Bloodmark

Breaking our kiss, I smiled up at him. “I love you too,” I said. It was so soon to say such things. I barely even knew him or anything about him, but I knew it was true. Everyone would say it was superficial love, a childish love, that we couldn’t possibly know what love was or how it felt to be in love, but they would be wrong. Every part of him joined tightly to my soul, and there was no turning back. He kissed me again, holding me too tight as he wrapped his hand at the back of my neck, pulling my face closer to his. My heart felt as though it might explode. Passion pulsed through my veins, and I felt myself losing control, but I had to pull away before I was completely lost to him.

  “Grey, if you ever change your mind, just tell me, and I won’t bother you again.”

  He looked at me, disbelieving, and shook his head. “That won’t happen.”

  I would love him for all of my days, even after he stopped loving me. I would always be his. And I would remember every moment, as long as he wanted me. I lay my head on his chest, listening to the rhythm of his ragged breath, and he buried his face into my wild hair, breathing me in.

  “You smell spicy, like bottled passion,” he said, taking another deep breath. “It lingers in my mind long after you’ve gone, and it urges me back to you.”

  “Oh?”

  “My spicy little redhead,” he said, burying his nose into my hair. I felt his breath on my neck, and I loved the way it felt to be wrapped in his arms. I yearned for more.

  9

  Attraction

  Grey dropped me off a block from my house so Baran wouldn’t know of our secret rendezvous, at least I hoped. I felt as if I were in a dream, but the raw feeling on my lips anchored the memories to reality. I jumped up to my windowsill, slipping into my room without a sound. Baran was in the house—I could smell him. I got into the shower to wash Grey’s scent from my skin. I didn’t want to, but I knew Baran would catch his scent.

  His advanced sense of smell would make it impossible to keep our secret, but why would he forbid me to be around Grey, unless he hated him? Grey even worked for Baran. It didn’t make sense. If he could just see how Grey made me feel or the look on his face when I smiled at him, maybe then Baran would understand and he wouldn’t try so hard to keep us apart. I didn’t know why Grey loved me or why I loved him, but that was just it. It didn’t matter why. He loved me, and that was all I needed to know. I quickly threw on a sundress and slipped downstairs.

  “Hi, Ashling. I didn’t hear you come in,” Baran said. “Your friend Ryan stopped by, asking if you needed a ride to the theater on Friday. He said he’d be happy to pick you up.”

  “Oh. That was nice of him.”

  “He’s a good kid,” he said, nodding. “You be careful around them, Ashling. They are fragile creatures—you could kill them easily,” he said. “I am going into Canada on Friday to stretch my legs and hunt. I don’t suppose you’d like to come?”

  I blushed. “Maybe next time. The movie would be a good opportunity for me to blend in.”

  He nodded. “I’ve searched the area. There are no signs of other werewolves. I’ll be back Sunday. You’ll be safe, but stay in town. The game warden is setting traps. You’d hate to wake up with a tag in your ear and a GPS collar.”

  His sense of humor was disturbing. “No problem,” I said. Baran studied my face, waiting for me to crack and tell him the truth, but I hurried to the door. “I’m going to thank Ryan for offering me a ride.” I darted out the door.

  I walked across the street to find Ryan in the garage, tuning his guitar. He smiled when I entered. “Hey, neighbor,” he said.

  His smile was oddly contagious; I couldn’t stop myself from smiling back. He quickly stood next to me, lightly touching my arm. I felt awkward suddenly and took a step backward. I didn’t like him being so close, it made me feel trapped, but he closed the distance again. He seemed friendly and harmless, but I was terribly uncomfortable.

  “Thanks for offering me a ride,” I said stepping backward. “But I already have a ride, so I’ll meet you there.”

  “Cool. Okay,” he said. “If you change your mind, you know where I live.”

  His fingertips grazed mine, and I felt panicked. “I’ll see you around. Thanks again, Ryan.” I ran across the street from his unwanted attention.

  His movements were magnetic; when I moved, he’d move. Maybe Grey was right—were they drawn to me? I hadn’t met a single human who didn’t want to be near me. With the exception of Lacey, but even she seemed curious.

  Going back into the house, I walked to Baran’s office door and knocked.

  “Enter,” he said.

  “Can I ask you something?”

  “What can I help you with?”

  “I keep noticing that humans are drawn to me . . . sometimes desperately trying to be near me. I don’t understand why.”

  He sighed. “They didn’t teach you anything. They tried to protect you from the world, but who will protect you from yourself?” He shook his head in disgust.

  “Teach me what?”

  “Don’t you understand? You’re different.”

  “I know that. I’m a werewolf, not a human. I got that part,” I said.

  “No, more than that. You know that no other werewolf in all our history was born able to shift into a wolf at birth. Transformations come at the age of change with puberty, but you were able to change from birth. You became a danger to our secret and to yourself. You didn’t understand when and where you could transform. So your father took precautions to keep you away from humans.”

  “Okay . . . why would a human want to be near us?”

  “They used to rely on us for protection and their connection to Old Mother’s elements, but the bond between werewolf and humankind was broken long ago. They no longer sense us as loyal. It’s now the natural state of predator versus prey. But you, Ashling, you are a dream to them. So alluring that they have to be near you to understand if you are real.”

  How could this be? I felt no different than any of the other wolves. I felt nauseous and out of control.

  “The Elder Gods say you are stronger than all of us, a potent essence born of Old Mother’s love. That is why the humans are drawn to you. It is a pheromone you give off that they don’t even realize they are smelling.”

  “So I stink? That’s why they want to be near me?!”

  “Don’t be a child. You know my scent?”

  “Yes.”

  “You are able to detect who I am by it—it’s my pheromone. The humans don’t realize they smell it, but it clouds their minds. Every pack’s essence is different. Killian’s base element is protection, and every wolf’s scent is unique. Some are stronger, some weaker.”

  “What is the Boru element?”

  “The Boru are wisdom, but yours is different. It’s spicy and sharp. It lingers long after you’ve gone, like an endorphin high. They seek you out so they can feel it again. I know your scent, I can smell it from about a mile. So can they, it’s just that they don’t realize it. They just know they need it.”

  “So they don’t really like me? It’s just a chemical reaction?”

  “They are fragile creatures, and without our balance and connection to Old Mother, it’s like a piece of their soul is missing. Without her, there is no harmony, and they have lost their integrity and ability to positively affect all those around them. As though they no longer know how to love.”

  Fear gnawed at me. Was Grey only reacting to my scent, or did we truly have a connection? It didn’t make any sense. Why didn’t Mother just tell me about any of this? Or Mund? How could he keep this a secret?

  I was different among humans because I was a werewolf, and I was different among wolves because I was born a wolf and my scent was stronger. Just what every girl wants to hear—that she stinks and doesn’t fit in.

  “Do wolves react to other wolves’ scents in the same ways as humans?” I asked.

  “No, certainly not. We don’t respond with false attraction, but when we choose a mate, we will ne
ver choose another. We only bind our souls to one, for life.”

  “Could a wolf bind with a human?”

  “A human’s soul can’t bind with a wolf’s. They don’t feel anything outside their own bodies.”

  He was wrong. My soul danced with Grey’s and our energy connected. I saw it in his eyes. “Why am I different?”

  “No one knows for sure, but I was there when you were born during the counsel gathering at Carrowmore under the Bloodmoon. All the packs of the world gathered at Old Mother’s sacred tombs to worship the humans she lost. Many have rested there since 4600 BCE. After those terrible wars among humans, Old Mother created the Elder God werewolves—like your grandmother, Mother Rhea—to form the packs and protect Old Mother’s humans. We gather there every eighteen years to pay our respect to their souls and to air grievances between packs, and the elders decide our fates. And it was there that your mother gave birth to you where Lady Calista’s blood burned the earth.

  “Some say you were spun from Old Mother’s soul, but all talked of the prophecy. It was written over nine hundred years ago in Calista’s blood, and it hasn’t been seen since. I suspect that journal Mund gave you is hers. Legend says a girl of snow-white skin and crimson curls born of Calista’s blood holds the fate of the world. So every pack in the world became interested in you. Some offered betrothals, some attempted to kill you, and some tried to possess you and your undeniable power. So your father faked your death in order to keep you safe. It wasn’t until Adomnan found you that anyone knew you were still alive. Which is why I am hiding you here.”

  “How could I hold everyone’s fate?”

  “I’d bet that journal has the answers I cannot give.”

  “The journal is in ancient Greek and Old Mother’s language!”

  “Well, if you want to know, you better start translating it. That’ll give you something to do this weekend to keep you out of trouble,” he said, smiling.

  “Great,” I muttered as I ascended the stairs to my room.

  At least my secret rendezvous with Grey wasn’t exposed. I loved him, and I didn’t care what any prophecy or pack law said. I would never love another the way I loved him. Although it may have been a misguided love, there was something strange about Grey. Some sort of a warning. I knew it was careless to give all of myself to him, but I couldn’t convince myself not to.

  I shut my door and turned to see Grey crouched in my open window. I gasped. My love was crouched like a predator of the night, waiting to devour me. His green eyes glowed, and my heart pounded with anticipation.

  “I just had to see you again,” he said.

  I rushed to his side and grabbed his face, kissing him as he wrapped his arms around my waist crushing our bodies together. Every cell in my body felt alive as we kissed. Passion filled me as our lips collided and my body warmed to his touch. He pulled away, looking deep into my eyes. I lightly ran my finger over his moist lips, desperately wanting to feel them on mine again.

  “I have to go,” he said, “but I’ll pick you up tomorrow.”

  “Goodnight,” I whispered.

  He leapt from the window into the tree and was lost in the shadows, but his scent remained. I grabbed a bottle of perfume and sprayed it erratically, hoping it would mask my secret encounter. I searched for him, yearning for his touch, but I was alone and my lips were raw from the attack. How long it seemed until I could be in his arms again, an eternity of waiting.

  I stood as still as stone all day, watching the clock tick, waiting and wondering if he would come. If Grey chose to be smart, he would forget he ever met me, but even after just one day, he was already a part me, and I was anxious to see him again.

  The sound of a motorcycle turning on my street interrupted my semi-psychotic thoughts, only to start a new string. Should I meet him on the porch, as if I’d been waiting? Or should I make him ring the bell? Should I act as if I were busy? That was probably better than the truth—that I had stood waiting like a fool for hours.

  Grey rang the doorbell, forcing me to decide if I would hide alone or if I would live my life. I opened the door. His hair was messily styled to several points that complemented his side burns. He wore an unbuttoned gray dress shirt with a light-blue screen-printed tee. I stared at the print on his T-shirt of a light-gray shield with a wolf head. The design made my skin crawl. His dark jeans were held on with a black belt, low around his hips, with a strange-looking silver belt buckle. It almost looked like a weapon. I shivered. I knew if the silver metal touched my skin, it would make me temporarily mortal.

  Grey reached out, slowly running his fingers across my collarbone, sending tingles down my spine. “You’ve never looked lovelier,” he said. His fingers lingered on my skin, leaving a burning trail everywhere they touched. “Shall we, love?” he asked, offering me his arm.

  “Thank you,” I said with a smile.

  We walked outside, and he slid on the bike, giving me his hand as I slid on behind him, wrapping my arm around his chest. I’d missed the warmth of his skin. I’d missed everything about him. How was it possible to be this stupidly in love with someone I didn’t know? And to trust him without any concern? But I did. I trusted him with my life and loved him with all my being, as though we’d been together for centuries.

  The drive was over too quickly, and we arrived at the parking lot across the street from the theater. I could see everyone in the entryway in little cliques waiting for us. Lacey’s jaw dropped so far, she must have been able to taste the floor. That would have made me laugh, but the hate in her eyes changed my mind. Ryan looked upset too. I had told him I had a ride to the theater; I just hadn’t elaborated with whom. Why did we have to endure this? We could just run away together, instead of making a spectacle of ourselves.

  “Maybe we should just take off,” I said.

  He laughed. “I was thinking the same thing.”

  I spotted Beth in the corner, separate from the rest of the group. She wasn’t friends with them, but she seemed like she would be a kindred spirit to Emma. I needed to get her in the group. Beth was abrupt and loud, but she was super sweet if people would give her a chance.

  “Come on. Let’s get this over with,” I said. Grey held my hand, binding us together.

  “Hey, guys,” Grey said. “Did you pick a flick?”

  Everyone stared at us, scrutinizing our every move. I gnawed at my lip from nervousness before Emma finally said, “We were thinking we’d see the chick flick.” All the guys groaned—they obviously hadn’t been asked to vote. I laughed.

  “I know, right?” Emma said, smiling.

  “I’m up for a chick movie,” Grey said, gently squeezing my hand.

  “Good, it’s settled,” Emma said.

  “Hey, Emma, you know Beth, right?” I asked as I grabbed her hand, pulling her with me toward Beth in the corner. “You guys are in the same grade, right?”

  “I don’t think I’ve ever had a class with you, Beth, have I?”

  “Maybe in elementary school,” Beth said. I could tell she knew Emma, she just didn’t admit it.

  “Oh yeah! Weren’t you in Mrs. Anderson’s first-grade class?”

  “Yes.”

  “Cool. Me too,” Emma said. “Come sit by me, and we can talk schedules this semester.” Emma grabbed both Beth’s and my hands and started dragging us into the theater.

  Lacey had cornered Grey, and they were obviously in a heated debate about something. I suppose they were talking about me. I grabbed Grey’s hand when I walked by, pulling him away from her.

  “Let’s pick out our seats,” I said.

  “Thank you,” he whispered in my ear.

  We all took our seats in the center of the theater, and Lacey took her seat right behind Grey. I supposed so she could try to burn a hole in my head with her eyes. I wished she would stop being so mean—maybe then we could even be friends. Grey and I didn’t try to find each other—it was fate. She had to understand that, right? Otherwise, she could make my whole experience in h
igh school a horrible one. Girls could be really catty and mean, at least that was what Tegan had said.

  “So Ashling, where are you from?” Lacey said.

  I turned around and smiled. “Ireland.”

  “Don’t you mean a whorehouse?” she said. My mouth fell open. Tegan was right.

  “Lacey, why don’t you shut up?” Grey said.

  Lacey scowled at him, but she didn’t say anything else to me. I never learned the art of being a mean girl. Which I had always thought was a good thing, but now I wasn’t so sure. She would likely try to make all the other girls not be friends with me, slowly weeding me out. Or she’d spread ugly rumors about me. I would rather just punch her and be done with it. That was how it always worked with Mund and Quinn. Wrestle, fight, swear, high-five. Easy. Girls . . . girls were complicated.

  But I wasn’t going to let her intimidation get between Grey and me. I wasn’t going to let her affect my mood and happiness. She didn’t have that kind of control over me. I was going to be so sugary sweet to her that she couldn’t possibly be mean to me. She would have to be my friend then. I would fight her anger with my friendship.

  Emma and Beth were becoming fast friends, whispering to each other during the movie. Grey leaned over and kissed my cheek. He was everything I had ever dared to dream about, but my instincts were still looming in the back of my thoughts. He was a mystery, but his green eyes always gave him away. There was something there, something dangerous. Luckily the movie was bright and vibrant, so he wouldn’t notice that my eyes glowed in the dark. I had to close my eyes only a couple of times to protect my secret.

  Once the end credits started rolling, Grey and I excused ourselves before Lacy could stop us. I quickly hugged Beth and Emma on our way out, and we ducked out the side door, running hand in hand across the street.

  “Where to?” Grey asked as we hopped on the bike.

  “Somewhere we can be alone,” I said, refusing to meet his eyes.

  “Let’s go to my place—my dad’s gone for the weekend,” he said. Without waiting for a reply, we were already driving down the road to Grey’s house. I wasn’t sure where he lived or what secrets he might have been hiding in there, but I was eager to get him alone.