The Man on the Box

  XIV

  AN ORDEAL OR TWO

  Mr. Robert vows that he will never forgive me for the ten minutes'agony which I gratuitously added to his measure. It came about in thiswise. I was on my way down Seventeenth Street that afternoon, and itwas in front of a fashionable apartment house that I met him. He wasseated on his box, the whip at the proper angle, and his eyes rivetedon his pair's ears. It was the first time I had seen him since the dayof the episode at the police-station. He was growing thin. He did notsee me, and he did not even notice me till I stopped and the sound ofmy heels on the walk ceased. Arms akimbo, I surveyed him.

  "Well?" I began. I admit that the smile I offered him was a deal likethat which a cat offers a cornered mouse.

  He turned his head. I shall not repeat the word he muttered. It wasvery improper, though they often refer to it in the Sabbath-schools,always in a hushed breath, however, as though to full-voice it wouldonly fan the flames still higher.

  "What have you to say for yourself?" I went on.

  "Nothing for myself, but for you, move on and let me alone, or when Iget the opportunity, Chuck, I'll punch your head, glasses or noglasses."

  "Brother-in-law or no brother-in-law."

  "Chuck, will you go on?"--hoarsely. "I mean it."

  I saw that he did. "You don't look very happy for a man who has crackedso tremendous a joke."

  "Will you go along?"

  "Not till I get good and ready, James. I've told too many lies on youraccount already not to make myself a present of this joyful reunion.Has Miss Annesley any idea of the imposture?"

  He did not answer.

  "How did you like waiting in Scott Circle the other night?"

  Still no answer. I have half an idea that he was making ready to leapfrom his box. He ran his fingers up and down the lines. I could seethat he was mad through and through; but I enjoyed the scenenevertheless. He deserved a little roasting on the gridiron.

  "I am given to understand," I continued, "that you act as butler,besides, and pass the soup around the table."

  Silence. Then I heard a door close, and saw a look of despair grow onhis face. I turned and saw Miss Annesley and Mrs. Chadwick coming downthe steps.

  "Why, how do you do, Mr. Henderson? Mrs. Chadwick."

  "I have already had the pleasure of meeting this famous young orator,"purred Mrs. Chadwick, giving me her hand. She was a fashionable, not tosay brilliant, _intrigante_. I knew her to have been concernedindirectly with half a dozen big lobby schemes. She was rather wealthy.But she was seen everywhere, and everywhere was admired. She was ascompletely at home abroad as here in Washington. She was a widow,perhaps thirty-eight, handsome and fascinating, a delightful_raconteur_, and had the remarkable reputation of never indulging inscandal. She was the repository of more secrets than I should care todiscover.

  I recall one night at a state function when she sat between the Frenchambassador and that wily Chinaman, Li Hung Chang. She discoursed onwines in French with the ambassador and immediately turned to theChinaman and recited Confucius in the original Chinese. Where she hadever found time to study Chinese is a mystery to every one. Theincident made her quite famous that winter. Brains are always toleratedin Washington, and if properly directed, push a person a good dealfurther than wealth or pedigree. Washington forgives everything butstupidity.

  Not until recently did I learn that at one time Karloff had been veryattentive to her. His great knowledge of American politics doubtlesscame to him through her.

  "Where are you bound?" asked Miss Annesley.

  "I am on the way to the War Department."

  "Plenty of room; jump in and we shall drop you there. James, drive tothe War Department."

  Ordinarily I should have declined, as I generally prefer to walk; butin this instance it would be superfluous to say that I was delighted toaccept the invitation. I secretly hugged myself as I thought of thedriver.

  "How is Miss Warburton?" asked Miss Annesley, as she settled back amongthe cushions.

  "Beautiful as ever," I replied, smiling happily,

  "You must meet Miss Warburton, Grace,"--speaking to Mrs. Chadwick, wholooked at me with polite inquiry. "One of the most charming girls inthe land, and as good as she is beautiful. Mr. Henderson is the mostfortunate of young men."

  "So I admit. She was greatly disappointed that you did not meet heryounger brother." First shot at the groom.

  "I did expect to meet him, but I understand that he has gone on ahunting expedition. Whom does he resemble?"

  "Neither Nancy nor Jack," I said. "He's a good-looking beggar, though,only you can't depend upon him for five minutes at a time. Hadn't seenthe family in more than two years. Spends one night at home, and is offagain, no one knows where. Some persons like him, but I like a man withmore stability. Not but what he has his good points; but he is a bornvagabond. His brother expects to get him a berth at Vienna and isworking rather successfully toward that end." I wondered how this bitof news affected the groom.

  "A diplomat?" said Mrs. Chadwick. "That is the life for a young manwith brains. Is he a good linguist?"

  "Capital! Speaks French, German, and Spanish, besides I don't know howmany Indian sign-languages." Now I was patting the groom on the back. Isat facing the ladies, so it was impossible to see the expression onhis face. I kept up this banter till we arrived at the Department. Ibade the ladies good day. I do not recollect when I enjoyed ten minutesmore thoroughly.

  An hour in the shopping district, that is to say, up and downPennsylvania Avenue, where everybody who was anybody was similarlyoccupied, shopping, nearly took the spine out of our jehu. Everywherehe imagined he saw Nancy. And half a dozen times he saw persons whom heknew, persons he had dined with in New York, persons he had met abroad.But true to human nature, they were looking toward higher things than agroom in livery. When there was no more room for bundles, the womenstarted for Mrs. Chadwick's apartments.

  Said Mrs. Chadwick in French: "Where, in the name of uncommon things,did you find such a handsome groom?"

  "I _was_ rather lucky," replied Miss Annesley in the same tongue."Don't you see something familiar about him?"

  Warburton shuddered.

  "Familiar? What do you mean?"

  "It is the groom who ran away with us."

  "Heavens, no!" Mrs. Chadwick raised her lorgnette. "Whatever possessedyou?"

  "Mischief, as much as anything."

  "But the risk!"

  "I am not afraid. There was something about him that appeared very muchlike a mystery, and you know how I adore mysteries."

  "And this is the fellow we saw in the police-court, sitting among thoselight o' loves?" Mrs. Chadwick could not fully express her surprise.

  "I can't analyze the impulse which prompted me to pay his fine andengage him."

  "And after that affair at the carriage-door! Where is your pride?"

  "To tell the truth, I believe he did make a mistake. Maybe I hired himbecause I liked his looks." Betty glanced amusedly at the groom, whoseneck and ears were red. She laughed.

  "You always were an extraordinary child. I do not understand it in theleast. I am even worried. He may be a great criminal."

  "No, not a great criminal," said Betty, recollecting the ride of thatmorning; "but a first-class horseman, willing and obedient. I have beenforced to make James serve as butler. He has been under the hands ofour cook, and I have been watching them. How I have laughed! Of alldroll scenes!"

  So she had laughed, eh? Warburton's jaws snapped. She had beenwatching, too?

  "I rode Pirate this morning--"

  "You rode that horse?" interrupted Mrs. Chadwick.

  "Yes, and he ran away with me in fine style. If it hadn't been for thenew groom, I shouldn't be here, and the dinner would be a dismalfailure, with me in bed with an arm or leg broken. Heavens! I never wasso frightened in all my life. We went so fast against the wind that Icould scarce breathe. And when it was all over, I fainted like a ninny."

  "Fainted! I should have thought you
would. _I_ should have fallen offthe animal and been killed. Betty, you certainly have neitherforethought nor discretion. The very idea of your attempting to ridethat animal!"

  "Well, I am wiser, and none the worse for the scare.... James, stop,stop!" Betty cried suddenly.

  When this command struck his sense of hearing, James was pretty faraway in thought. He was wondering if all this were true. If it was, hemust make the best of it; but if it was a dream, he wanted to wake upright away, because it was becoming nightmarish.

  "James!" The end of a parasol tickled him in the ribs and he drew upsomewhat frightened. What was going to happen now? He was soon to findout. For this was to be the real climax of the day; or at least, theincident was pregnant with the possibilities of a climax.

  "Colonel, surely you are not going to pass us by in this fashion?"cried the girl. They were almost opposite the Army and Navy Club.

  "Why, is that you, Miss Betty? Pass you by? Only when I grow blind!"roared a lion-like voice. "Very glad to see you, Mrs. Chadwick."

  That voice, of all the voices he had ever heard! A chill ofindescribable terror flew up and down my jehu's spine, and his poresclosed up. He looked around cautiously. It was he, he of all men: hisregimental colonel, who possessed the most remarkable memory of anyArmy man west of the Mississippi, and who had often vowed that he knewhis subalterns so well that he could always successfully prescribe fortheir livers!

  "I was just about to turn into the club for my mail," declared thecolonel. "It was very good of you to stop me. I'll wager you've beenspeculating in the shops,"--touching the bundles with his cane. "Youwin," laughed Betty. "But I'll give you a hundred guesses in which tofind out what any of these packages contains."

  "Guessing is a bad business. Whatever these things are, they can addbut little to the beauty of those who will wear them; for I presumeMrs. Chadwick has some claim upon these bundles."

  "Very adroitly worded," smiled Mrs. Chadwick, who loved a silken phrase.

  "We shall see you at dinner to-night?"

  "All the battalions of England could not keep me away from that festiveboard," the colonel vowed. (Another spasm for the groom!) "And how isthat good father of yours?"

  "As kind and loving as ever."

  "I wish you could have seen him in the old days in Virginia," said thecolonel, who, like all old men, continually fell back upon thereminiscent. "Handsomest man in the brigade, and a fight made him ashappy as a bull-pup. I was with him the day he first met yourmother,"--softly. "How she humiliated him because he wore the blue! Shewas obliged to feed him--fortunes of war; but I could see that shehoped each mouthful would choke him."

  "What! My mother wished that?"

  Mrs. Chadwick laughed. The groom's chin sank into his collar.

  "Wait a moment! She wasn't in love with him then. We were camped onthat beautiful Virginian home of yours for nearly a month. You know howcourtly he always was and is. Well, to every rebuff he replied with asmile and some trifling favor. She never had to lift her finger aboutthe house. But one thing he was firm in: she should sit at the sametable during the meals. And when Johnston came thundering down thatmemorable day, and your father was shot in the lungs and fell with adozen saber cuts besides, you should have seen the change! He was theprisoner now, she the jailer. In her own white bed she had him placed,and for two months she nursed him. Ah, that was the prettiest loveaffair the world ever saw."

  "And why have you not followed his example?" asked Mrs. Chadwick.

  The colonel gazed thoughtfully at his old comrade's daughter, and hesaw pity and unbounded respect in her eyes. "They say that for everyheart there is a mate, but I do not believe it. Sometimes there are twohearts that seek the same mate. One or the other must win or lose. Youwill play for me to-night?"

  "As often and as long as you please,"--graciously. She was very fond ofthis upright old soldier, whom she had known since babyhood.

  It was now that the colonel casually turned his attention to the groom,He observed him. First, his gray eyebrows arched abruptly in surprise,then sank in puzzlement.

  "What is it?" inquired Betty, noting these signs.

  "Nothing; nothing of importance," answered the colonel, growingviolently red.

  It would not be exaggerating to say that if the colonel turned red, hisone-time orderly grew purple, only this purple faded quickly into achalky pallor.

  "Well, perhaps I am keeping you," remarked the colonel, soberly, "Ishall hold you to your promise about the music."

  "We are to have plenty of music. There will foe a famous singer and afine pianist."

  "You will play that what-d'-ye-call-it from Schumann I like so well. Ishall want you to play that I want something in the way of memory totake back West with me. Good-by, then, till to-night."

  "Good-by. All right, James; home," said the girl. James relievedlytouched his horses.

  The colonel remained standing at the curb till the victoriadisappeared. Of what he was thinking I don't know; but he finallymuttered "James?" in an inquiring way, and made for the club, shakinghis head, as if suddenly confronted by a remarkably abstruse problem.

  Further on I shall tell you how he solved it.