Coming Undone

  She handed the phone to her daughter and sighed deeply as she moved toward the rest of the laundry she needed to put away. It was a relief on so many levels to have that off her chest. To be able to share this with her parents. But on the other hand, she heard the anger in her mother’s voice, had heard the barely disguised rage in her father’s. She was done with all the violence and the threats, she simply didn’t want her parents to be affected by the cancer the Sorensons were.

  It was bad enough Rennie had to have a phone call from them once a month. It was more than generous, considering all the things they’d done, and in the end she continued to hope they loved Rennie enough to try. But she knew in her heart of hearts that it wouldn’t last. They’d come after her again, so the longer she was established in Seattle, the more she grew roots in the community, the more Rennie thrived and the longer Elise adhered to the rules of the agreement, the better off she’d be when they finally decided to act again.

  “Pops told me to tell you I deserve a Fudgeicle,” Rennie announced as she came back down to hang up the phone.

  “Fudgesicle and why am I not surprised? Your grandfather’s love of Fudgesicles is known far and wide.” Elise rolled her eyes but rewarded herself and Rennie with one each.

  10

  “Oh, there you are!” Erin jumped up from the picnic table and headed toward Elise and Rennie. Rennie, spotting Nina on the swings, gave Erin a hit-and-run hug and headed off toward her friend.

  “Hi there!” Elise was surprised but pleased when Erin hugged her and dragged her toward the table.

  “Sit and eat. Brody will be right back. He and his team have gone off to do whatever they do before the game. I suspect shots of liquor are involved. Probably porno magazines and stories of conquest. Or whatever they do when we’re not around.”

  “More like sitting around, eating wings and drinking beer. Porn may be involved though.” Maggie sat and put a bottled water within Elise’s reach.

  Erin laughed. “Oh, they’re all so badass. Big bad cops and tat artists and stuff and they’re all whining about their knees.”

  Elise grinned and dug into the bag of cookies after realizing she hadn’t eaten much all day. Rennie played on the swings just to the left, so it was easy to chat, munch and watch the kids.

  All the chatter faded into background noise when Brody came into view with several other men. His gaze immediately sought her, locked in as he strode toward her.

  “Hey, you made it.” His voice, that low, darkly sweet rumble, brought everything to attention.

  “I did. How were the wings and porn?”

  He looked straight to Erin and the women dissolved into laughter.

  “All quite spicy, thanks.”

  Her phone started ringing. The cell she had just for dealing with the Sorensons. She sighed, digging it out, and sent a look to Rennie before getting up. “Excuse me, please.”

  She stepped a few feet away and answered.

  “Hello?” She barely resisted the urge to answer with Why the fuck are you calling again, you bitch?

  “It’s Bettina Sorenson. You sound harried and scattered as usual. No discipline or drive. So middle-class. Since you’re making me call you, yet again, please tell me why hasn’t my granddaughter returned any of our calls.”

  And then she regretted her restraint. As if she didn’t know who the bitch was. “You know very well why. You have a scheduled phone visit once a month. I’ll have her by the phone on the fifteenth at the right time.”

  “You’re difficult. Always have been. I told Ken that, but he had to have you. As if there weren’t a thousand girls more suited to him. You’ve always tried to keep her away. You don’t deserve her.”

  “We’re done now. Do not call my family again about this. If you have a problem, you know my attorney’s number. Deal with him.”

  “Your precious parents! Look at what they raised.”

  “I’ll be sure to pass that on to them, and we’ll try not to roll our eyes so hard we sprain something.” She reined in her anger. There was no point in letting this woman get to her. She also had no idea if they recorded her, so she remained careful with what she said.

  “Dude, what’s that all about?” Erin asked Brody, who shrugged but watched Elise’s body language change, tighten up. “I don’t like it, Brody. Look at her. Something is wrong.”

  “Let’s get playing!” Ben called from their makeshift field.

  “Wait a minute.” Brody motioned at Elise, and concern crossed Ben’s features as they took her in. She paced, her free hand flapping around. “You can start without me. I’ll be there in a bit.” He moved toward Elise.

  “I’m going to say it again just so we can be very clear. You have no right to call my parents. You have no right to call me on any day but the fifteenth at six p.m. Pacific time.”

  She paused, her jaw clenched.

  “No, you don’t understand. You make her upset every time you call. She has a schedule. A life. You can’t interrupt it and I won’t let you. I’ve spoken to my attorney about this. Stop now.”

  Her brow furrowed as she listened to whatever whoever it was on the other end said.

  “I’m done. I’m hanging up now. Do not call again until the fifteenth.” She flipped the phone shut and shoved it in her pocket.

  The shoulder he put his hand on trembled and her eyes shone with unshed tears. He tipped her chin up. “Are you all right?”

  She shook her head. “I’m just really, really angry. I can’t talk about it right now. Rennie might see. Go and play. I’ll be together in a minute.”

  He pulled her into a hug, and the tremor in her shoulders echoed through him as though it were a sob. “I’m going to hug you first. Then I’ll play and take you and Rennie out for pizza afterward. Even better, we’ll order in and have root beer floats. Root beer floats are made of win.”

  A ghost of a smile played on her lips. “No wonder you and Rennie get along so well. But you shouldn’t worry. You’re going to want to be with your friends. I’m all right.”

  He kissed her forehead. “You and Rennie are my friends. Now go sit down and be impressed with my athletic prowess.” Keeping his arm around her shoulder he guided her back to the table, and then ran off to the field.

  Erin handed her a cookie. “Looks like you could use one of these. I have a candy bar in my bag, wanna share it?”

  Elise took the cookie and ate it, shoving her anger away. She’d become such a champion at shoving her anger away, at pushing it aside to get the job done, that she wondered about the effect it had on her body. And her mind. Still, right then it wouldn’t do her any good and it certainly wouldn’t help for Rennie to see it. “I’m good for now. I’m apparently having pizza and ice cream with Brody after this, so I’ll eat too many carbs then.”

  Erin raised a brow and Elise wanted to laugh. “What?” After several silent moments, Erin said, “Nothing. He does that to me too. When I’m having a hard day. He used to show up at my house with a fully loaded pie, a six-pack and some horrible movie with screaming and gratuitous nudity in it. He’s a good friend to have. Or more. Or whatever.”

  Elise did laugh then. “You’re not very subtle.” She winced as Ben tackled Todd. “Oh, ouch! I thought this was flag football.” “Yeah, it is. But with tackling.” Maggie looked back to the game again. “Hey! Don’t break anything, I need him in one piece,” she called out.

  The kids made their way over, and Rennie settled in Elise’s lap, eating cookies and clapping for Brody. It was wonderfully normal, and Elise sent a prayer of thanks that they had days like this now.

  After the children had eaten their fill, they headed back to the swings and Erin turned back to Elise. “So when you toured before, did you bring Rennie with you? I’m curious. We brought Adele— that was my little girl—along on tour, but her father was our manager, so that was easy enough.”

  “My mother came along with us. She’d keep Rennie occupied while I was at rehearsals and on stage. I did have a nan
ny once, but Rennie and her gran are pretty tight, so neither of them liked it much. My mom had to fly to Australia to take over.” Elise laughed at the memory. “I thought about quitting, but it was a steady source of income, and for a lot of the year I’d be in New York or a few hours’ train ride away.” She knew how much her parents had supported her; she’d have been lost without them.

  “There are worse ways for a child to grow up than hearing a live orchestra on a regular basis,” Maggie said.

  “She was all about the costumes. Even when she was just a baby. Anything with sequins or feathers would catch her eye. She wanted to learn en pointe so she could have toe shoes because they’re satiny and so pretty.”

  “Is she all set to follow in your footsteps, then? With dancing?” Erin asked.

  “She likes dance, but she doesn’t love it so much she’s willing to live it. Which is fine with me, really. The kind of schooling she’d need if she really wanted to pursue dancing professionally would mean a lot less time together for us. She’s not focused in the way she needs to be. But she’s really artistic, it comes from both sides for her. Painting and drawing are more her thing than dancing. Watching her paint is an experience; she’s all movement and color. Her father was a painter, but he was her polar opposite when he worked. He went inside himself so deep he’d stare at a canvas for hours without moving. She’s talking and dancing around, singing. She announced to me yesterday that she needs a studio of her own.”

  “Where was her father during all this? Staring at a canvas while you did all the work? God, sometimes men are such lazy assholes. They can spot a doormat a mile away. He had your number,” Raven said.

  Elise looked at her and wondered what her deal was. It wasn’t that she was deliberately hurtful. But she seemed to just say whatever she wanted whenever she wanted without a thought. It wasn’t cute. It rubbed Elise the wrong way. Part of that, she could admit, was that Raven clearly had some kind of connection to Brody. But just because you could say anything you wanted at any time didn’t mean you should. Or that a little bit of thought before you spoke wasn’t in order.

  “Wow, Raven, did you forget to take your manners pills this morning?” Maggie asked.

  “She doesn’t mean to sound like a bitch. She just seems to lack filters,” Erin explained of her friend.

  “Was that rude? Clearly there’s a father if there’s a kid. I just thought I’d join in on the conversation.” Raven truly did look confused, and Elise eased back on her anger. Still, Raven just wanted to know, so Elise decided to school her some.

  “There was a father in as much as I had sex with a male who donated his sperm. In the whole of her life, she’s probably only spent a total of a week with him. He was in county jail when she was born. In the end, it’s a far better thing that I had to do much of Rennie’s child-rearing myself.” Elise hoped like hell all Rennie got from her father was his artistic talent.

  The smirk on Raven’s face fell, and Elise felt a stab of satisfaction. “Oh. Wow. I’m sorry.”

  “Me too.”

  Erin paused and sat forward, grabbing Elise’s hands. “That wasn’t him on the phone just now, right? If so, you need to record it and call the cops. Todd and Ben used to be cops, they know folks you can talk to. Or let Brody answer the next time. He’ll set that fucker straight.” Erin shook her head. “I hate abusers.”

  Ah yes, a reality check. After that call from Bettina it was hard to do. Things could be so much worse. It could be Ken, high and paranoid, screaming into the voice mail that he loved her and would kill her and Rennie so they could all be together. Compared to that, dealing with Bettina was a walk in the park. Besides, she’d gone head-to-head with Bettina and had won. Her child was out of their clutches. Even the phone calls could stop after Rennie turned ten, if Rennie so chose. They’d still controlled Elise to a certain extent as they played this little back-and-forth. But it was a waiting game and she’d do what she had to to be free of them forever.

  Elise breathed out slowly. “No, it wasn’t him. He can’t call anyone, he’s dead.”

  “Oh.” Erin started to say more, but just then the game ended and chaos broke over the group as the guys came off the field and the kids ran over and the area overflowed with good-natured trash talk and lots of jostling and laughter.

  Rennie headed not for her mother, but to Brody, who tossed her the ball, and she caught it before he gathered her up into his arms. The two of them laughed, and Elise realized she wasn’t the only Sorenson female to have made friends with Brody.

  He reached them, and Rennie scrambled from his arms, barreling toward Elise. “Momma! Brody says he’s gonna get a pizza and we can all eat it in his living room! He said we could sit on a blanket on the floor and have a pizza picnic and he’d make root beer floats. Brody is totally awesome, he even invited Nina!” Rennie’s eyes were wide, her face flushed, her hair a disheveled mess.

  What a nice man he was. Nina and Rennie both seemed ecstatic about the whole thing. “Brody is totally awesome, you’re absolutely right.”

  Rennie threw her arms around Elise’s neck and kissed her cheek. “Momma, can Nina stay over tonight? I’m asking real quietly in your ear instead of asking in front of her and I got all my spelling words right this week. Can she, please?”

  Elise nodded. “Yes. But let’s okay it with Nina’s mom too.”

  Nina giggled and Maggie nodded. “You sure? They could come to our house tonight. We’re not going to the barbecue anyway.”

  “I’ll do it this time, you guys next time. How’s that?”

  “You have a deal.” Maggie looked down at the girls. “Let’s go get Nina’s pajamas and toothbrush. I’ll bring them to your place in a few minutes?”

  “Great. I’m on my way now. Be good for Miss Maggie, okay?” she asked Rennie, who nodded solemnly and then danced around, singing about crocodiles and monkeys. A sleepover? She was having an extra piece of pizza for this.

  Elise looked around Rennie, up into Brody’s face, and smiled. “I’m sorry about this. My house would probably be better since Nina is staying over.”

  “Makes sense. Next time we’ll do it at my place. I just need to stop off at my house to grab the root beer and ice cream.” He grabbed his bag and pulled a sweatshirt over his head.

  “You sure you aren’t supposed to go to that barbecue? Maggie mentioned it. I don’t want you to babysit us instead of being with your friends. And you did just think it would be me and Rennie. Two six-year-olds together? Whoo. You’re going to have a headache when you leave.” She laughed and sent an affectionate look at her daughter trailing off after Maggie.

  “I’ve already told you, you are my friend too. I’ve known Nina since she was born, and Rennie and I are friends now. You three ladies are my dates for the evening. Imagine the kind of brag that’ll allow me.” He winked. “Now, come on.” He began to tug her toward their street. “Honestly, I don’t even want to go to this barbecue. It’ll be loud and people will be drinking from plastic cups and tapping kegs. I want a quiet night.”

  “If you’re sure.”

  “I’m sure I wish we had about ten more minutes, because you look good enough to eat,” he said in a low voice that sent shivers through her.

  “Instead you get squealing and giggling.”

  “And pizza. Don’t forget pizza. Anyway, this isn’t my first slumber party. I raised Erin through her teen years.”

  Brody sat back and watched how Elise was with the girls. Neverending patience, kindness, a vein of whimsy he hadn’t imagined she possessed. She laughed as she helped him make root beer floats, she knew card tricks and she knew how to kick some serious ass on the PlayStation.

  She was so very capable, which was beyond sexy. In his deepest heart, he could admit he found it sexy because she took care of her own shit. He didn’t have to be responsible for her. She didn’t need taking care of, though he did like it when she shared parts of her past with him.

  He could enjoy her. He could enjoy their frien
dship and whatever else they had. He liked her, respected her. She was something he’d never really brushed up against before, so exotic and beautiful to his eye, to his heart.

  And that kid of hers, wow. Irene was such a spot of sunshine. Bright, happy, loving. Whatever put that fear in Elise’s eyes, she’d done something spectacular in shielding that little girl from it.

  “You girls need to go upstairs and get ready for bed.” Elise looked at the girls with a smile. “I’ll be up in ten minutes to read a story, so pick one.”

  “Good night, Brody!” Rennie bounced over and gave him a hug, followed by Nina.

  “Night, you two. Thanks for hanging out with me and your mom tonight.”

  Rennie fluttered her lashes at him, and both girls giggled as they ran upstairs.

  “She’s something else. Amazing kid you’ve got there.” He looked up and caught the pride on her face.

  “I don’t really have much to do with it. She’s been this way since the moment she came into the world. I’m lucky to have her.”

  “You want to talk about that call today?” He watched her carefully, not wanting to push too hard.

  “I need to deal with them first. I can’t unpack that wound just now.” She put her hands on her hips, and he saw the cracks in her façade.

  “I’ll be down in a few minutes, if you want to wait around. I can’t, well, I don’t think tonight is the night for anything naked.” She quirked up a smile. “But your company is nice and I like to look at you.”

  He laughed. “I’ll be here. Unless you need my help up there?”

  “Nah. They’ll be hard enough to wrestle down. In fact, I’m guessing they’ll be up most of the night.”

  “Okay then. I’ll be here.”

  “Help yourself to whatever.”

  He watched her leave the room and liked what he saw. A lot.

  “Oh man, I’m so full I may have to be rolled back to my house,” he said after she came back down half an hour later. He’d made himself another root beer float and settled in on her very comfortable couch.