Dilemma of a Young Mind
I met this young girl, Namita in 2004 as an intern, when I was a middle level officer in my organisation. At that time she was hardly 22 year and I was in my early forties. She was very beautiful and boy would like to fall in love with her. But she was more beautiful in her mind than her external beauty. She was ready to help anyone in the office in his/her office not only in official works but also in personal works. She became darling of the entire office except her boss who did not like her helping attitude for one and all.
One day she was in a very sad mood which was against her normal mood, always smiling and glowing. I asked her, what was the matter. Reluctantly, she told me that, that on this day she lost her parents in a road accident few years back. That was a news for me, I could not realise that a ever charming girl had a so traumatic past. On my insistence, she told me that she lost her parents in a road accident, when she was in class eight and her brother, Varun was in class three. On that fateful day, her parents left both the children at home to meet the ailing grandfather, who was living at their ancestral house at Meerut. While coming by their Maruti, hit a standing truck, which her father could not see due to heavy fog. Her mother died instantly, but her father, who was driving the car did not die immediately but succumbed to his injury after ten hours at a hospital at Delhi. Before his death he told Namita to look after her brother and told her to spend money judiciously and warned her not to believe any of their relatives as they might be after their property and money only. He named some friends and colleagues, where he worked to seek advice/help whenever she felt for it. Though many of her relatives came forward to help them(with ulterior motives as predicted by her father), she did not take any help from them. She remembered the father’s advice and believed the friends and colleagues of his father who actually helped the children selflessly. That is the basic reason why she is always positive about office people.
Namita’ maternal grandparents died few years ago and Namita’s mother being the only child, there was no close relative from mother’s side. From father’s side a number of close relatives were there, but once they came to know that they were not going to get any slice of money left behind by Namita’s father, they vanished to the thin air. With family pension and gratuity money they (Namita and Varun) were financially comfortable. But they did not have any emotional support after the death of their grandfather who died after one year after death of Namita’s parents.
Life was not very easy for the children. But due to internal strength of Namita, they were pulling their life steadily. In 2003, Namita completed her BA honours in English and her brother had been admitted into an Engineering college.
Even after completion of her internship she continued to keep contact with me through e-mail and over phone. Sometimes she visited our office, though it was rare.
Over the time, we have developed a bond which is beyond official relation. I started treating her as a lovely young sister of mine and she also took suggestions from as if I am her elder brother.
Time passed very quickly. In the meantime she got a job in a Polish farm as an HR consultant and her brother also passed out from his college. Her brother was a brilliant boy and cleared his GRE with very good marks. Subsequently, he left for USA for his higher studies in 2009. Namita had to take a huge education loan for higher studies of her brother.
Everything was fine till 2010. But from 2010, Namita became untraceable for me. Whenever, I tried to contact her over phone, the mobile was switched off for first few months and then somebody else had been allotted that number. When I tried to contact her through e-mail, emails were never responded except once wherein she requested me not to try to contact her. So I had stopped trying to contact her for last three years. Though these developments hurt me, I could not blame her due to unknown reasons but I was little worried about her wellbeing.
A few days back, I got a call from her requesting to spare some time on the next day for a lunch together. Though I was surprised to get the call from her, without showing any annoyance, I agreed to her proposal and decided to meet her over lunch at a particular restaurant.
In the next morning, when my wife was about to pack my lunch, I told her about our lunch programme, she was surprised and advised me not to over react to her and if she asks for some help, those should be acceded. Though my wife is a known miser, she was always very considerate to this girl knowing about her past.
Finally we met at our designated place. On seeing me she ran like a five year old girl, ran towards me and embraced me tightly for long time and tears rolled over her cheeks. I also could not stop my tears. After, controlling our emotions we started our talk over our lunch.
In last four years Namita had to travel through the hells. In 2010 due to recession, she had to lose her job. She had to spend all her savings while sending her brother to USA. She did not have any money to repayment of EMIs against the education loan. For not paying EMIs the burden was also going up and up. At one point of time she was in a position that she did not have sufficient money to meet the bare minimum needs. I interrupt at this point, ‘Why did not approach me at that time? What about your brother, did not he get a job?’
‘He did not get a job immediately after passing out from his college. However, now he has a job and somewhat settled. I did not tell you because, I know your liabilities at that time. How can I give more trouble to you, when you had enough to handle! Moreover, it was not a problem for one day. I need a solution on a sustainable basis.’ She explained.
Luckily she got a job in a local farm. Though the remuneration was not as good as the earlier one, yet it was enough to meet her needs. However, the salary was not enough for repayment of education loan which was piling up day by day. At first, they sent reminders for repayment and after that they sent goons to threaten her. Having threatened she discussed the matter with her employer to give a short term loan. The employer promised a loan and told her to meet after the office hours. Having no choice, she met the employer after office hours. The employer handed over her a packet of currency which could cover six months’ EMI and additional interest levied for late payment. For a moment she thought that her employer was next to God, but her dream shattered at the next moment, when he gave the most indecent proposal in her life. She resisted, but no one was there to help her. Initially she thought she will throw the packet of money to the employer and report to the police. But she thought that, it would not help her anyway.
The employer again approached her. This time, Namita negotiated the deal in her own terms.
She realised in a few months, a person who do not want to give ten rupee note to a beggar, is ready to spend few thousand rupee for one/two hours only to be with her. Money started flow like a flood water, she was able to repay the entire loan amount before the scheduled time. Some time she had some guilty feeling, but next moment, she thinks, she has not cheated anybody, like her clients, who cheat their wives and family members. Her role is like a butcher, who kills animals, not for self consumption but for his customers. If anybody commits any sin, it is not she, but her customers.
Life was running smoothly till she met Anup who is young businessman. He is married to a lady whom he never loves. Their unhappy relation leads to landing of Anup at Namita’s doorstep. She took him also as a normal customer. But after two to three meetings, she realised that Anup is different from other customers. He heard her story and he became sympathetic to her. One day he told, ‘I would have married you, but due to some business compulsion, I can not divorce my wife. But if you want to come out of this dirty business, I may help you.’ Initially Namita was apprehensive, but after last six months’ courtship convinced Namita that proposal offered by Anup is genuine and honest.
Anup convinced Namita that so long she will be in India, she can not come out of the life of a prostitute as her customers will never allow that. The society where we live always castigates the victim not the perpetrators. Therefore, Namita has to be far away from this society. Her customers are so powerful that anywhere i
n India is not safe for her. Anup assured her to arrange a job for her outside India and after that, she will decide her future with or without Anup.
Last month Anup was able to arrange a job in England for her, may not be a very good one, but a decent one. She intends to leave India for ever as suggested by Anup.
She is leaving India tonight, if possible for ever. She is meeting me to say a final good bye today.
‘Are you going to keep any contact with me?’ I asked her.
‘Yes, if I shall be able to lead a decent life there, I shall inform you time to time. Otherwise please think that your little sister is no more!’ She replied with a sigh.
‘I am not at all concerned about you, when you are not in trouble, for that matter when you will be in a decent job etc. But I shall be worried only when you are facing any trouble in your life. I shall be very happy, if you can lead your life as you are dreaming now. You need not have to be in contact with me when everything is fine. But, if you again fall into the trap of bad people, you please contact me, you will find your poor brother standing behind you.’ I tried stop my tears while speaking.
Before leaving me, she hugged me and cried like a little girl and then she left. I looked at her till she disappeared behind the wall. I may not see her again in my life, but my love, best wishes and blessings will be always with her. She may be a prostitute for others, but for me, she will be remain my little lovely sister!!!!
Chapter 9: My Dream