Dilemma of a Young Mind
When I visited Guwahati recently, I met my old friend Kanak at his residence. As his both sons were staying outside India for last two years, with his wife he is residing in a four bedroom luxurious bunglow. It is really a beautiful duplex house, can be seen from a long distance. It was around 5 O’clock in the evening and his wife was making herself ready for marriage party. She gave us tea and excused herself for leaving for the marriage party. I also wanted to leave but Kanak told me that he was not going to attend the party as he had to attend another official party, hosted by his boss. Since he was not accompanying his wife and his party time was around 8 in the evening, he requested me to sit with him for some more time.
After his wife left, he offered me a drink and started unfolding a new chapter of his life, which was never shared to me. His story goes like this.
It was a Sarswati puja function at a small village, in 1975 which had changed course of life of Kanak. At that time he was only 13 year old. He was lousy boy, but very intelligent and quite healthy. Function was going on at very lethargic speed; there was long gap between performance of one item to the other. During the intermediate period, Kanak noticed, a pair of beautiful eyes were hovering over his face. He felt a sensation, hitherto he had never experienced. That was, for him, love at first sight. However, Kanak was not sure, whether same feeling was experienced by her. From, that day he loved that girl and he was anxious to know about the girl. After a month or so he was able to know the name of the girl, Aatri, an unconventional name. But Kanak liked it, and whenever he was alone, he used to murmured, ‘I love you, Aatri, I can’t live without you.’
Months came and went, but Kanak could not muster the courage to talk to his lady love. The love story went on without any concrete result. Finally the D had come after two years. Kanak met Aatri in a marriage of a common acquaintance.
By the time Kanak was 15 year old and appeared for the HSLC examination. Aatri also became a blooming girl of 14 ready to mingle. But Kanak hit a road block as he was told that Aatri had been in love with somebody else. It was a devastating news for Kanak. But Kanak had a lion’s instinct, if it is not readily available and if it belongs to someone else, snatch it from the person forcefully/tactfully, whoever he might be. He promised himself, that Aatri must be won over and must be with him within next couple of years. It was a tall promise for him, mainly for two reasons: first, Kanak was not very attractive, but Aatri was extremely beautiful. Secondly, financial condition of Kanak was not very good compared to Aatri and the other boy. Despite of these two major drawbacks, Kanak was hopeful, because of his confidence in his intelligence and oratory skill.
Time passed and exactly after two years, on New Years day, he got a positive response from Aatri. She sent a New Year’s greetings card with the most beautiful sentence ‘I love you. Do you?’ But problem starts from that day only.
Aatri’s father was a classmate of Kanak’s father, who was more intelligent, at least so far academic results are concerned. But unfortunately, due to some differences between some powerful lobbies in the locality, his father was economically not very sound comparatively Aatri’s father. Therefore, Aatri’s father looked down upon Kanak’s father and grand mother of Aatri was also all the way disrespectful of Kanak’s family. Kanak’s family is also not very keen about the blooming relation between Kanak and Aatri. Kanak’s mother warned him about the girls of that family, as they traditionally leave their lovers and marry someone else selected by their parents.
But somehow, their love affairs lingered on for a few years. But when Kanak came out of Assam and started his academic career at Delhi he was attracted to another beautiful girl. The girl did not respond to his proposal, but somehow the girl’s indomitable attraction became the first thaw in Kanak’s relation with Aatri.
During his vacation, when he visited Aatri’s home, he was misbehaved by her father and some derogatory comments were passed by her grand mother. He did not retaliated then and there, but after reaching Delhi he severed his relation with Aatri for ever.
After few months, Aatri was married to a person known to Kanak’s family(but unknown to Kanak) , who was much older than Aatri. Exactly one year after Aatri’s marriage Kanak also got married to a better looking girl from a better family. No, not with that Delhi girl, though their love affairs also blossomed upto some extent. This girl also got married to some one else. For Kanak, love affair is like a public city bus, neither it waits for you, nor you will get none if you miss one.
Time passed like an arrow. By the time, Kanak climbed to a very high position in the Government. He earned a name for himself. Money , power and reputation, all came to him in last 28 years. He has been blessed with two brilliant sons. Both of them passed out from reputed engineering colleges and they also joined services in reputed organisations. His wife maintains a very good physique till now. She is also good manager, both at family front or social front. Kanak always thanks his stars for having such a beautiful wife.
But history repeats itself once again.
Kanak’s elder son, Priyangshu is presently working in an IT firm located in Ireland. A few months back, he sent a photograph of a young lady, with a caption, ‘ She is Bobita-your daughter in law-to be’. The girl is also working with his son as an IT engineer. They fell in love with each other on their first meeting. One thing intrigued Kanak that, the girl has a very familiar face for Kanak. But Kanak could not recollect, where he met this girl. Neither, Kanak nor his wife objected to the affairs, as they thought, at least his son opted for a girl whose parents are residing in Assam. Kanak asked his son to send the address of the parents alongwith the phone numbers so that he could contact the parents of the girl.
After getting the phone number, Kanak telephoned the father of the girl. Instead of a cordial response from the other side, he got a rude answer, ‘You son of a swine, how dare you to ask my daughter’s hand for that rascal. Tell that bastard, we shall better die but will not allow her to marry that bastard.’
Kanak could not understand why the father of that girl was so rude and refused to marry his daughter to his son.
Kanak, after digesting the humiliation, after an hour or so, telephoned to his son to ask him to sever his relation with that girl. But his son’s reply was more shocking. ‘I know he(Bobita’s father) will oppose to our marriage. May be, you would have also opposed. That is why we got married two months back after we got to know that Bobita is carrying my child in her womb. Further, you might be aware that law of Ireland does not allow any abortion.’
For a moment Kanak could not find a question or an answer what his son is saying. After a few seconds, Kanak murmured, ‘why?’
‘In the eyes of their family, you are the culprit for parting with your relation with my mother in law. You ditched my mom in law when you were in the university. My Father in law always suspected the character of my mother in law. There were lot of fights which Bobita had witnessed during her childhood. Bobita has a elder sister, who is yet to be married. That might have also fuelled his anger when you telephoned.’
Kanak hung the telephone for few minutes. He recalled good 28 years ago when he overheard Aatri’s grand mother was yelling to Aatri’s mother, ‘If y give your daughter’s hand to that bastard, I shall commit suicide.’ Kanak pondered, ‘Nothing has changed, except, now a days boys and girls are smarter than our times.’ Next moment, he thought, ‘Can I discuss the matter with my wife or not? How she will react? I have never mentioned about my first love during last 28 years. What Aatri was suffering for last 28 years, will my wife suffer rest of my life? Already in the eyes of my son and daughter in law, I became a villain. But can I blame me for everything , what had happened at that time or today? Was it not true that Aatri’s family humiliated me many times before the final break up? Should I not react, Aatri’s grand mother uttered something derogatory about my father and my family?’
So far Kanak has not discussed the matter with anybody except me. His wife is in a very good mood for last few months that
his son going to marry an Assamese girl even after staying in foreign soil for more than two years.
I saw in the dim light, Kanak’s pale face asking for some consolation from me!
Chapter 4: Problem of a Young Boy