The Life of a Celebrated Buccaneer

  CHAPTER XI.

  Our Buccaneer from his earliest times had always kept his Sabbaths in amanner peculiar to himself. He put on his best clothes and a long hat,shut up all his shops but kept open his pot and public houses, andallowed no other recreations than going to church and drinking. Six dayshad his people to enjoy themselves and his tradesmen to adulterate theirdifferent articles of merchandise, the seventh day he decreed should begiven up to worship and to pious meditations. All his museums were shutup and all his picture galleries were closed, and his chief city wouldhave been like a city of the dead, if it had not been for the howlingmobs that occupied his parks, and other public places, and eithershouted sedition or spouted religion. Entire freedom of speech heconsidered absolutely necessary to the entire freedom of the subject.Many of his people who were not thus engaged passed their time in aninoffensive manner in their favourite pot-house and boosed their holidayaway. This from a pecuniary point of view was very much more profitableto the Buccaneer than the opening of any of his museums or libraries;for from drink he derived a goodly income. It is sad, but it must beowned that this rich man had his poor, and where there is poverty thereis discontent. The skirts of his garments did trail in the mud. The mostdistressing thing about this Poverty is that she will bring forth andincrease, in an altogether unnecessary manner, thereby providing foodfor the jail, the hangman, and in the end, the devil.

  Some sinned in this respect who ought by example to have taught a betterlesson. It was no uncommon thing in the Buccaneer's island for one ofhis priests to ascend the pulpit, and preach from there the efficacy,and even necessity, of practising self denial. He would then descendfrom his throne and point a moral to adorn his tale, by marrying andbringing into the world a number of children that he had no visiblemeans of supporting; your priest's quiver is generally full, and heseems at times to have a beautiful faith in God's mercy. Thinking,perhaps, that as He fed the Israelites in the days of old, so would Hefeed him and his numerous progeny now, with manna fresh from heaven.

  It was said that our Buccaneer frequently forgot to look at home, andraising his eyes over the heads of his own poor, fixed his sympatheticgaze upon other people's. Perhaps he did experience a certain amount ofgratification at seeing his name at the head of subscription lists, whenany of his neighbours suffered from either fire, famine, or pestilence;and to clothe the naked savage of the sunny south, where clothing,except the smallest amount for decency's sake, is absolutelyunnecessary, seemed to be to him a more meritorous action than themending of the rags of his own poverty stricken people.

  Then as if he had not enough poor of his own, all his neighbours paid aflattering tribute to his good nature and generosity, by emptying theirhuman sweepings into his dust bin; until in time his island became--andhe prided himself upon the fact--an asylum for all the cut-throats,thieves, blackguards, assassins and idiots of the whole world. MadamLiberty had a good deal to say to this. But our Buccaneer, or fightingtrader as he had become, was generous even to his own poor in aspasmodic kind of way, and when in his church he heard the oft toldstory of Dives and Lazarus, it made him sympathetic and opened thebowels of his compassion, and could he have laid hands upon that rascalDives he would have been made to suffer. This Dives does not appear,however, to have been a monster of iniquity. The only sin he apparentlycommitted, was to fare sumptuously every day, and clothe himself in finelinen. Who amongst us will not do the same if he has but the chance? Domodern Christians live the life of anchorites? Does Dives never sit atthe priest's table? Did the Buccaneer's priesthood, from the head down,eschew fine linen, and even at times gorgeous raiments? Do they turntheir faces against the luxury of the table on which delicaciestemptingly repose. Suppose the Buccaneer on his way home from hisdevotions had found Lazarus on his door-step, would he have taken himin? not a bit of it. He would have sent him quickly about his business,and if he did not hurry himself the officer of the law would have beencalled in and Lazarus would have been marched away as a rogue andvagabond. Would the Buccaneer's high priest or any other of hisecclesiastics have taken Lazarus in and washed his sores; tended to him,and fed him? Yes, yes, but times have changed and the story of Lazarusdoes very well as an example to hold up before the people for piousadmiration, but Lazarus' case does not apply to our present high stateof civilization, with all its complex social machinery for the benefitof the poor. The proper place for Lazarus now would be the sick ward ofa poor house.

  Having thus briefly sketched the early history of our Buccaneer orfighting trader; his conversion, the manufacturing of his religion, andthe method he had of persuading the heathen to become Christians, it isnecessary to relate how he conducted his business. His old sea-faringinstincts stuck to him, and he moored on the river that flowed past hisprincipal city, a ship which he called the Ship of State, and by herside he moored another, which he called his Church Ship, and these tworode side by side and stemmed the current of time.

  It could not be said that either of these ships were rapid sailers.Indeed, both of them were somewhat bluff in the bows, but they wereexcellent sea boats, and the old Ship of State had weathered many astorm, and had experienced in her day much foul weather. Her figure-headwas a crown. Her crew all told numbered some six hundred and seventyhands, and was divided into two watches, Starboard and Port, each havingits captain, lieutenants, petty officers, able and very ordinary seamen,cooks, bottle-washers, swabbers, and adventurers. Of the latter therewere a goodly few in each watch, and they had but one star to steer by;but that one was of the very first magnitude. These adventurers were avery busy body of men, and by keeping up a great noise, and pushingthemselves to the front, they tried very hard to feather their nests, ordrop into some well-paid but sinecure office. They were frequentlysuccessful.

  In the after part of the Ship of State the Buccaneer had placed hissecond or Upper Chamber, into which he sent all those of his sons whohad done well. Here they enjoyed in peace and extreme quiet theirwell-earned repose. When thus shelved they were given titles, and werefrequently endowed out of the public purse. In early times some of themembers of the Upper Chamber had endowed themselves, but there were veryfew of the old stock left. The principle that our Buccaneer had ofpromoting his sons to the Upper Chamber was peculiar. It was not basedupon personal merit, nor at all times upon services rendered to theState. Success in trade, or fidelity to a party, was generallyconsidered to be, by him, of the very first consideration.

  The power that this Upper Chamber once had was extremely great, but nowall this had changed, and the old ship was worked entirely, or nearlyso, by whichever watch happened to be on duty. Besides, as will beshown, the Upper Chamber had the misfortune to fall under thedispleasure of one of the ship's crew.

  The Buccaneer dearly loved a lord, no matter whether he was spiritual ortemporal, and the women, with few exceptions, adored them withoutdistinction. There is perhaps too much obloquy bestowed upon the toadyand tuft hunter. Why should they be so despised? To love and revere thegreat is surely a commendable action. Are they not the salt of theearth? Sometimes, indeed, the salt has a little lost its flavour, butwhat then? Much that is good must still remain, to which homage is due.It is the birthright of those who, by their superior intelligence,wisdom, and virtue, have placed themselves high up on pedestals, forcommon humanity to bow down and worship them.

  Who does not love a lord? This esteem for the great is universal. Eventhe democratic cheap-Jack Jonathan dearly loved a lord; but as he hadnone of his own he had to make the most he could out of other people's,and he did. It was thought by many, that such a clever fellow as thisJonathan would not be long without lords of his own; but that he wouldmanufacture a few out of the cheap shoddy that he always had on hand.

  The Upper Chamber ought to have been extremely wise, and their councilseven inspired, for their deliberations were sanctified and leavened bythe presence amongst them of a certain number of Lords Spiritual. Thisgave a sort of Divine authority to the great affairs of State. Thepriest's kingdom is not of this
world; it is therefore all the morewonderful how in every age, and in every clime, he becomes clothed,hemmed in, and perhaps hampered by temporal power, which no doubt hewears as a garment of sackcloth and ashes.

  The Church Hulk, which was moored on that side of the Ship of State awayfrom the shore, was commanded by the Buccaneer's High Priest, onecelebrated for his piety and learning. His crew was numerous and veryable, though at times a mutinous spirit showed itself on board when theauthority of the High Priest was openly defied; but then it must beremembered that the church was a church militant, and the priests truechips of the fighting old Buccaneer block. The power of the Buccaneer'spriesthood grew, and waxed in strength, and gained such an influenceover him that he was not allowed to do anything scarcely without theirsanction, and before he set out on any of his predatory expeditions healways asked the blessing and the prayers of the church, and was veryseldom if ever refused. This practice is followed even now amongstbrigands, in certain parts. These picturesque cut-throats say theirprayers before their favourite shrine, and then sally out, slit a gulletand steal a purse with a clear conscience, and take some of the spoilback--if they be pious brigands--to their favourite shrine.

  In time the Buccaneer's State Church became so extremely rich thatenvious eyes were cast in her direction. Those on board of the oldChurch Hulk denied her wealth, and they should have known. Some of hercrew were poor enough, heaven knows, and the Great Hat was constantlysent round. The priest, he is by nature a beggar. It is perhaps one ofthe few relics we have of that time, when a pure religion was planted bya small band of mendicants, who had neither shoes upon their feet, normoney in their scrips.

  How beautiful is poverty at a distance. Songs have been sung in itspraise, but no one likes it. It pinches so, and in the Buccaneer'sisland it was as the mark of Cain. There is something to be said on itsside though, for is it not written? "Happy are the poor, for theirs isthe kingdom of heaven." Twice happy are they, for not only is theirs thekingdom of heaven, but they are free from the social parasite who neverleaves the rich man alone. One attacks him and begs, because he has alarge family born to genteel poverty. Another has a church to be roofedor renovated, or some distressing object of charity which he wouldwillingly hang round the neck of the rich man instead of his own, untilthe rich man being tormented by a thousand and one importunate beggarsof high and low degree, feels inclined to exclaim, "Oh! unhappy indeedam I, for not only is it harder for me to enter the kingdom of heaven,than it is for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, but also onearth I am not unfrequently set upon, and despitefully used by thecommon and vulgar thief, while the hand of the whole world is againstme."