remember a moment when I said, ‘Okay, I’m going to be a wrestler.’ But at some point after that day, I knew. By the time I was in high school I was already making plans.”
“Wow. So you knew for a long time that this was what you were meant to do. That’s great. Were you just, totally certain? Did you ever think of doing anything else?”
“Well, there was a time, in high school, when I learned that I needed to keep my plans secret from my mother if they were ever going to happen. When I was a freshman I signed up for gymnastics and track and basketball and volleyball one after the other, and my mom asked me if maybe I shouldn’t slow down some, and I told her I needed to get in shape and learn how to be physical because I wanted to be a wrestler. She laughed it off and told me I was dreaming, but that night after I went to bed, I heard her giving my dad hell. She was telling him that it was time for him and me both to quit watching wrestling. She said it had gone too far, and we were both too old for it, and it embarrassed her, and she wanted it to end. After that it was never quite the same. My dad was always busy with something on Saturday mornings and I’d watch alone, or he’d find something for the whole family to do and I wouldn’t watch at all. That was pretty much how it was for the rest of my time in high school. But I can’t remember ever thinking that I didn’t want to be a wrestler, that I didn’t still love wrestling.”
Joey nodded as he listened. Jade spoke so matter-of-factly about her past. It was obvious that she was meant for this business, and that was why she was such a success. “Then you went to Texas Star,” he said, continuing her story for her. He knew from his days as a fan that Jade attended wrestling school at Texas Star in San Antonio. She was the first woman ever to go through the prestigious program there.
“That’s right,” said Jade. “I went there right after high school. As you might imagine, there was all sorts of shit in the house over that one, but in the end, my dad won out. He told my mom that if I could get in and pay my own way, then there was no reason I couldn’t go.
“You paid your own way?” said Joey. Texas Star was the most expensive wrestling school in the world; it had turned out more superstars than anywhere. Goliath, Deep Six, Lord Mayberry, Flash Martin, Bret Stevens, Butterfly Johnny Grace, and Jade were the current crop of major stars who were graduates of the school. The Star’s legendary training regimen was just two years of instruction and practice, but it was brutal. Those few who made it all the way to the end were guaranteed a spot in one of the major promotions.
“I paid my own way with a lot of work and a lot of debt,” said Jade. “I worked at Macy’s every summer in high school and saved every penny. That paid for the first year. The second year I scammed a bank into giving me a student loan. I was so proud of myself at the time, but it turned into a nightmare. I applied and got into UT San Antonio, applied for and got a student loan at Bank South, used the check to pay for wrestling school, and disenrolled from the university. When the bank found out that I wasn’t going to UT, they started applying this jacked up interest rate right away. I was a big dummy who hadn’t read the contract very carefully and certainly hadn’t thought everything through. I had to take a night job at a call center to make the payments, and even then I was using credit cards and borrowing from friends and not eating just to hold everything together. Had I not gotten a job with GWA right after I finished at Star, I would have had to declare bankruptcy.”
“Gosh,” said Joey. “So you really got lucky?” He was amazed that every wrestler, no matter how rich and famous, at some point in their past, had been flat broke.
“You could say I was lucky. I signed on with Duke because he offered me a huge signing bonus. At the time, I also had an offer from Max Zeffer, who didn’t even have a promotion yet. He had the bold idea of assembling a core group of wrestlers around whom he would center his new promotion. He wanted me and Crystal Waters to be the first two in his women’s division. She signed on. I didn’t. She got stock options when the company went public and is now a millionaire a hundred times over, plus she’s wrestled in some of the greatest women’s matches ever. I’m a magazine centerfold with a hundred bra and panties matches in my book. Man, if Crystal and I were in the same promotion, touring the country, wrestling...we’d change women’s wrestling forever. We’d put it on the map.”
“So, it’s not too late,” said Joey. “You both are still young.”
“She’s not going anywhere, and I’m stuck here for another two years on the damned contract I signed when I wasn’t thinking straight.”
Joey wanted to tell her that it didn’t have to be this way, that there must be some way out. It was crazy to him that Duke, for whatever reason, didn’t want her to work here, and she didn’t want to be here, but they both were slaves to this contract they could end if they’d only talk to each other. For just an instant, Joey considered telling Jade everything Duke had said. All of a sudden it wasn’t fair for him to hold back this info that Duke had something against her, something so strong that he was going to end Joey’s push just for being with her. She was too good at what she did, too meant for greatness, to be stuck working for someone who didn’t appreciate her. And why the hell didn’t Duke like her? It didn’t make any sense. She was the greatest women’s wrestler in the world, and had been for six years now. She had the look, the microphone skills, the mat skills, the fans loved her. Was it her thing with Goliath last year? Was there more to this story that he didn’t know?
“Jade, can I ask you something?” he said.
“Of course.”
That’s right. Of course he could. They had slept together all week. They were traveling together to the next show. Why was he afraid to talk to her?
“I need to preface this by saying that I know it’s none of my business, and this is not at all motivated by jealousy, at least not consciously--”
“You want to hear the scoop about me and Goliath,” she interrupted. There was bemusement in her voice. She was so confident in herself. No wonder the world was in love with her. “Of course you realize what it means if I tell you all this.”
“I promise I won’t tell a soul. What you say in here stays between us.”
“No, you goober. I know you won’t tell anyone any of this shit. What I was going to say is that, if I tell you, it means you and I are for real.”
Joey turned his head to look at her. His face must have been confused because she elaborated.
“Joey, when you asked me out a couple weeks ago, I assumed you were just another wide-eyed rookie who hadn’t figured out yet that you’re my colleague now and not my fan. It happens all the time, and I always say no. I have no idea why I said yes to you, but I did, and here we are.
“Anyway, you’re ten years younger than me, you’ve got a huge future in this business, you and I have already caused some waves with what we’ve done, I just want to make sure you know what you’re doing.”
“Of course I know what I’m doing,” said Joey, with some legitimate frustration in his voice. If only she knew how much he was willing to give up for her.
“I’m just saying...there’s stuff about Goliath that I wouldn’t tell to just anyone, but I want t
o tell you. I don’t want to have secrets from you, and frankly that’s a little scary to me.”
“Why’s it scary?” Joey knew the answer; he felt the same way about the secret he was holding.
“It’s scary because telling secrets is what people in real relationships do, and I know very well that this business isn’t a friendly one for people who want real relationships. I tell you my secrets, and then you tell me yours and before we even get to Albuquerque we’re in love and we want to watch out for each other. Then one of us gets hammered in some backstage political powerplay of the week and the other one of us gets involved because we won’t stand for our lover getting hammered and before you know it it’s us against the world. Then one or both of us gets de-pushed or fired. Then we grow resentful because wrestling was our lives and we gave our lives up for each other and found out we miss wrestling. By the time we’re done, we hate each other with a passion, and it all started because I told you my secrets.”
“Do you want to tell me?” said Joey.
Jade furrowed her brow in displeasure at the question. “Of course I want to tell you.”
“Then you should tell me.”
She took a deep breath, as if steadying herself for a big story. A personal story. Then she began.
“He was so huge, so instantly over with the fans. He had it. He was just like you--” Jade stopped short, her face showing surprise. “Wow. He was just like you. I didn’t realize that until now. Does that scare you?”
“Why would it scare me?” said Joey.
“Because, I must have a type. You and Goliath are my type.”
“Your type is wrestlers who are over?”
“I guess so – what are you laughing at?”
“Jade, you’re so worried about everything being right. You have this vision in your head of what a functional relationship is like--”
“And this isn’t it? You’re right. I never thought I’d be into a guy ten years younger than me who’s wrapped up in this tabloid conflict with my ex-boyfriend.”
Joey laughed again. “It’s not just that,” he said. “You’re scared to tell me anything personal because you think we’ll get too close too soon--”
“I’ve told you all sorts of personal things tonight.”
“Okay, you have, I’m sorry. I was thinking of how you didn’t want to tell me about your relationship with Goliath. By the way, you still haven’t.”
“Well, that’s because you interrupted me.”
“I didn’t interrupt you. You stopped to ask me if I was scared that you had a type.”
Jade grinned and looked down at her lap. “Oh yeah,” she said, playfully, then sat silently for a minute.
“Well...” urged Joey.
“Are you sure you want to hear all this?” said Jade.
“Oh come on. Yes, I want to hear it.”
“Okay.” She took another second to compose herself. “Well, unlike you, Goliath didn’t come onto me.”
Joey considered disputing whether he’d come on to her, but decided not to interrupt.
“I was married to Jonathan at the time. That was a flop. We both knew it was a flop. He was hanging around because I had just signed on with Playboy for a ton of money.
“I was just into Goliath. It was obvious he was going to be the World Champion, like I said, he had it. I don’t know why, I just wanted to be near it. I started talking to him backstage, then I started hanging around with him after shows. I bummed a ride off him from Tacoma to Sacramento. That night, I went to his hotel room, uninvited, let myself in, and the shit started.” She shook her head and stopped talking.
“That’s what you’re so worked up about telling me?” said Joey. “I could have guessed something like that. It happens. Your marriage wasn’t working, you were on the road--”
“It’s more than that, Joey. It’s...I really wanted it to be real, and I’ve never told that to anyone.”
Far from it, Joey thought. Jade and Goliath both had gone out of their way to portray their affair to the media as a horrible lapse in judgment on both their parts, and the few times Joey had seen them interact with each other were miserable affairs of anger and denial. “So you really liked him?” he said.
“Yeah, or, I thought I did. It was a really bad time, and now I look back and see that I was mixed up. It’s a terrible thing to screw up a marriage, at least for a woman. I felt like I’d failed at the most important decision of my life. I felt like I was letting my parents down.”
“What happened? It sounds like your marriage went really wrong really quickly.”
“It did. I had barely been married a year when I made a pass at Goliath. It was like, I knew, even when I was in my wedding dress saying my vows, I knew that this was horribly wrong. I said the vows anyway. We honeymooned in Greece, and literally on the first day, on the plane, we got in a fight. It was just...I don’t know. Have you ever jumped into something even though you knew it wasn’t going to work out?”
“I have,” said Joey, thinking of his mindset when he started wrestling school. He was ready to give it a shot, fail, and then get a real job. Now, two years later, he was a headliner for the GWA.
“So you know what I’m talking about,” said Jade. “I guess what it all boils down to is I had a hard time adjusting to fame. Maybe I still do. When things really started to blow up, and I was on talk shows and in tabloids, I got scared, and I think that’s why I jumped into a bad marriage. I was just desperate for something secure and private, you know?”
“Sure,” said Joey. “I’m starting to see what being famous does to your personal life. Everything changes.”
“You’re right, everything changes. And I think that’s also why I allowed myself to get involved with Goliath. It was a huge mistake, but, I just didn’t know what I was doing.” Jade seemed extremely pleased to have a listener who understood her so well.
“Do you feel different now, like you know more about how to be famous?”
“Yeah, well...no.” Jade laughed at herself. “I guess I know more about how to deal, personally. I know how to protect myself, how to keep it from getting to me. But I don’t know how I should behave, how to keep the negative spotlight off me. Just look at the mess I’ve gotten you into.”
“Oh no,” said Joey. “The only mess I’m in is my own doing. I’m the one who screwed up that match with Goliath. The stuff with you and me would just be idle gossip if I hadn’t knocked out the champ, who just happens to be your ex-boyfriend.”
“Well, I still feel bad.”
Joey wanted to tell her to forget it, that it was all his doing, that he was the one who had dragged her into the muck. But it wouldn’t be honest. Something about her, about her past with Duke, was dragging Joey down, better, was going to drag Joey down.
“I hate to be nosy,” Joey said, “but I want to hear more about you and Goliath. I feel like I still haven’t heard these secrets you’re so nervous about telling.”
“My goodness Joey Hamilton, aren’t you the bold one? I’ve already told you the big secret. Maybe it’s not as shocking as I think it is, so you didn’t even notice.”
“I guess I didn’t. It’s all been pretty tame.”
“Well, maybe that’s a good thing, I don’t know. The big secret is that I thought I was in love with Goliath, for real. There was a time that I thought my relationship with him was the real deal. And when it ended, even though I ended it, I was hurt. And here I am, with you, in a relationship, are we in a relationship?”
“I think so,” said Joey. “We’re driving between shows together, and I’m hoping that we’ll keep on driving between shows together. I think that’s a relationship.”
“Okay then, I do too.” Jade laughed at the awkward turn the conversation had taken. Joey laughed with her. “Anyway, onward.”
“Onward,” Joey agreed.
“What I’m trying to say is,” Jade laughed again, nervous
ly, “I guess...I don’t want to get hurt again.”
“Okay. That’s fair,” said Joey.
“And, I guess I’m nervous to talk to you about this because...well, I can see myself getting hurt again.”
“What are you saying? Do you think I would hurt you? Because I guarantee you my intentions--”
“No, it’s not that I think your intentions are bad, or that you’d ever want to hurt me. It’s that, if things don’t work out with us, for whatever reason, and I admit I’m nervous about the way things have started, what with our pictures all over the Internet,” she paused, and exhaled, as if tired. “If things don’t work out,” she said, “I think I’m going to get hurt, because I really like you.”
Her sincerity was brutal. It was a blameless indictment of Joey and his secret conversation with Duke. “I like you too,” he said.
An awkward silence took them a few miles before the conversation started again. This time the conversation was about impersonal things, like crummy jobs they’d held before wrestling and stories about their friends. They talked until they reached Albuquerque, four hours later. They checked into the Wyndham Hotel near the airport, where the GWA travel office had reserved rooms for them.
“I show two rooms, one for Joseph Hamilton and one for Jade Wilcox,” said the receptionist.
“Just one room for us both,” said Joey, remembering how Duke had found him in Jade’s room on Tuesday morning. “Is there a way to get both our names on the room?” Joey asked.
“Sure, if you’d like,” said the receptionist.
“We would,” said Joey.