Everywhere and Nowhere

  Hadley sighed. “I have so many questions and I don’t want to ask them because I’m terrified about what it will do to me to hear the answers, how it will change things…”

  Hadrian spun her around in his arms until she faced him. “Listen to me, Hadley. I have known Pettigrews for some time now and you are totally unique. Different from any before you.” He shook his head and for a moment Hadley’s face morphed into another face he’d once stared at every day. Looking at Annabelle had brought him tremendous pleasure, but if he was honest she had not been as striking as Hadley. He supposed he should feel guilty for thinking such things, but the pang in his heart he expected to feel never appeared.

  “Why, because I have a job and interests that don’t pertain to my father or my family? How many children does my mother have?”

  “You and Hailey are eight and nine. Zacharias likes to name after the alphabet. They started with Annabelle, Bethany, Candace, Deirdre, Eugenia, Felicia, Grace and now you and Hailey.”

  Hadley sucked in her breath. “He’s always liked systems, codes, filing. It’s how he keeps track of things. Dear god, he treated us as if we were lab specimens. A through H and then when we’re gone he’ll come up with an I name.”

  Above them, the high-pitched screech of a large bird startled him. Five large hawks roughly the size of small two-person airplanes dipped and dove as they circled above. Hadrian had to smile. It had been too long since he’d seen his birds. Hadley would never have seen any so large except in pictures of prehistoric birds from Earth. He smiled as he glanced down at her face. Her head turned upward as she marveled at the sight above them in the sky.

  The long line of her neck stretched so he could admire her creamy white skin. There was nothing he’d like better than to lean down and bite her there, make her squeal for a few moments before kissing away any discomfort she might feel from the act. They’d dimension-traveled and he still wanted to fuck her more than he wanted to do anything else. Damn duty.

  “Hadrian.” Her mouth hung open as if she might like to say something else but couldn’t come up with the words. Instead she just pointed upward at the circling birds.

  “They’re mine. Or maybe they’re descendants of my flock. I don’t know.”

  His family would have tried to keep his birds alive, keep them breeding and thriving.

  But he would miss the group he’d left behind. One particular bird that he’d named Truffle because of his affinity for killing mice in truffle fields had been particularly talented and devoted to him.

  He’d spent the last two and a half centuries avoiding thoughts like the one that was about to overtake him. He shook his head. There was no time for this. The job wasn’t done yet.

  “My prince.” Stone called his attention and Hadrian glanced at the younger warrior.

  His men were looking in awe at the birds. Hadrian cleared his throat. Evidently now that they were in Haven they were all going to revert back to his title.

  “Yes, Master Stone?” If they were going to be formal, so would he.

  Stone raised an eyebrow, his amused expression shown by the dimples shining on his face. It didn’t matter how old the man got, he would always look ten.

  “Who called your hawks?”

  Hadrian shook his head. “I have no idea, but someone with that knowledge must be aware we are home.” His best guess would be a member of his family had sent them as a means of transportation and greeting. Unless something had changed significantly and others now controlled his birds.

  “Those creatures,” Hadley pointed at the sky and he noted that her voice shook, “belong to you?”

  “Do they make you nervous, Hadley?” The woman pursued giant squid as her profession and she shook at the sight of his birds?

  “I don’t like things with claws. I never have. Give me tentacles, swimming and electric shocks any day of the week.” She tried to smile and failed. It ended up looking like a grimace instead.

  “If you cannot overcome your fear we will have to walk. It will take twice the time.”

  “So not only do those things belong to you but you mean for us to travel with them up there?”

  “You might say they are our alternate mode of travel.” He nodded as he felt himself lifted from the ground by a giant claw. Hadley shrieked but the biggest bird grabbed and secured her. Silently, each of his men lifted off the ground. One of them let out an audible sigh. Hadrian understood that sigh. It felt good to be back, but his job was half done. He couldn’t think of home yet—not until he got the princess and he returned permanently.

  “Now is going to be one of those times when you get to overcome a fear, Hadley. It’s a rare gift in life. Try to enjoy it.” He knew he was taunting her but he couldn’t help himself. Part of him liked to goad her.

  “Drop dead, Hadrian.”

  Chapter Seven

  Hadley had always hated heights. She closed her eyes tightly and silently cursed herself for doing so. Missing opportunities was not something she regularly did and this was a perfect one to get a better look at the landscape beneath them. But hell, she couldn’t do it. No way, no how. The stupid bird that was carrying them and right now had her wrapped tightly in its three claws might decide at any time to drop them, and this time she was sure she would go splat on the ground.

  “So like those deep-dwellers you’re so interested in, you’re more a creature of the sea than of the sky?”

  She reluctantly opened her eyes at Hadrian’s ridiculous question. “I don’t consider myself a creature of anything.”

  Hadrian snorted and she tried not to grin. There was something so disarming about the man when he let his guard down. Clearly he preferred the sky. He’d never been this relaxed the entire time they’d been on the boat, although admittedly he had been kidnapping her at the time. She was relieved that they shared a bird. Even though she liked most of the men she’d met, Hadrian was the only one who intrigued her and then, of course, there was the small matter of how her heart beat faster when he looked her straight in the eyes. And that she’d soaked her panties when he kissed her. She swallowed.

  The wind blew his long black-and-auburn hair from his face and his eyes glistened. She’d always thought they resembled the sea but she could see now that, in fact, they matched the colors of the stars in this dimension perfectly. As the sun had set earlier, she’d been gifted with the sight of millions of green stars. Hadrian turned his head to the side.

  “What are you thinking, Hadley? For a moment I had you smiling. Are you going to vomit?”

  She rolled her eyes. “That’s charming, Hadrian. Thank you for that image.”

  “I got that look off your face.”

  “What look?”

  He stretched and the giant bird shifted its claws to accommodate him better. The man then had the nerve to yawn. “The one that says you’re thinking too hard.”

  “I’m in another dimension, for goodness sake. I’m entitled to overthink things in these circumstances.” She had no idea why she felt the need to justify herself to him.

  “There’s going to be plenty of time to worry.” His eyes clouded over for a moment. “Trust me. But for now, enjoy the breeze and the wonder of this. I started to believe I would never know this small joy again. Now, even if I don’t return from rescuing the princess, I had this moment.”

  She smiled. She still hated everything about this, but she liked the peaceful line of his neck muscles and the way the small lines near his eyes seemed to lessen. Shaking her head, she forced herself to stop considering Hadrian as if he belonged to her. Who cared if most of the time he was stressed? All she needed to focus on was getting to the people who could cure her so she could go back and fix Hailey.

  “This bird here,” Hadrian’s voice broke her from her reverie, “he is either the son or the grandson of one of the birds I had when I left here two centuries ago. I recognize the markings. They’re very unusual.”

  Hadley hadn’t really bothered in her state of shock and distress t
o examine the animal. She looked at it now. The bird, mostly black and white on its head and wingspan, had an array of spots on its back that ranged from blue to red in color. She’d never looked up the subject but if she had to wager a guess, she’d say that on Earth there weren’t blue hawks flying around.

  “So you train birds?”

  He nodded. “Among other things, but yes, hawks are my specialty. It’s why my name starts with H. I was named for the hawks. In fact, that’s why some of my friends called me hawk-boy when I was a kid.”

  “That’s quite a nickname.”

  “Hadrian is my actual name.” The wind picked up around them and Hadrian raised his voice to continue speaking. “We all have an animal here. Only the royals can make them talk but we all have one that is special to each of us. When a baby is born, the parents make a trek to Astor and one of the royals reads the baby’s aura and tells the parent what animal they’re connected to. My parents were told it was a hawk and named me Hadrian to match. My brother’s name is Dragon and my sister is Rabbit. They gave up even trying to be creative, just used the animals themselves. Jeremiah is

  Jaguar and Zamara is the Zebras.”

  “What is Stone?”

  Hadrian narrowed his eyes. “Why are you so interested in Stone?”

  What the hell is he talking about? Hadley sighed. “I’m not following your line of thought, Hadrian. Have I given some sort of indication that I have a preference for Stone?” Had her jumping Hadrian not been obvious enough?

  Hadley struggled to turn around to look at the aforementioned member of Hadrian’s crew. After a moment, the giant bird seemed to get the idea and adjusted its claws so she could see. Stone and three other men were right behind them in another, remarkably even bigger bird’s claws. They chatted away, completely unaware of her focus.

  “You held his hand when you walked down the road.”

  She shrugged. “He offered it to me. I didn’t want to trip.”

  “You could have refused it.”

  “And you say I talk in circles?” Hadley’s head started to spin and she didn’t think it had anything to do with bird travel or heights. “I had no reason not to accept his hand. Is there some rule I should have been made aware of? Have I committed a crime? Can a man not help a woman walk through a rocky, pit-filled road without bringing on the ire of his leader?”

  “You could have held my hand.”

  Was it wrong that arguing with him made her hot? “You didn’t offer it to me.”

  “I might have in another second.”

  Hadley opened her mouth to rebut him but her breath clogged in her throat. Hadrian was jealous. It wasn’t even a question. He was upset because Stone had held her hand and it had bothered him. It was High School 101. Why hadn’t she noticed it earlier? She rolled her eyes. Simple answer, because men, especially men who looked like Hadrian, didn’t get jealous over her. Maybe he was just like this with all women or maybe it had something to do with him being the leader and not liking one of his underlings getting attention he wasn’t getting. Or maybe she’d gotten him turned-on too and he didn’t know what to do.

  The whole thing was so preposterous. She wasn’t interested in Stone, or any other warrior, other than in a purely intellectual, friendly manner. Other than Hadrian, at least, who in addition to irritating the hell out of her made her feel more turned-on than she could ever remember being.

  “Forget it, I’m acting insane.” Hadley was glad Hadrian had said something because she wasn’t sure what she would have done if he hadn’t. Was it appropriate under these very strange circumstances to ask a man if he wanted to go somewhere and fuck really fast to get it out of their systems?

  “It’s very rare, but every once in a while a baby is born who has an affinity toward nature that has nothing to do with animals. Hence Stone’s name.”

  Stones? What could he possibly do with stones? “What use could that be?”

  “I’ve seen him pile them up miles in the sky with merely a thought. It can be useful.”

  “So it’s like psychokinesis then?”

  “Some people say telekinesis, but yes, same idea, only his power only works with rocks. He couldn’t lift and move a book off a table unless it was on top of a rock.”

  Hadley’s mind swirled with the possibilities. How far did this talent of his extend? The earth was made of an outer shell of rock. Could he have removed the outer core of the earth while he was there? How about here? Was it the same? Did he have to learn to control his abilities when he was a child?

  She stared at the ground, trying desperately to see if she could tell if there was a rock surface beneath them, but she was up too high and it was too dark. She couldn’t tell.

  Damn.

  “It’s amazing you find Stone’s ability to manipulate so much more fascinating than my affinity to hawks—you know, living creatures.”

  All right, that was enough. Hadley raised her right eyebrow. “Hadrian, are you jealous?”

  “Yes, damn it, I am jealous and I have no idea why that is.”

  “You’re jealous but you have no idea why.” It was strange. The best-looking man she’d ever seen, let alone known, had just admitted that he was jealous because Stone had held her hand and she’d shown platonic interest in him. Yet Hadrian had no idea why he was upset. The idea that he was so attracted to her that he couldn’t see straight didn’t seem to have entered his mind.

  Was she not his type?

  “You look as if I just hit you over the head.”

  “I don’t suppose you realize that what you just said was incredibly insulting? I know I can’t be anywhere near as beautiful as the women you’re used to being with, but you don’t have to act as if the idea that you might be jealous because of some sort of attraction to me is so completely out of the realm of possibility.” She hated the tears that threatened to spill out of her eyes. She blinked a few times and was pleased when the feeling passed.

  “What do you know about the women I’ve been with? And why would you assume I was insulting you?”

  “Hadrian, you’re not listening.” She didn’t care that now she was shouting much too loudly to be justified by the sound of the wind.

  “I am listening, Hadley, but as usual I have no idea what the hell you are talking about.”

  “No.” She stomped her foot inside the hawk’s claw and the creature screeched. She grimaced. There was no point in hurting the poor thing just because she was ticked.

  “You’re super smart. I can see that about you and I’m not saying someone has to be smart to understand me, not at all. But I think you’d be the kind of person who could understand anything he set his mind to. No one has understood me, not ever. But I think the reason I feel so drawn to you is because I know you can.”

  “That’s just it. I’m not sure I want to understand you, girl. I knew a Pettigrew once, knew her better than she knew herself, and then she was dead, left nothing but ash. I can’t let myself know you—not now, not ever. I hope the royals can fix you, but if they can’t you’re still just a means to an end to me. A means I want to fuck but still only that.”

  Hadrian’s words struck Hadley like a gunshot.

  Over the course of her life she had never felt as used as she had over the last twenty-four hours. It felt as if he’d ripped open her insides. Her father had bred her to conduct some kind of experiment. If she failed the test she’d be dead. And then this man—the most physically perfect man she’d ever seen—had used her to open a portal so he could get home.

  She closed her eyes.

  “I didn’t mean that.”

  She opened her eyes, steeling herself to be unaffected by him. Somehow it had to be possible. “Sure you did. You said it. Don’t patronize me by pretending you didn’t mean every word you said. You don’t want to know me? Fine. I don’t want to know you either, and as soon as this god-forsaken bird puts us on solid ground, I can assure you I will find a way never to be in your presence again. Alive or dead.”

&nb
sp; Hadrian opened his mouth to speak but she never gave him the chance to continue as she wedged herself deep into the giant creature’s claws so she couldn’t see him and, more importantly, he couldn’t see her.

  She’d had enough. Choosing to walk through a portal to another dimension should have given her strength, not made her feel weak…weaker than she had as a child when she’d lain in bed and begged for help with her fever and no one had come. Hadley’s eyes blinked uncontrollably. That entire incident suddenly made more sense. Her father, who she’d always believed loved her as much as he was capable, had wanted to see how she handled illness, how her immune system worked.

  “Hadley.”

  She shrieked and gripped on to the bird for dear life. Hadrian clung to the outside of the claw that held her. One arm wrapped around what she assumed was the hawk’s anklebone.

  “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

  “I can’t leave things as they are. You’re right—I need to take responsibility for what I said. I wanted to hurt you, so I did, but it’s more complicated than that.”

  “First of all, come down from there. I can’t talk to you while I think you’re going to

  fall.”

  He shook his head. “I’m not going to fall.”

  Her heart pounded in her chest. Oh dear, she was going to have a panic attack if he didn’t come down from his perch. “Please get off the poor thing’s ankle and just join me in here.”

  “I would but our transportation seems to be declining to let me in.”

  “What?”

  “The hawk is refusing to open his claws. He’s mad at me because of what I said to you. Maybe you could tell him it’s okay to let me in.”

  “You want me to talk to him?”