Lost in You

  Her face fell. Just a little, but he saw it. He saw it and turned anyway, waving over his shoulder. “Talk to you soon. Thank Tate for the food too.”

  “See you later.”

  Beth grumped around the shop, peering through the racks. It had been over a week since that night when Clancy had taken Joe aside and he’d avoided talking with her about it. He’d been distracted. Dark circles under his eyes. She’d taken to showing up at the garage with lunch just so she knew he was eating.

  But though it was clear he’d been touched by it, he kept distance there and it was getting to her. She couldn’t even really enjoy shopping for bridesmaid dresses with Lily because of it.

  Boys.

  “I keep trying to act like I’m cool with it. I should be. I’m trying really hard to back off and let him deal with his stuff. But…”

  Lily nodded. “You want him to share. Because he cares about you. Because he knows just telling you will help.”

  Yes. It was one thing for her to tell him it was safe to share. But his not doing it made her feel like he didn’t believe it.

  “It feels like he’s walling me out. Which is so mean of me. Selfish. I know so well what it means to have family shit you just can’t bear to say out loud.”

  “But you were a kid and whatever you dealt with, you were hostage to it. You had no escape. On the other hand, Joe is a grown man.”

  “It’s not just that he won’t talk to me about whatever is going on with his dad. He’s so stressed. I know he’s not getting enough rest. I invited him and his family over for dinner, and he says he’s busy. Not the first time I’ve asked. Not the first time he’s made excuses. It’s beginning to feel like it’s not about them, but about me. I don’t like that feeling.”

  “If I make people wear that they’ll never forgive me.” Lily indicated a bridesmaid’s dress Beth had in her hand.

  “I was trying to get to the one behind it.” She pulled the other out. “This one.”

  “About you how? That blue would look so gorgeous on you guys.”

  “Maybe I’m not meet-the-parents material. Maybe they hear the name Murphy and they can only think about my parents. God, what if they think I’m like that?”

  “Whatever his hesitation is, I don’t think it’s that he’s ashamed of you. Plus, look, Petal is a small town, but chances are, his parents either don’t know who you are, or if they know about your parents, they’re not stupid enough to think you’d be that way. But, if that’s the case we will kick him in the face and give him dirty looks until the end of time and he will most definitely not be eating cake at my wedding. After you dump him and move on with someone way hotter, that is.”

  All of that was probably true. Probably. “Well it’s weird and I’m getting a complex.”

  “Maybe you need to break it off with him. Why be with someone who makes you feel bad?” Lily indicated the dress. “Try it on.”

  “I don’t know why I have to be the guinea pig and do this before everyone else has to.”

  “Because I said so. Because it’s your job as the maid of honor and my best friend and because you have a fabulous sense of style. Plus it gives me a reason to look at clothes.”

  Lily would most likely end up making all the damned dresses for her bridesmaids anyway. “Crafty bitch.”

  Lily swatted her butt. “Go on. I’ll be waiting.”

  She got into the dress in the changing room. “I don’t want to break up with him. I want him to trust me enough to talk to me. Maybe I’m doing this all wrong.”

  Beth came out, waving a hand at the neckline. “Way too much boobage here. Tate will put someone’s eye out.”

  Lily’s laugh made her feel better. “Yeah, but yours look pretty spectacular in it. Still, we really can’t have your boobs upstaging mine. Hello, bride here.” She winked. “Maybe you can wear it to the rehearsal dinner.”

  “I have to wear something like this to the rehearsal dinner? It’s going to be fancy? You know it’s going to be wall-to-wall Murphys. We’re not really fancy people.”

  Lily laughed and handed her several more dresses, shoving her toward the changing room again.

  “My father is hosting it. He just informed me of this fact today. I haven’t decided if I’m going to accept. I haven’t told Nathan yet either.”

  Beth sighed and went back to try on the dresses. “Why shouldn’t you accept? It doesn’t have to mean anything. You guys are paying for this on your own. Unless you don’t want any involvement with him at all.” She clucked her tongue. “This one has a corset type thing at the back.”

  Beth went out and Lily tightened the dress’s bodice. “Wow. This is definitely a contender. Since Tate is Nathan’s best woman, she’s going to need a different dress anyway. This one is so pretty.”

  “When do we get to try on your dress?”

  Lily smiled. “I’m going to make it. With your help of course. It was either me making all your dresses or me making mine. I don’t have the time to do both. Do you hate me?”

  Beth turned, taking her friend’s hands. “Why on Earth would I hate you? I can swing this dress. Tate can swing her dress. Of course I’ll help in whatever way I can. You sure you want the stress? Of making it, I mean?”

  “I saw this pattern at a garage sale of all places.” Lily moved back to her purse and pulled it out, handing it Beth’s way.

  Beth looked it over, knowing immediately that the style would suit her friend beautifully. “Vintage. Perfect.”

  “Tea length. But it’s a daytime wedding anyway. I think instead of all this lace for the sleeves I might do cashmere, as a removable bolero jacket. If the weather holds up and we have the ceremony outside, it’ll be cold.”

  “And it’ll be so soft against your skin and so pretty. Like a snow princess.”

  Lily nodded. “I know. Thank God you like it. It’ll take some time. The skirt is pretty full, lots of pleating. But I can do it. I want to do it. It’ll mean more to me. To pick out the fabric and everything.”

  “I’m in. Just tell me what you need and I’ll do it.”

  “Thank you. It means more than I can say.”

  “I’m your best friend. You don’t have to say.” Beth smiled, kissing Lily’s cheek.

  “You’re not doing it wrong. The thing with Joe I mean.” Lily looked Beth up and down. “This dress is the one. The color is perfect. What do you think?”

  “You don’t think so? I don’t know. I mean, I did game him at the beginning. I simply pushed myself into his life but I knew he dug me. But I don’t want to play games. I want him to trust me. I’m…I’m falling in love with him.”

  Lily sucked in a breath. “Games are dumb anyway. And they never, ever work. So if you don’t want to break things off, you have to give him some space and time and then figure out what you’re going to do if he won’t share. However,” Lily continued as Beth went back into the changing room, “I think we need to strategize on how to avoid that. We’re super smart, you and me. He doesn’t stand a chance.”

  “I don’t feel super smart.” Beth tried on two more dresses just to be sure. “Yeah, this is the one.” She got her street clothes back on and came out.

  “Now, about this thing with your dad paying for the rehearsal dinner.”

  They waited at the register while Beth paid.

  “He’s…my dad. I don’t want to be fighting with him. And I don’t want Chris to have more negative perceptions of him. God knows there’s enough damage done. He’s about to be a father again. Maybe he’s trying.”

  They headed out, down toward the fabric store a few blocks away.

  “I get that. And I support you, no matter what you decide. Either way though, there’s no rule saying it has to be something fancy if you don’t want it. If you do, go for it. I’ll wear a fancy dress and cute shoes and eat fancy food.” She laughed, linking her arm through Lily’s. “This is your day. Yours and Nathan’s, and he’s not going to give one tiny little fuck if the rehearsal dinner is swanky or n
ot as long as you’re happy.”

  “I’m lucky with him.”

  Beth laughed. “You are. He loves you. And that’s really his chief motivation.”

  “Thanks for listening. About this whole thing. And with Joe? I have to believe this will work out. I’ve seen how he is with you. He is into you in a major way. We need to be smart. And hello, that’s already taken care of.”

  Chapter Ten

  He allowed himself to get talked into going to the Tonk with William and a group of their friends. But he called Beth first.

  “What are you up to tonight?”

  “I’d planned on a movie with Lily and Anne. Why?”

  Joe knew he sounded disappointed. But he didn’t care. He hadn’t really seen her in two weeks and he missed her.

  “Oh. I agreed to go to the Tonk for a drink or two with William, Royal and Nathan. I thought it’d be nice if you were there too.”

  “Can I take that to be that you miss me?”

  He liked the flirty tone in her voice. “Yeah. Like crazy. Either way, I’d like to see you tonight. Or tomorrow after I close the shop.”

  “Go have a drink or two. I’m meeting Lily and Anne at the theater in half an hour. I’ll stop in after. You can buy me a drink and some hot wings. I might let you touch my butt while we dance. If you’re lucky.”

  He smiled, feeling a lot less tired than he had before he’d heard her voice. Before he’d known he’d be seeing her in a few hours.

  “All right. I’ll see you later. Text me when you’re on the way.”

  “See you later, Joe Harris.”

  He only barely registered everyone all around him at the Tonk. He’d been working a lot, and when he hadn’t been, he’d been dealing with doctors and pharmacies and his parents.

  Beth had shown up every day or so to bring him lunch. Or to check in. He’d been able to leave a few times to spend some time with her. Some of it had been with his lips on hers, or just walking hand in hand to the Honey Bear for a coffee.

  She’d become part of his life in a way that seemed as natural as breathing. There was really no more telling himself he shouldn’t want her, shouldn’t feel strongly about her. He did and it was stupid to deny it.

  Nathan ordered a pitcher. “Lily just texted to tell me she’d be coming by later. I have you to thank for that.” He tipped his chin.

  “I need to get dancing with some pretty girls if Anne is coming too.” Royal poured himself a beer.

  “I’m the first guy who’d say you should fight for a woman if you really want her. But, and I hate to say it because I know you’re ass deep in love with my sister, but Anne may not be worth all this effort. Well, worth is not a good word. She’s worth a lot of effort. But I don’t know if she’s ever going to get married. Even to a guy who clearly loves her.” Nathan waved away a woman who indicated she wanted to dance.

  William sighed. “I don’t know about that, Nathan. Anne’s got some messed-up ideas about marriage. But she’s not a lost cause. You can’t blame her. Considering the example she had growing up.”

  “Whatever.” Royal shrugged. “I can only take it for so long. If she doesn’t turn this around by the end of the year, I’m done. I love her, but I want a wife. A family. If she can’t commit, if she can’t admit I’m not your dad, she is a lost cause. I have to move on at some point.”

  Joe imagined giving up on Beth and he realized it filled him with fear.

  “My sisters—all of them—are good women. Strong. Stronger than most any other females I’ve ever met. Pretty. Smart. Hardworking. All positives. But stubborn. Holy shit, stubborn.” William leaned back and glowered at one of the women who’d been trying to catch Nathan’s eye. “I’m about to get pissy with these women who keep trying to get you to dance. For Christ’s sake, the whole town knows you’re engaged to Lily.”

  Nathan snorted. “It’s just a few of them. They know too. Not worth getting worked up over it. None of them matter one bit. If they want to keep embarrassing themselves, they should go on. Once Lily gets here, they’ll back off.”

  “They’re after Joe too.” Royal laughed. “Beth will end every single one of them.”

  “They scatter to the wind when she comes around.” Joe grinned. It was hot when she got all possessive the way she did. Not that any of the women who tried to get his attention could hold a candle to her anyway.

  “I bet. Things are good with her then?” Nathan leaned in to be heard over the music.

  Joe nodded. “I’m busy right now. Work and stuff. We’re not getting married in a few months or anything. But we do all right.”

  “Since you broke the little-sister-of-your-best-friend rule, you best take care with her.” William gave him a look.

  Joe held his hands up. “Do you think your sister would tolerate anything else?”

  William’s glower softened. “I think my sister Beth has a big old soft heart, and when she cares about people, it’s far easier for them to hurt her than they might think.”

  They’d managed to clear through a pitcher and some wings right as the women came in.

  “What do you want to bet Nathan has had to beat them off with a stick tonight?” Lily said this as they weaved through the crowd toward the table.

  “Doesn’t matter. Also, heh, you said beat off.” Anne thought this was hilarious.

  Beth snickered, saying hello here and there as they made their way over. Joe had a cowboy hat on. He rarely wore one, and up until that moment, she couldn’t have said it mattered to her one way or the other. But on him it totally worked.

  When he saw her, he stood, smiling.

  “Hey.”

  He hooked her with an arm around her waist and pulled her close, leaning down to brush his lips over hers. “Hey there.”

  He pulled her chair out and she sat, his arm against her shoulders. “I like the hat.”

  “Yeah? Your brother made me wear it.”

  “Which one?” She laughed.

  “William.”

  “Ah. Well, he was right. It works on you.”

  “How was the movie?” He leaned close as he spoke, smelling really, really good.

  “Pretty boys. Action. Lots of sweat. What’s not to love?”

  He stole a kiss. “Mind yourself, girl.”

  He took her hand, their fingers tangling.

  “You’re in a mood. I like it. I’ve missed you.”

  He hugged her, one armed. “Have a beer, and then you and I have some dancing to do.”

  “We can dance to this one while the beer is on the way out.”

  He stood, holding a hand out and she took it.

  She’d been to the Tonk dozens of times. For a while she hated it. It wasn’t their bar. They’d usually gone into Riverton because the denizens of Petal hadn’t always been the friendliest to the Murphy family.

  But over time, as they’d become extended family with the Chases, they’d come here more often. And as it frequently tended to happen, the Murphys took it over every time they came in. It was still full of people she didn’t like. The scars of her childhood, of the torment Tate had endured, were hard to leave behind. When she saw Dolly’s face, she couldn’t forget the way she’d treated Beth’s oldest sister.

  But more than the Dollys of Petal, there were people she counted as friends.

  And still? It was pretty freaking awesome to be out there on the dance floor, pulled up snug against the hottest dude in the entire place. She, Beth Murphy, had the most handsome date in the whole room. He touched her like he meant it too. It made her feel like the most beautiful person in the bar.

  After the song had ended, he spun her, tucking her against his body. “Beer now.”

  “You’re easy to please. That’s a good quality in a woman.”

  “You’re pretty good with the pleasing. Also a good quality in a man.”

  Lily leaned into Nathan’s side, laughing at something Anne had said. The group had enlarged considerably. Shane Chase was there with his wife Cassie, Maggie and
Kyle Chase were there as well.

  A raucous greeting went up as they got back and seated. Lily pushed a beer her way, and Beth sure wasn’t going to complain that she was extra close to Joe. This was nice. Out with her man. Out with their friends. It was comfortable and fun and really lovely.

  They danced and drank beer and ate wings and nachos for hours, laughing and visiting. But with each passing hour, all she wanted was to be alone with him. To have Joe all to herself. Preferably naked.

  Finally she tiptoed up as they danced, tugging on his ear to get him closer. “I think we should go back to your place. You know, Buck is probably lonely.”

  “Yeah?” His slow smile sent a shiver through her. “You should probably sleep over. He’s missed you.”

  “Oh, Buck misses me.”

  He walked her back to the table to say their goodbyes but paused at her car. “I’m going to run home and grab a few things. I’ll meet you at your place in about half an hour.”

  He kissed her quickly. “All right. Drive careful. Oh and Beth? Buck isn’t the only Harris male who’s missed you.”

  She had to force herself not to rush. It had been two weeks since they’d had anything more than stolen time. The chemistry between them was still solid, much to her relief. They’d had a few hard and fast sexual interludes, but sleeping over was different.

  Waking up with him was really nice. He was big and warm, and he liked morning sex. There wasn’t any hurry-hurry-gotta-go-soon pressure. Just hours and hours.

  She grabbed a change of clothes, her toothbrush and toiletries bag and headed over to his place.

  He opened up, barefoot, all well over six feet of him looking relaxed and slightly tousled.

  “Man.”

  He paused, cocking his head. “What?”

  She moved into the house. “You. You looking all hot and sexy. I like it.”

  Buck danced over in his adorable way, yipping, his tail wagging so hard his entire back end weaved as he moved.

  She knelt, pulling a treat from her pocket. “Hello, baby.” She gave it to him, bending to kiss the top of his head.

  “You’re spoiling him. Every time someone knocks on the door, he thinks it’s you. And when it isn’t, he gives me a dirty look.” Joe gave her a hand up and pulled her close.