The Way We Roll
When I got home that day, I wanted to make dinner for my mom. I was in such a good mood. She and I hadn’t spent any time together, and pretty soon I’d be going back to school. I had the kitchen smelling like we were in Italy with the Italian sauce I’d hooked up, but when she came in, she just started complaining.
“Could you have picked up anything, Malloy? I mean, the same clothes that were sitting on this couch when I left still need to be folded. I didn’t ask you to cook for me. I’d rather you just do what I asked you to do. Nothing extra. Just what I asked. You think you can handle that?” she said sarcastically as she left the kitchen.
I couldn’t win with her. I was salty. It angered me furtherwhen she came back in to get a glass of water.
“You know what, Mom? Let’s just be real with each other. Is me pledging the only thing that will make you happy?”
“What, you’re considering it?” Her tone immediately changed for the better. “You want to talk to me about what’s involved? Yeah. Let’s sit—have dinner and talk about it.”
“Mom, why does it have to be on your terms? I just wanted to cook you a good meal with no strings attached. I’m your daughter. You’re supposed to love me unconditionally,not only in the event that I become a member of Beta Gamma—-ugh!” I tossed a hot pan in the sink, splatteringthe contents, and went toward the doorway.
“No, you come back here and you show me some respect.If you want to talk about this—why I’m so passionateabout my desires and the things that I want for you—then you listen fully. Not halfway.”
Walking back toward her, I said, “Okay. Shoot, Mom. What? Goodness gracious, spit it out.”
“That’s just it, Malloy. You’re a lovely girl with such potential, but you are so unpolished.”
“Mom, if you would have been home when I was younger, teaching me how to hold a cup in my hand when drinking tea, instead of out with some débutantes, maybe I would have more etiquette. I don’t think it’s my fault.”
“In addition to our sorority’s five core issues—leadership,sisterhood, education, Christianity, and public service—webelieve in poise as well,” she said as if I didn’t know anything about the organization she loved. “I know that some things a mom just can’t teach a daughter. There’s this wall between us now that I can’t seem to break through. Beta Gamma Pi is all about love, and you definitely need to learn how to let people in. You think you’re big and bad and that you know everything, but, sweetheart, I know how broken you are. I hear you crying some nights, and my heart keeps breaking because I can’t fix this for you. I strongly believe the sorority will fill a void. All across the country, they’re letting girls into the sorority with half your passion, charisma, intellect, and drive.”
I couldn’t believe it. My mom was giving me compliments.
“And as much as I love my sorority, I know how much it can be changed and made even better. If you channel all that’s in you for the right reason, and you find a purpose, you, too, can be better. Though you’re my child, Malloy, you’re way stronger than me, and you love harder than me. Beta Gamma Pi needs that. Why can’t you just give it a try?”
3
PERIOD
It was the third of July, the day of my twentieth birthday.I was actually looking forward to it. It was the first time in a long time my mother had planned to spend the whole day with me. And because we’d had so much tension between us over the last few years, and I’d be headed back to college soon, I guess she realized it was really now or never. We needed to get our relationship together,or we’d probably always be distant. And though I thought her first love had always been the sorority, she desperately wanted to prove me wrong.
“Mom, I’m ready,” I said when I entered her office with an overnight bag. We were supposed to be headed to a spa and then staying overnight at a bed-and-breakfast in Conway, Arkansas. I couldn’t wait to be pampered and to really get to know my mom. But she wasn’t getting up from her desk. She didn’t have the urgency in her voice that I had—she didn’t seem excited like me. It didn’t take me long to figure out that our plans were off.
“What’s going on, Mom?” I asked, trying not to get angry. She finally stood up from behind her big mahogany desk—which was covered with papers with the Beta Gamma Pi emblem on them. It was a good thing her divorcesettlement papers paid her enough to sit on her behind.She certainly didn’t have time to hold down a real job and simultaneously take care of the Betas’ every beck and call.
“What is it now, Mom? You got to do something for them Betas?”
She tried to put her hands on my face. “Oh, sweetie, I need you to understand. I still want to spend time with you, but we’ve got a problem with the hotel and the conferencecenter from the National Convention. They’re threatening to sue us, and I need to take care of this right away with the other officers.”
“Mom, I don’t understand, and I’m not going to let you off the hook like today didn’t matter to me. But do what you got to do. It’s not like if I say, ‘Don’t go,’ you’re going to celebrate my birthday with me anyway. So what does it matter?” I tried walking away from her, but she latched on to my pinkie and slid closer to me.
“Sweetheart, you got to understand I love you so much. It’s just a big responsibility being the National President of an organization.”
“It’s always politics and business with you, Mom. I used to think family mattered in your life, but now I guess today I’m older, wiser, and can clearly see family is nowhereon your radar. We had plans that you made! Now instead of settling everything with a conference call, you have to go in person and meet with people and put on your charm. Well, try to win them over, because you know what? You’ve lost me for good.”
I knew I was speaking from a place of hurt feelings. I knew I cared too much to cut her out of my life for good. So when I stepped into the hallway, I was surprised that she followed me. My mom always let me have my own tantrums and go my own way. She never really bothered me. But this time was different. This time I was shocked when she said, “I’ve made arrangements for your brother to come pick you up. He should be here any minute. You two are going to go instead. I know ya’ll hit a rough patch at the convention. I don’t know what went on or what went down, but ya’ll need to fix it. He’s up for that, and I need for you to be, too.”
Actually intrigued, I said, “Mikey is coming here to take me to some resort?”
“Well, he might have different plans, but he says you’re going to love it.” She took my hand and laid five one-hundred-dollarbills in it. Of course I smiled.
“And, no, I’m not trying to buy your love,” she said. “But I do want you to know that I care about my baby, and I’m so sorry some of my other responsibilities get in the way of things we’ve planned. I do want to be with you, or I wouldn’t have set all this up. And some way, some how the Lord is going to allow me to make it up to you. I promise.”
“The Lord? Mom, when is the last time you’ve been to church? Come on, be real.”
“You don’t have to go to church to believe. Dang it, now. Quit being so sassy with me, trying to tell me how I feel and what I want.”
“I know you don’t want to be with me, or you wouldn’t be going somewhere else.”
“We just went through this, Malloy. You are twenty years old now, for goodness sake. I don’t want to dismiss what you’re feeling, but I can’t let it dictate how I deal with things that are more important. So go blow the money and have a happy birthday and a good time with your brother. Just please know that I love you. Don’t overanalyze anything else. Simply enjoy it all. End of discussion.”
“Come on, Malloy, now, you got to admit this shoppingspree on Mom’s dime is the best,” Mikey said as we went from one store to the other, loading up the credit card Mom had given him. I didn’t even have to touch the five hundred.
“And she didn’t give you a limit?” I asked, my hands full of shopping bags.
“Well, I called, and the card has a ten-thousand-do
llar limit. We’ve spent only one.”
“Mikey, have you lost your mind?”
“Naw, I just want my sister to have a happy birthday.”
“Okay, what do you want? And why are you acting so weird? Besides you getting a new wardrobe, what’s the real reason you took me out?”
“Naw, naw, I’m hanging out with you ’cause I miss my sister. I want you to come hang out with me for a couple days. You’ll dig my place. Athletes get to have our own places up at the University during the summer. And I’ll sleep on the couch while you take the bed. It’ll be like old times. We’ll have a ball, for real. Let me show you how I’m rollin’.”
My brother had been so busy with football and living a life that had nothing to do with me, this didn’t make any sense. He never wanted to hang out with me. Why had that changed? I’d had plenty of birthdays without him, and he hadn’t even given me so much as a card.
When we got to Mikey’s place, there was a lot of noise coming from the front door. “Mikey, what’s going on here? I thought we were going to relax, hang out, pop some popcorn, and chill,” I asked.
“We’re older now. We should have a little fun. I’m havinga party in your honor.”
“A party in my honor? I don’t know none of your friends.” And before I could say, “I do not want to see Kade Rollins,” my brother opened the door, and the first person that said happy birthday was Kade.
“Oh, uh-uh,” I said as I turned around and walked back out. I didn’t even have my car up there, but I knew I wasn’t staying in any confined place to allow Kade a chance to tell me more lies.
“Where you going?” My brother said behind me.
“You could have told me. I’m too old for childish, manipulativegames, Mikey. Plus, you don’t like Kade anymore,or a least I thought that was the way ya’ll ended things.”
“That was over a month ago. Besides, we’re teammates, girl. He crossed the line, but he explained to me that he really does care for you.”
“Are you kidding me? And you believe him? You’re the one that told me what a big player he was. He humiliated me. I’m not going down that road again.”
“Hey, birthday girl!” Some girl headed toward Mikey’s place handed me a big present. Then some big guys lifted me up. I was carried into my brother’s apartment. This was over the top.
“Put me down! Now!” I demanded.
“Malloy, those are some of my teammates. Everybody is coming to celebrate your birthday. You can’t leave.”
“We like any reason to party here,” said the girl who had handed me a present.
More girls wearing Beta Gamma Pi jackets came in and handed me more gifts. I didn’t understand what was happening.
“I’m Jackie,” said the first girl with the present. “Don’t look confused. These are all for you.” Jackie leaned closer. “See, there’s two reasons why we got to give you presents,girl. Your mom’s the National President, and your brother is hot.”
“You guys didn’t have to get me anything. Naw, I can’t accept these.”
“Open mine.”
“No, I don’t want anything. Thank you.” I set them all on the floor. I didn’t know my way around this place, but I found a bathroom and shut the door. I just wanted peace. Mikey had gotten me good.
“Hey, ya’ll, it’s getting too crowded here! We got to move the party to the clubhouse!” my brother screamed out. I heard everyone tearing out of the door, and I was so excited. Finally I’d be alone. After about ten minutes, I opened the door, and standing right before me was Kade. Before I could shut it again, he put his foot in the door.
“Malloy, please. I really want to talk to you.”
“And can’t you see I don’t want to talk to you? You’ve called me a bunch of times. I didn’t know how you got my number, but now I see you and my brother are cool again. You had your little fling, played your little game, but all that is over and done with. Kade, I really don’t want to hear anything else you have to say.”
“I just can’t stop thinking about you, Malloy. Even when I’m supposed to be practicing football, thoughts of you come in and distract me. I can’t seem to shake the fact that you’re angry with me.”
“So this is all about your ego? That I turned you down? Maybe I just didn’t end it the right way.” I took my hands, grabbed his face, and kissed him without thought. “Now maybe that’s a proper way to say good-bye. We’re finished.”
I pushed him out of the way and walked out the front door. I needed to find my brother so I could leave so I followedthe signs and walked toward the clubhouse. There was nothing Kade could ever do to get my attention again, and I meant that.
As soon as I walked into the clubhouse, Kade came rushing up behind me and grabbed my arm. I yanked it away and said, “Leave me alone.”
“Kade, there you are,” Sharon said, appearing out of nowhere with her posse of other Betas from my school.
Sharon looked me up and down. I didn’t crack a smile, and neither did she. I didn’t know if they thought I was supposed to bow down to them or what. She actually looked surprised when the Betas—from the University of Southeastern Arkansas—came over to me and ushered me onto the dance floor.
“It’s your birthday! Let’s have a party!” They all lined up and started bebopping all over the place.
Jackie chanted, “Ain’t no party like a BGP party ’cause a BGP party really rocks. So come on, get your swerve on, and let your body drop.”
All the other Betas screamed, “Beta Gamma Pi in the house!”
“I need to go sit,” I said to Jackie, trying to get out of their circle.
The University of Southeastern Arkansas Betas saw the cold stares I was getting from the Western Smith College girls. “I’m Tanya, Vice President of the U of A Kappa chapter,and I wish you went to school here. Obviously our sorority sisters from Alpha chapter don’t know how to take care of royalty.”
Huffing, I said, “I don’t want you kissing my but ’cause my mom is big-time in your organization or whatever.”
Tanya said, “It’s not just that. You snagged the king.”
“What are you talking about?”
“The only thing Kade has been talking about all summeris you. Mikey’s little sister this, Mikey’s little sister that. Don’t you know how many girls here want him? Just look at how many girls are looking over there at him now. And my snooty sorority sister Sharon is desperately trying to hold on to what’s obviously over.”
“And you think I want to get with him so I could be the flavor of the week? No, been there, done that. Uh-uh.”
“I don’t know, though. Whatever you did to him, he hasn’t forgotten. He and I have been friends for a long time. I went to high school with both of them.”
“Sharon, too?”
“Yeah, we go way back. Her mom is my soror, too. They got a lil’ money. My mom isn’t a Beta.”
“That’s a good thing, if you ask me.”
“I used to think so. Pros and cons on both sides. Her mom always looked down on me ’cause my mom wasn’t Greek. It’s weird, but Sharon’s a snob, and they ain’t that rich. That’s why she wants the kind of money Kade’s gonna make. She doesn’t deserve Kade. He’s such a cool guy.”
“Well, sounds like you need to date him.”
“Naw, he’s like a brother to me. We both came from the wrong side of the tracks. He’s finally got his chance to soar and fly. He needs somebody like you to take him higher.”
“Are you kidding me? You don’t even know me, girl.”
“Hey, Tanya, we’re about to do our step.” Hayden came over, a little aggravated that Tanya was giving me so much time.
“I’m talking right now, Hayden. Y’all can wait a second.”
Hayden pushed. “We got to get back on the road.”
“Cool, do it without me. Jackie’s out there, and I’m talking.”
Hayden huffed and walked away. She joined the other Betas, and they did more chants. I knew I wasn’t winning brownie
points with any of them, because every time one passed by, they rolled their eyes at me.
“All right, now. If looks tell it all, seems like it’s gonna be very hard for you to make line, girl,” Tanya said, keepingit real with me.
“Yeah, I know. It’s the one thing my mom wants from me more than anything. I don’t think I’ll be able to give it to her.”
“Just be you and it’ll work out. They didn’t want me either, but I’m here, working my tail off for the community.”
“I don’t understand, Kade! I don’t get your choice! What does she have that I don’t have?” I heard Sharon scream when the DJ stopped the music.
“I’m just saying it’s over, all right, Sharon? Why are you trying to control me? I don’t want no scene here. You can’t keep telling people we’re still together when we been broken up,” Kade said as she grabbed him.
He got Sharon off him and then gathered the rest of his teammates and left the scene. I knew then that the chick was way desperate. I wouldn’t put anything past her.
Sharon rushed up to me. “I hate you. I can’t believe he’s leaving me for you. You’re so full of yourself, and you’re just a dang ole’ sophomore. You met him, what, a month ago? I’ve known him for years. I’ve invested all my time in him. I’ve given him everything, and he’s just gona dump me, talking about he wants to be with you.”
“Wait a minute, don’t come over here making accusationsand putting your finger all in my face. You don’t have anything I want. Your sorority or your ex.”
“I wouldn’t go telling people you don’t want to pledge when you know that’s what you want to do,” Tanya whispered behind me.
“What my mom wants for me and what I want for myselfare two different things.”
“Oh, that’s good,” Sharon said as she shoved me and got in my face, “’cause you will never wear these letters. Don’t come to the rush! Don’t turn in a packet! And do not show up to none of our functions on campus! I don’t want to see you anywhere near Beta Gamma Pi stuff. You’ve been blackballed. You are not wanted, period.”