Laid Bare

  She held on to the edge of the counter. Ben stepped forward and reached between them, finding her clit, and she sucked in air at how wonderful it felt.

  Todd turned and Ben leaned forward. As always when she watched them together, she wanted to melt into a puddle. They kissed each other differently than they kissed her. With each other they were harder, rougher and yet neither tried to dominate the other. They saved that for her. Wheee!

  The kiss broke and Ben was on her in moments, her hair in his grasp, pulling her head back to kiss her neck. She had to let go of the counter as he bent her back, his fingers still working her clit.

  Overwhelmed, she held on to his shoulders and wrapped her legs around Todd’s waist. Shivers wracked her as she came, and a few breaths later, Todd’s cock jerked inside her as he followed.

  Ben stood and Todd helped her upright and down off the counter. “I just got all cleaned up and you’ve sullied me again,” she joked, and Todd didn’t look abashed in the slightest.

  She pulled on her skirt, zipped up the side and turned back to Ben, who leaned against the counter where Todd had just fucked her.

  “Hmm, what about you?” she asked in her best purr.

  Todd moved close and pulled the front of Ben’s jeans apart. Erin blinked. Todd was easy enough with kissing and the occasional fondling with Ben, but he hadn’t initiated sexual contact in this way, at least that she’d seen.

  “Bring me the lube, honey. Let’s take care of this.”

  Erin moved quickly to the drawer that held all manner of things, condoms and lube primarily, and pulled out the Boy Butter. “He likes to get jerked with this,” she said in Todd’s ear, but loud enough for Ben to hear.

  She didn’t do anything other than watch, not wanting to break into the moment between them. She caught Todd’s eyes in the mirror every once in a while when she could tear her gaze from his hands sliding, one after the other, up and off Ben’s cock, over and over. Ben’s eyes went half-lidded and his breath quickened and shal lowed.

  “Harder,” Ben said to Todd, his voice desire-rough.

  The muscles in Todd’s arms corded as he angled his wrists differently to fist over Ben’s cock harder. Ben leaned back and began to thrust up into Todd’s grip and the sounds of male grunting and groaning made her sway as a flush built from her gut outward.

  When Ben came, she was transfixed by his facial expression, feeling like a voyeur.

  She moved slow like honey to clean Ben with a warm, wet washcloth.

  Todd smiled as he looked her up and down. “I’m a really lucky man. A woman wearing a tight sweater and a short skirt with thigh-high stockings is going to bake bread for me. A hot man to share her with. It’s good to be me.” Todd winked as he dried his hands off.

  32

  Lorie oohed and aahed over the bread and other things Erin had brought, and Annalee studiously avoided her. It made Erin want to throw up, but there was nothing to be done about it.

  The Keenans’ home was filled to the gills with people, absent, thankfully, the neighbor girl Annalee wanted to fix Ben up with. At least she’d listened on that.

  Joe brought home his new girlfriend, and Liz had a date too. It was warm, the air smelled good with food and spices, and the sound of family filled the air. Erin surveyed it all with a smile, happy to belong to something so wonderful.

  Todd came up behind her and wrapped her in his arms. “Hey, gorgeous. You doing all right?”

  “More than all right. This is good. The best Thanksgiving I’ve had in a really long time.”

  “Good. God, you make me happy.” He kissed her cheek and she snuggled back into him, watching the Wii boxing match taking place in the family room.

  “Must make your dad happy to whack the crap out of Joe like that.”

  “God knows I’ve wanted to more than once,” Todd murmured into her ear.

  She laughed.

  “Erin, your bag is ringing,” Mercy called out from the other room.

  “Crap, should have turned it off,” Erin said, extricating herself from Todd’s hold and heading to her phone.

  But a 213 area code on the number stopped her in her tracks. She took the phone and went out on the front porch.

  “Hello?”

  “Erin Brown?”

  “Yes,” she answered warily.

  “It’s Detective Emery.”

  And just like that her legs gave out and she slumped to the deck.

  “I’m sorry to bother you on Thanksgiving, but”—he sighed—“I was notified late yesterday that Charles Cabot is getting a parole hearing next month.”

  She shot up from where she’d been crouched. “What?” she yelled. “Parole? He had a twenty-seven-year sentence. How can he possibly get parole? He killed my daughter. Goddamnit!”

  “I’m so very sorry, Erin. You know I am. If I had anything to say about it, he’d be dead. But I don’t and he’s getting a hearing. They’re going to want to hear from you. Can you come down to testify?”

  Her legs went away again and she sat with a hard thump on the front steps. It rained on her, but she didn’t care.

  “Listen, I know it’s a bad time. You’re probably just getting ready to eat some turkey and pumpkin pie. I wouldn’t have bothered you, but I felt you had the right to know. I’ll give you a few days. You know where I am. Give me a call by Tuesday, all right? I’m sorry, Erin. I am. But, damn it, we need you there. We need you to stand up and tell the board what this man has done to you.”

  She thanked him for telling her and hung up before putting her head on her knees and giving over to tears.

  “Where’s Erin?” Todd asked Brody, who shrugged.

  “Dunno. I haven’t seen her in a while. Is everything all right?”

  “She was here and then she took a call.” Todd looked around but didn’t see her.

  As he walked through the front entry, he glanced to the left and saw her through the windows, hunched over, sitting on the front steps in the pouring rain. Panic held him for a moment.

  He turned to see Ben had just walked into the foyer. “Down the hall in the linen closet. Towels. Hurry,” he told Ben as he moved to the door.

  Todd rushed outside.

  “Erin? Honey?”

  She turned, and it was obvious she’d been crying. She turned her back to him, trying to wipe her eyes, but the rain simply made that task impossible.

  “You’re scaring me. What is it?”

  Ben came out, and they each took an arm and brought her inside to where others had gathered in the hall. Ben toweled off her hair and Todd took a hand. His heart thundered. He hadn’t seen her this upset since the day in June when he’d broken into her apartment on the anniversary of Adele’s death.

  Brody pushed his way through and took her upper arms. “What is it? Tell me!”

  “Cabot is getting a parole hearing,” she said, snapping from her tears. Her hands gripped the front of Brody’s sweater, her eyes bearing a haunted look that tore at Todd’s heart.

  “Okay, everyone out,” Todd’s mother ordered before she pressed a tumbler into Erin’s hand. “Drink it.”

  Erin gulped it down and coughed.

  “That’s the way. A little Jameson will get you warm. Go into my closet and grab a sweater,” she told Todd’s dad, who sent a look of condolence to Todd.

  She bent in front of Erin. Todd had managed to get her sitting on the upholstered bench in the front hall. She began to shiver. Ben wrapped a dry towel around her.

  His mother took Erin’s hands. “This is the bastard who killed Adele?”

  Erin paled, which Todd couldn’t believe was possible, as she’d already been paler than he’d ever seen her. She nodded and Brody sat on the floor, leaning his head against Erin’s side.

  Adrian sighed and sat on her other side.

  “We’ll go down there and testify. We can do that too, right?” Brody asked. “He can’t get away with this. They have to know what it’s been like since.”

  Todd’s mother br
ushed a hand over Erin’s forehead, pushing her hair back from her eyes. “Erin, sweetie, why don’t you change into some dry clothes and lie down for a while? Then you’ll wake up and eat and we’ll work out how to deal with this. Of course we’ll all do what we can to support you.”

  Alarm gripped Todd’s gut. Erin had sort of disappeared into herself. He’d never seen her this way. He looked at Ben, who also wore a haunted face.

  “Not again.” Her voice was a bare whisper. “I want to go home. I want to be alone for a while,” Erin said, her voice flat and empty.

  Todd’s mother turned to him, standing. “Take her home. I’ll get you some food to take with. You call the doctor if she’s not livelier in a few hours, do you hear me?”

  “No. Todd and Ben, stay here with your family. Brody or Adrian can take me home. Or I can go myself. I need to be alone.” Erin spoke, but her eyes didn’t have their usual warmth. She wasn’t even pissed that they’d all been coddling her. That in and of itself was worrying.

  Todd cut his gaze to Brody, who returned his concern.

  Brody stood. “Okay, Erin. Let’s go, baby.” He wrapped her in another towel and Adrian grabbed her purse. “Stay here. No use your day getting ruined. I’m just going to give her a Xanax and tuck her into bed,” he said to Todd.

  “The hell,” Ben spoke from next to Todd with such vehemence Lorie looked at him askance.

  Annalee approached and put her arms around Erin, kissing her cheek. “Let them give you comfort. You need it.” Erin roused a bit and more tears came.

  Lorie nodded, looking slightly confused.

  Renee came forward with several bags of food, DJ at her side. “What can we do?”

  Todd was so grateful for these people, every last one of them.

  “Brody, it’s okay, I’ve got her.” Todd took over, and Brody nodded, approval in his eyes.

  “Honey, let’s get you home. We’ll tuck up into bed, eat turkey and you can wear your flannel jammies.”

  She nodded absently when he’d been hoping for a smile. Ben came up on Erin’s other side.

  “Get her home. Call me later and let us know she’s all right,” his mother said.

  “I’ll make some calls,” his father said. “We’ll make sure this bastard stays in prison.”

  Grateful for all the support, Todd hugged them both and took the bags of food.

  Ben had deposited her in the car and traded off with Todd, rushing back to say good-bye to his family.

  Brody stood at the car door, kissing her forehead. He looked up at Todd. “You call me if you need anything. Anything, do you understand?”

  Todd nodded. “Of course. I’m just going to get her home and tuck her into bed. Get some Xanax into her and go from there. We’ll get hold of her therapist too.”

  “We have to go down there and testify.” Adrian grabbed his arm. “Adele was special. This man took that. He has to pay.”

  Todd blinked back tears as he nodded. “I know.”

  Ben came out and got into the car, moving to her immediately. Todd nodded at Erin’s brothers. “I’ll talk to you both tomorrow.”

  In the car on the way home she resisted when they tried to get her out of her wet clothes. Todd just turned the heater up and Ben held her tight. She didn’t say anything. She didn’t cry. She just rested in his arms and that alarmed him.

  When they got home, she pushed away once they got inside. “I need to be by myself.”

  “Tough.” Todd shook his head, frustrated. “You don’t live by yourself. We come with the deal now.”

  “You don’t get every part of me.” She went upstairs and they followed.

  In short, jerky movements she pulled her wet clothes off. Like an automaton, she went into the bathroom, turned on the taps to run a bath.

  “Take something, damn it.” Ben held out a pill and a glass of water.

  “I won’t.”

  Her spine straightened and Ben felt a bit better at the sight. If they had to make her mad, so be it. Anything was better than despondent.

  “Don’t be stubborn, Erin. Just take it. You’ll feel better.”

  She got into the bath, and slid all the way under for so long Ben began to lean to yank her out when she surfaced.

  “I’m not taking anything like that again. I can’t think straight when I take the pills. I need to think straight.”

  “Do you? Right now?” Todd knelt next to the tub and squirted soap on the loofah and began to pass it over her back. “You can’t just give yourself a fucking break for one day?”

  “What do you know about it?”

  Ben pulled his clothes off and got in with her. She groaned in frustration.

  “You boys are smart. You know what I want to be alone means! But you’re still here.”

  “We’re not going anywhere. You’re hurting and we love you. Let us in.” Ben took her hand, kissing her fingers.

  “And you’re right. I don’t know about it. I can’t unless you share,” Todd said.

  “Some things hurt coming out.”

  Ben heaved a sigh. He ached for her.

  “I know they do, gorgeous. But once they’re out, they can’t poison you anymore.”

  “I don’t want pills. I lived in a narcotic haze for nearly a year after Adele was killed. I’d go to the trial and relive that day over and over. Like a twisted version of Groundhog Day. And I’d come home, take pills, wash them down with booze and pass out. I could not deal. But I went every day because I wanted Charles Cabot to have to see me. The pills ate me up, the booze ate me up, the rage that my baby was murdered and left to bleed out on the street ate me up.” Her voice shook and her eyes held fire. “I’ll never do that again. I have to be aware. I have to because he can’t get out. It can’t happen.”

  Todd met Ben’s eyes over her shoulder and tears shimmered there.

  “Nothing will ever happen to you. We won’t allow that. You have to know that. This building is safe. We’ll escort you to work every day if we have to. He can’t touch you.” Ben needed her to understand.

  She shot up, sending water sloshing over the edges of the tub. “It’s not that!” she screamed. “I don’t care about that. I wish he had killed me instead.”

  Todd shook his head hard. “No. Damn it, no. Don’t go down this path, Erin.”

  “He can’t be out and living a life when Adele is in a coffin. I can’t bear it. She was everything. Beautiful and loving and she did nothing wrong. She was light and love and he stole that. He dirtied it and ruined it.” Her face crumpled and Ben stood to gather her to him. “He got twenty-seven years and it’s only been four. She’ll never see another birthday and he might be getting out.”

  “Let’s get you out of the water and into some pajamas. We’ll get the fire going and lie in bed. Okay?” Ben picked her up and she clung to him. Todd wrapped her in a towel, and they headed into the bedroom, where Todd turned on the fireplace.

  Erin sighed when Ben put her down. She grabbed the towel and dried off, hung it up before rustling to find panties and her pajamas. They’d been right about that one thing. She wanted the comfort of flannel and hoped it would chase away the chill that had settled back into her bones.

  “I’m getting some mulled cider and making plates.” Todd looked back at her and narrowed his gaze. “You, in bed.”

  “Bossy,” she muttered, but did it and felt some comfort at the scent surrounding her. Their scent.

  Ben sat across from her. He’d put on snug black boxer briefs and she couldn’t help but feel that zing that existed between them.

  “Erin, I understand and respect that you want to remain clear-headed here.” He paused and she knew he was being very careful with his words.

  “Don’t. Just say it. I’m not made of glass.”

  He smiled. “You’re fucking scaring me. Okay so, she’s gone. He took her from you and it can’t be taken back. I’m sorry, so sorry that this happened, but wishing yourself dead in her place won’t change that. The only option you have rig
ht now is to go down there and testify before the parole board.”

  “Exactly.” Todd walked into the room holding a huge tray of food and a stack of plates. “My mother went a little wild.” He smiled. “Eat. Leaving the cider in the Crock-Pot downstairs was an awesome idea. Drink it. I added some Jack.”

  She picked among the food, not really having an appetite, and Todd took over, heaping potatoes, turkey, stuffing and green beans on a plate.

  Fire left a trail down her throat after she took a sip of the cider. “Yeah, just a bit of Jack.” She coughed.

  It was quiet for a few minutes until they’d eaten, and Erin had to admit she felt better for it.

  “I know you’re scared.” Todd met her eyes as he spoke.

  Her skin crawled. “I shouldn’t be. I should rush down there and set up a tent outside the parole board in protest.”

  Todd closed his eyes and finally got it. “You can’t feel guilty for being afraid. Erin, he stalked and terrorized you. He nearly killed you and he killed your daughter. Of course you’re afraid.”

  Ben brushed hair from her face. “That’s what he relied on. He built it up over time. That’s what stalkers and abusers do.”

  “It doesn’t mean you didn’t love Adele. It doesn’t make you a bad mother. It doesn’t make you a bad person.”

  She burst into tears again and Todd moved the food out of the way so he and Ben could hold her.

  “Let it go. We’ve got you. We won’t let you fall.” Todd kissed her cheek, tasting the sadness of her tears.

  “Baby, let us help you make it through,” Ben said and it just made her cry harder.

  When she’d reached the stage of hiccups and what had to be a really disgusting runny nose, she sat up and took the hankie Todd held out to her.

  “I’m scared,” she finally said. “But I’m sick of it. There’s nothing else to do but stand up and face him. For myself and for Adele.”

  “I’m proud of you. And we’ll be right by your side when you do this.”

  “I need to call Jeremy. He would have called if he heard. Emery said the hearing was next month.” She scrubbed her face with her hands.