The Rocker Who Shatters Me

  The sound of his voice, so thick and rich, made my nipples bead and my panties flood with my need for the man standing so unwaveringly in front of me. My head clouded with desire that only Devlin had ever produced in me, making any thoughts of telling him to go fuck himself once more to vanish like a puff of smoke.

  “Answer me, damn it,” Devlin commanded, his head lowering until I could feel the heat of his breath on my lips. “Natalie, I can’t handle this. Just tell me before I fucking go off the rails.”

  “Dev…” My tongue drifted out without my permission to dampen my suddenly dry lips. With a moan I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer. The scent of his cologne only heightened my overwhelming need to kiss him. “Shut up, Dev,” I breathed as I sealed our mouths together.

  He stiffened against me for just a moment before he took control of the kiss. His arms encircled my waist, his hands moving down to cup my ass and pressed my lower body against his thick cock. He swallowed my next moan as he thrust his tongue deep into my mouth and lifted me. My legs wrapped around his waist as if it was the natural thing to do. Because it was. My body knew instinctively that Devlin meant pleasure, just as my heart knew he meant pain.

  With my legs wrapped around him tightly, my skirt shifted upward. His big, talented hands pulled it the rest of the way up until his fingers were pulling away my panties and he was cupping flesh. I rubbed my pussy over his jeans-clad cock. More liquid flooded my passage in anticipation of him filling me and I knew that he would know exactly how much I wanted him. In that moment I didn’t care. I just wanted to come, and I wanted to come right then.

  I didn’t know which sensation to concentrate on the most. The feel of his cock rubbing against my clit in just the right way. His hands squeezing and massaging my ass. His tongue thrusting in and out of my mouth, mocking the love making that I so desperately wanted. He tasted of beer with a hint of well-aged bourbon and of the man I still stupidly loved. It was all so overwhelming, so deliciously overwhelming and I could feel myself getting closer. Closer.

  With a curse Devlin lifted his head. We were both breathing hard, but I didn’t care if I ever breathed again as long as he kept kissing me. “Dev—” I started to beg him for more, but there was no need as he lowered his head once more and licked his way down my neck.

  My fingers thrust into his hair, raked over his scalp as he licked lower, to the top of my low cut shirt and dipped into the valley between my breasts. His hips thrust against the swollen flesh of my pussy, making my nails sink deeper into his flesh without thinking. Devlin made a growl in pain-filled pleasure and I wanted to apologize but I couldn’t form the words.

  “Nat, do I need anything?” He lifted his head, long dark hair falling into his face as he looked at me with the same intense desire that I was feeling shining at me through his eyes.

  “No,” I breathed, trying to think clearly. “No, I went to the doctor.” There was no reason for protection now. The fog was slowly starting to fade but my body was screaming at me to stop thinking and just let Devlin inside.

  His lips covered mine again, putting an instant halt to anything else that might have filtered through my mind. His tongue thrust deep even as he released my ass with one hand so that he could free himself from his jeans and boxers. I kissed him back, sucking his tongue hard so that I could taste more of him.

  With a groan he pulled away, and we both looked down as he tore my panties away and guided his vein-bulging cock to my opening. I sank my teeth into my bottom lip to keep from crying out in ecstasy as the tip of his beautiful dick entered me. Devlin’s lashes lowered as he pulled back. Even in the dim lighting of the alcove I could see that the tip was coated in my need for him. He rubbed his wet cock over my clit, his breathing growing more labored as he watched his thickness spreading the lips of my pussy.

  The sight heightened my own desire and I whimpered as I felt more liquid heat flooding my opening. “Fuck, that’s hot.” He stole a quick, hard kiss. “Are you ready for all of me?”

  I opened my mouth but no words would come. Licking my lips, I nodded. He cupped both my ass cheeks in his big hands as he thrust forward, filling me. I clung to his shoulders, my face burying into his neck as I sank my teeth into the flesh just under his ear to keep from screaming. Fuck, he felt so good.

  Devlin’s hold on my ass tightened and I knew that I would be feeling his hands there for a long time afterwards. My back slammed into the wall behind me as he pulled free and started thrusting at a pace that had me quickly reaching a height that only this man had ever taken me to. I moaned my encouragement at how hard he was fucking me, wanting him deeper, wanting to be a part of him like this for eternity.

  “Please tell me you’re close, baby,” Devlin’s voice rumbled at my ear. “I don’t know how much longer I can hold back.”

  “Harder, Dev.” I kissed the spot my teeth had just sunk into. He would definitely have a memento to carry around for a while from the love bite I’d just given him. It was a wonder I hadn’t drawn blood. “I’m close. Don’t worry about that. Fuck me harder.”

  I was hanging right on the edge. His thickness sliding in and out of my drenched pussy, the way he pressed down against my clit before pulling out and filling me all over again was pushing me higher. I wanted more, and knew that when this was over I would crave so much more. As soon as I came down from the high of my approaching orgasm I was going to feel empty again, but I would deal with that later.

  He tightened his hold on my ass even more and tilted my hips up ever so slightly. It forced me to take him even deeper, the ridges of his cock hitting at a different angle that kept me whimpering in pleasure as he fucked me as hard as I’d asked for. “Dev..!” I couldn’t contain the scream that escaped me as the beginnings of my release started to consume me.

  “Yes,” he groaned, pumping even harder. “Yes, baby. Fuck, you feel so good. Damn, I’ve missed you.”

  My orgasm kept coming, his wild thrust prolonging it. His lips brushed over my ear, his breathing coming in gasps as I felt his cock thicken even more deep inside of me. Seconds later Dev stilled, his breath caught in his lungs and I knew he was about to empty inside of me. “Nat…” He whispered my name roughly just as I felt the first spray of his release filling me. It was hot and thick, making his next slow thrust send me spiraling over into another orgasm.

  Natalie

  I slowly came aware of my surroundings as the euphoria of two amazing orgasms began to fade.

  Devlin was still deep inside of me, but I could feel a mixture of both our releases dripping down my thighs. I closed my eyes as a wave of shame washed over me. I’d just gotten fucked in some dark corner of a nightclub by a rock star. By the one man I was helpless to want, need—love.

  I talked a good talk¸ but I definitely could not back it up with actions. Otherwise I wouldn’t now be in the same position I was sure Devlin had been in countless times before with his band of groupies. I was better than this, so much better than this. Having sex—no, it had been plain and simple fucking—with Devlin in a public spot like this where anyone could have come along and seen us was not something I got off on.

  It wasn’t the first time we’d done something like this, though. But every time it had happened in the past I’d always ended up feeling just like I was now. Easy. Slutty. Ashamed of myself. Disrespected…

  The disrespect had never felt as overwhelming as it did right in that moment, though. It only showed me just how much Devlin Cutter didn’t care about me. He could fuck me in a public spot like this¸ not caring if someone saw me exposed, or that they could take pictures and maybe even sell them to some sleazy magazine. All he’d cared about was getting off and nothing more. Of course if I was honest, that was how I’d been feeling during the whole thing too. I’d been the one to start it by kissing him first, but now that the heat of the moment was cooling, everything else was flooding in and I felt used.

  Blinking back tears, I pushed against Devlin’s still heaving chest. Slowl
y he raised his head from my neck. “What’s wrong?” he demanded as he pulled back a little.

  “This.” I waved my hand between the two of us where we were still so obviously connected. “This is what’s wrong. I just let you fuck me where anyone could see us. Do you even care that we could have been caught? That someone could have gotten us on camera? That my brother might have tried to have sex with Harper back here?”

  “Stop worrying, baby. I kept an ear open.”

  I pushed at his chest harder and he finally pulled free of me, making him moan. I bit my lip to keep the same sound from escaping me. That empty feeling was already starting to replace the pleasure. Once he was no longer part of me I wiggled until he let me down. My legs were wobbly and I had to take a moment to get my bearings before I could take a step without falling. With a trembling hand, I fixed my skirt and noticed that my panties were a torn mess on the floor.

  Devlin tucked himself back into his jeans and bent to pick up the little piece of silk. I wasn’t surprised when he tucked it into his pocket. No doubt he considered my panties his trophy. I turned away, determined not to let him see the tears that I couldn’t keep at bay any longer.

  “Nat…?” I moved around him and started back down the corridor toward the bathrooms. I couldn’t deal with him or what I’d just done with him right now. “Don’t run away again. We need to talk.”

  “I can’t,” I whispered. I hated that I was running away yet again, but my pride couldn’t handle another second if I didn’t get away from him. The tears fell faster down my cheeks and I let them go unchecked as I found the bathroom and pushed inside. Leaning back against the closed door, I covered my face with my hands and finally released the sob that had been strangling me.

  “Nat,” Dev said, pounding his fist against the door. “Come out, or let me in. Damn it, let me in so I can take care of you.”

  “L-leave me alone, Dev!” I cried, slowly sliding down the cool metal door. When my ass touched the tiled floor, I tucked my feet under me and doubled over as I let the tears fall. “Just leave me alone,” I whispered.

  How long I sat there crying, I wasn’t sure. All I knew was that my back ached, my head was once again throbbing, and my face was sticky from all the tears that had washed away most of my makeup.

  For the majority of the time I sat there, sobbing like a broken child, Devlin had knocked on the door I was still sitting against. “Please, Nat. I hate it when you cry,” he’d groaned at one point. “Open the door and let me hold you.”

  Part of me had wanted to, but a bigger part figured I didn’t deserve the comfort that he was willing to offer. Shit, I was becoming bipolar or something. One minute I hated his guts, the next I was sucking his face and riding his dick like I’d never get the chance again; and then I was screaming and crying at him, wishing him to the deepest pit in hell. Now…I just wanted him to hold me.

  I didn’t let him, though. How was I supposed to figure anything out if I did? Everything was so confused in my head at the moment and it was throbbing so badly that I didn’t know up from down, let alone if I wanted to kiss Devlin or scratch his eyes out.

  Eventually I cried myself dry, for the moment at least. Devlin hadn’t knocked on the door in a while and I figured he’d already given up and either gone back into the VIP lounge or gone back to the bus. That my heart ached at the thought of him giving up so easily pissed me off—yay, yet another mood change.

  Angrily I stood and dusted my skirt off. It was hard to tell what I’d just gotten on my ass from sitting on a nasty club bathroom floor. I needed a hot shower and some Tylenol and a full week’s sleep. I’d only be getting the first two, and I had to make do with that much. Tiredly I rubbed a hand over my forehead, putting just a little pressure at my temples before moving to the sink and washing my hands.

  I refused to look myself in the eye in the mirror as I bent over the sink to wash my hands. I knew I probably looked like a hot mess. My face felt sticky from crying, my eyes felt swollen and irritated. My lips felt bruised from Devlin’s kiss and I sank my teeth into the fleshy part of my bottom lip in self-punishment for being so weak where he was concerned.

  There was no knowing what waited for me on the other side of the bathroom door. I didn’t want to open it, but knew that I had no choice. I still wasn’t sure how long I’d been in the bathroom. Five minutes? An hour? It could have been even longer. Grimacing, I straightened my shoulders and reached for the doorknob.

  When the door swung outward I wasn’t exactly surprised to find my best friend leaning against the wall with a concerned frown on his handsome face. His green eyes were silently asking me if I was okay so I gave him a forced little smile and nodded. Linc straightened and held out those big, thickly muscled arms and I walked right into them. Those strong arms closed around me and I buried my face in his delicious-smelling chest.

  Stupidly a fresh batch of tears burned my eyes as he rubbed his big hands up and down my spine. I’d thought I was all cried out for the night. Guess not.

  “Let’s go back to the bus,” Linc murmured after a few minutes of letting me silently cry.

  I nodded my head, only to wish I hadn’t when it began to throb even worse. Was my head going to explode? It wouldn’t have surprised me. “Yeah. I’m ready to say fuck this night.”

  Linc tucked me under his arm and guided me toward the closest exit, not bothering to make any excuses to the others. I was more than thankful for that. I could just imagine the look in Emmie’s eyes if she saw my face at that moment. I didn’t need angry Emmie on my case any more than I needed Shane questioning my tear-streaked face.

  There was a line of cabs outside the club and one pulled forward to let us in. Linc told the driver the address and then pulled my head onto his chest. My tears had dried up again, but now my head was hurting so bad that I was starting to see little yellow spots. Damn migraine. Looked like I was going to have to break out the big meds for this headache. I didn’t get them often, but when I did it meant practically putting myself into a coma to get rid of them.

  With the debilitating headache came a wave of nausea. Moaning, I yelled out for the driver to pull over and barely had the door open before I was retching. If I’d still had long hair I would have just gotten vomit all in it.

  It took a few minutes before I was confident I was finished and then the cab driver was moving at twice his earlier speed to get me out of his car before I started throwing up again. When we reached the buses, Linc lifted me into his arms because I’d nearly stumbled and fallen when I’d first gotten out of the cab.

  “You have to take better care of yourself, Nat.” Linc shifted me slightly in his arms as he opened the door to the bus. “This isn’t good for you.”

  “It’s just a migraine, Linc.” I tucked my head closer against his chest when the overhead lighting in the kitchenette hurt my eyes. “I need my meds.”

  Linc didn’t say another word as he carried me down the narrow hall to the sleeping area and placed me in my roost. He left me for a minute but when he reappeared he had a bottle of water and my migraine medicine. I looked at the bottle of pills apprehensively, wondering if I would be able to keep one of the tablets down. If I did happen to keep one down then I wouldn’t be up until at least noon the next day.

  There was so much to do, but the pain was so bad. I had no choice but to take one.

  Linc placed one of the tablets in my hand and I swallowed it with a silent prayer that it would stay down. “Tell Em,” I mumbled as I reached for my blanket and the little stuffed tiger I stupidly slept with every night. Yet another mood swing washed over me as I gazed down at the little tiger.

  Devlin had given me the ridiculous little stuffed animal on the first tour I’d ever gone on with OtherWorld. He’d tossed the little thing at me one night when he’d walked onto the bus after a concert. “There, kid. Something for you to cuddle up to at night,” he’d said with a smirk that I’d wanted to slap off his sexy-as-sin face.

  I’d flipped him off,
but actually slept with the soft stuffy every night since. It seemed childish, and since I was sick my guard was down and I had to admit that I still was childish in some ways. I needed to grow up, and fast, if I was ever going to figure my life out.

  Linc placed a cool, damp cloth over my face and I sighed as it eased some of my discomfort. Cuddling the little tiger closer, I closed my eyes and let the meds take effect.

  Devlin

  Like a pathetic fool, I knocked on the bathroom door again, my heart twisting like a fuck pretzel as I heard her sobbing. I didn’t understand why she was so upset. What had just happened between us back in that little alcove had been amazing. My spine was still tingling from the force of my release.

  With a curse, I punched the wall behind me. It didn’t give and my knuckles started to ache almost instantly. The pain calmed me a little, though. I felt as if I deserved it for making Natalie cry. Another sob carried through the door, making my heart bleed with the emotional pain she was in.

  All I wanted was to talk to her. Something that we should have done a long time ago. Nat kept running away, though, making it impossible to talk about what really needed to be said. I could understand why she continued to avoid the much needed conversation. I’d hurt her deeply with that fucking bet. Shattered her, made her think that she meant nothing to me.

  I should have manned up long before Zander had spilled the beans about the bet. I should have simply told her that I loved her. If I had, then when the news about the bet had come to light she probably wouldn’t have been as hurt and we might have still been together. If I was honest with myself, I was just as childish and cowardly as I’d accused Natalie of being in the past.

  ‘I love you’ didn’t come easily to my lips. My dad had never said the words to me, and my mother had been long gone by the time I was old enough to have memories. I was two when she decided that she didn’t want to be the wife and mother of the local mechanic. Instead she’d run off with some businessman from Nashville and now had three step-kids and a daughter. The bitch hadn’t wanted anything to do with me when I was a kid, but as soon as OtherWorld had made it big that had all changed. She’d even offered to leave her new family to come back into my life. I was suddenly famous, so it was okay to love me then.