Tainted Heartbreak

  As I started to walk past Malcolm, he shot out his hand. Vise-like fingers wrapped around my wrist and squeezed so hard I couldn’t hold back my whimper of pain. Tendons and bones protested, making my entire arm ache as he jerked me around to face him. “You will take the internship, or I will cut everything off.” He lowered his head so his menacing tone could have more effect. “There will be no more visits to daddy dearest to see your snot-nosed little brothers. No little black credit cards. No apartment. No car. No phone. No school.”

  Despite the pain I was in, I shrugged like it wasn’t anything to me. Because it wasn’t. I didn’t want any of it. It was tainted and dirty anyway because it all came from this sonofabitch. I was done letting him rule my life and done being terrified of stepping one foot out of line because he would force me to come back to this hellhole.

  “Go ahead,” I dared him with a smirk. “I don’t care, Malcolm. I’ll get a job. I’ll fend for myself. It’s what I’ve always wanted to do anyway. Anything to get away from you and the ice queen over there.” I tilted my chin up. “Do whatever the fuck you want. Because I’m not scared of you.”

  He tightened his hand, making me wince in pain, and I saw the satisfaction in his eyes. He was a head case. Loved to inflict pain on those weaker than him. It made him feel stronger, more powerful. Not even all his money could give him the pleasure physically hurting someone could. “Try it, little girl. No one in this country would dare hire you by the time I get done.”

  I snorted. “You don’t control everything. I’ll find a job just fine.” I jerked my wrist free, and even though it throbbed to the beat of my heart, I refused to rub it in front of him. “See you never, you fucking bastard.”

  “How are you going to get home?” he sneered. “The car belongs to me, Amara. That’ll be staying here.”

  I pulled my keys from my pocket and tossed them on the floor. “I’ll walk.” Taking out my phone, I dropped it beside the keys and then stepped on the screen. When the screen cracked, I sniggered. “Later, motherfucker.”

  It wasn’t until I was outside in the rain again that I could actually breathe normally. And once I sucked in my first breath, it felt like the world was finally right for once in my life. The weight of the world, and the fear of what Malcolm could possibly do to me, lifted from my shoulders, and I found myself humming to myself as I happily walked away from the nightmare mansion behind me.

  --

  What Malcolm didn’t know was I had some money saved that not even he could touch. Over the years, I’d been putting a little away every week so he wouldn’t notice. I had plenty to get me by even if I didn’t find a job right away. It would cover the cost of my rent and the few bills I had for at least a year. But I didn’t want to have to use it. I wanted a job.

  The next morning, after stopping to get myself a new phone with a new number, I set out on the hunt for one. But Malcolm had already been busy. No sooner did someone hear my name than I got disconnected. Everything from landscaping to fast food to the jobs I qualified for at some of his rival companies. No one dared even to consider hiring me for fear of upsetting the great Malcolm McIntire.

  Refusing to feel discouraged, I sent a text to Cash, letting him know I had a new number and to ask how his flight home the night before had been. The message went unread, so I headed back to the apartment. Riley was just getting ready to go to work as I dropped my apartment key and purse on the entrance table. Her mom owned her a boutique on Rodeo Drive with her own clothing line. Riley had been working for her mother since she was fourteen, and once she had her business degree, her mother was going to give her half the store for her own designs.

  “No luck?” she asked as she fixed her hair in the mirror beside the table, making sure it was perfect.

  “Nothing. No one wants to touch me because of Malcolm. Not even the deli on the corner.” I rubbed at the headache that was starting to form behind my eyes.

  “I could ask my mom if she would consider hiring another assistant. I know you don’t like fashion, but she would do anything for you.”

  I was already shaking my head. “I don’t want to drag your mom into this mess, Riles. I know she would weather the storm that comes with this shit, but I just couldn’t do that to her or you.” I kissed her cheek and then went into the living room to flop face first onto the couch. “Hey, did Cash happen to text or call you?”

  “Nope, sorry. The only person I’ve talked to this morning is Emmie Armstrong, who wanted to check in and see if we made it home okay.” She frowned as she turned to face me. “She seemed concerned about you.”

  My teeth sank into my bottom lip as I remembered the way she’d looked at me outside IHOP. I’d been so ashamed of what she might have seen that, at first, I’d missed the understanding in her eyes. It didn’t make sense to me. How would someone as kick-ass as Emmie understand anything about what I might ever go through?

  “She asked me to remind you, that if you ever needed anything, you just have to stop by her office.”

  I pushed the thoughts away. “Yeah, sure. Thanks.” Standing, I pulled my phone from my back pocket to check to see if Cash had read my message yet or not. Seeing that he hadn’t, I walked into the kitchen. “I’m going to make some lunch then take a nap.”

  There was a mess in the sink, and I knew exactly who had made it and left it for me to clean up after her. “Lindsey!” I bellowed.

  Riley stuck her head in the room. “She’s out. Got a call from that Harden guy she’s been seeing. They went out for lunch or something. Not sure when or if she’s coming back today.”

  I slammed the dirty cereal bowl into the dishwasher. “I am not her fucking maid.”

  “Tell her that, babe.” She waved. “I’m off. See you tonight?”

  “Maybe. I don’t really know. Cash said we were going to dinner, but he hasn’t responded to my text yet. So, who knows. Maybe it really was just a weekend thing.” And that, out of all the other shit I’d gone through over the last two days, was the one thing that had the potential to destroy me. I missed him, more than I ever thought it was possible to miss another human being, and it had only been a little over twenty-four hours since I’d last seen him.

  “He seemed sincere when he dropped us off at the airport yesterday. The guy likes you, Mar. Like, a lot. Give him a few more hours. He’s probably just busy.” With another wave and a kiss blown in my direction, Riley was out the door.

  I decided to take her advice, because he had seemed just as torn up about leaving me at the airport the day before as I was.

  Loading the dishwasher, I finished tidying up the kitchen. Even though I swore I wasn’t going to clean up after Lindsey, she knew I couldn’t stand to have a messy kitchen. Any other room was just fine; it could get as dirty as my roommates wanted it to. But the kitchen was where I ate, and I couldn’t have it even the least little bit cluttered or dirty. The problem was, Lindsey was used to being catered to by the housekeeping staff that worked for her parents, so she knew next to nothing about washing dishes or cooking. That didn’t mean she couldn’t at least fucking try to keep the place looking inhabitable.

  After eating, I took a long shower, hoping to wash away the bruises that were like neon blue and purple signs on my wrist. My entire arm ached, but I knew it was just some bruised muscles and tendons and not actually broken. Sadly, I knew what a broken wrist felt like. Malcolm had done that to me when I was fifteen because I’d mouthed off to him. I was in a cast for an entire summer because of it, but despite the doctor being adamant there was no way I could have fallen and broken my wrist like my mother kept telling him, there had been no social service calls. Just like there hadn’t been so much as a police report when I’d “fallen down some stairs” and cracked two ribs when I was twelve.

  I shuddered at the memories and turned off the shower. Drying off, I pulled on a long T-shirt and a pair of panties and dropped onto my bed with my new phone in hand. My text was still unread, and I let myself pretend that didn’t sting. Cash
had no responsibilities toward me. I wasn’t his girlfriend or even a friend in general. I was just the girl he’d spent a weekend fucking.

  I programmed as many of the contacts as I could remember into my phone. Having an eidetic memory came in handy at times like this. Once I had my dad’s and stepmother’s information programmed in along with my two brothers’, I shot them all a group text to let them know a little of what was going on.

  My dad and his wife lived in Oklahoma. Jane, my stepmother, was a teacher there, and Dad was a roughneck for one of the biggest oil companies in the country. They weren’t rich, but they were comfortable enough. My younger brothers would most likely follow in Dad’s footsteps, but Jane and I both hoped they wouldn’t. After my parents’ brutally messy divorce, and Malcolm had nearly bankrupted Dad, he’d had no choice but to take the only job he could find out of state. The oil company that’d hired him was possibly the only company in the States that wasn’t scared of Malcolm McIntire, and I didn’t have to worry that, whatever happened with me, Dad would lose his job.

  I only got to see Dad for Christmas and the rare trips during summer breaks. I would have loved living with them, would have done anything to have gotten the chance to stay with the only parent who had ever seemed to actually care about me. The custody battle for me had been long and messy. My ten-year-old self had been on the cover of international tabloids until Dad had no other choice but to relinquish his custodial rights to me.

  It was lonely growing up all by myself in Malcolm’s mansion, so when he sent me away to boarding school, he was doing me more than one favor without even realizing it. Boarding school meant I didn’t have to tiptoe around the house and stay under his radar. I could be myself for once. It was also where I met Lindsey for the first time.

  She was my roommate and became a close friend, but we both had learned at early ages not to completely trust anyone or to fully invest your emotions in them. My time in the boarding school only lasted one full school year before Malcolm got bored and brought me home so he could have his punching bag back. Not long after that, I met Riley, and we just clicked.

  I stayed in touch with Lindsey, though, and when she decided on UCLA for college, it seemed like fate had pushed us back together again. The three of us moved in together freshman year, and we’d been besties ever since.

  It was nearly dinnertime before Lindsey came home from her date. She knocked on my door and poked her head in to check on me. “Any luck finding a job?”

  “Nope.”

  “Figured as much.” She came into the room and sat on the edge of my bed, the skirt of her knee-length dress floating around her and settling perfectly. To look at Lindsey, you would think she was a snotty little goody-goody. Which was kind of true. But that was because of her parents and their strict rules. She didn’t step out of line often, and the only thing she had ever done behind their backs was the side job where she made fake IDs. “You having a pity party in here? Or do you want to go out and get buzzed later?”

  “I would totally love to get buzzed,” I told her with a grin. My phone went off with an incoming text, and I picked it up off my extra pillow to see Cash had finally texted me back.

  Sorry, Dreamer. Had a crapload of stuff to take care of today. Still on for dinner?

  “Um, let’s raincheck the buzz,” I told her, feeling my lips lift in a stupid grin.

  “Is this the infamous Cash you told me about last night?” She peeked down at my phone. “Dreamer? He calls you Dreamer?”

  “Yeah, and it melts me every time,” I confessed.

  “So you’re going to bail on me for a guy?” She rolled her eyes and stood, but she grinned down at me. “I get it. I would totally bail on you for Harden.”

  “How’s that going? When do Riles and I get to meet this guy?”

  She shrugged. “When I figure out if I like him enough or not. It’s still early days. We haven’t done more than kiss. But damn, he’s a good kisser. I might have sex with him soon.”

  My eyes widened. “You’ve been seeing him for like three weeks now. Which one of you is holding out?”

  “Both of us, actually. I love spending time with him, but for now, I’m taking my time and seeing if maybe this thing becomes more before I let myself get invested emotionally. And he’s patient with me. Which is really nice. I don’t have some guy hanging all over me, trying to get in my panties. He respects me.” She pushed her blond ringlets back from her face. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

  “Maybe.” I grinned at her eye roll. “Depends on Cash.”

  “Well, have fun. I’ll see you whenever.”

  I waited until the door closed behind her before texting Cash back.

  I could eat. Let me get ready, and I’ll meet you wherever.

  He replied instantly. I’ll pick you up. You have twenty minutes. That’s all I can give you. I feel like I’m losing my fucking mind without you beside me.

  Heart in my throat, I told him I would be ready and jumped out of bed. Glad I had already showered, I brushed my hair, put on a little makeup, and then got dressed. Grabbing my things, I called a goodbye to Lindsey and sprinted down the stairs instead of taking the elevator. By the time I got to the street below, Cash was pulling up in front of the building. I recognized the symbol for Maserati, but that was all I could identify about the four-door car. It was sleek and sexy, but I knew nothing about cars in general to be able to determine much more than that.

  His door shot open no sooner than he had his vehicle in park, and I was throwing myself into his arms as soon as he was standing. “Fuck,” he groaned, inhaling the scent of my hair. “It feels like I haven’t seen you in weeks instead of just yesterday.”

  My arms tightened around his neck, and I swallowed hard to get rid of the lump that filled my throat. “Take me home with you, Cash,” I breathed close to his ear. “I need you. Now.”

  His arms contracted around me, and then he was guiding me around the front of his car and opening the passenger door for me. Once he was behind the wheel, I watched in fascination as his fingers trembled when he put the car in gear and did a quick U-turn that had horns blaring at us. Less than ten minutes later, we were pulling into the garage of his apartment building. I didn’t give him a chance to open my door, hopping out and taking hold of his hand as we sprinted toward the elevators.

  Laughing because my heart was happy, I let him enfold me in his arms, and I met his lips halfway. I didn’t see which floor he pressed, didn’t pay attention to anyone as they got on and off on other floors. All I could see, taste, feel was Cash.

  Chapter 8

  Cash

  Amara shifting against my side had my arms tightening around her, afraid she was leaving me. “Don’t go,” I growled, still half asleep.

  Her soft laugh against my chest heated my skin, and my body was suddenly one hundred percent awake. “I was just turning over, babe.”

  I kissed the top of her head, inhaling the scent of her hair and forcing my body to go back to sleep. I’d let her get very little sleep the night before, and she needed her rest. At least, that was what I told my throbbing dick, but apparently, he’d missed Amara just as much as I had.

  “Mm,” she moaned, feeling my cock pulsing against her stomach. “I love how insatiable you are.” Her fingers wrapped around my shaft and stroked upward. “Cash?” Her voice was softer now, and I lifted up onto my elbow to look down at her.

  Pushing a few locks of burnt-sienna hair back from her face, I stroked my knuckles down her cheek. “What is it, Dreamer?”

  “This is all new territory for me. What I feel for you scares the hell out of me.” She lowered her lashes, keeping me locked out.

  I didn’t like that, couldn’t stand that she was hiding from me after everything we’d been doing together the last few days. Cupping her chin, I lifted her head until her lashes rose and I could see those fawn eyes again. “It scares the fuck out of me too, baby. I don’t do this. When it comes to sex, I’m usually a total bastard. Get in, g
et off, get out.” Her teeth sank into her bottom lip, and I rubbed my thumb over the tortured flesh until she released her hold on it. “This is all new to me. I like you, Amara. You’re beautiful and smart and funny. I’ve only known you a few days, but I can tell you that no one makes me laugh as hard as you do. Or makes my cock throb just thinking about you. Not your pussy or your luscious mouth. Just you.”

  “Cash—”

  I pressed my thumb to the center of her lips, cutting off whatever she might have been about to say. “This is probably too soon. Fuck, I know it’s too soon. But I want to be with you, baby. Goddamn, girl, I spent one night away from you, and I felt like everything in my world was wrong. I want to make this thing exclusive between us. Be my girlfriend.”

  Her breath hitched, and her eyes went wide. “R-really?”

  “I’ve never had one before. I’ll probably suck balls at it, but yeah. I want this. I want you.” I kissed the corner of her mouth, felt her soft sigh, and my cock twitched in reaction. “But what do you want?”

  “This. Us. You.” She gulped, her eyes glazed with emotions. “I like you too. I missed you from the moment you left me at the airport with Riley, and that feeling didn’t go away until I saw you again yesterday. Which is insane, because I don’t miss anyone—ever. I don’t like emotions. It’s scary and sticky, and it causes all kinds of issues down the road. But… But I like you so much. And I’m ready for things to get scary and messy.”

  Her answer made something ease that had been knotted up in my chest, and I grinned down at her. “So, it’s official. You’re my girlfriend.”

  “I’ve never been a girlfriend before. What does that mean, anyway?”

  I kissed her long and slow, until she was squirming against me. “It means I get to take you on dates, and no one but me gets to kiss you. Or touch you. Or lick this perfect pussy.” I cupped her, my thumb teasing over her clit. “It means when something goes wrong, you call me first, and I’ll make it all disappear. And it means you sleep in my arms more than you sleep alone.”