Forever Lucy

  “Appointment… Oh, shit. I forgot about the house.” She let out a tired sigh. “Okay. I’ll get ready. Be careful.”

  “Lucy…” She still sounded off to me, and my heart was racing because I wanted to get home and see her with my own eyes. Wanted to make sure she was okay, that she wasn’t hurting…

  Or hurting herself.

  “I’m fine,” she assured me as if she could read my thoughts. “I haven’t done anything, Harris. I swear.”

  “But you’ve thought about it?”

  There was a long pause on her end before she let out a heavy sigh. “I’m getting ready now. Please drive carefully. I love you.”

  “Lucy…” But there was nothing but silence as the phone disconnected. “Fuck!” I roared and punched the gas as soon as the light turned green. I broke half a dozen traffic laws in my rush to get home. As I hurried, I called Layla to ask her if anything had happened while they had been out for lunch together, but she didn’t answer. Cursing her, I tried Kin’s number next, but it went straight to voice mail without even ringing, telling me her phone was off. Jace didn’t answer either, and by the time I thought of calling Kassa and Gray to beg them to go up and check on Lucy, I was already pulling up in front of our building.

  My heart rate slowed down a little when I saw Lucy coming out the front door. My stomach was still in knots at the look on her face. Her skin was pale, her eyes dry but bloodshot. I couldn’t tell if she had been crying or not, but there was a haunted look in those brown depths that made my hands tighten around the steering wheel.

  She opened the passenger door and stepped inside. “Hey,” she greeted in that same empty tone as she leaned over the console to kiss me.

  I caught the back of her head and deepened the kiss, wanting to put a spark back into her. I kissed her for nearly a full minute before she let out a small sigh and melted into me. Her tongue skimmed over my bottom lip, and her hands fisted in my shirt. Leaning back enough to look down at her, I saw the pink that filled her cheeks and the hunger in her eyes. “There you are,” I whispered and kissed her lips again. “Where did you go, sweetness?”

  Her eyes instantly filled with tears, but she blinked them back. “I don’t want to talk about it. Please don’t make me.”

  I rubbed my thumb over her bottom lip, worry still churning in my gut. “Will you tell me if you want to hurt yourself?”

  “I won’t hurt myself.”

  “But you’ll tell me if you feel like doing something that will hurt you?” I persisted.

  “Yes.” She finally gave in. “I’ll tell you. But I won’t do that.” A small spark of her old fire flashed in her eyes before dying down again. “I’m tired of being broken,” she whispered so faintly I nearly missed it.

  “You’re not broken, Lu. Just cracked a little. But I’m not going to let you fall apart,” I vowed and kissed her one more time. “Now put on your seat belt.”

  “I don’t even want to see this house.”

  “We’ve put them off long enough, sweetness. They all want us to see it, and there’s no harm in just going to look at it.” I caught her hand and entwined our fingers before resting our joined hands on the shifter. “That doesn’t mean we have to buy it.”

  She grimaced. “Yeah, I guess so. It just feels like they’re bullying us with it.”

  I braked for a red light and turned to face her. “Let’s not look at it like that. Turn all of that off. When we get there, I want you to take it seriously. Look at all the things you do like and all the things you don’t. It will make it easier for when we are ready to buy a house.”

  Lucy gave me a small smile. “Okay, babe. I’ll try.”

  I dropped a kiss on her cheek. “Love me?”

  She leaned her head back, staring up at me with love shining out of her brown eyes. The tightness from earlier eased almost completely at that sight. “Always.”

  Nearly an hour later, we were walking through the two-story house that was only five homes down from Liam and Gabriella. That put us only a few blocks from my own parents and just a few miles from Lucy’s. The location was pretty perfect if we wanted to be close to our families. It would mean I would see Trinity more, and the twins could ride their bikes over anytime they wanted.

  The house was a Cape Cod style with five bedrooms, vaulted ceilings, and a gourmet kitchen. The agent had opened every window in the house, so we could hear the waves from every room. The house sat right on the beach but there were a few mountains in the background, so the view from every room was pretty spectacular. There was an outdoor kitchen, as well as a pool and a cabana that had its own bathroom with a spa-like bathtub.

  I fell in love with the house, and I could see Lucy liked it too, but she was too stubborn to give in and admit it. Grinning, I asked the agent to give us a little time to ourselves, and I took Lucy upstairs to the master bedroom.

  “What are we doing?” she grumbled.

  Still holding her hand, I closed the door and then pulled her across the room to the sliding French doors that opened up onto the balcony. The waves were whitecapped below us, and I could hear kids laughing in the distance as they built a sandcastle with their parents. It took me a minute to place the deep laugh I heard, and I realized it was Liam playing with Asher and Piper.

  “Harris,” Lucy complained. “What are we doing?”

  “Shh,” I commanded and pulled her in front of me as we stood on the balcony. “Close your eyes.”

  “I don’t want to.”

  “Just do it, woman.”

  After glaring up at me, she slowly closed her eyes. “There. Now what?”

  “Take a deep breath and hold it in.” Reluctantly, she did it. “Now, let it out.”

  She did, and I felt some of the tension leave her shoulders. “Keep your eyes closed, Lu. Listen to the waves. Imagine our bed just a few feet away and falling asleep to the sound of those waves hitting the beach. Imagine waking up to that sound.” I touched my lips to her ear. “Making love to that sound.”

  She melted back into me. “You have my full attention.”

  Laughing low, I kissed the side of her head. “Okay. Now, you hear that laughter in the distance?” She nodded. “That’s Asher and Piper. But… What if that was our kids down there laughing, Lu? What if we could have what Gabriella and Liam are experiencing right this minute?”

  “That sounds like a pretty great dream, actually.”

  “I really like this house,” I told her quietly. “More than I ever thought I would. And the price isn’t unmanageable. We can afford it easily enough. The kids will go to the same schools we did growing up, and we’ll be close enough to our families that the kids will always have someone to play with.”

  I could feel her giving in, so I shut up and just let her listen to the waves.

  “Fine,” she said with a drawn-out sigh. “Let’s go talk to the agent, then.”

  I turned her in my arms and lifted her until she was sitting on the banister of the balcony. Lowering my head, I teased her with a soft kiss. “You are my favorite person on the planet. You know that, right?”

  She smirked up at me. “I’m just happy to be in your top five, babe.”

  “You will always be my number one, Lucy. Always.”

  Hand in hand, we went back downstairs and found the agent in the kitchen. Her face lit up when she saw the happy look on our faces. “So what did you think?”

  “We love it,” Lucy told her honestly. “And we’d like to make an offer.”

  “Oh…” The woman’s face completely blanked over. “I’m so sorry, but the house has already been purchased.”

  “What!” Lucy cried. “Why the hell would you show us this damn house if it was already off the market?”

  The Realtor licked her lips nervously. “Well, Annabelle Brockman asked me as a favor. The deal for the house was finalized two weeks ago, but she said she would still appreciate it if I showed you the house. The new owners are unable to move in just yet, so they agreed to let me show you.??
?

  Disappointment filled me, but surprisingly, I wasn’t mad. I just regretted making Lucy admit she liked the house so much now that we couldn’t buy it.

  “It’s okay, Lu. At least we know what we’re looking for.” I tried to soothe her on the drive back to the apartment.

  “But you loved that house,” she muttered.

  I caught her hand and kissed her palm. “There will be other houses. Besides, you weren’t really ready to move yet. Right?”

  “I would have for you. I don’t care where we live as long as I get to fall asleep beside you every night.”

  My earlier disappointment completely faded in the wake of those words. “We’ll find the perfect house, I promise you.”

  Chapter 8

  Lucy

  My phone rang as we were on our way out the door. Like I had every day since the last time I’d seen my mom, I stiffened and hesitated to look at the screen. I hadn’t taken any of her calls, and she hadn’t left any voice mails, so I had no idea what was going through Mom’s head. But I knew exactly what was in my own.

  I was sorry for blowing up.

  I wasn’t sorry.

  But I really was.

  I wanted to call and scream at her, because I didn’t understand what was going on with her. Because I felt abandoned by the one woman I had always been able to count on from the time she became my guardian after our mother died.

  I wanted to show up on her front step and beg her just to hug me.

  I wanted her to forget everything I said the morning I’d had to confess my darkest secret. I wanted to erase her reaction from my mind and heart and go back to how our relationship had been before it all blew up.

  I wanted her to give a damn about what was going on with me now. I wanted her to ask if I was okay and realize she was destroying me a little more every time she called and only wanted to talk about that fucking list that seemed to be her only obsession.

  I wanted my mom back.

  The phone didn’t stop ringing, and after Harris gave my hand that held the phone a little nudge, I finally glanced at the screen. It wasn’t my mom, but Kin. She was in Virginia with Jace and the rest of her family for Thanksgiving. Jace’s adopted mother and Kin’s stepdad were hosting the dinner together this year, so they were all on the East Coast for the week.

  Swiping my thumb over the screen, I lifted the phone to my ear. “How goes it?”

  There was a long, frustrated-sounding sigh exhaled into the receiver. “It blows,” she muttered in a half whisper, and I wondered where the hell she was and what the crap she was doing. “Something is definitely up with Alicia. Jace is still being all secretive, and Gray is actually the lesser evil out of everyone right now because things are tense. He’s the only one not giving me a fucking ulcer right now.”

  “Angie and Caleb are even giving you issues?”

  “Ugh, they’re worse than the others. Angie is all pouty about something she won’t talk to me about. And my gentle giant stepbrother is vibrating with rage for some damn reason he won’t tell me about. But he keeps looking at his phone like every five seconds, so I’m wondering if this has something to do with a girl.”

  “I’ll ask Jenna what’s with Angie,” I promised her as Harris opened the door to the passenger side of his car for me. He kissed the top of my head before I got into the car and shut the door. “We’re on our way to Lana’s now, actually.”

  “No, don’t,” Kin urged me. “I don’t know what’s going on, but every time someone mentions Jenna, Angie starts crying. And as much as I want to know what’s going on, I don’t want to upset her more than she already is. We can sort her out when we get home next week. It’s Caleb I’m worried about. He’s out here with Carter more often than with Ange and me, so I don’t really know what’s up with him. I need to focus on him right now, and knowing my stepsister, her drama would take up every second of the day to sort out.”

  “And Jace?” I hesitated to ask. He and Kin argued more often than anything else these days. I was anxiously waiting for the ball to drop with them and Kin to call me to say she’d broken up with him. What I hated the most was that I didn’t know what the problem was so I could fix it for them. Which was tearing Kin apart. She had no idea what was going on with Jace, but at least he had stopped lying to her. Yet, I wasn’t sure what was worse for my friend: the lying or the silence.

  Kin was quiet for a long pause, and I couldn’t even hear her breathing at first. Then she exhaled roughly, and I heard a quiver in her voice when she finally spoke. “Jace is Jace. He tells me he loves me, he kisses me, he loses himself when we make love. But then his phone rings, and he gets this look on his face. He won’t tell me who’s on the phone, and he never takes the call when I’m around. He’s cheating on me. I know it. I can feel it.”

  “Of course he’s not,” I cried, and Harris shot me a startled look as he braked for a red light. “Jace would never cheat on you, Kin. He loves you.”

  “He loves me,” she agreed. “But…maybe he loves someone else too.”

  “No. Jace is a one-woman kind of guy.”

  “I want to believe that,” she whispered. “But…” She broke off, and I heard a voice in the background. “Oh, hey, Alicia. Yeah, I’m coming.” The voice said something else, and Kin’s voice filled my ear clearly again. “Lucy, I’ll call you tonight. I’m helping Alicia and Kassa with dinner, and it’s time to start on the rest of the food.”

  “Kin…” I didn’t know what I was going to say to her, but I didn’t want her to go when she was so obviously upset about Jace. “He loves you, babe.”

  “I know that. And I love him too. But…he’s breaking me, Lucy. And I’m so tired of feeling broken.”

  I didn’t know how to respond to that, because her feelings were so similar to my own the day I’d had the blow-up with Mom that it startled me. Swallowing hard, I blinked back the tears I had yet to shed. “I’m here, Kin. I will always be here.”

  “And I know that too,” she said with a shaky little laugh. “Love you, babe. Talk to you tonight.”

  “Love you, girl. Later.” Dropping the phone in my lap, I turned my head to watch the scenery passing by through the passenger window and fighting my own tears yet again.

  Harris drove silently for several miles, knowing I needed a moment to get myself under control. Reaching across the car, he took my hand and kissed my palm before linking our fingers and resting our hands on the shifter. “He does love her,” he assured me. “And I know it would kill him if he lost her.”

  “But if he doesn’t get his act together, that’s exactly what’s going to happen,” I predicted.

  His fingers tightened around my own. “Jace will smarten up, sweetness. Don’t worry about them right now. We’re headed to your sister’s house and are about to eat my favorite dinner in the world. It’s going to be a good day.”

  I gave him a tight smile. “Yeah,” I said with a nod. But inside, I was silently begging him to take me home. I wasn’t sure if I was strong enough to deal with anyone today, and by anyone, I meant Mom, but also Nat and Aunt Emmie too.

  I was to the point where I was ready to beg Harris just to elope to Vegas and be done with it. If all that mattered to him was that I walked down the aisle to him, then it shouldn’t matter if it happened in a little chapel with some Elvis impersonator officiating.

  But even as the thought swam through my mind—for the hundredth time, no less—I felt a pang of regret. I didn’t want to get married in Vegas. Not without our families. Not without Dad. I wanted to wear my dress, and I wanted Dad to give me away. Those two things kept my mouth shut and from blurting out the plea to elope. I didn’t want to start my marriage off with regrets, and I knew not having Dad give me away would eat at me.

  Lana’s driveway was already overflowing with vehicles when we arrived. Every year, the married women traded off on who hosted Thanksgiving. This year was my sister’s turn, and next year, it was supposed to be Harper’s. The thought of hosting so many people
for a huge family dinner was daunting, but I actually wanted to give it a try. Our apartment was too small, however, so I knew my turn would have to wait until we had a house of our own.

  Harris took my hand once we were both on the sidewalk, and we started up the driveway. Before we could reach the door, it opened, and a herd of wild beasts came out to attack us, followed by Bliss, who toddled behind the bigger kids. Seeing my youngest niece, I scooped her up and started planting kisses all over her beautiful little face.

  “Lu!” she squealed and hugged me as tightly as her chubby little fists would allow.

  “Stop stealing all my kisses!” Drake cried as he tried to wade through all the kids who were still surrounding us but were mostly focused on Harris. “Those are Daddy’s kisses, Bliss!”

  With a giggle, she jumped out of my arms like a little daredevil and straight into her father’s. Drake caught her easily, and I was so used to seeing it that my heart didn’t even jump, but Harris was already reaching out in case Drake didn’t get her in time.

  “You make me nervous, kid,” he grunted to her as he dropped a kiss on the back of Bliss’s head.

  “Wait until you have a few of your own,” Drake said with a chuckle. “They’ll do trapeze off the top of the stairs, and you won’t even blink. You’ll just catch them, and let them do it again.”

  “I want sons,” Harris muttered under his breath to me. “Girls will put me in an early grave.”

  Laughing happily for the first time all day, I glanced down at the beasts still at our feet. “Okay, you brats. Release his legs,” I told Mason and Trinity, who had glued themselves to his legs for a ride.

  “But we want rides,” Mason argued. “Please, Harris? Please, please?”

  Harris bent and pulled his sister off his leg. He arranged her on his back before lifting Mason above his head. “I think you need to take a plane ride, Mas.”

  “Yeah!” he yelled. “Let’s go.”

  With Trinity still clinging to his back and Mason flying above his head, the three of them went into the house. Knowing I’d lost him for the foreseeable future, I turned my gaze on my brothers. Lyric had Heavenleigh on his back just like Harris had his sister, and Luca had Violet on his back. Apparently, all the girls wanted piggyback rides now. Including Arella, who was trying to jump on Nevaeh’s back.