Tart

  “I can’t. Oh my god, he can’t see me this way.” She stood up and Gillian shook her head, her hands on her hips.

  “He knows you’re here. Your car is out front. He’s your boyfriend for heaven’s sake. You have to tell them both.”

  “I can’t!” Panicked and ashamed, she glanced toward the door and then back to Gillian, who shook her head.

  “I’m not going to. Sweetheart, you have to. This is not your fault.”

  It was too late as he let himself in. The smile fell away from his features as he came into the kitchen and saw her. “What? Baby, what is it?”

  Gillian moved out of the way as he rushed to Jules’s side.

  “Is everyone all right? What is it? What’s wrong?”

  Gillian said nothing and Jules knew she’d have to share.

  “I was just telling her something about my brother. I need to clean up. I’ll be right back out.” Jules skirted past and into her bathroom.

  Gideon turned to Gillian. “I’m about to have a heart attack. What’s wrong?”

  “She’ll tell you. Just . . . be there for her. I’m going to go.”

  “Don’t leave without telling her. She’ll be more upset that you left.”

  Gillian took his hand. “You’re perfect for her. Thank you for that. She deserves someone who loves her like you do. Anyway, she’ll want to be alone when she tells you. Can you tell her I’ll be calling later and to not even try screening?”

  With a kiss to Gideon’s cheek, Gillian was gone.

  Gideon grabbed his phone from his back pocket. Should he call Cal? He decided yes, that in Cal’s place, he’d want to be there too.

  “Something is up with Jules. I stopped by her place and she was with Gillian. Crying her eyes out. She’s cleaning up now.”

  “Is she physically hurt?” Cal’s voice had gone sharp.

  “Not that I can tell. Gillian would have said.”

  “I’m on my way.”

  Gideon hung up but before he could get down the hall to where she was, she came out.

  “Cal’s on his way.”

  Her eyes widened. “I didn’t say it was okay to call him. I don’t want to make a big deal out of this.”

  Gideon snorted and pointed to the bedroom. “Get in there. I’ll be in in a moment with some tea. We’ll snuggle and you’ll tell me and Cal what’s wrong. I’m not going to let you wall us out.”

  She sighed, sounding so very tired, but turned to go into her bedroom. Satisfied for the moment, Gideon put away the food and grabbed the tea Gillian had already made before going to her.

  Before Gideon had even reached the door, he heard Cal letting himself in.

  “Where is she?” Cal moved to Gideon, pausing to kiss him quickly.

  Gideon jerked his head toward the bedroom. “She hasn’t said anything yet. I’m bringing in tea.”

  They headed to her and found her propped on her bed, her feet tucked beneath her body.

  Jules held a hand up. “Before you start in, I’m not walling anyone out. But wouldn’t it be nice if I didn’t have an issue? Just once? Don’t you get tired of it?”

  Gideon handed her a mug and joined her on the bed. Cal came in, one brow raised.

  “What’s going on, pretty? Hmm?” Cal settled on one side and Gideon the other.

  “Stop trying to fix me.” She frowned and Gideon couldn’t help but laugh. As if they’d let her hurt without trying to help.

  Gideon shook his head. “Juliet, sweetness, if you wanted men who didn’t meddle, you chose the wrong ones.”

  “Oh, I like your cocks and all. The nosy part is annoying.”

  Cal leaned in and kissed her soundly. “You’re stuck with us. Now, tell.”

  And when she’d finished and was fighting tears, all Gideon could see was red. That she’d carried this a week without telling them. That her brother could be so thoughtlessly cruel to stop her from seeing those boys she loved so dearly for something that had absolutely nothing to do with him.

  “Why the fuck didn’t you tell us this before today?” Cal’s jaw was clenched tight.

  “What can you do about it? Nothing. Am I giving you up? Hell no. There is nothing to be done. I can’t force my way into his life if he doesn’t want me there. They’re his children. It’s his job to raise them how he sees fit. All telling you would do was make you sad and angry.” She shrugged.

  Cal sighed heavily. “We can do something, Jules. We can love you and support you. We can share your burden. Why won’t you let us?”

  “Some things can’t be fixed. He kicked me out of his home at nearly midnight. I’m just grateful it was after the party so I got to share that one last thing . . .” She broke off, tears in her voice.

  Cal looked at Gideon over her head, anger and anguish in his gaze. They both ached for her.

  Gideon was fortunate in his grandfather. Patrick knew what was going on and was totally supportive of Gideon’s life. He loved Jules and enjoyed Cal as well. He’d said whatever went on between them behind closed doors was none of his business as long as they all respected each other.

  He hadn’t told his parents yet though.

  And as far as he knew, neither had Cal, though certainly Ryan and Mary knew about the three of them.

  “Why would you hide this? God, I feel like an idiot. All this week it’s felt like something was wrong but I told myself it was the hectic lead-up to the party last night.”

  She took Gideon’s hands. “No. I just . . . When I said it out loud it became real and now I can’t avoid it. I wasn’t ready to say it just yet. It’s not about you. It’s about me. I’ve lost my mother and now Ethan and those boys.” She shook her head. “I just needed the time to work it through.”

  “I understand that you needed some space, but I want you to come to us. I want you to share with me and Cal. You were hurting and you never said. Every time I touched you, you didn’t let me help.”

  She smiled softly. “Every time you touch me you do help. Don’t you see? It doesn’t matter. It hurts and I’m devastated to imagine I won’t have any relationship with Connor or H. Jack. But I can’t live my life for my brother’s morals. I have to live my own life in my own way. It hurts. It still hurts today that my brother has rejected me. But what can be done? Nothing. And so you move on because that’s all you can do. I have so many people who love and accept me. It’s important to remember family isn’t about biology, but love.”

  Gideon thought for a while and realized for the most part she was right.

  After a bit, Jules spoke again. “We can’t get around the basic fact here. Our relationship isn’t usual. People—some people—will be offended. Hell, have you told people? I mean we’re fine with friends, which is more than a lot of people have. And I know Patrick is fine with us. But what about your parents, Cal? Have you told them yet?”

  Cal sighed. “I can’t lie, I’m concerned about this. I’m worried this will impact your business. I’m worried this will hurt the farm.”

  Gideon waved it away. “And your practice?”

  Cal shrugged. “Nah, I don’t think so. It’s not like the judges I go before are going to care even if they did find out. And if they don’t, clients most likely won’t. My private life has always been private. I’ve never discussed my romantic life with clients anyway. But you, baby, you have a bakery. People want to feel good about that. What happens when this gets out?”

  Jules snorted. “This isn’t 1950, for god’s sake. Mainly people won’t know. And those who do aren’t going to care. Some might, I suppose, but I’m not worried about that.”

  Gideon blew out a breath. “My granddad knows, but I haven’t told my parents yet. They know I’m seeing Jules, but not about Cal. I’ve been waiting until I go down there in August so I can tell them face-to-face.”

  Jules nodded. “I think face-to-face is good. And it’s not a requirement that you confess this relationship like it was a dirty secret. But we can’t avoid reality. We know there will be people who react
badly. People like Ethan who are not bigots and jerks in their daily life. But this pushed his buttons. He couldn’t handle it. He was . . . well, I’ve never seen him so angry. I was a little scared for a moment. Marci tried to intervene, but he was outraged. Some people will be. Maybe even those we aren’t worried about just yet. I just . . . look, I’ll understand if you two don’t want that.”

  “I need to tell you how much it makes me want to punch Ethan for scaring you. Did he hit you? Touch you in any way?” Gideon narrowed his gaze.

  “He didn’t. He was threatening and I was nervous about it. But I can’t believe he’d ever hit me. He’s being an asshole, but he’s not that guy.”

  Gideon shook his head. “Beg to differ. Of course he’s that guy. He did and said all that stuff. It’s not like he was on medication or anything. If he so much as makes you jump in the future, he and I are going to have a one-on-one.”

  Cal snorted. “Let’s go back to your comment for a moment, shall we, Jules? So you’re fine if I just dump you or Gideon so I can avoid some random dick being uncomfortable. That pisses me off. If I can live as an out bisexual man, I can have a girlfriend and a boyfriend too. I have been avoiding telling my parents, but that’s just a matter of not wanting to rock the boat when things between the three of us have been going so well. But even if they disowned me, I’m not going anywhere. I knew, going in, that this would be complicated. But it’s worth it.” He turned Jules to face him. “You’re worth it. You and Gideon are what I want, what I need. I know my sister and brother think you’re both wonderful. I know Patrick does. We know all our friends are fine. The rest we’ll have to work through.”

  Jules shook her head. “It’s easy to sit there and say everything would be fine if they disowned you. But you don’t really know what it feels like.” Her voice caught. “It sucks. I don’t want that for you. I don’t want that for Gideon either.”

  Cal hugged her. “I don’t want that. None of us do. But as you point out, it’s bound to happen with some people and we need to either break up or deal with it. I know my preference.”

  She smiled and Gideon relaxed a little. “Next time you’ll tell us right away.”

  “Maybe.”

  Cal snorted. “No maybe. You have to share. How can this work if we don’t share?”

  She put on a sunny smile. “Seems to me we share just fine.”

  Gideon was charmed but he didn’t want to show her that right then. “No jokes. Cal’s right, look, this thing we have? It’s not for slackers. It’s not going to work if we don’t all put all we have into it.”

  “You’re right.” She took his hand and then Cal’s. “You’re both right. Don’t get used to hearing that, by the way. I’ll try harder to share.”

  17

  Daisy flitted around Tart, talking to customers, straightening things. She’d put up a new piece of art and had stayed to help out and visit afterward. Gillian had also wandered in and was currently sitting at the counter, drinking tea and eating a scone.

  Jules loved that Tart was a place their friends often gravitated to during the day.

  She cruised over to Gillian, kissing her cheek. “In like ten days, darlin’, you’re gonna be Mrs. Rock Star. Can we help with anything?”

  Gillian smiled. “I’m remarkably calm. This is what Adrian told Erin yesterday. I’m still laughing about that. Everything I can do I’ve done. I have the dress. The food is in place, the flowers are taken care of. I have the best cake in the world, obviously. All the tux fittings are done. Ben has sort of taken over keeping everyone of the male persuasion on task. He’s adorable, that one. Erin gave us a trip to Fiji for a wedding gift. I told her people normally give things like gravy boats and vases. She reminded me she wasn’t normal.”

  Everyone laughed.

  “Speak of the devil!” Jules paused as Erin and Raven walked into Tart.

  “My ears were burning.” Erin grinned as she came in, filling every inch of the place.

  Jules put her hands on her hips, pleased to see them. “You should have a doctor look at that. You do know you’re not supposed to be putting anything in there. Not cotton swabs or penises. I worry about you.”

  Erin barked a laugh. “Ha! Oops. Who knew ear sex was a no-no.”

  Gillian spun on her stool to take them in. “I was just telling Jules about your present.”

  Erin winked at Jules and then looked back to Gillian. “She knew anyway. I told her back in May.”

  “She’s quite good at keeping secrets.” Gillian sipped her tea and held a smile back.

  “I do my best.” Jules waggled her brows. “Come in and sit down. What would you both like?”

  Jules got started on the drinks and Daisy grabbed them some pastries.

  “What brings you two over here today?” Jules asked over her shoulder.

  “I needed to deliver this stuff to the house. But no one was there. So I went over to the new house and Blue was there with Adrian so I dropped stuff off and Raven and I figured we needed to stop in here to eat and fuel up before we went back over to Seattle.”

  “What are you spoiling my son with now?” Gillian asked, shaking her head. Erin, as Miles’s aunt, spoiled him rotten. As Miles was a great kid, he didn’t take advantage. Even just six months before it might have been an issue with Gillian, who really took the time to raise her son to appreciate and earn what he had. But she’d come a long way, accepting the way Erin showered those she loved with gifts.

  Erin laughed, not chagrined at all. “I had an extra case. It was cluttering up my office. I figured he could use a new one so I brought it by.”

  “With a new bass and strap,” Raven added as she sipped her latte and pretended she wasn’t stirring shit.

  “God, you’re a tattletale!” Erin poked Raven’s side.

  “She’s scarier than you are.” Raven tipped her head in Gillian’s direction.

  “Oy! He has three bass guitars already. He doesn’t need another.”

  Erin rolled her eyes. “Of course he does. Plus at the new house the studio is full of instruments. He’ll keep it there. Don’t begrudge me, Gillian. I love that he plays bass. He’s such a great kid. I like giving him things.”

  Gillian snorted. “As if I had a choice.”

  Erin took her hand. “You do. If it truly bothers you, I’ll stop. Most of it.”

  Gillian smiled and Jules was so pleased to see the ease between the two of them. Gillian didn’t love easily. She took a while to warm up to people. And Erin, a lot like Jules had, just sort of made it impossible to not be friends. Gillian would have said if it bothered her. She had in the past, Jules knew. But she’d come to a place where it was easier to let the Browns do more for Miles and that was a wonderful thing to behold.

  Gillian sniffed, all prim and proper again. “You’re all right. I suppose this is the family business. He wants to be like you and his dad so much. I’m absolutely sure he was thrilled. He already thinks you’re magic.”

  “That’s ’cause I am.” Erin fluffed her hair, streaked with blue. “And you know I love your kid like crazy. Thank you for letting me spoil him.”

  Jules wiped the counter down. “Speaking of kids, where’s Alexander? Also, you have Cookie Monster hair. I love that.”

  “It was Alexander’s idea. I’m edging him toward Elmo next time. He’s out for a day with Todd’s mother. She took him to the zoo, I think. He loves his nana. Which is nice because she adores him right back.”

  They chatted a long while, laughing and talking about the wedding and the place where Erin was sending Gillian and Adrian for their honeymoon. Jules was reminded at times like this that her life was so full of people who cared about her. Not about who was in her bed, or how much she could do for them. But they cared about her.

  Reminders like that were important. She needed to always remember that.

  • • •

  Cal strolled in to Tart, pausing at the door to take them all in. The place was full of beautiful women. He loved women. Love
d being around them. Loved the way they talked, the way they smelled. He’d grown up around many of the women in this room. All lovely in their own way.

  But it was Jules he couldn’t keep his gaze from. Jules with all that pretty golden hair and the big, wide smile. Damn she was like a dream come to life.

  Jules caught sight of him and made her way over, coming into his arms and turning her face up for a kiss. “Why, hello there, gorgeous.”

  It felt good, the way she came right to him, the way she offered herself, giving affection.

  “Right back atcha.” He kept an arm around her as he looked to the others. “Good afternoon, all you lovely ladies.”

  They all said their hellos and he turned back to Jules. “I’m just making a quick stop. I have a client meeting in twenty minutes. What are you up to tonight? I thought we could have some dinner. Maybe go to a movie? We’ll keep it early. I’ll be at your place at five?”

  “Works for me. A date sounds like just the thing.”

  Gideon was away for two days, dealing with some business over in Eastern Washington, so it would be just the two of them.

  She packed him up a latte and some tarts before he got back to work. “Walk with me?”

  “Totally.” She linked her arm with his and they strolled back to his car.

  “I have very fond feelings about this alley now.”

  “The first place you kissed me.”

  “Ah, ah, ah. The second. The first place I kissed you was in the parking lot at the high school.”

  She’d been fifteen to his eighteen. So sweet and sexy. He’d known then that she was beautiful and funny. And wanted so desperately to be kissed.

  She stepped close as he bent to put the drink and pastry box in the passenger seat.

  “I wanted to be kissed and you said not to waste my time with boys my age who didn’t know what to do.”

  He banded an arm around her waist. “And you said no one else seemed to want to kiss you because they were all afraid of your brother.”

  She smiled. “I told you I was going to throw myself at some cute counselor at summer camp if that was the case and then you kissed me.”