A Scots Quair

  It was old Bob, he lay dead, his tongue hanging out, his legs doubled under him queerly, poor brute, and she shook at his halter a minute before she realised it was useless and there were still Bess and Clyde to see to. And then she heard the thunder and clop of their hooves coming across the grass to her, they loomed suddenly into the light of the lamp, nearly running her down, they stood beside her and whinnied, frightened and quivering so that her hand on Bess’s neck dirled as on the floor of a threshing-machine. Then the lightning smote down again, quite near, though the thunder had seemed to move off, it played a great zig-zag over the field where she stood with the horses, and they pressed so near her she was almost crushed between them; and the lantern was pressed from her hand at last, it fell and went out with a crash and a crinkle of breaking glass. She caught Bess’s bridle with one hand, Clyde’s with another, and the lightning went and they began to move forward in the darkness, she thought she was in the right direction but she couldn’t be sure. The next flash showed a field she didn’t know, close at hand, with a high, staked dyke, and then she knew she had gone utterly wrong, it was the dyke on the turnpike.

  The thunder growled satisfiedly and Clyde whinnied and whinnied, she saw then the reason for that, right ahead was the waving of a lantern, it must be Uncle come out to look for her at last, she cried I’m here! and a voice cried Where? She cried again and the lantern came in her direction, it was two men climbing the dyke. The horses started and whinnied and dragged her forward and then she found herself with Chae Strachan and Ewan, they had seen to their own horses on Upperhill and the Knapp, and had met and had minded hers on Blawearie; and up they had come to look for them. In the moment as they recognised one the other the lightning flared, a last sizzling glow, and then the rain came again, they heard it coming far up in the moors, it whistled and moaned and then was a great driving swish. Chae thrust his lantern upon Ewan, Damn’t man, take that and the lass and run for the house! I’ll see to the horse!

  Ewan caught Chris under the arm, he swung the lantern in his other hand, they ran for a gate that led to the turnpike, the horses galloped behind them, Chae dragging at their halters and cursing them; and the rain overtook them as they gained the road, it was a battering wet hand that beat at them, Chris was soaked to the skin in a moment.

  But in another they’d gained the new biggings of Peesie’s Knapp, there shone a light in the kitchen, Ewan opened the door and pushed Chris in, Bide here and I’ll off and help Chae! He disappeared into the blackness, the door closed behind him, Chris went forward into the kitchen and the glow of the fire. She felt daft and deaf in the sudden silence and out of the rain, in the stillness of the new kitchen with its meikle clock wagging against the wall, and its calendars and pictures all spaced about, it looked calm and fine. Then she realised how wetted she was and took off the raincoat, it rained a puddle on the kitchen floor, she was dressed below only in knickers and vest, she’d not remembered that!

  There came a rattle and clatter outside in the close as the men ran to the house, Chris slipped on the coat again and was tugging at the buttons as the two came stamping in. Chae cried, Damn’t, Chris, get out of that coat, you must fair be soaked. Here, I’ll stir up the fire, the old wife’s in bed, she’d sleep through a hundred storms.

  He bent over the fire then, poking it up, Chris found Εwan beside her, his hair black with the rain, the great cat, to help her off with her coat. She whispered, I can’t, Εwan, I’ve nothing on below! and he blushed as red as a girl himself, and dropped his hands, and looked like a foolish boy so that she lost her own shyness at once, and told the same thing to Chae when he turned him round. He laughed at her with his twinkling eyes, What, nothing at all?—Well, not very much, Chae.–Then come ben and I’ll get you a coat of the wife’s, you can slip into that.

  The rain was pelting on the roof as she followed him through to Mistress Strachan’s new parlour, it sounded loud enough to wake the dead let alone her that had been Kirsty Sinclair. Chae opened the wardrobe and brought out a fine coat, Mistress Strachan’s best for the Sunday, lined and fine and smelling of moth-balls; and then a pair of her slippers. Get out of your things, Chris lass, and bring them to dry. I’ll have something warm for you and Εwan to drink.

  Left alone with the candle she wished she’d asked for a towel; Chae was kind but a man had no sense. But she managed without, though stripping from vest and knickers and stockings felt like parting wetly from her own skin, almost, so soaked she had been. Then she put on the coat and slippers and gathered up the wet under-things and went through with them to the kitchen; and there was Chae one side of the fire with a bottle of whisky at his elbow, making toddy, and Εwan at the other, with his coat off, warming his hands and looking at the door for her to come ben. They didn’t look at her over-close, either of them, Chae pulled in one chair for her to sit on and another for her things to dry on, and when she’d spread them out he stopped in his toddy-making and said Damn’t, Chris, was that all you’d on? And she nodded and he said You’ll have your death of cold, sit closer.

  And that was fine, sitting next to Εwan, close to the blaze of the meikle larch logs that Chae had put on, they were swack with resin. Syne Chae had the toddy made and he handed a glass to Ewan first, as was right with a man, and another to Chris, with three spoonfuls of sugar in it, Mistress Strachan might have had something to say about that if she’d seen such wastry. But she was fast asleep up in Chae’s bed and knew nothing of it all till the morning, she made up for it then, folk said she accused both Chae and Ewan of cuddling and sossing with the Guthrie quean all the hours of the night.

  So that was the ongoing there was that night of lightning, nor was it the only one in Kinraddie, for the lightning, and maybe it was the big flash Chris had seen as she gained the brae leading down to the horses, drove a great hole through the Manse spare bedroom, and let in the rain and fair ruined the place. Folk said that when the Reverend Gibbon heard the bolt strike the house, he’d been awake and listening, he dived like a rabbit below the blankets and cried Oh, Christ, keep it away from me! Which wasn’t the kind of conduct you’d have expected from a minister, but there was a fair flock of folk the lightning scared that night in one place or another, Jock Gordon at Upperhill ran to his mother’s bedroom and wept all over the counterpane there like a bairn. And Alec Mutch of Bridge End went out about midnight to look for his sheep, but he was half-drunk when he went and got drunker every minute as he chaved about, not seeing a thing. And at last he came to a big stook out in the corn-parks and crawled into that, it was a stook that stood near the turnpike, and feint the thing else was seen of him till late the next morning when the postman was going by and the sun was shining fine, and out Alec’s face and meikle lugs were stuck from the stook and gave the postman such a turn in the wame he was nearly sick on the spot.

  But of all that Chris knew nothing, she’d plenty to think of with her own bit ploys. For after the rain cleared and her under-things dried she went through to the parlour and got in them again, and into the raincoat of father’s, and Chae lighted a lantern, fair yawning with sleep was Chae, and Ewan was to guide home to Blawearie both Chris and the horses. So out to the night again, the rain had cleared and freshened it, there was a wind from off the sea blowing in the stars, and clouds like the drifting of great women’s veils, fisher-wives’ veils, across the sad faces of the coarse high hills. Then the horses champed in the courtyard, Ewan had their halter-ropes in his hand, Chris was beside him swinging the lantern, they cried Ta-ta! to Chae and Chae nearly uncovered the back of his gums, so sleepy he was, poor stock; and he started to cry something to Chris about coming up the morn and seeing to old Bob whom the lightning had killed, they’d be able to sell him to the knacker in Brechin. But a yawn put an end to whatever he’d to say, it hardly mattered, it was morn already, you could see far down by Bervie a band of greyness stroke the horizon, as though an idle finger stroked it there on a window-pane.

  Tramp, tramp, with a nicker now and then and lo
ng snortings through their nostrils, the horses, glad to be roaded up to Blawearie, Ewan big by the side of Chris, she hadn’t realised before how big he was. He said nothing at all, except shy-like, once Are you warm enough? and she laughed and said Fine, she’d never again be shy with Ewan Tavendale. And it seemed to her even then it would be long before she forgot this walk through the night that was hardly night at all, an hour poised on the edge of the morning, like a penny on its rim, the flutter of the wind in their faces and the wet country sleeping about them, it smelt like Spring, not a morning in fore-winter. Then she was yawning, stopping from that, it was still a bit way to the house, she wondered if Uncle or Auntie had known she went out to the horses in the lightning. But she needn’t have worried, not a thing they’d guessed and didn’t till the morning came, Blawearie was black as the inside of a lum-hat when they climbed to it, the kye quietened down, it hardly seemed home at all she had come to, a strange place this, with Ewan beside her. She opened the stable door for him, he led in the horses and made a shake-down, and came out and closed and barred up the door, she held him the lantern to see to that. And then he turned round, they were standing there in the close, his arms went round her, below her arms, and she said Oh, don’t! and turned away her face; and he did nothing and she turned up her face to him again, peeping to see what he did.

  Dark still it was but she saw his teeth, laughing at her, and then she put down the lantern and somehow resistance went from her, she hadn’t wanted to resist, he was holding her close to him, kissing her, her cheeks and the tip of her nose because he couldn’t see well in the darkness. And then he waited a moment and his lips came to hers and they were trembling as her own were, she wanted to cry and she wanted to laugh in a breath, and have him hold her forever, so, in the close, and his trembling lips that came into hers, sweet and terrible those lips in hers. There was a great power of honeysuckle that year, the smell of it drenched all the close in wet, still weather, it perfumed the night and that kiss, she wouldn’t ever forget them both though she lived unkissed again till she died. And then she knew they were near to other things, both of them, Ewan’s breath was quicker than it should, he’d stopped from kissing her that kiss in the lips, his lips were urgent on her neck and breast; and she let him, she pulled aside the coat for him, standing so still, it was warm and sweet, she was his, he hers, for all things and everything, she never wanted better than that.

  And then, in that ultimate moment, close at hand Chris heard the Blue Wyandotte, already so cocky that he was, stir on his ree, he gave a bit squawk before he stirred and peeked for the day he would crow so lustily. Somehow that stirring brought Chris to her senses, she wasn’t afraid, only this could wait for another night’s coming, it was sweet and she wanted it to live and last, not snatch it and fumble it blindly and stupidly. And she caught Ewan’s hand and kissed him, he stopped with that kiss of hers on his cheek, his cheek with the soft brown skin; and she whispered Wait, Ewan!

  He let her go at once, shamed of himself, he had little need to be that, she saw him troubled and uncertain in the dim light and put her arms about him and kissed him again and whispered Come down and see me to-morrow evening, and he said Chris, when’ll you many me? and she quivered strangely and sweetly as he said that, his hands holding her again, but gently. And then something happened, and the happening was a yawn, she yawned as though her head would fall off, she couldn’t stop yawning; and a laugh came in the middle of it and that only made it worse. And Εwan let go of her again, maybe he was nearly in a rage at first, and then he yawned himself, they stood like two daft geese, yawning, and then they were laughing together, holding hands, not laughing too loud in case they’d be heard. And five minutes after that Ewan was far on his way to the steading of Upperhill and Chris lying in her bed, she’d hardly touched it when she thought of Ewan, she wanted to think of him long and long, only next minute she was fast asleep.

  IT DIDN’T SEEM that minute had passed when she heard Uncle Tam come chapping at her door, fair testy, Come away, come away, now; there’s a fire to light and your Auntie wants her tea. She sat up in bed, still sleepy and dazed, All right, Uncle Tam, and yawned and didn’t move for a minute, remembering the things of the night and day she’d forgotten in sleep. And then she threw off the blankets and got out from the bed, and stretched till each muscle was taut and quivering, she felt light and free and fine, not at all Chris Guthrie with the grave brown face and heavy hair, light and free as a feather; and without a stitch on she did a little dance at her window in the splash of early sun that came there—what a speak for Kinraddie were she seen! And she was singing to herself as she dressed and went slipping downstairs, Uncle was kneeling at the kitchen fire, like a cow with colic, and fair sour in the face. You’re in fine tune this morning, he glowered, and she said Ay, Uncle, I’m that, give the sticks to me, and had them out of his hand and the fire snapping into them all in a minute.

  Uncle went out to the close then, to look over the fields for the horses, and came back at a run, his little quoit medals swinging and clashing from his meikle belly, Mighty, Chris, there’s no sign of a horse! She didn’t turn round, just said You could hardly have looked in the stable, and heard him stop and breathe a great breath, and then go out again. And not a word more he said at the breakfast, he went up to their room to pack; but Auntie asked how the horses came to be in and was told Chris had done it herself, with Chae Strachan and Ewan to help. She seemed fair shamed to hear that, Auntie Janet, but angry as well, she whisked round the house like a wasp, Ah well, it’s plain you’ve no use for your relatives here, I only pray you don’t come to disaster. And Chris said That’s awfully fine of you, Auntie, and that made her madder than ever, but Chris didn’t care, she didn’t care though all the world, all Kinraddie and the Howe, went mad and choked itself with its bootlaces over the things that had been between her and Ewan.

  If it wasn’t in a rage it was fair in a stir of scandal by postman time, Kinraddie. Not a thing but it knew of her day in Stonehaven with that coarse tink brute, Ewan Tavendale, they’d been seen to go wandering out to Dunnottar together, they’d hidden away down in a hole by the sea—what did they that for if they’d nothing to hide? The postie told this to Auntie while Chris meated the chickens, Auntie fair grew worked up and forgot to rage, near crying she was as she told the story to Chris. How funny were folk! Chris thought, standing and fronting that trembling face. You knew them, saw through them, tied them up in little packets stowed away in your mind, labelled coarse or tinks or fine; and they came tumbling from the packets at the very first shake, mixed and up-jumbled, she’d never known a soul bide neat and sure in his packet yet. For here was Auntie near crying because she thought her niece had been raped by Ewan Tavendale overnight, ashamed for her, sorry for her, fair set to carry her off to Aberdeen and cover her shame. But Chris said There’s nothing to cry about yet, Auntie Janet, Ewan and I haven’t lain together. We’ll wait till we’re married, and laughed at her Auntie’s face, it was funny and pitiful both at once. And Auntie said He’s to marry you then? and Chris said she hoped so, but you never knew, and Auntie fell in a fearsome stew again, it wasn’t fair to torment her like that, but that was the mood of Chris that morning.

  Then Chae Strachan came up from the Knapp and looked at old Bob lying dead in his park. He shook his head over him, he doubted if the knacker would pay more than a pound–the closest muckers in Scotland, knackers, and that was fair saying a lot. Syne he promised to drive Auntie and her man to the station, and went back to the Knapp for his gig and was up and waiting before you could blink. And Chris helped her relatives up in the gig, and sent them her love to her brothers, and off the gig spanked, they looked over their shoulders and saw her stand laughing, she didn’t care a button, coarse quean that she was.

  And fair a relief was the riddance, the place to herself again; and then as she watched the gig whip round the corner into the turnpike it came on her that it wasn’t again, it was just the first time! Blawearie was hers, ther
e wasn’t a soul in the place but herself, nobody had a right to come near it but if she allowed. The honeysuckle was blinding sweet in the sun, wet still, and she stood beside it and buried her face in it, laughed into it, blushed in it, remembering herself of the night before. And Ewan would be up to see her soon, to see her … and she wouldn’t think of more! she had hundreds of things to do.

  By noon she had dinner set for the old wife sent from Stonehaven. And then she heard Chae’s gig come driving up to Blawearie and there was Chae and an old bit body, fair tottery she seemed as she got from the gig, with a black mutch on and a string bag gripped in her hand. But when she’d reached the ground she was none so tottery, she said that the heights aye feared her legs; and she looked Chris all over as though to make sure of her, living or dead, and asked Where’ll I put my box, Mem? And Chris blushed for shame that any old soul should Mem at her, Maybe Chae will carry it up for us? And Chae said Och, fine that, and hoisted the old tin thing on his shoulder, and went swaggering into the house, and Mrs Melon followed after and Chris turned to Chae’s gig.