The Fame Game

  Madison didn’t open the dresser toward the back of the room, but she didn’t need to. She knew what was in there, nestled in the top drawer: a soft form, its synthetic fur faded and slightly matted, its horn drooping. She felt silly for keeping it all these years.

  But, said a nagging voice in the back of her mind, what if he meant what he said? What if there really were letters? Did that really mean nothing?

  Almost without thinking, Madison pulled her BlackBerry from her pocket and punched in her mother’s number. It rang for a long time, and Madison was just about to hang up—probably Sue Beth had lost her phone one night at a bar—when her mother answered.

  “Hello?” Sue Beth’s voice sounded weary and old. But not drunk: surprisingly sober.

  “Mom?”

  “Who is this?”

  “It’s Madison.”

  “Madison . . . ?” Her mother sounded confused.

  “Mom, it’s Madelyn.” She tugged on one of her platinum extensions. It had been years since she had heard her mother’s voice.

  “Nice of you to finally call,” Sue Beth said, not unkindly. There was a long pause and Madison knew her mother was taking a drag on a Parliament cigarette. “I’ve seen you on the TV. You look really nice.”

  Madison’s heart clutched with that comment. A compliment was not what she’d expected. “I wanted to tell you that we heard from Charlie,” she said. She waited for a response, but none came. “Mom, you still there?”

  “I’m here,” her mother said. “What exactly do you want me to say? It’s not nice to speak ill of a girl’s father, even if you think he’s a lying rat bastard.”

  “Right,” Madison said. “I just didn’t want you to be surprised when you saw it on TV—when you see him on the show, I mean. I didn’t ask him to come here. He just showed up. Well, after Sophie reunited with him during rehab. You knew Sophie went to rehab, didn’t you?”

  Her mother sighed. Or maybe it was just an exhalation of her cigarette. “Yes, Madelyn. I may not have been mother of the year, but I did know that Sophie was in rehab. In fact, I spoke to her several times while she was there.”

  “You did?”

  “I did,” Sue Beth said.

  “Wow, if I’d known the fastest way to get my parents’ attention would be to crash on booze and drugs maybe I would have tried it,” Madison said drily.

  “Didn’t figure from the looks of your life that you needed me much anymore,” Sue Beth said. “That why you called then? To tell me you saw your dad?”

  “He mentioned something I wanted to ask you about. Some letters.” Madison scrunched her eyebrows together and tilted her head. She wasn’t sure which answer she wanted. “He was lying, right?”

  Her mother waited a long time before answering. “No, there are letters.”

  “There are? How many?”

  “I don’t know. A few dozen, I guess.”

  “For me? And for Sophie?”

  “For both of you, I think,” Sue Beth said.

  “And you didn’t feel like sharing them with us?”

  “I didn’t want to give you false hope. That man never did anything right in his whole life. I figured those letters were full of promises he never would’ve kept.”

  Madison’s fury at her mother was matched by her surprise. Charlie wasn’t lying. Yes, he’d abandoned her. But he’d tried to stay in touch. He really had. And now he’d come back. He’d finally, after all these years, come back to take care of her.

  Chapter 14

  The Best Idea You Ever Had

  Kate was curled on the couch, her guitar in her lap and a mug of green tea steaming on the coffee table in front of her. She hummed quietly to herself as she strummed: E minor, D, A minor, C, E minor—but then what? She was stuck on the bridge. She tried a few chords and then shook her head in frustration. She frowned down at her fingers as if it was their fault.

  She considered giving up for the night. Maybe she should bake a batch of cookies or something. Presumably the oven worked—not that she’d ever turned it on. (There were just so many good restaurants in L.A., so many convenient take-out joints. It wasn’t at all like her little suburban slice of Columbus, Ohio, where the dining choices were either Chili’s, the Olive Garden, or the all-you-can-eat Super Buffet.)

  She was halfway to the kitchen when she reminded herself that one did not forge a successful music career by baking Nestlé Toll House when times got tough. One persevered. She turned, sighing, and headed back to the couch. E minor, D, A minor, C . . . What was that stupid poster her first guitar teacher used to have on his wall? “Success is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration”?

  She picked up her guitar again but kept stealing glances at her phone. She hadn’t talked to her sister in a few days. Maybe she should call her. Or maybe Luke would call. They’d hung out a lot in the last week, mostly at the little cottage he rented in Venice. They had taken long walks along the water, people-watched on the boardwalk, and watched old Gregory Peck movies. They’d talked and talked, about all sorts of things—but Kate never said a word about PopTV. She had done just as Madison instructed.

  E minor, D, A minor, C, E minor, D, A minor, C . . . Ugh, she was going crazy.

  When her buzzer sounded, she tossed her guitar onto the cushions and ran to the intercom. Madison, Sophie, the cable guy—she’d be happy to see anyone, as long as it meant she could take a break from that damn chord progression. “Hello?”

  “It’s me,” Carmen said. “Buzz me in, chica.”

  Kate happily obeyed and in a few moments Carmen was in her doorway, smiling and holding out a white box tied with pastry string. “I brought cupcakes.”

  Kate had to stop herself from snatching them from her friend’s hands. “You have no idea how badly I was craving sugar. It always happens when I’m stuck on a song.”

  Carmen followed her into the living room, looking polished and vaguely French in a pair of slim black pants and a sort of Marcel Marceau–ish striped top. “Rough day at the office?”

  Kate laughed. “Well, it’s no rougher than being in front of a dozen cameras, that’s for sure. But I hate composer’s block. It’s the worst.” She opened the box and selected a pink-frosted cupcake dusted with edible silver glitter. “Ohh, almost too pretty to eat.” She smiled.

  “Yeah. I actually brought these as an apology,” Carmen admitted.

  “For what?” Kate asked, her mouth full of delicious cake.

  “I accidentally told Luke about you being on The Fame Game.” Carmen reached for one of the chocolate cupcakes and slowly peeled off the paper wrapper. “I didn’t know you were keeping it a secret from him. Why were you keeping it a secret from him? Also, why were you keeping him a secret from me?”

  Kate groaned. “I wasn’t—on either account. I mean, I just haven’t seen you much this week because you were prepping for your audition. And with Luke, I didn’t mean to not tell him, not at first. I just wasn’t thinking about it the night we met.”

  “Fair enough. I forgive you,” Carmen said, licking a bit of frosting off her fingertip. “But as for Luke, what about the nights after that first one?”

  “Madison told me that I shouldn’t tell him.”

  Carmen shot her a questioning look. “And since when do sane people take advice from Madison Parker?”

  Kate looked down at her hands. She had frosting under her fingernails and her polish was beginning to chip. “She said that if I told him, it might mess things up. Maybe he’d be totally put off and he wouldn’t want to see me anymore. Or maybe he’d be so into the idea that pretty soon he wouldn’t care about spending time with me—he’d only care about spending time with the PopTV cameras.”

  While Kate was talking, Carmen was nodding thoughtfully. “Not terrible advice, especially when you consider the source.”

  “Oh, Carm.” Kate laughed. “She’s not that bad.”

  “Everyone is entitled to her own opinion,” Carmen said. “But seriously, if it was anyone other than Luke, I’d t
hink she was onto something. Of course, she was probably motivated by some nefarious angle she’s trying to work with your story line. But anyway, I’m sorry I screwed it up.”

  Kate frowned. “Was he mad?”

  “No,” Carmen said. “I mean, I don’t think so.”

  “I should have just told him.” Kate sighed. “I’m so lame.”

  Carmen reached out and patted her hand. “Hey, Hollywood is crazy. Celebrity is crazy. Trust me, I was born on the sidelines of this game and now I’m on the playing field. And it only gets crazier in there.”

  “Why does everyone who ever counsels me use sports metaphors?” Kate asked.

  Carmen looked puzzled. “What do you mean?”

  Kate shook her head, smiling. “Nothing, nothing. You were saying?”

  “I was just trying to tell you that getting involved in show business, or whatever you want to call it, can really mess with a person. You have to try to remember who you are. And right now, you’re just Kate Hayes, singer-songwriter extraordinaire. Enjoy it like you are enjoying those cupcakes. Seriously, is that already your second?”

  Kate looked up guiltily mid-bite. “Urmm?”

  “You’re going to ruin your appetite for dinner.” Carmen laughed. “Oh hey, I think your phone just beeped.”

  Kate had to search under various pillows for it. When she found it, there was a new text from Luke. Speak of the devil.

  IN UR HOOD. CARE 4 COMPANY? She felt a jolt of excitement. Yes, she wanted his company. She wanted to climb on the back of that motorcycle and ride up into the hills with him. But Carmen was on her couch, and pretty soon the two of them were going to have to head over to film an “impromptu” dinner party at Madison and Gaby’s place.

  “It’s Luke,” she said to Carmen. “He wants to come over.”

  “Well, by all means,” Carmen said. “I’ll make myself scarce until dinner.”

  Kate texted him that he didn’t have much time, so he’d better hurry, and it seemed like she’d hardly said good-bye to Carmen before Luke appeared in her doorway, wearing that motorcycle jacket of his and smelling like wind and sand and leather.

  “I didn’t hear the buzzer,” she said, flustered. She was both excited and nervous to see him.

  “Carm let me in,” he said, leaning in to kiss her cheek. He’d shaved the stubble that he’d worn for The End of Love auditions, and his skin was tan and smooth.

  “So, are you mad at me?” she blurted. She couldn’t help it. She just had to know for sure immediately.

  Luke laughed. “You’re not even going to say hello?”

  She looked up at him, her expression a mix of embarrassment and hope. “Hello. Are you mad at me?”

  “Hmmm,” he said, folding her into a hug. “Let me think about this. If I say I’m mad at you, will you be extra, extra nice to me?”

  Kate nodded into his broad chest. This was a good sign, wasn’t it? You didn’t hug a person you were mad at. “Yes,” she said, relief flooding through her. “Extra, extra nice.”

  He put his finger under her chin and lifted it. Their lips met in a swell of warmth and softness, and Kate wrapped her arms around his waist. She felt like she could have kept kissing him forever, but after a moment, Luke pulled away.

  “I do wish that I didn’t have to hear about it from Carmen,” he said. “But I think I can forgive you.”

  “I’m really sorry,” she said, twining her fingers in his as they walked into the living room. “I just didn’t tell you when we met because it didn’t seem important, and then, I don’t know, I thought you might think less of me. I’m a jerk, I know it.”

  Luke laughed. “No, you’re not. You’re just new to this kind of thing.” He took off his jacket and draped it over the arm of the couch. He was wearing a flannel shirt underneath it, and it sort of made him look like the foxiest lumberjack she’d ever seen.

  “Do you think it’s a bad idea?” Kate asked. “Being on a show like this?” She didn’t know why she was asking him; it wasn’t like she could back out now. But then again, she didn’t want to.

  Luke picked up her guitar and idly strummed a G chord. “I say, whatever helps you live your dream. If The Fame Game brings you attention for your music, then it was the best idea you ever had.”

  Kate flopped down on the couch. “I hope you’re right. But the music is . . . well, I’m stuck on this song,” she said. “I’ve got this four-chord progression and the beginning of a melody, but then it all falls apart. I can’t get the right chords for the chorus. I’m stuck on those stupid four.”

  Luke smiled. “Well, I know your problem,” he said.

  “You do?” she said, blinking hopefully at him. From what he’d told her, she gathered he was a pretty decent bassist—maybe he wrote songs, too.

  “Yep. You’ve got one too many chords. It’s like Willie Nelson said: All you need is three chords and the truth.”

  “Oh, shut up,” Kate said, tossing a pillow at him, which he deflected, laughing.

  “Ask your friend Carmen,” he said. “Her dad’s Mr. Pop Music. He knows I’m right and so does she.”

  “Whatever,” she said. “I’m going to stick with my four chords until I wrestle them into submission.”

  “Uh, you can wrestle me into submission,” Luke noted.

  Kate threw another pillow, and it hit him in the chest.

  “You know what they say about aggression,” he said, smirking. “It’s a sublimation of intense sexual desire.” His green eyes glittered playfully at her.

  She laughed and scooted across the cushions to him. How could he be so sexy and so goofy at the same time? She kissed his neck and then his lips. “Mmmm,” she said. “But you’re the one who said you were mad at me, remember?”

  “Well, last I checked, sexual desire is often a two-way street.”

  She crawled onto his lap and threaded her fingers through his, sighing. “But I have to go soon,” she said. “It’s almost time for my ‘spontaneous’ dinner party.” She sat up suddenly, a thought striking her. “Hey, you don’t want to come, do you? Like, to take down the estrogen concentration a notch?”

  Luke shook his head. “The Fame Game is going to be great for you,” he said. “But it wouldn’t be so good for me. Not at this point in my career.”

  She sighed. “I know, you’re right. I just thought—”

  “It was a sweet thought,” he interrupted, kissing her again. “But let’s keep us . . . between us.”

  “Well, Carmen already knows,” Kate reminded him.

  “No, I mean, let’s keep us away from the cameras and all that. Cool?” He continued kissing her.

  She closed her eyes. She was glad he didn’t want to be on PopTV. A moment like this was perfect and private.

  And if they were to keep their relationship a secret? Well, there’d only be more perfect, private moments like this one. Which was fine by her.

  Chapter 15

  That Was Awkward

  “This is delicious, Gaby,” Carmen said, carefully dotting the corner of her lips with a napkin. “Too bad I don’t cook, or else I’d ask you for the recipe.”

  “Thanks,” Gaby said brightly. “I just sort of whipped it up. You know, a little sea salt, a little olive oil . . .”

  Of course Gaby couldn’t sear tuna any more than she could tell you what the capital of California was. But Trevor wanted to make it look like Gaby was capable of making something besides sludge-colored smoothies, so they’d ordered the dinner from M Café and hidden the takeaway containers.

  The room was hot from all the extra lighting that shooting required, and Carmen wished she’d thought about that before selecting her A.P.C. henley sweater ensemble. She looked around the table, noting somewhat resentfully that the burden of making conversation seemed to have fallen on her thus far. Kate was picking at the salad (those cupcakes had ruined her appetite, just like Carmen said they would), Gaby was now gazing vacantly into her water glass, and Madison was emailing her publicist on her bedazzled
iPhone. (Rhinestones were so four years ago.)

  “So,” Carmen said, turning to Madison, “how did your audition for The End of Love go?” Laurel had instructed her to ask this; personally, Carmen didn’t really care. She knew Madison wasn’t any competition for her.

  Madison tossed her hair back and smiled faintly. “It was fine,” she said. “I thought Colum McEntire seemed sort of arrogant, though.”

  Arrogant? Now that’s the pot calling the kettle black, Carmen thought. But of course she kept that observation to herself. “I know what you mean,” she said. “He’s tough.”

  “I’m not sure I’d even want to work with him,” Madison said. “If he offered me a good role, I don’t know . . .”

  Way to lay the groundwork for not getting the part, Carmen thought. Way to pretend like you don’t want what you can’t have.

  “I’m sure you’ll get a great role,” Gaby said loyally. She smiled, but the expression seemed slightly painful for her. She’d gotten more fillers since Carmen saw her last, and her skin looked shiny and puffy. “Pillow face”: that was the tabloid term for it. And it was really unfortunate, because probably all Gaby needed to do to fill out her face naturally was eat something besides the odd lettuce leaf now and then. She hadn’t touched her tuna; she’d just cut it up and moved it around to different places on her plate.

  “Totally,” Kate said. “You’ll totally get something.”

  But Madison just shrugged and took a drink of Prosecco.

  “What about you, Carmen?” Kate asked. “How did your audition go?”

  Carmen had already told Kate all about it, of course, but the cameras hadn’t been rolling. “It went really well, I think,” she said. “I was pretty nervous, but it was great that I know Romeo. I mean Roman. Being able to read with someone you know and like makes it a lot easier.”