Ruining Me

  Kyle looked at me, but spoke to Jill, “Line us up with some Patron shots.” Jill did as he instructed and once all six shots were in front of us she spoke quietly to me.

  “Hope you know what you are doing.”

  I shook my head and told her the truth, “I haven’t known what I was doing for years.” I looked at Kyle and lifted my first shot to him and drank deep. In minutes I had finished the other two. Kyle started laughing and finished his drinks. He grabbed my hand to lead me back to the dance floor.

  We danced for several songs. I had gotten a pretty good buzz and was finally enjoying myself. The band finally came on stage and the dance floor became packed. Glancing around I notice Kane and I guess it was his brother playing pool and several girls were gathered around. Sweat poured down my hairline and across my chest.

  Kyle’s mouth was suddenly on my neck and I didn’t like it. I pulled away from him and he gripped my body tighter. Pushing away from him, he only laughed and shook his head no while he tried to pull me closer. I could feel the panic coming over me, but before I could react, an arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me away from him. Kyle was staring behind me and then I heard a voice in my ear.

  “Jay, is this douchebag bothering you?” I could tell Kyle could hear him.

  “No problems here. We were just dancing, but I guess we’re done.” Kyle replied back and turned around to walk away.

  The music changed to something slow and sexy. I turned around in Kane’s arms to face him. His jeweled eyes were gleaming and he wasn’t smiling. My arms automatically move up and around his neck. We start dancing, never taking our eyes off each other. I’d never been more aware of another human being as I was right then. He gripped me and pulled me closer to him. I finally shut my eyes and laid my head down on his shoulder. He sang softly into my ear. Shivers ran down my body and I sighed against his neck. I could feel his body tighten against me. When the song ended he pulled back and looked at me.

  “I am so pissed at you Jay.”

  “You’ll get over it,” I said.

  He laughed at me and shook his head. “Yeah I guess I will. Come on. I want to introduce you to my brother,” he said as he pulled me through all the bodies on the dance floor and over to the pool tables. When we got closer I watched his brother turn towards us.

  “So this must be Jay,” he stated and continued, “nice dance moves.” He laughed to himself. Kane looked at me and shrugged.

  “Shut up Cole. Jay this is Cole. Cole this is Jay.”

  I glance back at Cole and say, “Hi.” Kane sat down on a stool and pulls me to set on his lap.

  Cole racked up the balls for another game and asked, “So my brother tells me you are a senior in high school.” He had a smirk across his face. I guess that was funny to him. “Girls sure didn’t look like you when I was in high school.”

  “Cole,” Kane warned. His eyes were hard on his brother.

  “What? I’m just saying your girl is fine, brother. A little young, but at least legal.” He laughed. I could tell that Kane was getting pissed. His jaw was clenching again.

  Cole broke the balls then turned toward me again. “What are your plans for college?”

  “I don’t have any at the moment,” I said to him. That always stuns people when you tell them that and Cole had a stunned expression on his face

  “So what, you’re not going to college?”

  “I have no long term plans at this moment. We’ll see how everything goes.” I could tell he didn’t like my answers, but before he could ask anything else, I turn to see Kip heading toward me. Kip looks pissed as he walks right up to me.

  “What the hell Jay? JT is a fucking mess. Did you know that Coach almost benched him for the first game this Friday because he won’t tell anyone who beat the shit out of him? Coach even called our parents and they have his ass on lock down. I know it had something to do with you so don’t lie. When I tried to talk to him he just mentioned that something had went down at your house. Is this the fucker that beat the shit out of him?”

  Kip glared at Kane behind me. I could feel Kane’s body tense beneath mine. Kip is a big guy, but he had nothing on Kane. Kane pushed me from his lap and went to stand up behind me. I needed to diffuse the situation and fast.

  “Listen Kip, JT and I had a misunderstanding. We were fighting and Kane mistook the situation. It wasn’t his fault. He thought JT was hurting me.”

  Kip kept glaring at Kane. I heard Cole chuckle behind me and open his big mouth.

  “Dude, you really don’t want any of my little brother, the boy can fight. I do like to be entertained though and someone trying to kick his ass is always funny.”

  I glare at Cole because he wasn’t helping the situation.

  Kip turned toward me and said, “You know that JT would never hurt you. He fucking loves you, Jay. It’s always been just you for him forever, but he’s going to fuck up his football scholarship if he doesn’t get his shit together. Don’t let your stuff bring him down, whatever it is.”

  I stare at Kip for a couple of seconds. I’ve seen Kip out several times over the past couple of years. He never really brought JT up, so I was shocked that he was saying anything now.

  “Kip, he came to my house and forced his way in. I have told him repeatedly that we are over.”

  He shakes his head at me, “You know you’ll never be over until you give him closure. Can you not just give him that Jay?” He turns and walks away.

  I could see Cole out of the corner of my eye staring at me. He looks like he is trying to figure out what his brother has gotten involved with. Turning toward Kane I glance up at him.

  “It’s late and I’ve got to go. I’ll talk with you later.” I start to walk away, but he pulls me back to him.

  “You’ve been drinking. I’ll drive you home in your car and Cole can follow us.” He wasn’t asking.

  “Okay, thanks.”

  Kane and Cole follow me out of the bar. Kane said something to his brother and then headed toward me as Cole went the other way. Neither of us said anything to each other. When I reach my car I give him the keys and he opens the door for me to get in. We pull out and I notice that Cole was following behind us.

  “Thanks for driving me home.”

  He nods his head at me and turns on the radio. Coldplay filled the silence. I look out the window and thought about what Kip said.

  “How long have you and that guy’s brother been broken up?” His voice was low.

  “For about two years.” He turns his head towards me with surprise on his face.

  “Two years? How long were you with him?”

  “Since we were in middle school I guess. He was my first and only boyfriend pretty much.”

  “Are you ready to tell me why you guys broke up?”

  “Not really. No one knows, Kane. I don’t ever talk about it.” I turn away and look out the passenger side window.

  We drive the rest of the way in silence. He pulls into my driveway and turns the car off. I look back and see Cole pull in behind us. We both get out of the car at the same time and he walks around to where I am standing. I start to tell him goodnight, when he gently cradles my face with his hands and forces me to look into his eyes.

  “You pissed me off tonight. I was just telling my brother about you over dinner and then we walk into the fucking bar and you’re on the dance floor with another guy.”

  “I figured you wised up and decided to drop me like a bad habit,” I replied sarcastically.

  “I should, but for some crazy reason I can’t get you out of my head. I wasn’t going to call you all weekend and give us some space. I’m trying to slow everything down for you and give you time, but you’ve got to be on the same fucking page as me. You frustrate the hell out of me. I’m working the next two nights at the bar. Next Friday night we are going on a date. I’ll pick you up at seven.” It wasn’t a question.

  Looking into his eyes I knew that right now he had me. “I’ll be ready at seven.”

/>   He grins at me and says, “Good girl. I’ll train you yet.” He laughs as I punch him in the arm. He leans down and presses his lips against mine. It was just a simple kiss, but it ignited my body. I open my mouth and let his tongue touch mine. It was over before it got really good, because Cole chose that moment to honk his truck horn.

  He pulled away and I saw him throw his arm up and shoot his brother a friendly hand gesture. “I’ll call you tomorrow,” he said and walked to the truck.

  Walking in the house, I lock the door behind me and set the alarm. My mind was going over what Kip said as I showered and fell into my bed. JT needed more from me about what happened, but I just couldn’t go there. I had never talked to anyone about it. For one, so much time had passed that I don’t think anyone would believe me. When it first happened I blamed myself and then the next month was a nightmare. I just want to forget about it. He ruined me for JT. I was saving my virginity for him. JT and I had been talking about taking our relationship further. He loved the thought that we both had never been with anyone else. Then I was ruined. I fell asleep again with tears in my eyes.

  The clock on the wall ticked loudly in my ear. I was in my white room again, however, now crimson blood leaked from the top of the walls running swiftly down to the floor. About a foot of blood pooled at the bottom. I sat in the middle of the room directly in the thick liquid and the blood coated my naked legs and backside. My hands twirled through the thick blood at my side. I could even smell the musky scent it had.

  Directly in front of me the thick red liquid started bubbling and then something began rising from the blood. I realized it was a head with the hair slicked back from all the blood. Next there were eyes as red as rubies. They stared at me and the head moved with an almost snake like grace back and forth. Next came his broad shoulders and the blood ran down to his flat stomach. He was naked and when the next part of his body rose, I turned my head. I could see his legs from the corner of my eyes and then he was finally standing whole in front of me.

  He dropped to his knees and grinned at me. “Come to me,” he commanded. I shook my head no. “Well then fight me, because I can always take what I want.” He grabbed my arms and pulled me to him and tried to kiss my mouth. “Fight me my beauty. Force always makes it sweeter.” I opened my mouth to scream then.

  Sitting up in bed, I notice the sun had already started rising. My body started shaking and I pulled my knees hugging them to me. My nightmares were getting darker. I hadn’t had one for months until last week. Going back to school has triggered them and also having to see him again. Last year, he had left me a couple of notes, but he didn’t approach me. Why all the sudden is he harassing me more?

  I wasn’t going to be able to go back to sleep so I went ahead and got up. Throwing on my bathing suit, I went downstairs. I grab some breakfast then went outside to the pool. The sun was already shining bright by the time I lay down on the chair. Not a cloud was in the sky. I turn on my iPhone to my Kings of Leon playlist and close my eyes.

  About an hour after I had been outside my phone chimed that I had a text.

  Kane – You up?

  Me – Soaking up the sun by the pool…want to join me???

  Kane – I need to go work-out.

  Me – Have fun working out. J

  Groaning to myself, I guess he is not going to push me. I know it’s what I wanted, but then again I hate it. The thought of seeing him in his swim shorts warms me all over. Sitting up I grab the tanning oil rubbing it on my skin and the sweet smell of coconut fills the air. Thirty minutes later my phone buzzes again.

  Kane – I should be working out……

  Me – So why aren’t you????

  Kane – Because I’m standing at the gate to your pool. I guess I just can’t stay away.

  I jump off the lounge chair and rush to open the gate. When it swings open my jaw drops. Kane is standing there in his swim shorts, flip flops, and nothing else. My mouth waters at the sight of his chest. My eyes finally go to his and that’s when I laugh because he is staring at my body the same way I am staring at his. Glad I wore my new yellow bikini.

  “Like what you see Sweetheart?” He laughs at what say and I know he is remembering that’s what he asked me when we first met.

  “Yeah, I really like what I see.” He grabs me and pulls me toward him for a kiss. “You’re all slippery and you smell so good. Like a tropical island.” He kisses my nose and my mouth. “Damn, I can’t stay away. I didn’t sleep well again last night and I blame you.” I kiss him back and pull away to hold his hand and lead him to the lounge chair next to mine.

  “Now lie down and rest,” I say and he plops down on his stomach. Pouring some tanning oil onto my hands, I begin to massage his back. His groan lets me know he likes what I am doing. I knead his shoulders and back. Finally I’m able to read the script across his neck. It reads To Thine Own Self Be True. The words hit me hard and I trace the words with my finger.

  My hands rub his lower back and then move down his legs. About twenty minutes later when I am finished, I move up to kiss his cheek and realize he is sound asleep. Smiling, I move to my chair and lay down. He really was beautiful and it seems like it is inside and out. How could I ever let him go? I close my eyes and bask in the warm sun.

  The buzzing of a bee above me woke me up. The sky had turned cloudy and I look next to me. Kane was sound asleep still on his stomach. His back was red from falling asleep in the sun. I jump up to wake him.

  “Wake up Kane.” I shake him awake. He leans up and winces from the pain of his back. Grabbing my phone, I notice that it was almost four in the afternoon.

  “Damn, how long did we sleep?” He was still groggy and he looked so freaking sexy.

  “Long enough, Sleeping Beauty.” I say and grin at him. “Come inside so I can put some aloe on your back. Thank God that it was cloudy or you would have been really sun burned.” He follows me into the kitchen. I grab the aloe that we have in the fridge and rub some on his back.

  “That feels so good Jay.” I finish and wash my hands in the sink. He comes up behind me and kisses me. I close my eyes and feel his mouth drift over my neck and back. “You taste so good. When I’m not with you all I do is think about you and when I’m finally with you, I am thinking about when I can be with you again. Crazy, huh?” Words had left me and I nod my head yes. “You make me crazy, Jay.” His lips continue down the center of my back. His hands are gripping the sides of my hips.

  His lips and hands suddenly leave me and I turn my head to look back at him. His eyes are shining and I look down to see that I’m not the only one turned on. His breath is heavy and he’s gripping the kitchen counter like it’s a life line.

  “You test my patience. I’ve got to get ready for work. Are you coming to the bar tonight?”

  “I think I’ll stay around here,” I say as I turn toward him.

  “I’ll be working so that’s good for me. I’d hate to watch all the douchebags hitting on you all night.”

  “Please Kane, what about all the little college girls worshiping at your feet?” He finally steps back to look at me.

  “It’s you that I’ll be thinking about. I can come here after work if you want me to, but Jay I think I really should give you a little space. They’re ten million things I need to do tomorrow and I really need to hit the gym. How about I call you tomorrow before I go to work?”

  I sigh and answer him, “I guess you’re right.” I lean in and kiss him. Our lips explore each other for several minutes before I pull back. His eyes are still closed and he looks so yummy that I lean back in and lightly kiss his lips again.

  “I’m going to need the coldest shower when I get home.” He and I both laugh. I walk him out to his car and he kisses me one last time. “I’ll call you,” he says.

  “I’ll be waiting,” I reply. He gets in his car and drives away. My face feels like it’s stretched with the biggest smile. He just makes me happy. I go back in and settle down for a lazy weekend.

&n
bsp; The night passes and so does the next day. My parents call and check in with me to make sure everything is fine. Sunday night, Kane finally calls to check in with me before work. He tells me that he misses me and I tell him I’m glad. He laughs at me, promising to call the next day after school. I didn’t have any nightmares both nights.

  Chapter 5

  Monday morning arrived with me feeling refreshed and ready for the day. It had been a long time since I felt that way. Feeling good about myself, I decide to wear my new pale pink sundress to school. It had sweetheart sleeves and fell just above my knee. I brush my hair until it shines and slide on a new pair of flats. I took a picture of myself blowing a kiss to the mirror and send it to Kane along with a quick text.